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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30099954">Paradox</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothikaBangtan/pseuds/GothikaBangtan'>GothikaBangtan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bangtan, mono. - Kim Namjoon | RM (Album), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AMWF, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Asian Character(s), Bi-Curiosity, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Breasts, Come Swallowing, Consent, Deepthroating, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fucking, Gay Male Character, Guns, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Italian Character(s), Manic Episode, Murder, Murder Family, Mutilation, Orgasm, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Recreational Drugs, Sexual Fluidity, Suicide, Vaginal Fingering, Weapons Kink, consent obtained, grope, safe sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:53:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>114,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30099954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothikaBangtan/pseuds/GothikaBangtan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of eyes changed everything, they led me down a path I never thought existed.</p><p>And what is worse, how do you try to love without attachment , because you have learned that love gets you hurt in the past, its all fake love surely?. Can you fake everything you are feeling.</p><p>Katalina and Namjoon meet by chance and go down a road where neither of them could of imagined, followed by a past they couldn't have anticipated, they must question everything they think they know about their ideas of addiction , sex and the complexities that arise.</p><p>How can you say what you feel , if you are trying to escape from feeling, maybe that is the biggest Paradox of all.<br/>But how does this unconventional love story start.......in the rain.</p><p>THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ACTS, BEHAVIOURS AND SCENES DEPICTED IN NO WAY CORRELATE TO WHO THESE MEN ARE IN REAL LIFE, THEIR VISUALS AND SOME LITTLE EASTER EGGS ARE THE ONLY SIMILARITIES IN THIS AND THEY ARE THEIR OWN CHARACTERS.</p><p> </p><p>ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In the Sand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AUTHORS NOTES -<br/>This story will get deep and dark and is a long story currently in progress.<br/>Written primarily from Kat's perspective, it will include portions written in a 3rd party style to explain scenes that occur in the past or when Kat is not present.<br/>I am also trialling the idea of inserting soundtrack suggestions as I as a writer listen to music and I feel it may add a little something to the story.<br/>This story was initially inspired by the song 'Winter Flower' By Youhna and RM , and you will see in time why.<br/>Love , Gothika x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 1 - In The Sand .</p><p>I guess starting at the beginning, the logical place to start, in a story that is anything but.</p><p> </p><p>A story that led me down the roads in my life being defined by a singular being , whom I wished I had seen coming a mile off but when you are blinded by the pursuit of escapism ,you remain the outsider into the verses unravelling before you.</p><p>Love and obsession and addiction can drive the sanest mind made , and make the hardest heart break.</p><p>So to start , My name , Kat , short for Katalina, a short olive skinned Italian girl from Camden in the united Kingdom. I don't need to describe to you how I look, as that has changed through all of this , I change my look to meet the place I'm in.</p><p> I don't like to stick out, I prefer to be the twig floating down the river looking at the stars and no caring, The world never did care what tree I fell off of anyways so...... anyways I digress.</p><p>I was always a nomad, I couldn't stay in one place too long , my feet always wanted to be moving and in search of the next place that offered any excitement ,chasing what ever chemical high that could help in that mission.</p><p>So I guess about  y4ish ears ago is the parts that you need to know , where this mess began .I had found myself in a part of South East Asia , working bar jobs , because lets face it, in my 20s those where the skills I mastered with every flick of my wrist , and now the 30s were well and truly here I used what I knew to pay my way.</p><p>I was living out of a suitcase in a small studio apartment which all seemed to blend into each space was the place I laid my head at night after coming home past all the sounds of seashore nightlife and hedonism. It didn't matter , Sleep was a chore and got in the way of my pursuits but again a necessary evil by any means.</p><p>Days and nights blended into each other and the faces did the same , I didn't take time to notice them, they didn't hold any foothold in my life and I suspect many didn't view above my breasts anyways and that was the way of it since I arrived , until one night changed everything and the darkest eyes in their dragon quality captured mine. How did one set of eyes change so much.</p><p> </p><p>***********************************<br/>
'You don't look up much do you'  a voice said from the corner of the bar , to which I ignored as much as I could , I was used to small talk, it was almost scripted and thrown at me every single night.</p><p>'Excuse me... I was speaking'  the voice said again, its velvet smoothness creeping up the wet bar in front of us both .<br/>
' What.... do you want' I said, trying to not meet the gaze of the rude tone being sent in my direction.</p><p>'Well that depends.... ' he answered back,  ' you don't look too British'.</p><p>'That's because I'm Italian buddy' I snapped back with nonchalance .</p><p>'well your accent could've fooled me Noona' he smirked back, with chocolate brown eyes under a smooth honey brow.</p><p>My head shot up and turned to him with flared nostrils .</p><p>' Isn't it rude to assume someone's age' I breathed to him, knowing full well from my time travelling that it was a Korean term for an older female.</p><p>'I assume nothing then , other than it got you to finally pay some attention' he smirked as if he was winning an imaginary battle in his own mind.</p><p>'Well you don't exactly sound Korean ....' I replied with pointed glare , trying to match his tone , after all I was used to winning these types of conversations which were so regular, that I would bat them away like a tennis ball with a bounce in my step.</p><p>' well its good I look Korean then' and again ending with a smirk over the rim of his whiskey glass.</p><p>'Ok, well are you actually wanting something or is this your attempt to waste my time ' I said his head lifted a little and shook in slight disbelief that I had a rebuttal to his half arsed question , the sides of his mouth creasing slightly as if to say 'ok well you asked for it '.</p><p>'I guess I don't know , I wasn't expecting such a snappy retort ' he said whilst fumbling with a whiskey  glass in his left hand, with expression of just asking for another shot.</p><p>' well that's not original ...' I huffed , rolling my eyes with the energy of a sleepy cat and I turned around to distract myself from this cock sure of himself Korean male in front of me.</p><p>'Isn't this the part you ask my name' he scuffed along the bar trying to meet my eyes which where a length below his , my 5ft 4in frame didn't seem to want to extend upwards .</p><p>'No' I said monosyllabically, trying to distract myself further.</p><p>'Joon...Kim Namjoon, hi' he said thrusting his  glass filled hand towards me , only to realise he was still holding the glass and abruptly dropping it over the bar and it shattering at my feet.</p><p>'Great... anything else you wanna say or assault ...or can I get on with things' I said glancing up trying to ignore his alluring dark dragon shaped eyes.</p><p>Id seen eyes like his but there was something different this time, I don't know what as I couldn't place my finger on it , it wasn't something I could summarise , and I wasn't sure that I wanted to.</p><p>' Would you believe me if I said I was sorry and this isn't the first time that's happened' he chortled and gave that smirk again.</p><p>' I believe some people are born either as assholes or buffoons, I'm not sure what side you fall into just yet' I shot back trying to dissuade this younger man that I wasn't interested....oh Kat how you lie to yourself sometimes.</p><p>' Well I can be both , it not too much difference between the two' he said as he followed me around the bar that I was trying to clean , tracing my every word with his mind and trying to steal my glance.</p><p>'Joon ..is it....well I guess that rhymes with one of those types, unless you've got a middle name that rhymes with asshole ....' I gave a mini laugh to myself.</p><p>'No , I don't have a middle name , not many Koreans do , it not a thing there' he trailed off when he realised that the expression on my face already knew this and he had fallen for my rouse .</p><p>'Well can I help' he asks, ' I've tended bar before, bit more than I've propped them up, and I promise to not drop anymore glasses on you. Unless you ask me to' he laughed to himself.</p><p>At this point Id met the end of the bar and he was standing there adamantly waiting for an answer , with his arms crossed across his ample chest and his bleach blonde tresses falling away from his undercut , looking down towards my tired face.</p><p>I huff..... ' You don't give up do you, shall we make this simple, not interested, I just work here, it pays the bills, try it on with another barmaid, we have plenty of dumb ones for you to pick from' I say as a I try to get past this non menacing 6ft tall human doorway with a chest trying to escape out the sides of a ripped sleeveless shirt.</p><p>'No I don't , conversation is more important ...and well I only thought you were dumb at the start, but then you kept talking to me, so there must be some more insults you can throw at me or we can talk like humans ' he shrugged still refusing to move .</p><p>The bar was in essence a hut with a questionable thatched roof around a circle shaped bar which faced the local beach and sea at one side and the bustling street behind it , it smell like sawdust, like all the time , it had an aura about it that mean cheap drinks and ever rotating barmaids.</p><p>It had been a slow night to that point, a few passers by but nothing spectacular occurred that night or really any other before, it was a job, that paid the bills and was easy to leave if the tide decided to take me elsewhere.</p><p>' Well its raining, looks like I'm stuck here' Joon said as he turned , still arms crossed in front of him, almost hitting me in the face with one of the tits in my eyeline.</p><p>'what ...fuck no shit....the Parasols' I said in a frustrated gasp,</p><p>'Those fucking things don't dry well and I needed to get them in but well guess what!........ ' I said looking up to his face.</p><p>' An asshole and a buffoon walked into the bar ' Joon said , raising both eyebrows.</p><p>'Yes one without a middle name ' I marched past him.</p><p>Matching my pace was not difficult , his jean shorts and dominating thighs made quick pace of keeping up with my steps across the veranda to this piss taking parasols, he seemed to not want to leave, and not an ounce of alcohol about him or his breathe.</p><p>What does this asshole want , why will he not just move on like the other customers, I don't have time for this ...oh fuck the parasols, damn this Joon is in my area more than I would like.</p><p>'Here , take this ' I said handing his a sodden Parasol half filled with water , 'Make you tall arse useful, and try not to break this' I scolded him ,whilst trying to maintain my balance in the sodden sand and maintain decorum in the summer dress I was wearing, which being white fabric didn't go well with the rain thundering down on us both.</p><p>Oh shit I hope he doesn't notice, I tend to scare them off at this point.</p><p>Not that I'm trying to fuck this man.....Kat...the parasol.....or you'll get shit again from the boss.</p><p>This is Asia, its hot in the summer and a black bikini under a form fitting summer dress wasn't a bad option, except when it rained, Yes I'm really helping my cliché aren't I, of a dumb barmaid.</p><p>He caught the parasol and took about half the face full of water I'd intended for him, and just looked at me with a dragons hunger in this eyes, with water tracing its way slowly down his face like a serpent, forming droplets at the end of those bleach blonde tresses ,and in that moment, I knew it would be a last moment with him. This asshole is onto something, but part of me wished that he would fall over the fucking parasol and face plant, so I can dismiss his arse quicker than it arrived.</p><p>You should've aborted mission right there Kat, it could have saved you, it could have saved your heart, and the decisions that followed, but you had to know didn't you.</p><p>'sigh'</p><p>He shook his head and arched his back in an effort to dry himself off , not that that would have worked at all, and I'm damn sure it was just so he could have people pay attention to the Namtitties he had.</p><p> 'Ha Namtitties' I snorted in my own head, Yes I made jokes in my head a lot , a way of keeping track of customers, those who pissed me off, those with a nice arse, those with small dick energy, surely this was something every barmaid did in their head to pass the time, or I was just really strange, but then again I was used to that.</p><p>I wasn't in the business of knowing names , but ill be damned that nickname for him wasn't words id ever said in my own head ....I mean come on Kat, who says titties anymore , you aint fucking 5 love !</p><p>He was still in front of me, huffing and trying to gently blow the water and incoming rain off his face.</p><p>'You need to tell me where to stick these , I cant hold them all day' he said in his now deeper voice.</p><p>'huh .... oh fuck ..yeah ...you can stick them, well just shove them...' I said</p><p>'Pardon' Joon uttered in a slightly childlike tone</p><p>'Just stick them in that hut over there , it isn't locked , it the one with 0613 on the front .....oh and for fuck sake be careful...these things may look like shit but my boss insists we keep them '.</p><p> I signal towards the left of the bar and continue to try and pack the remaining parasols by pulling them out their rusted bases and I follow after Joon , dragging the other parasols because I was no match for the height.</p><p>The rain at this point is thundering down and we both have seen better days and looked like we were caught in a tsunami .</p><p>Joon just stands there eyes closed and head pointing towards the sky, 'What the fuck is he doing ' I think to myself , I notice when approaching that his neck in itself was a varied work of art , Hangul Tattoo on side and a jagged scar at the bottom.</p><p>Both I'm sure had their own story , but at this moment in time I was rather pre occupied with not letting the idiot fill him own lungs with water in this position.</p><p>'Hey ....HEY.....' I Say and he doesn't respond, so like any good patron I huff and I grab the side of his shorts and gently tug him towards the bar, buffoon ...asshole.....namtitted idiot...you'll catch your death of cold if I don't.</p><p>'Huh.....wow yeah , good call' he says as he scurries for over to the semi shelter of the bar , and places his soggy backside on the rickety red bar stool we have surrounding this shack of a bar.</p><p>The seats are unforgiving and cased in electrical tape as they are fit to bust every time they welcome a new arse.</p><p>Joon is soaked all over and that proves to be even less forgiving on these chairs ...and yep....like a slippery peach he slides off the seat whilst trying to form his first post rain sentence, and lands on his butt .</p><p>'Fuck Sake ...really....'' I say under baited breath from behind the bar whilst drying my soggy black hair with a beer towel, 'God damn namtitted freak'</p><p>I said that a little louder than intended.</p><p>'I'm sorry ...what did you call me , your chair attacked me' he pursed with staccato breath and a semi snort of a laugh.</p><p>'I ...I .....well tell me I'm wrong .....' I said</p><p>'No....its more the namtitted freak part......what is that?!? , Your English is so confusing' He replied.</p><p>I look him up and down and gesture with my finger up and down as if to say 'That's you mate'</p><p>'Well this is one for the evening, I hit you with a glass, you soak me in water, I lug your parasols to a shed, and then your chair attacks me and throws me on the floor' he huffs like a child recounting how they lost a fight with am aggressive balloon puppet.</p><p>'You still haven't given me your name, and well I dare say me and the Namtitties have earned that much' he says raising his eyebrows with are encased below his drying bleach blonde long fringe, each with a various part shaved off as if to try and be trendy.</p><p>With an eye roll and shake of my body due to the impending cold of my wet clothes,' My name is Kat , short for Katalina'</p><p>' Kat....as in pussy ' he smirked back with his eyes becoming more defined as he tried to win the conversation.</p><p>'Really....dude Really...' I say meeting his gaze.</p><p>'Well if I'm namtitties in your brain ....maybe you can be pussy in mine' he replies.</p><p>I glare as he fetches his pig headed buttocks off the floor and winks his left eye at me and leaves the bar with a swagger in his step.</p><p>'Pussy ....really, well you dude have no idea...and besides I didn't hurt you...you hurt yourself ' I mutter to myself in an effort to talk myself out of this evenings events.</p><p>Who the hell is that, why is he so accident prone, why is his gaze really confusing me right now......Dammit Kat.......anyways lets shut this shithole down and go home...you're cold and annoyed....not a good look and at this point your attire is half filled with water.</p><p> </p><p>'Namtitties ...hmm write that down Kat' I said in my mind , I may need it again. And with that , the first fateful night ended , and a slow walk home in the colder air began.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2 -  4 Walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The first few chapters are establishing the characters and I'm trying to build Namjoon's personality to match well with some of his well known quirks.<br/>I am also trying to establish who Kat is , as she is not being written as a Y/N Character and has her own back story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My feet knew the way, they always did , it was well rehearsed pattern of many months that folded into one another.</p>
<p>By this time the rain had eased and the cool summer breeze hung in the air and gently guided me along my path home.</p>
<p>my mind was unusually active this evening, and I'm so blaming it all on that 'Namtitted freak'.</p>
<p>I normally avoid conversation, and normally the insults are because of the patrons in the bar losing their inhibitions and hitting on the girl who was in their eyeline.</p>
<p>I fumbled around in my well worn leather bag that had been slung over my shoulder and partially stuck to my wet shirt dress, my hand dodging the random crap that culminated at the bottom no matter how much I tried to organise it and found them.</p>
<p>My place was literally that, just a place that had 4 walls and did the job of keeping the climate off me. It was dark and dated and split into 4 areas and thankfully was rented by the month.</p>
<p>I always missed the light switch and even then, had to hit it a few good times to get the bastard thing to work, electric was something of a scarcity around here so sometimes all I managed was candles, and well I seemed to own more candles than clothes at this point. I'm sure anyone breaking in would think I'm in some weird cult, but I digress.</p>
<p>Making my way inside the humidity hits me and I realise the AC has gloriously conked out again, making me wonder why I don't just take a baseball bat to it and end its misery.</p>
<p>Shaking my head wearily I peel the t-shirt off me and unceremonially dump it in the sink narrowly missing the toothbrush holder and walk directly opposite my bathroom to the corner of the studio apartment that had my couch.</p>
<p>I was in the under bikini but didn't care, it was fucking hot and right now parts of me need drying and I'm too lazy to find a towel.</p>
<p>It had been a weird night and I lay my damp hair back on the head of the couch, letting the street lights glowing outside dance across my face, and breathed air in and out like it was a cool drink I needed.</p>
<p>The hum of the electric filled the air, the mild wind outside made the litter swirl occasionally until ......BANG!!!!</p>
<p>I swear I almost borderline shit myself, and shooting up from the couch I see the devastation of a pile of magazines had fallen off the bistro bar and hit the stools and then the floor in succession.</p>
<p>There was a culprit, one that always let itself in even though it didn't belong to me.</p>
<p>'Yoongi....you little shit 'I part yelled and sighed.</p>
<p>'I see you got in again' I said as I made my way over to retrieve all that was now on the floor.</p>
<p>Yoongi... was a cat and perhaps my only constant friend at that point, he just showed up one day, found a way into my apartment and put on the best show of his fluffy little life, like he was auditioning for something.</p>
<p>He always had an expression on him like he was plotting to take over the world but didn't have a clue how to do it, and well I couldn't stay made at him forever, he had a way of meowing and showing a big gummy grin at the same time.</p>
<p>'I suppose this is my cue to feed you?' I said tilting my head to mirror him whilst he tried to climb up me to make apologies for causing a mess.</p>
<p>'I need to start charging you for food .... you just show up and expect me to feed you' I say whilst walking round to a small black clipped box that contained a variety of cat treats and pouches.</p>
<p>I may have said one thing to this little sleek black-haired cat, but I got to admit he did grow on me.</p>
<p>I turned my back for a second and heard another thump on the floor, rolling my eyes I turned to see the look of guilt across his face, as he has knocked a tangerine onto the floor.</p>
<p>'Anything else you want to destroy' I say, getting into his face and he gently placed a forgiving nose on mine.</p>
<p>'Bribery doesn't work here pussy' I chuckled as he gently nodded onto my head.</p>
<p>'Pussy......dammit Joon ...you've ruined that phrase for me' I said shaking my head trying to shake the memory of the clumsy stranger from my head.</p>
<p>Yoongi  continued to demand my attention, until I had filled a bowl up to his acceptable level, and how dove in practically inhaling the food with an eagerness to get back to whatever he was doing before.</p>
<p>'You eat Yoongles , I think I need to do the same' I said whilst my hands glided down to my stomach, and then realising I was still just in the bikini that had been under the wet dress.</p>
<p>I guided my feet into the corner of the room containing my bed, a small black sheet covered bed that had a variety of items on it that I had been too lazy to sort out and place in their rightful places.</p>
<p>A pair of blue shorts and a grey vest top were on the pile of the clothes Id placed by the bed, and seemed to be a combo that would do the job of covering the requisite parts whilst I cooked some food......trust me spattering cooking fat and a bare vagina were not a good combo, and yes ...I learned that the hard way during a drunken cooking session, and well there is never a friendly person to kiss that better when you need it hey ?.</p>
<p>I decided to check the fridge and it was almost empty, I was one for leaving shopping for groceries until the last minute, but managed to pull together a sort of meal out of left-over rice and some pork belly strips and soy sauce. It didn't need to be complex, it just needed to fill my stomach so I could drift to sleep and then contemplate the chores and groceries tomorrow.</p>
<p>And it did as it was intended to do and I just laid on the couch afterwards listening to the rain that had just started again and listened to its thunder of pitter patter on the roof above me.</p>
<p>Yoongi had decided he wanted to keep my company and dragged his bouncy little body over to join me.</p>
<p>'So how was your night? 'I said, half expecting him to answer and tell me about all the tail he got that night. He just looked at me winking with his now sleepy world domination face.</p>
<p>'That good huh, well I was insulted and almost tit slapped by some Wanna be charismatic Korean in the bar today' I looked over to see Yoongi was rapidly losing interest with me and with a stretch and flick of his tail he trotted off and out of a hole in my apartment that I was yet to find, which he used to come and go as he pleased.</p>
<p>'Well, I guess that's my cue to sleep, come on Kat 'and with that I retired to my bed and drifted off trying to find the relaxation that Yoongi found so easily.</p>
<p>It seemed like Id blinked but with a loud buzz of an alarm on the side table, I was awake.</p>
<p>The light outside was now daylight and much less forgiving than the subtle streetlights before.</p>
<p>The rumble of my stomach must have woken me up as well, so after some silent debate I got up and got half way across the room before remembering that the fridge was bare.</p>
<p>I threw on clothes and tied my hair back, not caring that it looked like Yoongi had fallen asleep on my head and then shat on it.</p>
<p>Leaving the house, I grabbed a purple flyer that had been posted through my door about a new store that had opened near me, part butchery part café, part everything really and was offering a free coffee to those with the flyer.</p>
<p>'Well free coffee, I aint going to turn that down' I said as if someone would answer, but I was so used to talking to myself.</p>
<p>I followed the direction on the back and found myself as this new store, with the gaudiest lighting outside that I'd seen, and half of it wasn't working properly.</p>
<p>'EATJIN', I said half looking down my own nose, 'Who names these things 'I said raising the flyer to myself as it to remind myself there was free coffee in this place.</p>
<p>I opened the door, well when I say open, I fought with the rusty hinges that had obviously not been replaced since the last owners.</p>
<p>The lighting got more intense, hard for my tired brain to register, and I guided myself over to the basics area and grabbed the essentials like milk and bread and butter, and then pondered what cuts of meat I wanted, until a newly familiar voice pricked my ears and caused my eyes to dilate and slowly turn around hoping to be meet with denial.</p>
<p>Joon, again Joon, he was standing by the fresh meat counter, talking to the Korean speaking owner who didn't look old enough to own this building, but he was intently talking to Joon and was equally as handsome as Joon.</p>
<p>'Dammit Kat' I said in my disapproving tone in my own mind.</p>
<p>'Don't move, he won't see you then' I said internally as if I was trying to convince myself that his vision was based on movement.</p>
<p>It sorts of worked, he shook hands with the wide-eyed owner and left, opening the door I struggled with, with ease, which only in turn made me slightly sneer at him as it was another victory in his column.</p>
<p>I went to counter and paid for my items and bagged them up in one of the many reusable nets backs I always carried around in my handbag and I left, again fighting the door and giving up when I had opened it enough to squeeze through.</p>
<p>Barely a step or two onto the cracked pavement outside, something soft and cold hit my foot.</p>
<p>'Please don't be a dead rat, please please please' I said as I slowly looked down with a half-opened pair of eyes.</p>
<p>Relief spread across my face when I realised it was just battered brown leather wallet, and I crouched to pick it up. It fell open as had been well used and held no strength in the crease and the first thing I see makes me roll my eyes.</p>
<p>A Korean ID , MR Kim Namjoon , 19940912 and the dorkiest photo I've ever seen in my life , definitely not matching well with the face I met last night .</p>
<p>'Well I guess I am a Noona after all' I said placing the wallet in my grocery bag.</p>
<p>That there would have been a great opportunity to avoid everything that was to come. Looking back now I should have just re fought the door and handed this lost property to the owner inside but no , I kept hold of it.</p>
<p>Was I trying to get one up on Joon, I don't know , I wish I made a different choice , but time would soon reveal everything in a manner I cannot change.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3 - Extra Large</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short but to the point to build and explain the next event.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days had rolled over into one another since I found the Wallet and as the days passed so did the intrigue grow. I'll be honest I was wanting to know why this stranger with a penchant for sexy clumsiness always seemed to keep entering my mind.</p>
<p>So, one evening I fetched the wallet from my bag, I needed to satisfy my curiosity.</p>
<p>It was old, brown leather, marked like an insane road map across the front and back which I could tell was due to his clumsy ass, he no doubt had lost this thing more times than he had had hot dinners and seemed the type to just keep hold of it because it works.</p>
<p>It held no strength in the fold and smelt unremarkable, it seemed typical to me, I mean what replace something if it works well</p>
<p>My nomad days had taught me. The burden of unnecessary crap was tiresome when you don't have roots down anywhere.</p>
<p>First was the ID, A Korean ID.</p>
<p>'South Korea Ilsan' I read aloud, holding the marked license in my eyeline and trying hard not to smirk at the apparently aged photograph which looked nothing like the freak I'd been 'Entertained' by many nights previously.</p>
<p>'12th September 1994....so that makes you 26 by international standards' I uttered knowing full well that Koreans viewed age differently to those in other countries.</p>
<p>'So, I guess that does make me a Noona, I didn't want you to be right' I said as I shook my head placing the card down on the side table that was beside my seat on the couch at home.</p>
<p>I didn't want him to be right, I guess I didn't want to give him the satisfaction and allow him to use those dark eyes to smirk at me and worm their way in anymore. I was after all 34, but thankfully my Italian genes had preserved me better than I thought and I would often accept a lower age when others had the opportunity to guess.</p>
<p>I rooted through the remaining spaces, not caring for the bank notes in the wallet, I mean after all its not a bank account nor would I care if this guy was rich or broke as a beggar.</p>
<p>Two condoms where in the back which I again held in my eyeline, partially intrigued.</p>
<p>'Extra Large' I chuckled, 'is someone telling the truth or are they just really high on themselves', And to be honest I would guess both, as I remembered his cock sure of himself persona when he first came into the Bar.</p>
<p>I myself had fallen prey to a small penis, I mean don't get me wrong , the size of the hammer doesn't matter when the workman knows what they are doing, but too many times to mention I had seen the over exaggeration and the disappointment.</p>
<p>'Well you can go down there' I said hesitantly and placed them on top of the license with my thumb and my index finger as if it was a used teabag.</p>
<p>Yoongi was sleeping at my feet and stirred to see what I was doing.</p>
<p>'Hey cat, don't get any ideas, we have no idea where those things have been' I said to him, half expecting him to understand in this little cat mind what a contraceptive was, but he was too preoccupied licking his own balls to pay any attention to the whole of my sentence.</p>
<p>I found some numbers scrawled on a bit of an old receipt and a drawing at the bottom of a green and black star, it was something I'd seen before but couldn't for the life of me remember where. I didn't tend to pay too much attention to the etchings around here as I never stay in one place too long.</p>
<p>There was also a variety of things written in various styles all around and in an intriguing handwriting.</p>
<p>It was all written in Hangul, and aside from knowing a few words and phrases to get around and order my favourite food and drink I was fairly illiterate when it came to the Korean language, no matter how soothing and beautiful it sounded to the ear.</p>
<p>Nothing further really took my interest and I placed everything back in the wallet in the order id removed it, half chuckling when putting the condoms back in with caution and amusement.</p>
<p>The whole thing went back into my handbag, I didn't know if I would see Joon again, but I guess if I don't, I can just take it back to EATJIN and give it back to the wide-eyed owner and let him deal with Joon.</p>
<p>And that had been the intention, until one night that familiar tone rung through the empty bar and pricked my ears.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4 -  Blood Sweat and Beers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the hottest night so far and rather surprisingly the bar was absolutely dead apart from the occasional passer by giving me the unnecessary look up and down and me returning the glares with my regularly sarcastically placed grin. </p>
<p>I swear sometimes I am amazed how I hadn't been fired , but I guess that wasn't something I needed to worry about, as it hasn't happened so either the boss likes me or he is desperate and well it could indeed be a sprinkle of both.</p>
<p>But as I said, the relative silence was broken by that voice that I was growing to recognise before I saw in person.</p>
<p>'Well this asshole has returned' Joon said stumbling into the bar because he had been too preoccupied trying to remember how to use steps without falling on his ass.</p>
<p>' Indeed he has , but Joon most people don't announce it like they are holding their own concert' I quipped back with a smirk whilst I was part leaning across the bar with my head in my palms partly out of boredom, and occasionally brushing my fingers across my forehead to remove the sweat building up.</p>
<p>' But I am making an entrance, and well where is the crowd ' he mused looking around.</p>
<p>I again raised my eyebrows as if to question if this was naturally him or he was just trying to find his embarrassing way like a possibly drunk version of bambi.</p>
<p>'Well Rockstar , you are the only customer I've had in hours and are apparently ok with this heat ' I said .</p>
<p>'Rockstar, Pussy are you no longer insulting me..........' he said approaching me ever closer but being mindful of his steps as he knew he landed on his ass the last time he was here.</p>
<p>I just met his eyes with absolute blankness, he wasn't funny, or at least I didn't want him to think he was. I straightened up and adjusted my clothing to at least try and look comfortable during this heat and I sighed and gestured towards the clock and went to fetch my bag.</p>
<p>'Oh am I too late for a drink then , well I would ask if I could a favour , as I've misplaced ....' He said stopping part way through, when I turned and walked out of the gate in the bar towards him and handed his wallet to him by pressing it against his t shirt between the namtitties half expecting them to clench and hold them miraculously.</p>
<p>'I guess this freak and his goods are easily parted' I said looking up at him to see a half bemused and shocked look.'</p>
<p>'Its not the first time it happened trust me , you should see me with passports, I mean god knows how many of them are now on the black market' he said taking the wallet from his breast and putting into his black jean pockets and giving an awkward half laugh.</p>
<p>It would seem that my suspicions of him being a clumsy idiot was correct.</p>
<p>' And well I guess nothing has been Kat napped ...' He said half wanting me to laugh at his lame joke.</p>
<p>'Ha Ha Ha ....oh wait .....nope' I said trying to re ignore him whilst I cleaned the bar and not make any indication at how many times my name had been used in a pun.</p>
<p>He edged closer and stood in my way again , that human wall was becoming a habit and he didn't seem to be wanting to end that anytime soon.</p>
<p>'Well as you seem bored shitless , and I feel like I should be a gentleman, How about I help you clean, and I buy a bottle to make up for the lack of trade tonight and we just chat' He postured towards the beachline in front , his shirt slowly moving in and out with his heated breath.</p>
<p>'What will it be expensive girl' he said as he pointed towards the optics section of the bar and sighed.</p>
<p>'What ?' I said as I turned round to meet his eyeline , ' You don't talk to humans much do you... anyways boss wouldn't like that' I said trying to turn back round.</p>
<p>' Well he isn't here is he , and well trade has been slow and I feel like I need to thank you for keeping hold of this wallet ...which by the way, how and where ' He said and gesturing with his arms as to ask where.</p>
<p>' EATJINS...you were there speaking to the owner a week or so back ,and I found it on the floor outside' I replied </p>
<p>'Oh so now I have a stalker' He said folding his arms and looking down at me.</p>
<p>' Don't flatter yourself darling, it served food and the coffee was free that day , and you just happened to be there talking to that wide eyes shop owner ' I conversed whilst trying to get on with the job in hand.</p>
<p>' The Owner, yeah that's Seokjin, ummm...Ive known him for a while and he owns the joint , he tries his hand at everything and well he likes to cook, hence everything in that place, I don't think he can decide exactly what he wants to do with it' he said as he explained the story so it would some how make sense to me .</p>
<p>He followed me around the bar and I guess I half decided part way through his story, that I may as well make some money out of him tonight, and accept his offer of buying a bottle , but I didnt really want to get him so drunk that he would roll over inhale the sand like a beached whale or become one with the crabs that often scuttered by.</p>
<p>' Well Kat , what do I do' He posed and tutted to himself and curling the side of his ample lips in a small asserting smile.</p>
<p>'Well the optics , A big no no , but beer, yes, beer , cold , would actually work and maybe it'll shut you up for a bit too' I said meeting his previous level of cock sure when I said it.</p>
<p>After packing up the bar enough that it could be left and just locked up when passing back, I grabbed the most expensive Beer we had and walked over to the beach to a set of rocks often used as make shift chairs and a site for a fire pit.</p>
<p>Joon looked bemused and tried to hand me cash as I walked past his tall presence , cocktail stick between my lips with a cherry on the end and a swagger in my step.</p>
<p>Of Course he fumbled ,and left some notes in between the shutters that where pulled down by not locked and followed the footsteps id left in the sand.</p>
<p>I placed myself down , not caring that the sand could have been wet and opened a beer , taking a swig and sitting myself on a rock and placing my bag by myself, and Joon followed and eased himself onto the rock opposite.</p>
<p>I handed him a beer and he opened it with ease as if he was trying to mock my easier attempt earlier.</p>
<p>' So ' he said .</p>
<p>'Yes ' I said.</p>
<p>' Hot night and time to kill, fancy a game of truth or dare' he said barely parting his lips.</p>
<p>My tired self just tried to ignore him, it was easier and involved less energy , which I could use to keep cool.</p>
<p>' I wont take no for answer, as you intrigue me pussy Kat' he said half trailing off when he could see that I wasn't overly responding to that phrase anymore. </p>
<p>Huffing in a sort of tired acceptance I turned to him , ' Isn't that game for children?' I said.</p>
<p>'Well are we all forever young Kat, and on that topic .....Noona or not ...first truth' He said trying to coax an answer from me .</p>
<p>'True' I huffed , trying to slowly release my grip on the beer bottle so as to not show that he was somehow winning this and trying not to physically grit my teeth at him.</p>
<p>'So an elder , guess I need to be a little more respectful then' he said half laughing and taking an initial swig from his beer , but a little too fast and he was met with the inevitable foam of doom.</p>
<p>I let out a laugh , this boob was clumsy in everything, and I swear its a fucking marvel he actually manages to get dressed in the morning , surely he has broken so much, that even dressing is a task.</p>
<p>' I'm 34, its just a number, I don't tend to count my orbits that much, I am as young as a I choose to feel' I said trying to match his cockiness from earlier.</p>
<p>' sometime I barely remember my own birthday, it the life of a nomad, not much for wondering the days of year when you don't tend to stick around long in a place' I continued on from the last statement I made towards him. </p>
<p>Ill be honest , as much as he was an irritancy, for once, apart from the banter, it seemed like someone was finally listening and looking past the bar maid cliché , maybe it was the beer, I don't know, but hell apart from a few titbits, he was still a stranger and blank canvas to tell my worries to , so he could forget them after not seeing him again.</p>
<p>'Ok your turn then if this is us really playing 'I said as I turned to face him and placed my elbows on my knees . </p>
<p>'Me' He gestured pointing with his beer hand, 'Well ok , ask me a truth' He said straightening up his stance .</p>
<p>'Who are you really Joon' I said expecting a brush off.</p>
<p>'Wow deep....ok' He said brushing his hands off and placing the beer down and resting his hands on his Jean clad thighs, which side note , were very impressive .</p>
<p>'I am really Kim Namjoon, Well Namjoon Kim to the western world, and I am like you, just trying to find myself out here' He said as I listened , and silently not overly realising I was falling more into his accent and facial features.</p>
<p>He had an odd accent, half Korean sounding so I'm guessing he was born there , and half Americanism sounding, as if he had learned it all from TV and movies and had used the catchphrases like they were going out of fashion.</p>
<p>'I am 26 but I wont rub that in too much Noona' He said , which rose a small smirk from me and resulted in me slightly shaking my head to rid myself of his victory of getting that rise.</p>
<p>'and as for much else, there really isn't much to tell, I don't have a lot of roots, at least none that Id want the world to know about ...' He trailed off .</p>
<p>' Ok your turn again Kat' He said. </p>
<p>'Truth' I said, as I didnt have the strength to even think of what his mind would have in mind for a dare and it was still too hot , so hot that the sand seemed to emit a dust of sorts and you could feel it in the heated air .</p>
<p>'Who are you ...really' He said .</p>
<p>He was meeting my questions with the same questions, and I don't know now why I didnt stop him looking back , why didnt I stop it there , The pain would have been a lot less.  </p>
<p>He could see I half didnt want to answer it and would look out towards the still black sea mirroring the night sky as if to try and erase it.</p>
<p>He slid slightly more down the rock , so he was sitting lower than I was , maybe so I didnt see him as a threat , or maybe his ample ass was just uncomfortable, but he just sat and listened awaiting for a response.</p>
<p>I sighed and decided to just answer, I had nothing to lose, well at least at this point in the story I didnt.</p>
<p>'Yes I'm Katalina, Born in Taranto Italy but we moved to the UK when I was about 5 or 6 , I was too little to remember the full in's and outs , but that is the explanation for my accent, I couldn't speak English properly until I was about 9 , and we just moved around London trying to fit in and I spent most of my life there until ...until I was about 24 and I've been on the move ever since' I finished with a long breath .</p>
<p>'I'm sensing some regret ' He said softly.</p>
<p>'No , no regret, just the thought of bad blood and bad times that I'd rather forget' I said in a matching softness.</p>
<p>'Its ok I wont pry' he said trying to scotch back up the rock a little .</p>
<p>'Its ok' I said . ' It gave me the life I have now and well when you've got less to lose you don't fear losing anything as much' I said. </p>
<p>' Sounds harsh' He replied.</p>
<p>'Life is hard , winter just keeps rolling on for some people' I said.</p>
<p>'Life goes on if you let it ' He said .</p>
<p>I chuckled softly at him, 'Did you read that off a beer mat Joon'</p>
<p>He looked puzzled , maybe beer mats where something in the UK and it didnt translate well.</p>
<p>'So its just you, and you live here, at least for now ' He said knowing full well he was under my skin as intended and that I had digressed more than the initial truth.</p>
<p>'yes I have a small studio apartment, just me and the occasional visitor Yoongi ' I replied not half realising he has no idea who Yoongi was.</p>
<p>' Lodger .....boyfriend .....' he said questioning my response .</p>
<p>'Smooth Joon Smooth....No Yoongi is a Cat, he just sort of showed up one day and despite my protests and various attempts to stop him breaking in' I said.</p>
<p>'He always seems to find his way in my house, but its all ok, company that doesn't answer you back.....well at least in a language you can understand is actually somewhat mildly comforting' I said and tried to gesture with my hands about how Yoongi would walk into my apartment like a miniature master of the universe.</p>
<p>'He sounds like fun' Joon responded half laughing at such a cock sure Cat, as if the creature would get on well with him' </p>
<p>'Oh yes , the little shit , you cant stay mad at...and well he is so adamant sometimes, trust me ...what Yoongi wants he gets' I said taking another swig of my now almost empty beer bottle. </p>
<p>'Oh great , I'm now sounding like a crazy cat lady, further compounding that 34 can sound old sometimes' I laughed and made half an attempt to stand up.</p>
<p>Joon moved in motion too, his white t-shirt had rippled upwards when he lowered himself down to sit closer , but now had glided back down ,but not before my eyes had inadvertently snuck a peak as his pleasure trail and slight abs.</p>
<p>'You leaving Kat' He said in a lower tone that he had previously been speaking, as if this was now really his natural tone.</p>
<p>'Yes .....don't get me wrong this has been mildly fun and maybe that's the beer talking' I said.</p>
<p>'But' He responded.</p>
<p>'Daytime is coming and well I only look this good at night' I said.</p>
<p>We had both stood up at this point and whilst we were both sort of sinking in our own way in the crisp sand , I couldn't help but again see his neck, with the moonlight bouncing off the tattoo and jagged scar I had first spotted during that fateful rain storm, that in this moment was looking like it was covered in a silver tinged frost when the moonlight hit his sweat and glided over his Adams apple.</p>
<p>'One last truth the Joon...What are those'  I Said , mildly pointing to show him what I meant.</p>
<p>He placed his long fingers gently on the spot with a barely noticeable amount of emotional pain in his eyes, but I noticed and it for some reason hit a part of my heart like I understood. The swear parted ways and lightly trickled around and in between his fingers.</p>
<p>'Well' He Said, 'The tattoo is Hangul , it is the Korean word for Bulletproof , and well my life , It sort of is a motto, a meaning carved from the past' He said with a mild sense of contentment in his voice.</p>
<p>'And the scar, I guess we all have regrets Pussy Kat' he said with a slight sadness that for a moment made my breath stop. </p>
<p>I don't know why but I understood it and didnt press it anymore ,and how and where and whether it was self inflicted was ground I shouldn't tread right now.</p>
<p>We both stood in relative closeness with breath matching one another , and the silence was almost growing awkward.</p>
<p>' Well Joon, I need to lock up , but thank you, and yes that's without sarcasm, You took my mind of this sucker of a night for a moment'. I replied with a hint of gratitude in my tone.</p>
<p>' Well I shall bid you good night and here's hoping the game continues ' He said with a small half bow before he walked across the sand and out of my eyeline.</p>
<p>I had to fit the lock to the shutter to secure the bar and turn off the lights before following the steps I knew from memory to get home. But my eye caught the cash that was wedged by the lock, and I knew it was Joon keeping his word.</p>
<p>I gave a chuckle to myself and placed it into my pocket as the lockup process was far too advanced now for me to put it into the till, but underneath was a cell phone number scrawled in blue ink, with words  'Ill leave it to you Kitty. J' scrawled across it .</p>
<p>It took me back a bit , I mean this isn't the first time a person had left their number, but my intrigue in him grew, so I couldn't bring myself to give my trademark scoff at such a statement.</p>
<p>So I just placed it into my bag, to be a decision for another day, and I turned off the lights which fizzled out and I traced my footsteps home where my little furry friend was no doubt waiting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5- Digits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>She makes a move and begins to think that she shouldn't have.<br/>This is the point it will start to get a little deeper, I just needed to pad out the characters a little before getting into the darker side of things.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The water ran over my face , washing away the acrid sand dust enveloping my face and every crease of my body.</p>
<p>The shower wasn't especially powerful , sometimes choosing to alternate between the blistering hot and the spine chilling cold, but luckily today the cold sufficed and did the job of cooling my frame down before I had melted all over my apartment furniture.</p>
<p>A couple of hours had passed since Joon had left my side at the beach, and the cell phone number was placed on the bistro bar to be dealt with later, and I hoping since I've been in the shower that Yoongi hasn't taken and hidden it , or even worse eaten the sodding thing.......as that surely wont survive the transit and god forbid should I ever bump into Joon again, explaining a cats asshole dynamics would be a little too far even for us.</p>
<p>Wrapping a purple towel around me I left the shower drying almost instantly in the heat that remained all around , and I knew as I raised my chin towards the ceiling and spilling a few obscenities that the air con had stopped half way through.</p>
<p>The root cause was again the fluctuating electric , and after drying myself off and putting on as little clothing as possible, I laid down on my bed trying to find a cold spot but it was no good , that place just didnt exist.</p>
<p>Yoongi , didnt seemed bothered despite having black fur and being an equivalent of a walking carpet, he came and sat by my head and had an bit of an existential crisis on deciding whether to lick himself or my wet hair. absolute fucking weirdo I swear that cat.</p>
<p>The refrigerator wasn't humming which only made me sigh more , so upon rising from my bed and lighting a candle or two on the side table so I could navigate the remaining darkness as the sun had only barely crested the horizon, I went to the fridge to see if there was any bottled water , as right now my mouth felt like something had shat in it and the heat was only expected to build.</p>
<p>I was in luck, my lucky ass had bought water and filling a small dish for Yoongi , I returned to my bed and tried in vain to gulp it down whilst laying down and not lose too much down my chin.</p>
<p>I just laid blankly for a while , and Joon's note kept creeping into my head, and soon I was having an existential crisis much like Yoongi had over my hair earlier .</p>
<p>' Fuck sake Kat' I said , getting up clumsily and I went and grabbed the paper and sat back down onto the bed, with the fluffy mastermind aka Yoongi sitting next to me with that look on his face like he already knew that I was going to do it.</p>
<p>I showed him the paper , and he looked as stoical as usual, and shaking myself I took my cell phone out of my bag , checked the battery power, and read a few emails quickly and then made the next big choice with Joon.</p>
<p>I typed the numbers in , without a clue as to what I was actually going to say, I mean the dude just left it there on top of the money and well he drank a lot and was probably either asleep, getting fucked royally by someone , or drunk somewhere else and chasing crabs along the beach. something told me nothing was off limits with him. Part dork , Part Mysterious and Part troubling and I couldn't work out which part intrigued me more .</p>
<p>MESSAGES &gt;COMPOSE NEW&gt; NAMJOON</p>
<p>I sat blankly for a moment , ok how do I start this ...how ....ok lets play the freak at his own game.</p>
<p>5.14am:Kat: </p>
<p>'Meow '</p>
<p>hit send.</p>
<p>Wow Kat really, you hate your own name for a reason and that's what you send. I even had half a mind to show Yoongi , in case he understood the humour and my attempt to communicate in his language.</p>
<p>It may have been a moment or could have been several but my phone lit up and shook in my tired hands.</p>
<p>5.26am</p>
<p>Namjoon: well the cat found the cream I'm guessing and I don't mean Yoongi.</p>
<p>5.27am</p>
<p>Kat: He doesn't want to answer , he doesn't know you well enough yet.</p>
<p>5.27am</p>
<p>Namjoon: Well isn't he rude , I'm surely his elder.</p>
<p>5.28am</p>
<p>Kat: well I found your number, what did you want.</p>
<p>5.28am</p>
<p>Namjoon: more games maybe , without the sand , and maybe with more alcohol</p>
<p>5.29am</p>
<p>Kat: that was enough games for me , seriously Joon what was the reason.</p>
<p>I mean come on Kat snap out of it, you are tired as fuck, put the phone down, stop texting this dork and go to sleep , or you are going to regret this, I thought to myself.</p>
<p>5.31am: </p>
<p>Namjoon: Didnt know I needed one .</p>
<p> I tensed up with gritted teeth from me trying to convince me that I should again put down the phone.</p>
<p>5.32am</p>
<p>Kat : well its early , I need to sleep, and I guess I wont get a straight answer,grrrrrr</p>
<p>5.33am</p>
<p>Namjoon: Baby watch your mouth, it comes back around ;)</p>
<p>5.34am</p>
<p>Kat: What ...you make no sense ...good night.</p>
<p>5.34am</p>
<p>Namjoon: A straight answer, well that takes longer than a message. So next time its on my terms Kitty. Club Dark Hope do you know it.</p>
<p>5.35am</p>
<p>Kat: that shady place ...</p>
<p>5.36am:</p>
<p>Namjoon: that depends entirely on perspective Kat</p>
<p>5.36am</p>
<p>Kat: Stop distracting me I need to sleep.</p>
<p>5.37am</p>
<p>Namjoon: Then put the phone down Kat.</p>
<p>I knew at that moment he must be grinning like a fucking cat to himself and his dimples going larger by the second, Yes ...I had noticed an illegal quality to them in the times before this.</p>
<p>5.38am:</p>
<p>Namjoon: Either there or Jacksons bar just down the road from your bar. Our next game can start there. Goodnight pussy ;)</p>
<p>'Asshole' I said in a soundless manner and then looked down to see an attachment had been sent to and I opened it .</p>
<p>A winking , slightly parted lips and obviously shirtless low light photo greeted me and arose a gasp from me.</p>
<p>I shut the phone down and threw it into the washing by the bed , what the hell was he doing to me and why was I letting it happen.</p>
<p>Getting more and more frustrated with myself , I laid down and slipped into the darkness of sleep eventually with Yoongi matching my breath curled by my side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 6- Dark Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>things start to get heated and down the rabbit hole they both go.<br/> A Roll of the dice .</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>and so things get underway and the heat starts to rise.</p>
<p>TRIGGER WARNING: light recreational drug use described.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It must have been a week or so of pointless texts, some unanswered, before I couldn't take my curiosity howling at me at the end of each night, and I knew in order to get the voices in my head to shut up I needed to see this through and figure out why on earth he was crawling deeper into me.</p>
<p>I wasn't looking for anything , I was content on my own, I didnt like tethers , they were burdensome and they didnt suit me , and hell even Yoongi came and went as he pleased, and I'm guessing its one of the reasons he and I just clicked and he became the lodger I never knew I wanted.</p>
<p>Pulling out my phone for the umpteenth time , I followed the same ritual and half hoping not to get and answer so I could just cut this thing off right now </p>
<p>11.01pm </p>
<p>Kat: Dark Hope, why and When .K</p>
<p>I put the phone down on the bistro bar face down so if it went off I could ignore it and say I didnt see anything , I took the newspaper that had been delivered that morning and after wiping some spilt soy sauce off the top left hand corner I went and sat down by my door which was slightly ajar to let some air in and read to pass the time.</p>
<p>It was the only paper in English dealing with this part of the world, and I guess my not wanting a connection still meant I could check up on things around me.</p>
<p>Random advert filled the bottom of the page but the headline was becoming all to common.</p>
<p>'Violence on the increase , New Gang Suspected ' It read in Bold .</p>
<p>Gangs weren't uncommon here ,and I guess they aren't uncommon anymore anywhere, just the way of the world, The good living alongside the bad and sometimes no more than a street , postcode or zip code separating them. It didnt bother me , I don't stay in one place to long and the people I know do the same in my life ,many stay acquaintances online but that's the safer space, we can all stay in contact even when we haven't dropped anchors anywhere.</p>
<p>I would normally be at the bar this time of the night but the owner had closed it for two weeks after the local safety board said he needed to get the electrics properly checked so he could keep his licence. So me and the other staff where on paid leave, which I guess I couldn't complain about , It could be worse and it gave me time to just float around and let the smell of beer leave my clothes.</p>
<p>I finished reading and had just closed my eyes for second when the phone buzzed and jittered around the counter, I half expected Yoongi to shit himself but he wasn't here tonight.</p>
<p>I figure my way up from the floor and went to the counter to retrieve the buzzing torture device.</p>
<p>11.11pm</p>
<p>Namjoon: Player 1 enters the Game at midnight . it read.</p>
<p>I roll my eyes like it is an Olympic sport and think to myself that I should ignore him but ok , you want to play dear boy , just so I can get you out my head, fucking game on freak.</p>
<p>I didnt text back, instead I went to the heap by my bed to figure out something to wear and like I said I wasn't looking for anything , This wasn't a booty call, this was me trying to win this argument that wasn't actually an argument , at least not in Joon's head.</p>
<p>Pulling on some leather effect leggings and a matching Black bra style top and throwing my hair up into a messy bun, I went to the bathroom to apply the war paint.</p>
<p>I was 34 after all and wanted to conceal that fact , even though I didnt look it , but still I wanted to look like I could kick someone's ass if it came to it , and sometimes in the past in various other places in the world it had.</p>
<p>Before I knew it , it was approaching midnight and to beat this fucker this new game , a timely entrance was called for, so pulling on my battered steel heeled new rock boots making me instantly 5ft 8ins, I made my way to this Club Dark Hope .</p>
<p>................................................................................................................................................................</p>
<p>It was tucked away in the distant end of the street I worked on , a street that seemed to go on forever and it did have a reputation, it was a place that for sure had great music of all genres, but it was also a well known pass through for every type of person here. </p>
<p>Experimental drugs were often passed around but only to those consenting and well my years previous had been steeped in hedonism and I had dabbled with just about everything that you could swallow, my limit was anything you inject......too dirty for words if you ask me and I didnt want to ever venture down that road.</p>
<p>The lighting was dark , and the whole place smelled like a million different incense sticks burning at once and the liquors smell mixed in with that , The lights flickered around illuminating the corners momentarily.</p>
<p>'1 please ' I half yelled at the owner who always admitted a set amount of people a night .</p>
<p>' just the one , no many girls come here alone' Said the slightly surprised owner.</p>
<p>' And' I said  being as naturally defensive as ever.</p>
<p>'I'm guessing a first timer , You don't look familiar ' he said trying to stir a conversation.</p>
<p>I stared with raised eyebrows at him and half huffed and sneered at him.</p>
<p>'Oh my Heart, my Heartu' he said and over dramatically grasped his heart only making me roll my eyes more.</p>
<p>'Ok , Ok , lets start differently shall we , My name is Hobi, Newest owner of this place' He said extending his hand.</p>
<p>'Hobi, is it, Unless there is a ticket in that hand I am not touching that thing' I said as flat toned as I could, holding out a few notes and coins.</p>
<p>'Wow , Yes you can come in, I've got a feeling about you , just watch out for the ones in the shadows in here ' He said and stamped my hand in place of a ticket .</p>
<p>'Bar?' I said short sharp and to the point after looking at the stamp momentarily.</p>
<p>Hobi gestured towards the left of the dancefloor to the bar and I just walked past him just keen to get this night over and done with and again beat Joon at this game he is so intent on playing.</p>
<p>Vodka on the rocks was to be the pleasure of the evening, it was neat and quick and to the point and did the job, I wasn't. one for fancy cocktails , the flare didnt appeal to me. I just knocked a few back trying to pass the time while a whole plethora of people and genres of music filled the place behind me.</p>
<p>I had just about decided in my own mind to abandon the bastard before he ever turned up when that scent of him lingered across the bar and he was standing about 8ft away from me leaned across the bar head resting on his hand with again that cocky grin , that made me want to punch his nuts , stretched across his face .</p>
<p>'Straight , I like it ' He said .</p>
<p>'Never said I was straight sweetie' I said through semi venomous lips, and chucked the rest of the vodka and half an ice cube down my throat with one action.</p>
<p>'Not that I needed to know but labels are just restrictive, trust me fluidity is much more fun' he said with the smile growing.</p>
<p>Well from the sounds of things, we finally seemed to have something in common , we may have both seen about as much as cock and fanny as the other, and that didnt matter. There was a distinct line between fucking, sex, making love and the such, and lust , passion, love and undying devotion.</p>
<p>I tended to stay at the use them and lose them end of the scale and not caring what genitalia they had or how they chose to identify, It never bothered me , and rightly so it shouldn't, some things about a person you cannot change and should never try.</p>
<p>' Don't worry Kitty Kat I don't care which way you choose to stroke things' he said getting ever closer.</p>
<p>'So you call this a game Joon, got to say I thought the dice would be a little more interesting...…' I said as I began to walk off only to be stopped by Joon appearing at my side ready to whisper in my ear that was now closer to him because of the boots I always coveted on a night like this .</p>
<p>'You haven't seen where I keep them ' He smirked trying to get his breathe to glide down my neck.</p>
<p>'So show me' I said , indicating I was growing bored of his conversation.</p>
<p>and as I began to leave, behind me, I heard him say to the nakedness of my back...</p>
<p> 'I'll Show you' and I could almost feel his smirk and eyes burning between my shoulder blades .</p>
<p>................................................................................................................................................................</p>
<p>I danced with him watching from the side , I didnt care that I was dancing alone, the vodka was heating me up and making me not care that I was dancing alone.</p>
<p>The patrons around where in their own worlds , drinking , using their own highs and being in their own world , surrounded by the enveloping smells that swirled all around.</p>
<p>I didnt notice many tunes , but I just followed the beat, swaying my hips and breasts in a way that made me move and I didnt care if it full on looked like I wanted to fuck myself stupid.</p>
<p>My body was curvy , a size 12 by UK standards ,as that the size chart I grew up with , but I worked long and hard on not caring what others thought of my frame after many jeers and punches from girls in my youth who didnt agree with my sentiment.</p>
<p>I didnt know why Joon was just watching and several songs on it didnt care, Until the music stopped suddenly and the lights dipped because that ever reliable electrical blackouts seemed to stretch to this location too.</p>
<p>A murmur of the crowd in the darkness was interrupted by the lights and music coming back on and Joon like a serpent had found his way in front of me and was trying to mirror my gaze .</p>
<p>Jumping slightly I just curled my mouth and turned around from him, which I guess made matters worse.</p>
<p>He moved in closer to me , so much so I could feel the heat of his sweat through his grey denim shirt that was unbuttoned down, and almost made a connection to his groin.</p>
<p>'Do you trust me' he said pouring a velvet whisper into my ear that I shouldn't have been able to hear above the din of the background.</p>
<p>'Should I' I mused </p>
<p>'Let me show you Kitty ' he said trying to almost mould his expression to my face.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the vodka , but the eyes glaring down on me , made me incapable of saying no , they penetrated everywhere , right down into my stomach , trying to make a beeline for my vagina. I guess id abandoned anything of who I thought I was at that point, it was the tipping point , the craving to know more that took me over.</p>
<p>'Show me ' I said trying to match his height.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth to reveal what looked like piece of paper candy quickly dissipating on his long tongue.</p>
<p>'Open wide Kat ' he said raising a finger to my mouth to ensure he gained my consent to join him in whatever this obvious chemical high was.</p>
<p>Opening my mouth I took the paper from his finger and smirked as if to say game on, and with that the world changed , I felt this warmth creep over me and it was if I could see the music notes flying through the air and I danced , and danced and was sure the same song was just playing over and over. The music pulsed and I had absorbed the atmosphere around me , and this was just building.</p>
<p>I feel hands on my hips guiding me like they where the handles of a smoothly ridden motorcycle.</p>
<p>Joon was steering this ride, his hands both delicate and dominating all the same , they just pulled me closer to him, his sweat seeping through the shirt onto my back and swimming together.</p>
<p>Shit , I could feel him everywhere , His pulse racing in syncope with mine as I moaned and leaned back into him, not caring that it half looked like I was giving him a lap dance.</p>
<p>He couldn't keep his hands still, they glided with ease over my stomach, my arse, grazing my fanny ever so slightly, moving up towards my breasts which at this point felt like they were growing by the second.</p>
<p>He was moaning , I could hear it, I could feel it , his legs half snapped around mine to stop his legs giving way, he just viced into me , he was trying to drink me in, he was gasping for me to turn around, and a half erection trying to break free from his leather pants and me half laughing to myself that maybe the condoms I found in his wallet that time I looked really weren't a lie.</p>
<p>He couldn't make a word without a guttural groan trying to escape and with abandonment I spun around , I needed to drink those eyes and snake my way further into him, as whatever this high was, it was chasing me as much as I was chasing it.</p>
<p>He looked ready to drop, his skin glowing with sweat, and I stepped into the next level , I snaked my hands towards his face and with heated breath mouthed 'My turn'.</p>
<p>He pulled me into him, swimming with his mouth and tongue into mine , drinking everything he could , he was breathing heavily and grasping my hair at this point , he wanted to fucking kill me and eat every last centimetre of me and in the depths of this high I would have let him.</p>
<p>He moaned and moaned again and I matched tone , feeling the electricity of his serpents tongue enticing me with every movement.</p>
<p>He had somehow made his hands reach into the front of my very tight leather look leggings and was trying to trace my clit through the darkness , I didnt want to stop him and I could just feel the ground opening up and was ready to swallow us both.</p>
<p>People around us didnt matter , I couldn't see them and I was drunk on Joon and his presence everywhere.</p>
<p>'Say it' he muttered in a half intoxicating tone ,'Say it Kat'.</p>
<p>'What' I rasped .</p>
<p>'I Win' He growled into my mouth and looking like he was not longer under the power of anything.</p>
<p>'Huh ...Wait what' I said as I stepped back and felt a similar feeling creep over me and staring him bang in the eye.</p>
<p>'Told you my dice could be super interesting' he smirked at me with me not sure of how to take it.</p>
<p>'  FUCKING BASTARD' I yelled at him.</p>
<p>I had to get out of there, What even was this, what was I DOING!!, what was I letting him do, and why did I want him to keep doing it. I didnt want to let anyone control me , I didnt want to feel. At least I didnt think I did .</p>
<p>I had to get home, this cant be happening . Kat im going to kill you, I yelled into my mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 7-Down the Rabbit Hole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>and in enters Jin and a confused Kat trying to still process what had happened and what it means</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had of course tried to message me in various patterns over the days and nights that followed, I just didnt know how to answer.</p>
<p>I had him go further than I had normally allowed anyone, and to allow him to mix a high with me , I normally only make that decision when I am alone....I mean what even was that and what took over me besides the drug, and why did it fade so quickly and leave me practically fully coherent without the come down hangover I had been so used to.</p>
<p>I had allowed him to engulf me , he was literally on fire under my skin and he was growing closer with him fingers penetrating my pants when I did nothing to stop him.</p>
<p>I mean what the hell Kat, what the actual fucking cod walloping hell are doing!!....you have fucked and used plenty of people whilst you travelled , Hell you could own stocks and shares in a condom company the rate you had  gone at some points .  Why was this guy, this Namtitted freak any different. Why was he becoming addictive in my brain.</p>
<p>Was I a game truly, was I a high he was chasing , was I something else....what was I feeling !?!?!</p>
<p> At this point I had given myself a headache and had hit ignore on my phone more times than my now sore digits could remember, but it was putting of the inevitable, as he knew where I worked and the bar was going to be closed a little longer than expected as more issues had been found which delayed the reopening.</p>
<p>I had put off leaving the apartment other than to sit outside on the patio to the back that was on a balcony overlooking other houses.</p>
<p>Yoongi was of course lording his presence again and stretched out on the couch and no doubt want feeding and I had put off the inevitable restock of my pantry and refrigerator and as EATJINS was close and it actually was good value for money, I decided to do the restock there and completely forgetting Joon had been in there the last time.</p>
<p>I pulled myself together and made my way , half dragging my feet towards the shop of all trades that was EATJIN, and all the time daydreaming and swirling my tongue unconsciously in my mouth being to preoccupied with the memory of Joon's tongue and Kiss.</p>
<p>I made it to EATJIN and again wrestled with the door and its menacing hinges and made my way inside and went to grab the essentials and take my pick of the meats which now had carcasses of various animals hung in a newly constructed butcher type area. </p>
<p>I mean this guy Seokjin , was really trying to cram everything in this place ,and I guess he was kind of succeeding as it smelt a lot better and the smells on offering smelled appetising so I made the decision to stop and eat as I was tired, and I don't know I just needed something else to fill my mind other than that Fucking Bastard Namjoon.</p>
<p>After a while and an order placed with a waiter/butcher/shop hand I sat and eat my Fish bun and Noodles and wow...actually really good, which I wasn't expecting.</p>
<p>The shop of all trades had emptied somewhat and I was half way through the copious amounts of noodles when Seokjin sat down opposite me and starting talking.</p>
<p>'Aishh ...people...come and they go' Said Seokjin Half out of breathe and semi whining .</p>
<p>I just looked up with the white noodles hanging out my mouth and have a 'Huh' and then realising what I looked like, sucked the noodles in a little fast and coughed as they slapped the back of my throat.</p>
<p>'Pardon ....Sorry' I said half bemused at him.</p>
<p>'People always in and out of here' He said </p>
<p>'Isn't that the point...I mean ....yeah' I said  and wondered why he was asking such a weird question.</p>
<p>'I mean anyone would think this is a shop that needs money' He said slapping the table and then laughing with the voice which I can only describe as a seal choking on a sea shell mixed with some rapidly cleaning a glass counter top, and I ain't gonna lie it felt like someone had punched me in the ear !.</p>
<p>I half laughed back as if to gesture 'what the fuck' was that noise ?</p>
<p>'I'm Seokjin ' He said passing me his hand, 'You may call me Jin' still holding his long elegant fingers at me with a bashful innocence in his eyes.</p>
<p>I shook the end of his fingers and replied 'Katalina......and Jin...no honorifics ?'</p>
<p>'Nope , not needed here, either way I'm still Jin and we aren't in Korea, ' he said half chuckling.</p>
<p>I smiled back, his eyes were sweet and he was gorgeous, I mean very striking and handsome and surely could have done anything with those looks rather than a shop in the arse end of this town.</p>
<p>'So how are the noodles Katalinana' He said purposefully mispronouncing my name.</p>
<p>'Hmm yeah good ' I said and I actually meant it , they were actually really good.</p>
<p>'My own recipe' He said pointing at himself as if I didnt already know who he was.'</p>
<p>'First time I perfected that recipe I just sat there emotional and wailing until someone came in to check on me' He said and continued.</p>
<p>'They are so good and well whilst I cant have a cooking show I thought Id try my hand at the restaurant trade and well here I am' He said .</p>
<p>I had finished scoffing the noodles and sat back to keep this conversation with this Jin, who actually didnt seem like he wanted anything other than to speak and someone to laugh at his jokes, which so far were not funny at all.</p>
<p>'So Jin, this is your place , been here long' I said to lead the conversation.</p>
<p>'Oh yes a while, its an interesting place here , you see a little of everything and everyone and well everyone is interesting' He said whilst half turned toward the exit to look out his own windows to see people going by.</p>
<p>'Hmm yeah interesting' I said grabbing my bubble tea I'd ordered.</p>
<p>'You say that like you know too' He said </p>
<p>'Like know what' I said , to knock back his question.</p>
<p>'you work with people to that come and go' He posed.</p>
<p>'Yes I do, I work at BANGS , that little rickety bar on the beach' I said and gestured with my finger in the general direction and exhaled.</p>
<p>'Oh that bar , yes I know what you mean, I think I once walked past that place and saw the owner enjoying his own alcohol and his barman hitting him whilst he was wearing an Ironman helmet...he seemed ...interesting' Jin answered .</p>
<p>'Yeah that's the guy' I laughed as I can imagine him doing that.</p>
<p>'You seem a little distracted Katalina' Jin said turning back round to me and looking into my tired eyes with his caring dark chocolate eyes.</p>
<p>'Huh..yeah sorry, a lot on my mind I guess , Bar is closed and too much time with my own thoughts' I replied and cracked my own neck to relieve tension I was carrying after the episode with Namjoon, in the days earlier .</p>
<p>'Someone , I'm guessing ...you aren't the first to look like this in here' He said easing closer and trying to sooth me ,and again I genuinely didnt feel like he was lying or after something. He was just someone in the service trade who wanted to connect with someone else.</p>
<p>'Yeah someone 'I said, trying not to look him in the eyes.</p>
<p>'Man, women, animal or vegetable' He said half trying to start another dad joke.</p>
<p>'Man....yep man....' I said not wanting to let the bastard in my thoughts leak out of mouth.'</p>
<p>'Local?' Jin said </p>
<p>'As Local as me I guess but Korean....and well eyes ' I said rolling my eyes .</p>
<p>'Eyes ?.....Korean? 'He said </p>
<p>'Yeah his tall cocky self was in here the other day and he spoke to you.....' I said. </p>
<p>'Namjoon' I said shaking my head with instant regret when his name had slipped out of my mouth.</p>
<p>Jin sat up and his eyes half frowned as if he knew something I didnt , or didnt want to say, or maybe who knows he may have fallen under those alluring eyes with his own...I mean why are all these guys I'm seeing around here so fucking gorgeous !</p>
<p>'everything ok ' I said a little surprised at his reaction'</p>
<p>A buzzer on the countertop went off that sounded like a door bell for a back entrance.</p>
<p>'well that's my cue Katalina, Nice.......meeting you....yes ....come eat again.....Miss' he said after being slightly startled by the bell and he shuffled off into the back.</p>
<p>What was that all about........ what is with this Namjoon.</p>
<p>AHHHHHHHH Bastard get out of my head !!.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 8- Without Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat and Namjoon, the mood changes, and it makes both admit things about each other.</p>
<p>Namjoon now says Jagi for the first time to his newest intrigue <br/>(Jagi is Korean for Baby, Darling, Honey)</p>
<p>WARNING -- from this point onwards things get more explicit and myself as an author I place big importance on the emphasis of consent in chapters and works like this as it is the most important part to me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bar was finally reopened after about 3 and half weeks of closure and for once in a long time it was clean and shiny and finally the beer pumps did what they were supposed to.</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong BANGS was still an absolute dive and was known for cheap drinks and loose morals and an ever changing staff line up, but I was keen to get back to work, and fill my mind with anything over than the Ego of Namjoon that was invading both my mind and my phone and for some reason I couldn't bring myself to delete his number as he would only find another way,</p>
<p>The night of reopening was busy but I didnt take time to learn the faces , I just heard the orders and dished out the alcohol and watched the money slide over my palm. I was engulfed with the empty glasses at the end of the bar and it kept me busy and that's what I needed to be , and for once I was thankful to still have a job.</p>
<p>Hour drew into hour until closing came and again the shutters weren't replaced they were as old and rickety as ever , but I just wanted to get home, get undressed, find my own abyss with a beer and sleep into the next day on the calendar.</p>
<p>Lights off, Keys being placed in bag, bag to the steps that led up to the street, when a shocking sensation of cold slithered down my spine and took the breath from my lungs but froze my feet to the spot .</p>
<p>'Not so pleased to see me this time' a voice echoed into my ears, and I knew instantly that this was it , He was trying again.</p>
<p>I swiftly took my bundle of keys out of my bags and arched my arm back , hitting Namjoon square in the nuts , and hearing the air escape him in shock.</p>
<p>'Sorry. Oh Sorry......did that hurt little bastard' I said in a mocking tone.</p>
<p>Namjoon was breathing deep and trying to stand upright and act like his testicles weren't trying to kill him at this very moment.</p>
<p>' I was just trying to break the Ice ,Jagi' he smirked.</p>
<p>I just snorted in disgust and signalled him to move as I wasn't interested in playing these games anymore and I want to get home.</p>
<p>'I saw the ice in one of the glasses and after last time I saw you , I knew you could do with some cooling down' He said arrogantly.</p>
<p>I knew instantly that he had placed ice down my back just to get one up on me once again.</p>
<p>'Oh Fuck Off Namjoon, I don't have time for this....Yes you got a little action , well done ' I said , finishing with a mocking slow paced clap.</p>
<p>'And you didnt .......... Hell girl you kissed me ' he replied with his rising arrogance.</p>
<p>'You've never done a high before have you 'I said in a childish tone.</p>
<p>'Oh Kat how wrong you are..........' He replied half showing his growing ego in his facial expressions.</p>
<p>His smirk always got to me , he seemed to want to win and control every situation he was in, and as much as I hated him and wanted to take aim at his bollocks again ,I kept being drawn in by those eyes that seemed to get everything they wanted.</p>
<p>'It was a new high , its called HAZE' he said.</p>
<p>'Never heard of it , and well it was over quick....hmmm I've known a lot of people just ...like...that ... ' I responded.</p>
<p>I started to walk away from him trying to find another way off the beach so I could just go home and away from this walking dickhead, but Joon matched step with me and managed to snake around me and take the keys I had been swinging at my side.</p>
<p>'Fucking Hell Joon, ENOUGH GAMES' I yelled at him, wanting so much to wipe the smug look off his face with a wipe of a palm.</p>
<p>'You know kitty , the wonderful thing about HAZE , it doesn't make you do anything you don't already have in your mind' He said placing the keys in his back pocket of his loosely fitting dark grey Jeans.</p>
<p>' I swear to fucking Namjesus Joon if you don't give me those keys back ' I snarled at him, trying to match his height despite being over half a foot shorter , I just sunk mercilessly into the sand as my heels couldn't walk in it past the cladding of the front of the bar. </p>
<p>'But that's not the real riddle in all of this , is it Kat?, its more the fact my theory was right....even if that was never my original intention ' He said walking tentatively backwards knowing I was struggling to stay upright but not loose any ground with him.</p>
<p>'What the fuck....are you.....on about , you need to royally get over yourself Captain Cockjob!!' I huffed at him, trying to ignore his eyes which seemed to guide me to be weaker than I wanted to be.</p>
<p>'Admit it Kat' he asked.</p>
<p>'Fucking admit what ....WHAT' I yelled trying not to lose my voice in frustration.</p>
<p>'You liked it and you liked me , and you wanted me even without my help' He said stopping dead in front of me and breathing down his nose and it gracing my angry face now inches below him.</p>
<p>' Get...over ...yourself' I whispered to him , with lip partially trembling .</p>
<p>'That's not an answer Katalina and I didnt know myself that Id ever ask you this question' he matched with whisper.</p>
<p>'Don't worry, I didnt expect it either, I was expecting to be so intrigued by a little Kitty , and much less did I think id get you to meow right into me and that itself is a puzzling question Jagi ' He said almost grazing my face with his .</p>
<p>I took my chance and grabbed my keys and tried to stagger to the street, Joon just stood there before following me in pursuit, no doubt his eye where mapping out an answer to his own riddles.</p>
<p>I tried to increase my pace to get home and not overly caring or watching where I was going, and that bastards voice going around and around in my tired brain wasn't helping.</p>
<p>I heard his leather hard soled boots smacking the floor behind me, matching my pace and catching me up after a few minutes, as two of his steps surpassed one of mine.</p>
<p>'Save me' I mouthed to the sky as I crossed a street not realising I was going the wrong way around away from my house and just trying to get my angry ass away from Namjoon in any method I could.</p>
<p>He dodged the traffic that had somehow missed me in all my irrelevance crossing the road.</p>
<p>I realised I had gone the wrong way and was stuck in an alley way, which I knew would get me there but had doubled the journey and by this point I was too out of breath to continue, Home seemed like it was in another town right now but it was just a stones throw in reality that was moving about in this evenings reality.</p>
<p>Joon in virtually no time at all appeared again behind me , his soul seemed to be teleporting to meet me each time.</p>
<p>'You cant admit it can you' He poured into my ear.</p>
<p>'...what....' I gasped still trying to catch my breath and swallow the dry area now forming in my mouth and throat as it was taken away by the night air.</p>
<p>' I don't want to chase you anymore , I want to know the truth without having to help ease it out ' He said.</p>
<p>Moving me around to his front and I could feel his pulse through the air of the night , it made his chest slightly twitch like a homing beacon that became impossible for me to ignore, His shirt was barely there anymore, it had no collar to it and was sliding down his neck and shoulders as his sweat slicked its pathway.</p>
<p> I couldn't keep up the rouse , it was fucking exhausting and I just wanted my brain to stop , I wanted to have peace. I didnt want anything or did I , I had seen a million people of all genders come through the bar and none of them had done this to me. </p>
<p>Why Why ....WHY!! .....and the following moments would mean I could never turn back.</p>
<p>'Jagi ...say it or Ill show you' he said in a tone so silent only we could hear it but so domineering it melted the coldness I wanted to emit in response but I knew I never could.</p>
<p>Well here lies Katalina, I cant fight anymore , I couldn't help but through myself into the deep end of those eyes that followed every curve of me when I didnt even know they were there.  </p>
<p>Suddenly there is me letting go and being without hesitation for the first time since we met, I uttered with a slight longing ' So show me' and my mind dove of its last stand point on the cliff edge in my mind, there was no turning back. </p>
<p>He didnt need any further permission, he wrapped his arms around me and hoisted me high onto his hips and stumbled with the imbalance of weight back into the wet wall behind me, he wanted me as far into the brick work as he could , so he could ravage and quench his thirst</p>
<p>He engulfed my mouth and breathed his liquid fire down into my soul and I dutifully drank his tongue in , lapping at it like I couldn't satisfy the fire it enthralled all through my body.</p>
<p>I couldn't help but grimace as the sharp parts of the walls behind me slightly grazed my back and exposed shoulders, but it was all amashed with ecstasy , matching the Haze High where we had first lit a spark with nights ago.</p>
<p>I breathed him , trying to eat his neck in desperation as his intoxication rippled over me with a longing for more, his movements made me move from his mouth, I needed more, I need to stop this hunger and his shoulders glistened to me and lead me to them, his veins pumping his energy right under his skin and a sensation I could feel build into my mouth.</p>
<p>His hands knew what they where doing, they knew me like a carefully gilded map. he knew every part of me that needed attention and I struggled to keep up with his relentless thirst.</p>
<p>God help me, if there you are there, I am going to hell and I cannot stop it.</p>
<p>I didnt care that we were in public, I didnt care that I was being thrust into a wall by just a thirsty mouth and his hands writing the filthiest sonnet in existence, I just knew that I couldn't stop him and more importantly I didnt want to, God I didnt want to, I wanted every part of him deeper than the second before.</p>
<p>He couldn't speak or make a sound other than his moans building.</p>
<p>I dug my heels into his thighs , knowing he could take any pain I was placing there, the sharpness making his breath build as I was certain I was bruising his honey skin, like he was bruising mine.</p>
<p>He took that as a cue to move his snaking tongue down to my breasts and slid the top covering them off , and guiding one into his mouth with a hunger which caused me to feel my pulse all over and deeper inside me.</p>
<p>He knew my nipples , he knew the gentleness and hunger he could alternate his thirst to match, he knew he wanted to make me gasp but make me quiver all in one flick of his serpent guided tongue.</p>
<p>'Joon ' I gasped , I couldn't help but feel my own wetness dripping its way out of my underwear onto him , and it was like an intuition, he just knew , and now he had me balanced against the wall , he moved his other hand to hold my thigh and allow his long fingers to guide past my underwear and penetrate my now growing ocean of fluid within the walls that were howling .</p>
<p>He met my mouth with a smirk and his eyes where like the blackest of nights and he said two words into my mouth, that have stayed with me.</p>
<p>'My addiction' he breathed , words that shock me and made me soul jump .</p>
<p>And this which only made me wetter and I kissed him, wanting to die in him , I couldn't stop myself , He was a drug , he was the drug I had chased but could never find , he was pouring into me with every thrust of his hands , searching out my G-Spot like a thief in the darkest night.</p>
<p>'Trust me Jagi, please' He said holding me up by one arm and manoeuvring me onto some old crates near us , as our strength couldn't keep up with our pace and he needed help to keep our descent into hell</p>
<p>'Hmmmn' I said and I hadn't realised I wasn't standing or making any movements or verbal words that could be distinguished as English, I just tried to stay upright , even though he was so painfully close to me in front of me.</p>
<p>He wrapped himself around me again and made me open my eyes to be entranced by his , I have never been this deep before and this was the first time in my life I felt like I could die and have no issue with any of it.</p>
<p>'Consent to me Kat...please' he said .</p>
<p>'We both need this from each other.' he said following and slowly moving onto his next stage and preparing himself.</p>
<p>'Yes ' I muttered without hesitation, I was too far into this ride to back out now.</p>
<p>And with that his eyes went blacker and he held me up higher than he may have done with someone before and grasped my waist whilst moving my underwear and slightly scratching me with the side of the now empty condom wrapper which he dropped to the floor.</p>
<p>'Mine' he partially quietly howled as he guided me onto him, taking my breath away with every inch he pursued forward.</p>
<p>The size hadn't been a lie and right now I was in some kind of intoxicating place I couldn't make sense of, he stretched my vagina in all directions, and I clenched with every pulse I felt from him, he was totally taking me over.</p>
<p>We moulded into one, a mass of sweating bodies eating the fuck out of each other , and he kept purring into my ear with an alternating hiss every breath he took.</p>
<p>I was reaching to point where I knew I was coming, I was good at hiding it , I had faked it more times than I can count in the past but Joon had broken all my walls down and I wanted to drown him, making it harder for him to swim out of me. </p>
<p>He knew , he knew and I could feel him growing and pulsing in me , and his come was probably only seconds behind mine , I wanted to see his face , and I wanted to see that this was real and this wasn't just a quick fuck that it must have looked to passers by.</p>
<p>'Look at me please....please....' I gasped , not knowing the words would come out of my mouth.</p>
<p>He had been biting into my shoulder, to try and hold off his orgasm for as long as he could, but he heard me and he relinquished and looked into my full emotion filled eyes with his darkness.</p>
<p>'UGH' escaped his lips and he held me as close as he could, as we both like magnets pulled into each and climaxed together. </p>
<p>He was breathless and unable to stand and as we slid down onto the floor I remained on his lap and my walls quivered around his twitching cock, and I knew that we couldn't turn back.</p>
<p>He couldn't speak and his eyes where almost in the back of his head , and he just panted until he could breath and look at me with meaning and he said it again ....</p>
<p>'My addiction.....all mine' and he slid himself out of me and just held my face in his wet and soft palms in matching shock with me as to what had happened.</p>
<p>There was no way back and for once I think we both agreed on that, I don't think one could be without the other now anymore.</p>
<p>How Do I Come back from this ....Jesus Kat !......</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 9-Bold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>we go deeper , we explore why Fake love or even real love cannot exist in two broken mirrors, two sides of a life kicked penny, or can it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat and Namjoon have that conversation and for the first time you can feel a little vulnerability from them, both shocked from going down the rabbit hole that they now cannot climb out of.<br/>They don't do love, they don't do feeling, Fake love is never a concept they want to entertain.</p><p>Side note : When Namjoon mentions that Kat doesn't know truly who or what he is , it is an expression, there is no supernatural or magical undertone to this , it is set in the real world.<br/>Also in this world, I didnt want to mention Covid 19, I wanted to have an AU world where it didnt exist, and I know some have asked given that he is his real age in this, why I haven't mentioned Covid , I chose not to, we all need a break from hearing about a world with it.<br/>This will get deeper , we are just at the beginning and the other boys will enter this story as characters.<br/>I have written synopsis's for everyone as to who I want to play what role and I even have the provisional ending mapped out but even that could change as im letting this write itself.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We found our feet, after we found the strength for our legs, we had sat in our own mist for too long and needed to move this forward , after being so drunk on each other for what seemed like an eternity but was probably more than a few moments.</p><p>The stars guided me home , Joon sleepily following my steps with a gentle hand on my waist , I could barely keep my eyes open, I was intoxicated still even if I couldn't admit it , he had destroyed me.</p><p>'Where's Home Jagi' he said with tiredness lingering on the outskirts of his voice.</p><p>'We are here ' I said in matching tone as I leaned my strength against him to stop myself from falling and I opened the door with my keys and guiding Joon to step inside and we found the couch , well....it was the first thing you get to in my home and we sunk into it , parts of each other draped over the other.</p><p>Time slipped by with us both half awake and only stirring when the other adjusted position, we wanted to stay our alleyway hell, and further its descent but I know a confusion was probably lingering in us both.</p><p>I mean after all , Joon seemed as perturbed by this as I did , and why was I suddenly an addiction, what was all this and why for the first time in my varied life of experiences could I not resist this man, that in all honesty I knew very little about. </p><p>My mind couldn't answer all this tonight , I don't think I knew how to and Namjoon had softly fallen asleep at my side , his dark eyes had closed and fallen silent and I couldn't move myself so I drifted off too. I half prayed my dreams could answer the questions that were rising.</p><p>Night became day and I was awoken by that all familiar crash inside my house that I swore I half listened out for in my sleep.</p><p>Yoongi had found his way back in after many a days absence and was again wrestling his tangerine fetish on my Bistro bar counter top, and once he achieved his goal and knew he had awoken me , he just stared at me dead bolt.</p><p>His expression was part shock and disgust, which for a cat I swear it is something that the little minions learn all together when the humans aren't looking.</p><p>He seemed shocked to see Namjoon asleep and mildly snoring on my couch, Yoongi was in sheer disgust that I had another being with  Penis inside the apartment other than him, ha maybe he saw Namjoon as threat to his Tangerine stealing ring.....I don't know.</p><p>'Don't start Yoongles ' I glared back trying hard not hiss at him as I tried to get off the couch without waking Namjoon.</p><p>I wanted to feel cleaner, I mean god knows what was in that alleyway and Namjoon's scent lingered all over and in me and I didnt know what to do with that yet. </p><p>The water in the shower was warm this time and I just stood under it naked and let it pour over the top of my head and trickle down my face, with my hand occasionally coming up to wipe it out of my eyes as if it was tears , all the while my other arm was holding my stance just below the showerhead.</p><p>I breathed in and out trying to process what had happened, all the while feeling Namjoon being washed from me and wanting to stop the water pooling by my feet from escaping.</p><p>I hadn't felt like this and it upset me , and I couldn't figure out why, I thought I knew everything I wanted and I thought I knew that I could hold my own, and why was this sleeping asshole now the beauty only feet away from that I felt like I couldn't now live without.</p><p>I mean my god what if he was reading my mind at this very moment, what if this was just a game after all, I mean addiction, come on I've heard it all in my time, but his eyes made sense to me when he said it.</p><p>Tears did escape my eyes but I couldn't put an emotion to them, be it positive or negative they just fell, like it was the first time in a long time Id allowed myself to feel anything behind the walls I had built up.</p><p>I felt sore too, between my legs are sore and the muscles of my thighs felt pulled in different directions and it was because I had surely climbed that man like a tree , holding on to him so as not to fall. He had filled me all completely and his length had hit places I didnt think were reachable . And again it hit my mind, why was this bothering me , why was I wanting him to take his own pain away.</p><p>I got out the shower and wiped my face and almost trod on Yoongi who had wormed his way into the bathroom and had probably sat and watched in wonder at his semi owner having a crisis about the sleeping penis on the couch that he had no doubt gone and sniffed and wanted to report to me that he was still breathing and yes...still had a penis.</p><p>I wanted to swear and bat the cat away but right now I needed an Ally and this one couldn't speak back in a language that could form a good argument.</p><p>I stayed still for a minute or two behind the slightly ajar door , summoning the courage to go back into my own studio, all the time Yoongi circled my naked legs for encouragement.</p><p>and I did , I stepped out in that old ruffled purple towel which I was now clinging to like a suit of armour, looking at the floor.</p><p>'Morning...I think' Joon said to me softly so as not to startle me '</p><p>I slightly jumped and met his eyes and nodded in acknowledgment , a little unsure of what to say next but Joon's eyes had a kindness to them that was going to push for any kind of answer in this new territory.</p><p>'Yes' I said , 'Morning' </p><p>'I guess I fell asleep' Joon said. </p><p>'Either that or you were checking your eyelids for holes' I mused trying to break the tension.</p><p>' Kat ' Joon said .</p><p>' Hmm' I replied.</p><p>'Are you ok, I mean, I'm not , But are you' He said with a slightly titled head.</p><p>'Ok?....I'm sorry you're not' I said with confusion coming over my brow that slight alarmed Joon.</p><p>'Kat relax its fine , that sounded a little off ' he reassured me.</p><p>'I don't know' I said rubbing my eyes and trying to pull the towel up to my chin to hide.</p><p>'Ok Ill start, its only fair ,as this was on me' Joon said.</p><p>I wasn't going to stop him at  this point , I think I needed him to lead this .</p><p>He pulled himself forward and to a proper sitting position on my couch whilst I settled onto one of the bar stools opposite him by the bistro and waited for his next sentence.</p><p>He ran his hands through his ruffled blonde hair, slightly brushing his jet black undercut with either thumb and he took a breath to start his next confession.</p><p>'I didnt know what you were doing to to me ' He started.</p><p>'I don't do this, I don't do feelings, I do quick and simple and I chase sensation, Its the only drug I wanted' he trailed on.</p><p>'You wouldn't fall for my usual tactics, you met every word of mine with retort and it infected me Kat ' he said looking over his brow at me , who seemed to half not like what I was hearing.</p><p>But I couldn't interrupt, I needed to hear this even if it was uncomfortable as at the moment It was making sense , in a riddle I never knew that I could think.</p><p>'You became a new rabbit hole and I liked the chase even if it meant toying with actually feeling' he said recounting a story with his eyes.</p><p>'Joon' I intersurped with a mild gasp.</p><p>'Kitty please , I need to say this and then we can move on ' Joon retorted </p><p>'I don't know what changed and I needed to find out , I needed to know but I got more of an answer than I had bargained for when I gave you HAZE,' he said his eyes glistening with a sorrowful admission.</p><p>' I don't do last night, I move from place to place like you, and yes I fuck, I fuck hard and I fuck anything with a pulse …and no!....don't tell me you think that's what I think of you, I found out that it isn't, because for some reason I'm feeling and I don't know what to do' He said and stopped for breath and answer.</p><p>I slid forward on the stool, letting my guard down as I hadn't expected to hear my exact feelings spoken back to me, it was as if Joon and I were two sides of the same penny that had been kicked around by life and I didnt truly know how to answer him either , It wasn't easy hearing this and having him work his way emotionally into my walls .</p><p>'I don't know Joon, I honestly don't know, I don't know what to think right now, this is a lot ' I began as I started my response.</p><p>'You did this, you did all of this, you crawled under my skin and what's more It seems like you got off on it ' I said pointing at him as if to prove a point.</p><p>'You made a game of me, I told you from the outset I wasn't looking for anything when I first laid eyes on you at the bar, but you kept going and now I cannot fucking get you out of my head' I said trying to steady my voice.</p><p>'You're in here' I said pointing to my own head.<br/>'Why , I don't know and right now I still feel you everywhere, like literally everywhere , like a sodding infection I never asked for ' I said trying to swallow my emotions with a closing of my eyes.</p><p>'I was safe with you last night, I used protection and I don't ever not, and your consent I needed it' He said thinking that was what I meant.</p><p>'Please don't change the subject, I know that, I wouldn't have let you if I didnt think you had' I said rolling my eyes and causing him to sit back in his couch and run his hands again through his hair and look at me with pained but longing eyes.</p><p>'I don't do this Joon, I just don't , feeling get you hurt, feelings end things, feelings put complication into pursuit' I said as all the emotions I didnt know I had spilled out of me and across the room to him and he drank them in and nodded as if to agree.</p><p>' but you are addicted to me …what does that even mean' I posed.</p><p>' you are an addiction' he said and picked up the conversation like a verbal game of tennis.</p><p>' I don't do this either but I couldn't walk away, and I still don't want to, but It is too bold a thought in my head , so I had to find out last night and I still find myself trying to work this shit out' He said </p><p>'you are like a possession to me , you've taken me over ' Joon said rising himself to leave .</p><p>'and I need you to decide the next part, I need you to decide if you can handle an addiction basis to this ….because I Just don't know....you could never know who and what I really am Jagi' he said and he turned and left with the smallest painful smile on his face.</p><p>My breath couldn't keep up with my panic as I stumbled half crouched across the floor to the couch, He left me with all that, The fucking bastard, every single time worming his way in. I sobbed a tearless cry and tried to control may gasps as he may still be close by and I cant have him invading me anymore.</p><p>'Love gets you hurt 'I said over and over to myself .</p><p>Joon on the other hand I would later find out was at the base of the steps to my apartment , saying the same thing .</p><p>'Love gets you hurt, Love gets you lost, Im sick of Fake Love '</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 10- Inside Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is a very short chapter and is designed to give a snap shot into why Kat doesn't do anything close to love and it leads on from her childhood.<br/>she is still trying to decide what to do about being with Joon in any capacity and if they both can just be an addiction.</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING - <br/>mentions of Alcoholism<br/>slight mention of previous child battery.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You can guess I spent some time in the apartment , I was too confused to leave other than a few shifts at the bar.</p><p>I just lounged around in a t-shirt trying to make sense of the bombshell Namjoon had left me with.</p><p>He, of course was still in my head and I was in his, his texts would come and go over the days where I tried to fake my own hibernation, He was the penny, the other side and my mind was still ablaze with his proposition.</p><p>I know that I cant do real, I cant do love of any capacity, but I can do sex, that I can do , whether it be Penis or Vagina, I had my mastery which had done me fine up until now, but how can I do any of that when this beauty was under my skin.</p><p>Haze had brought it all out and it made me wonder if that was the answer, a way to feel and connect without thinking and it was then fade and I could keep him in my life and in me longer and we didnt have to be anything other than an addiction to each other .</p><p>Could I do that?.... be someone's addiction, in this small seaside town where everyone just passes through and can I place my reliance in a drug , a high, like I'd never taken before to replace the need for feelings.</p><p>As Joon had said , it wasn't something that made you do something that wasn't already in you, It was like a goddamn truth serum but you know that going in, or at least now I did.</p><p>I couldn't make sense of it and he would keep being the angel and devil by my side and make me start to feel but I know where that lead , it lead to bad things, it always fucking did hence by walls around myself , I was my own medieval fort and torture device all in one.</p><p>Love , if this is ever something I could understand, It gets you hurt, it gets you destroyed.</p><p>Despite all the shitty love songs people relied on, it was never real, and when those who are supposed to love you unconditionally , don't actually love you, it just compounds that and to think people make billions of the concept of love, it truly is fucking sickening.</p><p>I mean Jesus fuck, what would Freud think of me right now. I don't want to have it all, It isn't real but he is real and right now I don't know what to do.....and why the hell is it always my decision!!, I mean for fuck sakes , just do what you want and leave .......</p><p>I mean everyone else does and it bookends everything, but why are you being selfish Joon.....Or are you? ....are you inside my mind too, do you have this constant swirl of poetic bullshit going round too, or am I a game, can you just pick me up and put me down.</p><p>Why did I crave you inside me again, why did I want to be bathed in every part of you, but at the same time I don't want to be anywhere near you!.</p><p>Fuck sake Katalina you stupid overly analytical Whore, Just fuck yourself and have done with it !</p><p>I just wanted to stay on my bed , occasionally graced by Yoongi's presence, he was about all the love and feeling I could handle , and it was platonic , he only ever sat on my face when he wanted feeding and right now if Joon offered the same notion, Id just sit there and take it like a dentists drill taking any pain until he dislocates my jaw.</p><p>I totally blame my parents for the shit storm that is my emotional battle field, I was damaged goods all the way from my receipt in this world.</p><p>Dad was just a 3 letter word and didnt give two shits about he fact he had 5 Children , he would batter me around like a toy when we didnt listen to his drunken demands , he preferred my 4 brothers and I was always the little whining bitch he couldn't get rid off but wished his wife, my mother did.</p><p>Mum , well she did the role, played the dutiful Italian Housewife, took dads beatings, and doted on my brothers ,as back in my youth, men where head of the household and lets just say I didnt like orders , I don't know if it was just our family or the rest of the world was like it , but at 16 I didnt stick around to find out, I became my existence and found myself out the country as soon as I turned 18 and could legally just flee the fuck way from the Truva shitshow I was part of.</p><p>I had a few cousins that lived in the UK, when we all came over from Italy for a better life from that tiny Italian town we were all spurted from, and don't get me wrong they were super nice and it was an impossible notion to know they where related to my Father's side of the family.</p><p> They were the only ones I'd let be at the roots of my family tree and I'd occasionally send an email so they'd know I was still alive ,they hadn't done me any wrong so I guess I owed them that.</p><p>But for almost 20 years I just drifted , and now in the present day I'm wondering if I should just follow the tide and move on, but I can't , I mean first off Yoongi sort of relied on me in our weird tag team sort of way, and Namjoon, He was becoming the drug I needed and I guess I will never know if I can quench the thirst without having to do feelings .</p><p>My feet I guess wont let me go until I find out .</p><p>He messages again ,and those words again 'Jagi ' is now his call sign for me , Korean for baby and honey, and I felt myself falling again.</p><p>Joon please , I don't know what to do anymore , I need a sign from you, this is your fault so make me feel a little better ...please......?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 11-Step into the Mikrokosmos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>things get decided and well a little sticky too.........</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I kept my phone on me , It was a way to keep him at a distance, it was way to still have him there and the occasional photo , could go into the spank bank for later use if the mood took me that way.</p><p>I needed to go a short shift at the bar as a new fair had come into the town and with it would bring more customers so Bang wanted me there and making sure the bar didnt cave in on itself.</p><p>I wasn't one for fayres, they would come in and out of London when I was a kid and I never understood why people would pay to be flung around and made nauseous …ha ha the irony at the moment , one soul was doing that to me....so fuck the rides ...I had the emotional rollercoaster.</p><p>I put off leaving the shift as much as I could and Namjoon was oddly more active than normal on my phone.</p><p>6.55pm Namjoon</p><p>Jagi, meet me in the Mikrokosmos, I need to be in the stars with you . J </p><p>I just rolled my eyes, something I seemed to be getting to be an expert as he made me do this with his cryptic messages , I mean god sake you'd think this man was a poet or trying to write songs with all the verses he comes out with.</p><p>He sent a photo to, he was at the fayre , that was the mikrokosmos , his features illuminated with the bright but striking white light bulbs behind him and his eyes penetrating me through the phone screen.</p><p>'Stop calling me Jagi , Asshole' I said as I swept the phone and some other particulars into my hand bag , and tossing my hair into its 50th high bun of the week, I had to get tonight over with and wait for the stairs and the moon to rise so I could come home .</p><p>my feet found their way to the bar and thankfully no Namjoon but deep down part of me felt a little disappointed.</p><p>The customer flooded the place, and spewed their demands and obscenities into the barmaids directions but I just rebuffed them and kept the night moving forward.</p><p>The sea was a little angrier tonight and heck maybe that was me , A woman is an ocean some would say right now and my storm was raging on and off with every random thought.</p><p>An hour before closing, my eye line navigated its way to the parasols that had to come in whilst we locked up, and this particular one was the one that I so wished at this point had washed Namjoon away from me that night a while ago, but my tracks where to be foiled.</p><p>He was there , in all his beauty just sitting there watching and I don't know how long for , he was alone and just sitting , legs splayed but not too widely that he would lose his balance , his eyes tracing my steps and his tongue occasionally gracing his bottom lip like he wanted to taste me from afar.</p><p>I mean fuck dude, he did look good, he was in a black embroided short and had a white vest underneath and those fateful grey jeans that I had soaked had made an appearance again and part of my mind wondered if my saturation was still in them.</p><p>His hair was the same and he looked wide eyed with his darkness at me.</p><p>I made eye contact I hadn't tried to but it was the end of the night and I knew I had to face him, he was magnet in a sea of dark sand and I was prepared to do HAZE again just to get this out of my system.</p><p>I locked up and didnt care that he had put the parasol away for me.</p><p>'Kat ' Joon said as he sailed slowly towards me , placing his hands in the back pockets of his jeans , knowing full well that the Namtitties had start this whole thing. I mean fuck this man was a weapon in all senses of the word.</p><p>' Don't do that' I said acting as off guard as I could.<br/>'I needed to see you again Kitty, its been a little too long' he trailed off.</p><p>'Joon, stop calling me Jagi' I said glaring at him, 'I know what that means and it doesn't fit you' I said continuing.</p><p>'Cant help it Kat, its about the only word I can handle without going too far' He said looking down at the ground.</p><p>'Mikrokosmos....What' I said turning to face him, to begin a question.</p><p>'Why are you mentioning the fayre to me, I hate those things ' I said to try and knock him off track.</p><p>'The stars are calling us again and I wanted to be with you again under beautiful haze of stars ' he said trying to smirk and walk into my space so I couldn't say no.</p><p>'What is with you and these word vomit poems , what are you some type of genius or something' I said glaring at him with a teenage like immaturity in my eyes.</p><p>'It works thought doesn't it and yes I am a genius' He said taking my hand and I didnt try to pull away.</p><p> 'it works because I want it to , and right now step into the stars with me Jagi, be the addiction again.....' he said and realising he said the one word I didnt want him to.</p><p>I just didnt have the strength to say no anymore and I pulled my hand from his to show acceptance and I walked trying to stay step for step a small distance to the side of him.</p><p>' I have the escape clause don't worry' he said.</p><p>'Huh' I muttered with my arms crossed in front of me like I was trying to stop any words or actions escaping me.</p><p>'Haze Kitty, something we can use to feel without the hassle, but its your choice ' he said  turning into a whisper tone the nearer the end of the sentence he got.</p><p>'Why is it always my choice Joon, can you not make any decisions' I said sounding irritated.</p><p>'I did make a choice Kat, when my words didnt work when we first met, you intrigued me , like I said ' He said in response.</p><p>'Right' I said trying to rebuff it all.</p><p>'Trust me please' he said pleading in his tone.</p><p>'This will work Kitty, we both get what we want and I get to stay chasing you, but first I want to show another way to feel a high....and don't worry I am a gentleman, tonight is all on me ' he said showing me the wallet I had dutifully returned but had now wished sometimes that I had kicked down the street.</p><p>We arrived at the pier which was to hold host to the Mikrokosmos Funfair and it lit up the sky that was for sure , and I noticed the bulbs that had appeared in his previous Instagram worthy photograph.</p><p>Joon had paid and the purple wristbands placed and I guess to anyone passing by we looked like to slight aged distanced lovers on a first date, and maybe looking back that is what this was , even if it didnt feel like in that confusing moment.</p><p>It was like I had slipped into my childhood again and saw all those same rides that gave my stomach a tension just thinking of getting flung around.</p><p>He snaked his hand into mine to guide me , and I both couldn't hold it or make an attempt to let go.</p><p>' Choose Kat, pick a poison' he said pulling me closer , close enough I could smell all of him and wanted to keep inhaling.</p><p>I couldn't chose , I hated fayre rides.</p><p>'I hate rides Joon, so why' I posed</p><p>'Because you are an existence , so let us shine ' He said , passing me a small part of HAZE to my empty other hand.</p><p>He just smiled as he took his escape clause and with that I took mine, and he led me to possibly the worst ride for a stomach to endure, a Waltzer.</p><p>'its ok Jagi ' he said leading my by the wrist as we felt the HAZE build again.</p><p>I just huffed, I wasn't going to get out of this and right now the drug was taking over so I could again feel without admitting I was , this was all chemical.</p><p>He of course fell into the cabin before he could sit down and that made me laugh of course , but I did get to view his rather magnificent ass on his descent.</p><p>' Clumsy fucker' I snorted only to fall off my own feet as Joon grabbed both my wrists and with a swift move he pulled me into him and just glared into me , and I knew his hunger was haze ridden and this was going to be a hell of a ride for both of us.</p><p>'Hold on tight' Said the attendant to us and the other riders </p><p>and I just grasped nervously onto the bar that would possibly be my salvation tonight.</p><p>' Don't worry...I've got you' He said trying not to moan at me, knowing full well he couldn't touch me in the way is high was wanting him to.</p><p>The ride jolted and I just wanted to close my eyes as the haze hit and made my pulse and stomach jump with every rotation.</p><p>Joon of course glided towards me whether it be the force of us spinning or not , and buried his head into my neck as we began to spin and tried to syncopate my every move , He was thirsty for me , he grasped onto me with his arms wrapped around me and laughed and screamed as we span and span.</p><p>'Im going to be sick' I yelled as if he could hear me over the other screaming riders.</p><p>' Kiss me ' he panted and eased my head round with his words.</p><p>'Kiss me please' he pleaded and I took that step off the cliff again and took my hands from the bar that appeared to be holding us in.</p><p>My mind was racing and I wanted to use this escape clause we had , I wanted to be all of his movements right now and Haze kept it all simple.</p><p>I smashed my lips into his, and he joined my arms around my waist to match his.</p><p>any sickness fell away, I was drunk as fuck on Joon and our spinning world was taking us out into our own little world.</p><p>I tried in vain to capture his tongue as we spun and I just felt his breath moving into me and is hands tried to do the same .</p><p>He was grasping one of my thighs with a ferocity as if to tether him to earth at this semi orgasmic moment.</p><p>We hadn't noticed the ride slowing and kept in our rhythm and our high matching pace with each other .</p><p>Until a voice pierced our presence ' Time to go lovebirds' it yelled as a light was shone at our surprised and wet faces.</p><p>we found the energy to stand and walk and made our way to end of the pier where I could rest my spinning head and breath a little so as to not vomit into the sea below.</p><p>Joon of course joined me and held me from behind, trying to stay on his own two feet and all the time looking towards the sky as he tried to breath in the stars one at a time with each pant he let out.</p><p>He pulled me closer , and his erection was beginning to grow and he didnt hesitate in placing his hand down my pants to handle the ass he seemed to want to eat next.</p><p>I just moaned without sounded and leaned my head against the vibrations of his chest as he breathed in and out .</p><p>His hand was trying to find my entrance but we were a lot more public than our fucking episode the other time.</p><p>'Tell me please Kat' he rasped into my ears whilst I tried to stop moaning and glide my entrance onto his longing fingers.</p><p>'Tell …tell you what Joonah' I gasped as he smoothed his finger over the entrance of me teasing my vulva with a stroke that felt like it was parting a sea right now .</p><p>'Tell me I have you , I need this, I've got you haven't I' He said trying to stir an answer before I let him fuck any hole he wanted and not give a fuck who was watching.</p><p>I knew my answer, even if it was the haze talking and it fell out of me even quicker than the come that was about erupt over his hand and trail down my legs to the wooden planks below into a sea I was supplying.</p><p>'You've got me ' I said and with that I guess it was official.</p><p>we were going to be one, and I didnt know how or what this was, Did I have a boyfriend now, did I have a penis to call my own , what was this .</p><p>I just knew I had to find out, but we must keep this escape clause, I want to feel you, but I don't want to drop like a lost anchor in my sea of worry.</p><p>and with that he slid out his hands and held his wet fingers at my waist and spoke two words into my wet back placing his cold sweat embalmed nose between the most sensitive spot of my shoulder blades...…</p><p>'My addiction' He breathed and started our fire together.</p><p>Kat what have you done.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 12 - Promises Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After this chapter it will start to build the story more, I needed to get to the point that the foundations had been laid with Namjoon and Kat and their Ground rules chat needed to take place.<br/>I wanted to keep it in text message format too as it was a lot of dialogue between the two characters and a lot of ground needed to be covered.<br/>This is a story from mainly Kats view point, but it will include Omniscient chapters too view points to as the characters I am bringing in will have interactions which Kat will not have witness to , but she will know of them at the end of the story.<br/>This is my first ever fanfiction so I'm still finding my writing style and the way I've plotted this , it needs that type of view point in places.<br/>anyways feedback always welcome.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night you shifted the tide Namjoon, you became the port and my storm all at the same time.</p><p>You became an anchor and something I knew I had to keep floating near.</p><p>You had crept in and I didnt know our context but right now I was satisfied being your addiction and being something for us to both occupy the other with.</p><p>After all we had our escape clause, our little trick to provide synthetic feelings to the other which we could right off once it wore off as we both agreed feelings where overrated and not something either of us wanted to feel the full force of.</p><p>But surely we need some ground rules, as you have been tugging the rug under my feet and I needed to keep my little dark hole of a heart as safe as I could as it still needed to beat to get me through each day, but then again Namjoon you had ignored my rules until now but you were under my skin and surely I am under yours too.</p><p>It had been a day or two since our trip into the stars and maybe I had been unconsciously smiling more about you than I could recognise.</p><p>Picking up my phone I knew I had to set the boundaries , and not come across like an emotional wreck as I've surely given him whiplash at this point.</p><p>I typed into the keys on the screen like I was trying to caress parts of him I knew I wanted more of .</p><p>9.59am</p><p>Kat: Hello sensation</p><p>9.59am</p><p>Namjoon : are you back on earth yet Jagi </p><p>I rolled my eyes and smiled as I knew that he was not going to stop using that word, but its just a word and we can treat it as such, after all, at least it stops him calling me a cat derivative .</p><p>I smirked at Yoongi who was sunning himself in the front window half smooshed against the glass and half dribbling down it too, Oh Yoongi, you should be the only kitty with nicknames, but my name sake is dragging me down again...anyways ....</p><p>10.01am</p><p>Kat: Didnt think you'd be awake this earlier Namjoon</p><p>10.02am</p><p>Namjoon: Well I'm a new kind of super hero now </p><p>I half wanted to wretch into my mouth when he said that, I mean dude come on, you've fucked me already, so the corny lines don't need to be there, but hey .....Ill indulge the fucker.</p><p>10.03am</p><p>Kat : well before the next voyage then, maybe we need some ground rules .</p><p>10.03am </p><p>Namjoon: you read my mind Kitty </p><p>Grrr with the kitty again dude , I thought to myself but didnt take the strength to get him to stop.</p><p>10.04am</p><p>Namjoon: What did you have in mind </p><p>10.04am</p><p>Kat: What did you have in mind, this was your fault after all..... </p><p>10.05am </p><p>Namjoon: Always placing the blame ...that will get you a spanking Noona</p><p>I half laughed as I thought he would have a hard time trying that, and besides Id already keyed his bollocks and had no problem taking aim again.</p><p>10.06am</p><p>Kat: Yeah right dude....anyways stay on topic Joon, listen to an elder for once.</p><p>10.07am</p><p>Namjoon: Yes  addiction</p><p>I swear Joon is I shake my head anymore Im going to get motion sickness.</p><p>10.07am</p><p>Kat: First , What is Haze, besides our get out clause .</p><p>10.08am</p><p>Namjoon: Its the exit hatch, even if we like each other, it gives us and excuse to not feel, we can blame anything in the moment on that sweet little chemical high.</p><p>10.08am</p><p>Kat: Agreed, you knew when you met me right ....</p><p>10.09am</p><p>Namjoon: its a natural substance and some alcoholic components , a local connoisseur if I can call them that gives it to me , and it does as desired , blame to fucking on the fine ingrediants </p><p>10.10am</p><p>Kat: A friend?</p><p>10.10am</p><p>Namjoon: Yes a friend, local and gorgeous but not something I would go for </p><p>10.10am</p><p>Kat: The way you are going Joon, I would have thought any hole was a goal to you.....</p><p>10.11am:</p><p>Namjoon: Don't make promises like that ;)</p><p>again another silent asshole fell out of my mouth , he had a habit of doing that.</p><p>10.12am</p><p>Kat: Do you do this with anyone else.</p><p>10.12am</p><p>Namjoon: I only want this with you, I want you as my sole addiction, I want you to be what I crave and no one else......and Jagi......can that be both ways ....</p><p>10.13am</p><p>Kat: Ok Agreed , but if I choose to chase something else, you cant stop me , after all the only feelings are in the Haze .</p><p>10.14am</p><p>Namjoon: I cant promise id let you go with out a fight Jagi.</p><p>I cant say that my heart didnt stir a little when he said that, like it was trying to shake some metaphorical dirt off of it , but I ignored it in almost the instant that it happened.</p><p>10.14am</p><p>Kat: anyways ...what are the boundaries, Do you mix anything else?</p><p>10.14am</p><p>Namjoon: Swallow or sniff is my extent , anything else can pollute you too much.</p><p>I was happy he said that, I didnt need a real addiction on top of this .</p><p>10.14am</p><p>Kat : And other boundaries ....we have been pretty daring in public so far, is there anything off limits </p><p>My curiosity was peaking as I wanted to know more , as I said this penis had some power and the pull so far had blown the dust off my fanny in more ways than one.</p><p>10.16am</p><p>Namjoon: I don't like things set in stone, but you have to promise to consent to me whenever I ask for consent, I don't want to do anything without knowing you want it to, and that includes Haze ...</p><p>10.16am</p><p>Namjoon: I have been with all genders and persuasions and I have been to different depths but I promise my upmost respect with you, and I know you noticed consent and protection are important to me.</p><p>10.17am </p><p>Kat: I did notice and I'm guessing when  you chase and fuck as much as we do, you have to protect yourself , and Yes I too swim the streams of everyone. Fucking is just that Fucking and well ....that's what we are doing</p><p>10.18am</p><p>Namjoon: yes to a degree.</p><p>I didnt want to stop the flow of conversation and ask more about that statement , so onwards I typed on my now wet key pad as texting and responding as quickly as I was , was building up a residue coupled with the humidity.</p><p>10.18am: </p><p>Namjoon: I have plenty and always do , so trust me Jagi , you will feel me all the way and I wont stop you feeling that, but I will keep us safe.</p><p>10.19am</p><p>Kat: So we are exclusive to each other, free to leave upon negotiation, safe and open to how much we will each do....well I guess we will decide each time. I mean as much as I like safe words , I dont think we need them as long as we do things this way.</p><p>10.20am:</p><p>Namjoon: Do you need a title Jagi, Words and feelings are two different things, I am a boy , I identify as so , and well I am addicted to you.</p><p>I did admire how he was always mentioning about gender identity and sexual orientation, it was refreshing to see someone in this part of the world have a refreshing take on something like this .</p><p>I mean there is prejudice everywhere in the world , and as much as Namjoon was cocky asshole , he was also an accepting asshole and I didnt need the views I had grown up with thrust in my face again. People are who they are , and no fucker had the right to dictate that.</p><p>anyways lets dig a little deeper.</p><p>10.21: </p><p>Kat: You want a title ?, fuck buddy, Namtitted freak, Boyfriend....what ?</p><p>10.22am:</p><p>Namjoon, lets leave it open to interpretation, they are just words Jagi and I seem to fall under all those categories in this , and it'll serve us whenever any asks a question.</p><p>Well I hadn't had a boyfriend in the traditional sense in a very long time ,as I don't do complex feelings, love had fucked me royally and I wasn't sailing that ship again, but I wanted less complication, so like a name tag on a store clerk, I guess Namjoon was the boyfriend in this arrangement.</p><p>10.24am</p><p>Kat: pick in whatever circumstance , its just words </p><p>10.25am</p><p>Namjoon : deal and ill seal that with a kiss next time I get a taste.</p><p>10.26am:</p><p>Kat: you are very sure of that aren't you </p><p>10.26am</p><p>Namjoon: I know you are ;)</p><p>Asshole again fell from my mouth like a waterfall.</p><p>10.27am</p><p>Namjoon: I want to take you away again Kitty, but this time its your turn.</p><p>10.28am</p><p>Kat: Like a bossy older woman don't you .....</p><p>10.29am</p><p>Namjoon: I like my addiction.</p><p>10.30am</p><p>Kat: Well I bid you good day sir ....</p><p>10.30am</p><p>Namjoon: Don't do that Kitty</p><p>10.30am</p><p>Kat: Do what</p><p>10.31am</p><p>Namjoon: Game on again Jagi, See you soon, I need to purr again....</p><p>and with that I put down the phone and just stood by the window and a comatose Yoongi who was now inhaling his own drool.</p><p>Oh how I wish I could be like you real kitty, and take your road .</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 13- The Incoming Tide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Those breadcrumbs are starting to appear, green marks the spot and signals the newest shipwreck.<br/>Jin comes across a misfortune and is helped by Joon and Kat, but who are they telling each other about.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Where I live at this time is unremarkable , its more like a port for anything that washes up and I saw that every day, and watched the tide flow back and forth at different times.</p><p>It is where the lost and wandering , some like myself wash up , and we find our place within the rocks and if we want to hide in plain sight then we can.</p><p>I was just like that, and Joon was too, but he now was my own private beach to walk over and I could sail in anytime I wanted to.</p><p>This was suitable, this worked , this way I can get what I want and I can just watch the water as it plays around with me.</p><p>But the tide was changing even if I didnt take the time to notice it, this little town would occasionally wash up the proverbial ship  wreck that would make everything grind to a halt.</p><p>There wasn't money here, everyone was just trying to get by, they were just trying to keep the roof over their head and the food in their bellies, but as I was reading in the news there was unrest rising here.</p><p>That wasn't uncommon, I had come to know the world as an uncaring place, and these headlines didnt confuse or worry me . I was hidden in plain sight, Sub letting the little apartment and not making waves by having any bill in my name, I just left the money in a hatch each month for Mr Min, or least that's the name he gave me, could collect each month , and he would leave me be. I was means to his end and that suited me fine, I didnt run to the ends of the earth just to be found by anyone from my past .</p><p>So today, well what is the plan for today, well I guess I need to eat , I need to feed Yoongi, I need to actually clean this place, as I was beginning to notice smells that only Yoongi should be able to smell or produce, ha yes that's not a good look Kat, so please get your shit together.</p><p>Eatjins would be the best place, so off I stumble and maybe Ill get to have some conversations with Jin again, He seemed sweet enough and even if his laugh could shatter glass, his smile was welcoming and well , he got me, being a fellow service provider to thankless customers, it was a friendly face to talk to.</p><p>so grabbing a t-shirt and yes you guessed it the infamous hair bun was up again I made my way to Eatjins to stock up.</p><p>Daytime was fading fast, I had admittedly slept in a lot , as my shifts where a little longer as summer progressed and Namjoon was filling my phone with his musings which I tried to tease out. I was going to play the game just as much as he was.</p><p>Eatjins looked different, the front window was smashed with red tape holding it together and the  menacing door was slightly detached, so I eased my way in gently , not seeing any sign of law enforcement , which lets be honest gave this town a wide birth at the best of times .</p><p>'Jin'  said to a half empty shop, hoping not to catch any of the perpetrators in the act of whatever they where doing and instead I was met by a flustered Jin, cursing, or at least I think he was cursing, at my feet , picking glass out of his display.</p><p>I mean wow that man could speak fast, almost like an intangible rap of Korean words that just spun around and around.</p><p>'Jin..' I said mildly approaching and not trying to startle him further.</p><p>'Katanana' He replied and I wasn't sure at this point whether he was just not able to say my name .</p><p>'Please mind your feet , I don't know where it all is ' he said gesturing to the floor with puffy eyes .</p><p>' Are you ok Jin, what happened ' I asked genuinely wanting to know.</p><p>'Aish , it just another day and this is expected' he said whilst still picking the glass out when he found it.</p><p>'no one deserves this Jin' I said as I tried to meet his eyeline with sympathetic eyes .</p><p>'It is getting worse around here Kata, you need to be careful ' He said standing up and taking my hands in his .</p><p>The warmth of this man was like a nice older brother who just wanted to take of you, he seemed bashful, but nothing menacing , just a unique soul with quirks and that wasn't a bad thing.</p><p>' Anyways what can I do for you' He said trying to change the topic .</p><p>'I...um....was....just coming  for food' I replied.'</p><p>'Well please go , ill sort this , I have help anyways ' he said and I trusted that he meant that.</p><p>So I reluctantly went to spend my money, which I knew would help him out, as I couldn't help but feel there was a brave face that had just answered me.</p><p>This was going to be a bigger shop that I intended and I wanted to make sure I had what myself and Yoongi needed , and well should Namjoon stop by, surely I can chase him off with my cooking skills.</p><p>The lights hummed above me and the sounds filled the shop as more customers came in and stepped around Jin in the process .</p><p>but Oh my ears, they are tuned in well and I heard that oh so familiar honey smoothness that I was growing to vibrate towards.</p><p>'Joon' I said walking up to the counter.</p><p>He was surprised to see me , and my hunch was right, they did know each other, I just didnt know in what capacity but I didnt care, I just smiled at those erotic eyes and smiled .</p><p>'What do I owe this displeasure ' I said to him worming my tongue gently into the corner of my slightly open mouth.</p><p>His eyes floated through me and I knew that for once maybe I had the upper hand.</p><p>'Katalina, I believe you've met Jin' he said to a swiftly turning Jin.</p><p>'Katalina...that's how you say it...Aish!! 'He said and ending with his insane laugh and then the straightest face Id ever seen, I mean Christ this man should have been an actor .</p><p>'Yes , but call me something else if it helps , I've been called worse' I said in a gentle tone to show I didnt disapprove of his bashfulness.</p><p>'I bet ...' Said Namjoon under hushed breath , looking all the more suave at me when he said it .</p><p>I just shot Joon a glare, if he dared say more , and as if to tempt him not to , or he wouldn't get the fucking of his life again.</p><p>He bit down on his lip, and man I wish he didnt do that, it was a weak spot for me, for this man could and has tried to devour me before.</p><p>Jin had now straightened himself up and was trying to get back behind his counter and push Namjoon out.</p><p>'Namjoon-ah.......you know her ' Jin posed.</p><p>'Yes I do' He said maintaining perfect eye contact with me .</p><p>' Yeah I do Jin, he is ...ummmmm....well' I said scratching my head when I couldn't finish the sentence and maybe somehow was hoping my hair held the answers.</p><p>'No bother' Jin said as Joon scotched past him and walked out the shop just smirking at me the whole time. Fuck sake that asshole, even in public you are trying to get off on this.</p><p>' Are you sure you are ok Jin' I said handing over money to pay for the goods and slightly tilting my head to show him that I was serious in my intention of asking. </p><p>'Katalina, I am ok, please be safe ' he said.</p><p>'Ok ??' I said noticing his eyes slightly longing.</p><p>' Its getting worse and you need to be careful about those around you, just friendly advice noona' he said holding my hand and the coins he gave in change. </p><p>It was if he wanted to say a little more but felt he couldn't, so I just matched his grasp to acknowledge his care.</p><p>I don't know what he meant but looking back now it could of been about what was coming , it was probably about Joon but I needed to find that out for myself.</p><p>I just let my feet head home and if Joon was waiting out there so be it , I would no doubt be craved sometime soon, so I just headed home.</p><p>The green flecks of paint on the ground outside the shop only mildly peaked my curiosity , I hadn't seen them before, but given all manner of shit is dropped around here , it could have been anything, and looking back I wish it was , for they were the breadcrumbs this little witch should have noticed , as they would follow me from here on out , even if they weren't intended for me.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 14- Summer Breeze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Smut, and sexiness always a good mix, and this is where things turn.<br/>we meet JK at last in a sudden introduction.<br/>This is also where other perspectives will be written in , as whilst this is Kat telling her story, there are elements to this story that she will not witness but will be key to the story and will show how everything is linked,<br/>it will be written from a third person narrative style, as if the reader is watching scenes from a movie, and as in a movie a lead character can tell the story but not have involvement in each part.<br/>also I'm trialling an idea of soundtrack suggestions and have even put together a Spotify play list .<br/>I thought this could be an interesting touch, as when I am writing I listen to music at same time and some songs I feel fit the mood.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The summer was ramping up and this little town was a buzz with every kind of person that you could imagine but that suited me fine as being in a crowd makes it easier to disappear.</p><p>Namjoon was to meet me later that night after work as it the Annual Lights festival in the town and there was always a rave on the beach each time the festival came, and well It would be a perfect time to flow into Joon again , and we could be in our blissful haze like everyone else and the warmer the weather was , the less I could acceptably wear and well I don't think either of us would complain.</p><p>The night was closing in and getting ready I was trying to tease Joon by text as much as I could , this is our game and I'm going to dick tease him all that I can.</p><p>He was trying to send me outfit ideas for him by MMS messages to which I just ignored and well some of them can go in the bean flicking bank for later , I mean a girl has needs right .</p><p>I painted the war paint on my face knowing full well if Namjoon gets hold of my face later , he may end up wearing it to, but heck I would be lying if I didnt want to cover areas of his body with it right now.</p><p>Yoongi was no where to be seen , but again he was the semi lodger and I guess he didnt owe me an explanation, but I made sure to put his favourite tuna in his dish and a couple of off ripe tangerines on the floor for him to play with.</p><p>I wanted to get work out of the way and get to the partying , and I packed all the necessary items in my handbag along with a bottle of water and slipped on the infamous boots that did the job in club Dark Hope and made my way towards the bar .</p><p>The air was awash with sirens, which normally didnt worry me too much, the world was a peaceful but violent place all the same and it didnt directly involve me so I tried to keep it out of my own eyeline for as long as I could, but lately it was getting closer.</p><p>The newspapers kept speaking of gang related violence, which again as I've said wasn't unusual for the world right now, and the crimes ranged from petty to pretty gruesome. I mean it was like whoever was doing this , was trying to make a point or just some noise. I didnt know but I would be lying if said it wasn't pricking my interest the closer it got to the hole I called my home.</p><p>Passing by the sirens, I tried to keep my eyeline away from the body bag on the floor , it wasn't my business to know and the path would be cleared soon enough and the regular drunk patrons would walk over the spot like nothing happened.</p><p>I felt a buzzing near my thigh, and I knew it was Joon ,and well lets see what the fucker wants</p><p>8.58pm </p><p>Namjoon: I will have you naked by the end of the night Jagi </p><p>I had become too accustomed to resigning myself to a sigh every time he did this </p><p>8.59pm</p><p>Kat: I don't think the boss wants me naked Joon</p><p>9.00pm</p><p>Namjoon: Well I will be your leader ,so drop them ;)</p><p>I wasn't going to dignify him with answer, I would let him stew , and no doubt he will be propping up the bar going over things in his head that he wants to do me that night , and well this kitty wasn't giving this snake anything to chew on right now.</p><p>The bar as expected was heaving and I got to work serving the most unpolite first knowing I could shot them down after many years of using my resting bitch face to perfection whenever anyone crossed a line. I was a person and I made sure they knew it and sometimes a sharp tongue needed to be used to get the point across.</p><p>But the festival kicked off before the bar was shut and the customers moved like the tide along the beach to the festival taking place at the base of the pier , and it gave me time to clear up and sort out the other barmaids and pay them and send them on their merry way.</p><p>Glasses washed , parasols placed in the shed and the shutter down I was half expecting to have Joon sliver up to me , in his smooth way of doing that, but he was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>So a text saying I would be at the festival was sent and I strolled along the beach , with the memories of my last pier visit flowing through my head , If only people knew I thought as I smiled and felt as if I could feel his hands on me again.</p><p>This fucker had a way of lingering even when he wasn't there physically and right now even the thought made my pulse go up.</p><p>I looked at the stars as if I would get answer as to exactly how he wormed his way in and why I now had a resident in the boyfriend slot of my life even if it was just an easy label to add.</p><p> Joon was there , just like I knew he would be, standing there like a portable orgasm just dripping in himself under the lights that where all around the rave .</p><p>Smile that made his dimples hit me like bullets and made me smirk and roll my eyes, I knew it made him even worse , I knew his triggers , I knew how to get his cock to twitch, I was learning quickly , benefit of being older I guess.</p><p>The 6ft asshole just stood there , his white jeans looking too good for words despite the fact I don't think anyone had worn those well since the 90s , and a black lined shirt that was barely buttoned and his biceps looked like they where in a choke hold by the sleeves and sliders , his hair looked wet but made me want to run my fingers through it and make his spine erect at just a touch, ha ha yes like I said I was learning , cats are smart after all he would probably would say.</p><p>He just looked me up and down and I did the same , both looking like we were going to eat well tonight .</p><p>'ready Jagi ' He said lacing his fingers into mine and placing his chest against mine.</p><p>'Can you dance Joon, is that in your many talents ' I said being sure to curl my tongue with intrigue at the end .</p><p>' I may well be a Dance Master Kat' he reposed .</p><p>He may have been lying but I sure knew my own body, I knew I was going to give this boy a run for his money tonight, a little payback was in order .</p><p>'Escape clause.......' I said looking into his eyes </p><p>' As always' He said handing me mine and I dutifully took it in tandem with him and arched myself upwards to almost kiss him but then just walk off to the dance area , and parted the crowd until I found us the perfect haven in the middle .</p><p>The hums of the music moved all around me and vibrated up and down my body and I felt that magnetic pull towards Joon , our tide peaking in waves.</p><p>*****SOUND TRACK SUGGESTION - RIHANNA - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN********</p><p>He laced his hands around me , caressing my naked waist and teasing the underside of the bra top I was wearing, his lips and tongue lapping at my neck as I grind my way into him, I wanted to make sure he was the most erect person here.</p><p>My arse did what it could to stir him and I pressed my hips into his and teased the movement , I wanted his dick to know I was in charge, I wanted to have his moans as my property but I wanted to tease him , so surely the eruption and the fucking would be extraordinary .</p><p>His mouth was pure poetry on me , his mouthed words in English and Korean with his lips onto my moist skin, he was writing his words with him hands, and I wanted to see my effect so I turned around.</p><p>Onyx eyes, both of us , deep and penetrating, matching the desire we wanted by the end of the night.</p><p>I stuck my tongue in his mouth and he returned the favour , his taste was indescribable and he drank every ounce of saliva I laced , I don't know if he was breathing for me or I was breathing for him, Haze was making us both standing orgasms at this point. My lipstick of course was making its mark where it could as intended.</p><p>I could feel his hands inside me even though they where around my ribs and one hand was caressing his breasts, I could feel him inside , He was lacing his senses through my skin and his action taking over my pulse.</p><p>I had to see my effect and not caring that I was surrounded by people I found my way past his waistband and I was met with the trophy of the night , He was leaking as much as I was , his pre cum sticking to his boxers , but I was after the real prize, his member and he did nothing to stop me, just breathing into me as if to breath permission .</p><p>The size seemed to grow as I softly touched the shaft, making his breath hitch and his face snarl , Haha Yes Joon I am good at this.</p><p>I could feel his blood rush , I could feel him filling up and I knew I could tease a little more my trailing my fingers slowly with a soft nail too against the outline of his protruding veins .</p><p>Joon couldn't speak and haze was making this easy work as I felt he wanted to orgasm right there and then, and I tried to speak into his eyes again but he was too far gone , and I felt the ribbons encase my hands and slide down the creases in my fingers, a nectar that I knew I had to share.</p><p>Joon could barely stand and I was proud of the efforts , He needed to know that sometimes I could control this addiction and that sometimes the control would be mine.</p><p>'Jagi' he gasped. </p><p>'I know , I know, now take it Joon...be a good boy ' I said with mischief in my tone.</p><p>I removed my fingers and traced his body up to his mouth, and with a glint of hunger in my eyes , and nodding at his face, I slowly penetrated his mouth with an index finger.</p><p>' Do you taste good Joon, is this addictive too? ' I said and laughed knowing I just had to tease him a little more for effect.</p><p>He suckled my finger with a few swipes of his tongue, he knew he was defeated, his own saltiness not making him break his gaze.</p><p>'Your turn Jagi..... ' He said trying to capture any missed particles from the side of his face and recapture his breath, I knew he liked himself but his taste he seemed to like a little too much.</p><p>and well I can play dirty Joon, and I will match your move .</p><p>I lapped the side of my wrist to taste him , all the time making sure to keep the seductive eye,  contact and keep the poor boy on his toes , I made sure to live up to my nickname and lick his traces off me like a good little kitty.</p><p>His pupils stayed focused on me , and grew dark and wide, like a new night to take me over, and he wanted to gain the upper ground on me.</p><p>My haze had ended at this point ,and I was running off pure adrenaline and pent up horniness , but I will keep teasing this man as long as I can.</p><p>He kissed me again, placing his hands around me to cup my arse on top of my denim shorts.</p><p>' You play a fair game Kitty Kat, and I do taste good don't I?' He said to start his new argument.</p><p>' You think you do' I retorted back to him trying to lick his teeth with every word.   </p><p>'You need licking....I mean Liquor ' he stumbled verbally to me.</p><p>' I wouldn't say no to warmth in my mouth right now Joon' I mused back and slid from is grasp towards the drinks van, already deciding on a cold beer.</p><p>Joon followed after me , and I bought my beer and he bought his and we sat down on a sun lounger to rest our come down souls and decide on the next course of action after we have quenched some physical thirst.</p><p>I tried to lay back on his resting body, my lungs catching their breath, and he was still a magnet to me and I knew my naked back could still give me the upper hand .</p><p>But like a game of chess , he matched the move well , placing his cold beer bottle between my shoulder blades , which made me jump and scream.</p><p>'Kitty we are in public , don't scream like that' He laughed to himself which only caused me to slap his thighs in defiance .</p><p>But fuck me, side note his thighs where hard as rocks  , kind of sort of hurt my hand as I wasn't expecting them to be that hard. Hmmmn no wonder when he fucks I felt like I was going to have a new vagina ripped into me. oh well I still have a few things to show you when it comes to fucking sweet boy, this is just the beginning.</p><p>The moments passed and the crowds did too and we just sat inhaling our own patch of stars and feeling the breeze drying our sweet whilst the light of the festival danced and bounced off those in attendance.</p><p>I'm sure we were both silently smiling so the other couldn't see, both in satisfaction with the other. I know I was but he wasn't going to see that. </p><p>It may have been minutes or a while that we were sitting there when our silence together was broken by Joon's phone, and I was surprised as normally it was me and I was kind of annoyed it wasn't just me.</p><p>Namjoon's face instantly changed but a little too quick for me to appropriately react, his eyes became sombre with a little anger in them and he hung up the phone and exhaled before speaking to me.</p><p>'Kat ....ummmmm...............I have to go....I'm sorry Jagi' he says with his eyes semi pleading at me to not question why.</p><p>'Don't worry I know my home home Joon' I said stoically.</p><p>His eyes looked remorseful but his mouth curled in a small smile as he leant forward to kiss me.</p><p>and with that he left as quick as his body could.</p><p>Maybe I should have asked what was up, but we are just a label, his life is his own , and I could always have fun on my own.</p><p>We had agreed to keep ourselves to each other but I didnt mind checking out the shop windows even with no intention of buying if you get my drift.</p><p>I looked like a lump just sitting there and taking the water bottle from my bag, I poured a little on my hair and let it flow down my back and then I placed a small portion into my hands knowing I had to wash some the dried cum off my hands as it has solidified into a noticeable form on my hands .</p><p>Getting up I straightened myself up and bought another drink, A vodka on the rocks again the poison of the evening, and well a girl came here to dance so lets do it .</p><p>The sand has become uneven with every passing person making the trips back and forth to the various stalls around the festival and I was a clumsy ass as much as the next person and well I wasn't one to ever watch where I was going and I really should.</p><p>I was met with a black shirt type wall which my drink met first and erupted over, and this wall of a person had literally appeared out of nowhere!.</p><p>'FUCK SAKE ' I yelled in as common an English accent as Id ever produced.</p><p>It was over me and the Black lace shirt in my eyeline , rolling off and part soaking in.</p><p>' Fuck I'm sorry, I'm a clumsy asshole ignore me' I said trying to wipe the mess off with my still wet hands.</p><p>' I've had worse' A silky voice said towards me.</p><p>The black lace wall had a face, encased in a black hair half held in a man bun which actually suited the face it was attached to. He looked no older than Joon and had intriguing eyes , and oddly an smile considering how I had just soaked him and wasted my drink.</p><p>'Its ok, half the people here are covered in their own sweat so this really doesn't make difference' He smiled revealing his teeth and his eyes pointing with curiosity.</p><p>Like I said all the men in this area seemed to be gorgeous and this guy was no exception, I mean fuck sake what is in the water here.</p><p>' A new drink perhaps ' He mused.</p><p>'Well ill buy, its only fair ' I said and asked his order.</p><p>' Soju, if they have it 'He said.</p><p>'Korean....By any chance' I posed.</p><p>'Well maybe my accent gave it away Noona ' he  answered with a bunny like chuckle.</p><p>I wasn't ready to go home and was still part coming down from Joon's sudden departure so I bought the drink and sat down to pass the time with this now drying stranger . I mean I was in the barmaid trade and could make small talk if I had to.</p><p>'I lost my manners with the dryness of my shirt ...I'm JK' said the man now sitting opposite me.</p><p>'Kat....Katalina' I said in response , taking a swig of my drink to break the eye contact.</p><p>I should have broken more than that looking back.</p><p> </p><p>Namjoon's scene:</p><p>'Jin ...JIN where are you' Namjoon yelled into the warehouse at the back of EATJINS .</p><p>' Fuck sake, Jin-ah Where are you' He continued , whilst navigating the tossed boxes that where all over the place .</p><p>Namjoon found him by the back door, bloodied nose and crying into this white overalls and sniffing more of the blood than he was exhaling.</p><p>'Namjoon-ah' He winced as he stood , trying to seem braver than he was able to at that moment.</p><p>' I had to call , there is no one else' He said, trying to stop himself from creating hysterics. </p><p>Namjoon pulled away what he could from the back door , and tried to reassure Jin best he could  and settled by him not caring if he was staining his white trousers in all that lay around them.</p><p>' What happened Jin....' Namjoon said to a calming Jin, gently resting a hand on Jins shoulder to steady and ground him.</p><p>'Joonah -  this is getting too close now , we need to get haze from somewhere else, I'm sorry, I want to help you, you are helping me after all' He said with a partial whine to his voice.</p><p>' Hyung , whatever we need to do we will, but I don't want this', or you like this ' Namjoon said offering a rag to Jin to wipe his noise.</p><p>'Who was it this time' Namjoon asked as he sat opposite Jin who now sitting outside on the steps that lead up to the delivery ramp door.</p><p>'I don't know, this is new , I haven't seen this, and I'm someone who helps a lot of different avenues Joon-ah, money is money and right now I need that' Jin responded .</p><p>'I've noticed Hyung, this is different at the moment, but we will find a way, I will keep you afloat, I Owe you, and you know I do ' Namjoon said trying to reassure Jin with his eyes trying to hide any anger.</p><p>As they rose and went back inside to clean ,shutting the door , aside it was a mark, a mark that was going to follow the pair before they even knew it was following them.</p><p>A star pattern of the deepest black and a jade tinge green, this was going to make its mark more than they could know right now . The past and the future would bleed into their present.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 15-  Follow the Rabbit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In enters JK aka Jungkook , and we see him start to speak with Kat after Namjoon's departure in the previous chapter.</p><p>The third party perspective at the end of this chapter, will reveal some interesting points and another character too.</p><p>in this story I have aged Jungkook's character up to meet some of the other characters and it will all become apparent as to why as the story goes on, as his real life age was a little too young for the back story I wanted to tell on him.</p><p>and as always this is a work of fiction and in no way does the behaviours and actions  described have any suggestion towards the boys in real life.</p><p>I am purely using their visuals and some little Easter eggs from some well known quotes and lyrics to add to the story.<br/>Enjoy and stay tuned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was sat there , soaking in the atmosphere same as me and I guess maybe waiting for his shirt to dry and well since Joon's untimely departure , I had some time to kill and I wasn't going to let his unpredictability send me home earlier than I had intended.</p><p>'So Jk .....does this festival blow or not' I said trying to swig more of my drink between glances.</p><p>'Guess it depends on the company' He responded grinning , showing those pearly white bunny teeth that didnt diminish his good looks at all.</p><p>'Hmmm yeah right, I have heard that before ' I rebuffed, remembering full well that Namjoon may have said that to me in the past.</p><p>'No not like that Noona, these are just people, they don't know each other, you can be all together or alone at things like this ' He said as if to appear philosophical.</p><p>'Hmm right' I said trying not to engage too much in conversation, as I guess, in my trade small talk was exactly that, it was small talk and they either wanted a free drink, or someone to dip their dick into and I wasn't in the mood.</p><p>'You seem a bit down ' He said , tilting his head slightly and his eyes monitoring me.</p><p>'If that's what you call it ' I said scoffing, and I was sure I was trying to be a bitch to anyone at that point as I was on my own , and a little deflated.</p><p>' Can I hazard a guess.... ' he said softly.</p><p>'Maybe you wont like the answer, I don't want to offend your species' I semi snapped back at him.</p><p>'I'm guessing its a guy ' he said still smoothly.</p><p>'Bingo for the bunny' I responded half laughing at my own joke.</p><p>He just sat watching me and I noticed between every swig of the drink that I was trying to make last longer as I just didnt want to go home and mope, or worse have to go home and take out the vaginal tension I had been left with.</p><p>JK was just sitting there , and it was like I was to lead the conversation, I wasn't getting much of a vibe of him, it was like he had a forcefield behind his smile that I couldn't or didnt want to see.</p><p>I exhaled and started to talk more once I felt the warmth of the alcohol melting my resting bitch face a little.</p><p>'Yes a guy 'I said breaking through my own breath.</p><p>'Boyfriend??' He posed.</p><p>'Its the label of the moment ' I said finishing my drink and placing the glass in the sand and then resting my elbows on my own knees and running my fingers through my hair beforehand .</p><p>'Labels , huh, yeah I know that one, they can make you good or bad in an instant 'he said matching my drinking pattern and placing his empty bottle by his black leather boots.</p><p>' So Kat, do you live here ......' he lead on.</p><p>'Yeah for now I do, I'm not from around here honestly' I said knowing he kind of already knew that given my accent didnt match up to the local sounds.</p><p>'Me neither , and well you could tell I know...... ' He said .</p><p>'Yeah I had noticed, there is a Korean community somewhat here ' I responded with a small smile </p><p>'A melting pot indeed 'He said shifting his balance and sitting more upright .</p><p>'I'm new to town myself ' he said, ' Just testing out some new business opportunities you could say' He led on.</p><p>I just gave verbal nods when he spoke , as I wasn't trying to make this lead down the same road as Namjoon, even if this guy was drop dead gorgeous, I wasn't looking for more than a window shop experience at this point, and right now I didnt even want to have my face near the window of any shops in my mind.</p><p>Time was flowing and we sat silently for a little while, just watching the other humans sway in and out of each other, like watching birds bobbing on a lake . I think he could tell that my mind was else where, and he didnt pry , he didnt seem to want to , it was like he could already tell what I was thinking , or maybe he was window shopping to at that point.</p><p>Sirens where still in the air, sometimes so loud as if they where to ripple the clouds overhead, no doubt another body bag was being laid somewhere tonight, or it was another break-in, or another car fire, or any manner of things that I had read in the paper, but didnt care to know the ins and outs of. They didnt seem to be heading to the festival, they didnt need to , this was a licensed event with security and nothing more than a bunch of random humans having a good night....well all except me at this point.</p><p>'Trouble always seems to wash in sometimes doesn't it ' He said , breaking me from my own silence as he partially turned to see which direction the sirens where coming from, but not appearing to bothered by them.</p><p>'Trouble always finds what it is after Jk....' I said trying not to snort to show I must of known what I was on about. </p><p>'Sounds like the voice of experience there Kat' He said trying to catch my glance.</p><p>' 34 years of Bullshit will do that to you kiddo.....' I said fidgeting with my own position of how I was sitting and half debating in my own head if I should just go home now before I bored another soul with my existence. </p><p>'I would never had assumed Noona !' He said placing his hands on his chest to act out he was comedically shocked.</p><p>and that did get a small sarcastic laugh out of me, which was not an easy task</p><p>'I'm guessing you aren't as experienced as me in that department then...'I said posing it as a question. </p><p>'Me ...no I'm a mere junior , 26 years young' He said taking his hands down and lacing them together.</p><p>' Well don't grow up JK , its a fucking trap' I said in response.</p><p>'Noted Noona' He laughed back at me , his laugh not matching his smouldering eyes that could switch from their previous innocence in as swift movement as a blink.</p><p>'Well JK, as smooth as this has been , I'm going to go, go some ...ummmmm... business to take care of ' I said raising myself up and adjusting myself and my clothing so I could make a successful getaway.</p><p>'Let me walk you out of this din first, you don't know who could be lurking' He said looking down at me with his bunny like grin returning.</p><p>I wasn't in the mood to argue so I gestured him to go ahead of me.</p><p>He walked softly, the slightly raised heels of his boots sinking in the sand , and his hair blowing slightly the more wind we seemed to catch ,and his shirt every now and again catching the wind to , and drying more each time.</p><p>I tried to keep my distance, I was somewhere else in my mind and I wanted to stay in that place , but I always kept an eye to my side in case this man went bad and tried his luck. I had learned in my past to never trust anyone even if their intentions where true and I didnt want to test it tonight.</p><p>' So Kat , where to' he said , after we had walked a good stretch of beach </p><p>' I'm going home, but thanks I guess ' I said , noticing a new person coming towards us and coming behind JK, and catching his attention, and I knew this would be a good opportunity to gain the path home on my own</p><p>' Fine , well good night...Its been nice ' he said as I walked off  and no doubt watching my steps away.</p><p>I didnt go the usual way, too many people, and I liked being invisible, it was part of keeping me safe , and apart from Yoongi I didnt knowingly let people know where I lived.</p><p>Maybe in part it was because I sublet the apartment from Mr Min and I didnt want him to get in trouble from our little arrangement.</p><p>I respected he was helping me out just as much as I was him and he wasn't trying to rip me off . I mean those 4 walls weren't the Hilton that's for sure but It was a bolt hole for the hidden souls that didnt want to be found.</p><p>Namjoon may or may not have remembered his way there , from when we flowed into my home that fateful night, but he hadn't been back since and right now in my mood , Id want to drown the fucker in the sink if I saw him, but not after getting what I was after tonight.....GRRRR Fuck sake Namjoon, why ....anyways...</p><p>But he will have to answer to be later, I'm too wired yet again from him, and well if I am an addiction , why did drop me like a hot sack of shit tonight, a million thoughts swirling didnt help me shift the pent up aggression in me. He may have had a good reason, I don't know, But I shouldn't be feeling like this over a label of a man, this isn't the way to do things girl.</p><p>Fuck it Kat, just go home, give yourself a well deserved finger blast and go to bed and deal with shit in the morning, Leave tonight in tonight.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************</p><p> </p><p>JK's Perspective -</p><p>He watched as Kat left and watched her every step as she wandered out of sight, his eyes moving from sweet to sinister the more her steps left him and he just breathed through his teeth with his tongue lacing them from behind.</p><p>He changed his stance, as if shaking off his previous persona , to meet the person coming up to him from behind , from caring to upright and authoritative. </p><p>He was met by another male, head to toe in black leather , with a white and black shirt underneath, looking as sinister as Jk now did, but equally as dark and attractive in his own slender way.</p><p>'Who was that' The new man said as if to be disgusted by the presence of a woman near his friend.</p><p>'Maybe an opportunity ..who the fuck knows Tae....fucking ....anyways '  Jk half spat in response.</p><p>'Well we do like branching out ' Tae responded with a darkness to his smile .</p><p>'Anyways lets forget about that bitch ,there is plenty more to get from town, I'm sure....anyway Tae is it done??' Jk asked  matching eyes with Tae and wanting an answer.</p><p>' Like a fucking treat' Tae laughed .</p><p>'Good.....I think we are going to like it here ' Jk said starting to walk away to a nearby car , a vintage black Mercedes that looked like it may have seen better days but still had the appeal to get just about anyone into it .</p><p>'Maybe we will find everything we are looking for ' Jk said once he got in the car and Tae sat alongside him, Tae trying to wipe his hands on a rag in the glove box, small flecks of paint on his nails he was trying to wipe away. </p><p>JK noticed and rolled his eyes at Tae</p><p>' Don't tell me you are still doing that Tae , this isn't the fucking movies ' JK scoffed.</p><p>'But its fun Hyung, and well its an art....pretty colours and pretty screaming...I fucking love it  ' Tae mused back.</p><p>'Everything we do is an art , like my father used to say' Jk said grasping the steering wheel and posing to start driving away.</p><p>' But at least blood washes off better than this painting shit' Tae said ending with a manic laugh with his hands in front of his face like a hyper child showing they painted every inch of their palms and then his expression changed and led into that lead of a straight face .</p><p>' Well we will paint .....this place looks like a good place to decorate, now we've laid some ground work' Jk said with his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel and smirking at Tae .</p><p>' Everything will be art ' Jk said as he started the car up and drove off.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 16- A Home Parallel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We see the next days events, and Kats observation of the world around her as she craves a break.<br/>But Namjoon stays in the shadows waiting for Kats return, knowing he must gain her trust back again , even if he cant offer an explanation that she would understand.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time to ignore your phone Kat!! hell even let the battery run out, just don't answer him, let him simmer and let him feel what you felt last night!</p><p>But he was relentless , even to the point of heating my phone up, from the never-ending texts.</p><p>They came in all sorts , different phrases , some Korean text which he knew I wouldn't understand , but he was surely trying to see if I would respond.</p><p>7.01am </p><p>Namjoon - Jagi, Good morning.</p><p>8.01am</p><p>Namjoon - Kat , are you ok?</p><p>8.23am</p><p>Namjoon - Jagi, please answer me</p><p>8.39am </p><p>Namjoon - Jagi </p><p>8.45am</p><p>Namjoon - Jagi , now please</p><p>9.01am </p><p>Namjoon - Kat , please</p><p>9.05am</p><p>Namjoon - Kat , what is this , are you ok?</p><p>9.27am</p><p>Namjoon -Kat stop fucking about Jagi</p><p>9.39am</p><p>Namjoon - 지금 이 에 대한 답변 (answer this now)</p><p>I just sat watching it , and had turned my read receipts off so he would have been stewing just a little bit more , after all , if he can leave me hanging , I'm going to do the same. I wanted to make him want his addiction again, I had been left to sort myself out last night and I wouldn't have been too much hassle to even make up a bullshit lie, but no you just left , so stew fucker, I am going to get on with my day as this is a day off for me and I'm not having a tease ruining my day .</p><p>But he didnt give up , and after throwing on some clothes and making sure Yoongi had some food , as I didnt know how long I would be gone, I left and decided a day of actual shopping would be the call of the day , after all, my money was mine and the only pleasure I could truly count on was some good old shopping.</p><p>Granted there wasn't the grandest selection in this town but  a short bus ride could sort that, and the terminal was about 7 mins or so from the hole I called home, so wearing my battered white converse , I headed that way. I needed my feet to take me away from this place today and I didnt want to encourage any blister considering I'm always on my feet.</p><p>The bus was quiet , and filled with different walks of life, I didnt tend to speak to people, It wasn't a custom here to speak or really make noise on public transport and you only really ever needed to move for an elder or someone who was pregnant , but I just popped in my ear pods and let the bus hum along until I got to where I was going.</p><p>My phone could be heard on the bus, it hummed in my lap through the leather of my bag, and I knew I had to cut this off today , so I took it out , mouthing 'fuck you' like Namjoon could see me , and placed it on Airplane mode , I didnt need his interruption, I didnt need anything else in my head.</p><p>The scenery changed the more we got away from the beach and changed from open spaces to a mishmash of modern buildings, all with their fluorescents showing their goods even though it was day time, people seemed a little more animated and focused here, and it seemed like you could breath easier even though the traffic was a lot more dense.</p><p>anyways I Iet my legs take me into any shop that caught my eye and tried to distract my mind , and the mission was to spend as much money as I could and make myself feel a little more wanted that I currently did.</p><p>Don't get me wrong, I am not a big spender, I squirrel tips away and I spend when I've reached a certain level. I always kept up appearances and made sure to clothe myself and enjoy my body that so many in the past had tried to make me hate.</p><p>Time flew by and hours rolled into hours , and the weight in my arms got heavier and heavier , and I did forget about my phone, I did forget about Namjoon momentarily and my mind felt freer than it had in a while , but just like a haze high, its superficial and wouldn't last long.</p><p>But of course the drawing hours passed and the inevitable stomach rumbles came forth and I decided to sit down and eat and rest my bone, before making the journey home, and there was several places that could satisfy the need I had .</p><p>' Blueberry eyes it is' I said to myself as I headed into the slightly more business end of town which was at the back of the main shopping fairway, but it was worth it, this place did the best pancakes and waffles and well anything that was battered and could be fried was done here , and always with loads of added sugar, which I wouldn't say no to.</p><p>The sun was lowering past the crest of the buildings and it was a lot cooler now ,something I was grateful for and the ice in my drink I just dwelled on , it was soothing and I just sat to pass the time.</p><p>There were no sirens here, just the sound of human interaction, the occasional laugh, the senseless but harmless chatter floated in the air and I just sat and people watched , it was nice , a bit like watching a movie , but I could be an anonymous viewer as no one really paid attention to the short Italian woman who was enjoying a sugar high with a mass of shopping bags around her like a child's fort.</p><p>As the sun descended , the business men and woman started to pour out the buildings and into the streets and that was my cue to leave , my attire wouldn't mesh well with their attitudes and words under muttered breath was something I didnt want to hear right now.</p><p>I didnt give an upward glance , until familiar voice on a phone jerked my attention, and I had only really heard it once before. I was standing at the bus terminal and taking my last few moments of peace before I got on the bus , I saw across the road and decided I wasn't going to make myself know, but clear as day it was Hobi, the new owner of club Dark Hope.</p><p>'Hmm' I said quietly to myself , he was dressed a little differently but it wouldn't surprise me if the club was a side venture for him, or maybe he was on his way back from a date, an interview, a funeral or wedding, heck who knows , I met the guy once , and well I need to stop introducing myself to people. </p><p>The bus was a little more packed on the way home but I managed to maintain my own space at the back, as being the last stop I knew I wouldn't have to get up for anyone and could just sit and stare out the window if needed to ,and watch the scenery revert to that little town of home.</p><p>People shuffled on and off, demeanours changed, you could see the money flow away the further away you got from the start of the journey, the car horns returned, the conversations outside changed and the attitudes of the passengers changed with every new embarking person.</p><p>I just kept my head down, it was a well practised tactic, any noise around me didnt involve me so I just stayed in the corner watching.</p><p>It seemed to take longer to get home, no doubt some rush hour traffic causing a jam, or maybe a crash, or someone making a scene, but the bus was warm and well it was dry to , the sea air had brought in a summer storm and the rain could be heard dancing on the roof of the metal bus and the raindrops streamed their way down the windows and made their own routes to the bottom of their journey , catching the light of the traffic passing by as they did.</p><p>The closer we got to home, those little window streams caught blue flecks which weren't the lightening striking out at sea, so I knew my inner assumptions had been right and another crime happened tonight and held the traffic up.</p><p>I disembarked , trying very hard not to hit any of the passengers upon my exit , as whilst I wanted to be invisible I wasn't wanting to ignite any arguments, I just want to get off the bus and move as quickly as I could to get home before the bags became water floats and paper Mache and also converse, despite mines tattered appearance are a right balls ache to get dry. </p><p>The step off was interrupted when I was almost knocked off my feet by two police officers holding a screaming man.</p><p>'Woo what the fuck' I yelled in surprise as I hadn't seen them coming into my direction, but in retrospect, saying fuck in front of a police officer probably isn't the best move.</p><p>I just glared as I didnt even get a sorry, but not that I was expecting one, but my eyes followed the man, who was borderline feral being held by two smaller male police officers who were trying hard to restrain him.</p><p>He was clearly not in the moment, he was somewhere else, the whites of his eyes clearer than the lightening in the distance, and pools of spit running from the side of his raging mouth. I could tell this was a chemical induced behaviour, and again one of the reasons I keep my highs on the floating side of things , and well the horny side of things lately , but this man was clearly troubled , and my heart may have even twanged at the thought of his uncontrollable torment seeping through his eyes.</p><p>He just rambled and I couldn't quiet make out what he was saying , even when was trying to head butt the rim of the car door to stop himself being piled in , and not caring the crevice he was carving in his head.</p><p>He managed to catch the eyes of one of the officers , and in clear English howled as much as he could .....''JADE ENGIMA.......STOP ....STOP....JADE.....AHHHHHH' his screaming descending as he was thrown in the back of the car and then was driven off, still headbutting the glass from the inside decorating the inside window.</p><p>Wow fuck , I thought to myself, I had no idea what that was, and why did he yell that , and after a moment or two I just shook my head to bring sense to myself and stepped under the bus shelter , to finally acknowledge my phone before I went home , I knew , especially after what I just saw, having my phone ready would be the safer way to get home.</p><p>and of course, the airplane mode had done as I had intended and kept Joon at bay, but his messages flooded my inbox, and well the plan worked and I was being chased again , in varying  stylings ranging from apologetic , to borderline aggressive , to booty call, to demanding, all spread across almost 136 messages , and it took a few minutes for all the messages to pile into my inbox.</p><p>Yes Joon , pay back is a bitch I thought to myself once I found a gap in the showers I ran home at a quick pace and got home , and fumbled to find the keys that had snaked their way to the bottom of my bag.</p><p>I should have anticipate what happened next, It was a classic move , but from the shadow of the corner of the top of the apartment stepped , a wet and angry looking Namjoon sat against the wall , stirring as I opened the door.</p><p>'Fuck sake ...what'  I said almost spitting in his direction on the floor.</p><p>' Well you didnt answer ' He said sounded like he would return the venom to.</p><p>' well isn't that a shame, being left not knowing an answer' I said with my freshly brewed sarcasm, 'well at least one of us is wetter than last night ' I said hurrying to get into the apartment before he could stand and follow me. I wanted to slam the door in the fuckers face.</p><p>' Jealous are we' He said catching the door as I tried to close it.</p><p>'Joon' I said trying to yank the door from his clutches, hoping his wet fingers would loosen the grip  and maybe he would fall his clumsy arse down the steps behind him.</p><p>'Well do I get an explanation, Did you get addicted elsewhere , huh' I said staring him dead in the eyes .</p><p>'You know me better than that Jagi' he said looking down his brow at me and trying to calm my face that was intent on punching him with my thoughts.</p><p>'Do I ,Do I' I scoffed letting go of the door half expecting him to come into the apartment , whilst I went inside and through the bags in had huddled up under my arms on the bed .</p><p>But he didnt he just stood holding the door open with one elbow and breathing heavily so as to hide his frustration.</p><p>' I thought you were hurt , I needed to make sure you where ok' He said lowering his tone of voice and slowing his breath.</p><p>'yeah I got your texts Joon' I said flinging my phone on the couch to signal to him that I didnt care, even if deep down I did.</p><p>' I had to go last night and I couldn't explain to you' he said with a hint of remorse.</p><p>' Yeah that's right we are labels, and well you don't owe me anything , except last night I was the one doing all the work' I said moving closer to the door , trying to see if he would step back and just let me end the night , my arms crossed with keys still in my hand , he didnt move.</p><p>' You will know I'm telling the truth, or you would have already slammed the door in my face' He responded to my stance </p><p>' I was helping a friend, nothing more, You are my sole addiction , like we agreed ' He said in a softening tone , trying to add some reassurance to the air around us.</p><p>I just stood there trying to slow my breath and not give an ounce of feeling away as to how his tactics where working inside my mind.</p><p>'Ok....Fine' I said in a sharp tone.</p><p>'What can I do to gain your trust ' He said gesturing and shifting his body so as to lean against the door frame , his wet body showing through his white shirt and his jeans sounding heavier through the water they had absorbed.</p><p>' well getting out of my house would be an idea I said ' Signalling him to move his namtits out of of my door frame.</p><p>' Hmmm there is an idea, Ill show you' He said matching my stance and staring me down.</p><p>'What ' I said , not quiet understanding what I was hearing .</p><p>He just yanked my hand and pulled me into him, knowing he could break down my walls with his looks pouring into me and his wet chest meeting my bare elements of flesh on display.</p><p>' Got your keys Jagi ' he said purring and trying to place a kiss to coerce me .</p><p>Fuck sake its working, and well what did he have to show me , and what we he going to do, fuck just go ahead Kat, this fucker isn't going to let you sleep either way.</p><p>' Fine ....fuck sake' I said fetching my bag again and turning to see if Yoongi was around and had what he needed, and locking my door and turning off the lights after swatting the switch a few times</p><p>'You need to follow me Katalina ' He said making sure I noticed he said my full name, and starting to head down the metal stairs in front of my apartment, his hands on both bannisters grabbing so as to have the water run over his hands as the rain continued to land and soak into his shirt more.</p><p>He made no attempt to hold me , or come near me and just checked back every now and again to make sure that I was still keeping in step with him, He just walked , occasionally lifting his head to breath in the rain and cool his ego with every step.</p><p>We walked for what seemed like ages and the rain abated and came back in regular succession , but I was past caring by the end of it .</p><p>We came to an old car yard, scrap metal everywhere and the sounds of the town around us hidden but the wooden fencing all around.</p><p>'This is what you wanted to show me ' I said in surprise once he had keyed in a code to make it to the back of the yard.</p><p>' I wanted to show you that you can trust me if you want to' He said turning to try and hold my hand ' </p><p>'Huh' I just mused back.<br/>We were standing in front of a battered blue and grey trailer, its patio was crates and plants surrounded it with breeze blocks acting as planters and a few deck chairs no doubt squandered from some of the local bars littered outside.</p><p>' Like you Kat, I know how to hide , I have my own hole too' He said lifting keys from his sodden pocket and opening the door.</p><p>'Now you know how to find me just like I found you' He said , gesturing with a slightly raised hand toward me.</p><p>' Come inside , I like you wetter inside ' He smirked , trying to break the tension.</p><p>He did an ok job at that, and well we had another parallel now , He too hid in plain sight, he lived close enough to the main parts , but could sliver away when he needed to, our penny sides where matching up more and more even if I was trying to ignore it.</p><p>He had shown me more of him, he was trying to gain my trust, something that we both agreed on in this addiction arrangement ,and I did trust him a little , and wanting to stop myself getting ill from the relentless ran I stepped inside Namjoon's Home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 17 -  Whisper into me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is long chapter and it is rather smutty .<br/>The descent from fucking into love making has begun but do Kat or Namjoon acknowledge that.</p><p>=====contains graphic depictions of sexual activity===========</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I don't know what I was expecting stepping into this home of his , what would I find, and what was he trying to show me to get him to trust me.</p><p>It was dark and a lot bigger than I thought it would be looking from the outside, it turns out actually extended our the back of the trailer too.</p><p>'Please Kat, make yourself at home' He said gesturing for me to walk in further than the doorway that I was standing in , whilst he placed his keys down on a small table by the side of a rather impressive kitchenette.</p><p>'So this is your home Joon...' I said slowly taking tentative steps inside and half dragging each step and letting my eyes adjust to their new surroundings.</p><p>It wasn't what I was expecting at all, It was softer than the images I had in my head and certainly didnt match up to his outward appearance.</p><p>It was clean , everything had its place , even if the interior was dated , it was more homely than I would have given him credit for.</p><p>' Kat, please ....' He said coming up to my side and trying to hold one of my hands , which I resisted but it worked enough to get me to sit down in a small wicker chair , that had a knitted brown and white blanket draped over it , and it was comfy even if I was perching as close to the edge as I could.</p><p>He was soaked from head to toe much like I was , and he was standing against the kitchenette trying to catch his breath, with a look on his face that he was slightly anxious someone was in his space, and he breathed to match mine in the awkward silence that was in the air in his home , before either one of us mustered the power to speak to break it.</p><p>'This is my home, for now at least, my own bolt hole, and its what it needs to be' he said , shaking his head gently to remove the water from his hair which was started to trace down his forehead.</p><p>' So where was home Joon' I said softly but with little emotion.</p><p>' Ilsan , South Korea originally, I grew up there with my family' He said , but breaking his posture to look at the floor to cut himself off from saying more.</p><p>' Family?' I said to him.</p><p>' Yes family, but only in the DNA sense of the word ' He said with a look of sadness mildly in his eyes , that seemed to ask me not to ask more.</p><p>' I know that feeling' I said to match his expression, knowing that at least we had this in common.</p><p>I was starting to adjust to the temperature in the trailer , but didnt want to let on that I was starting to feel cold as the rain soaked through to the bones of me, I didnt want to cause any emotion from him in this setting that I wasn't familiar in.</p><p>So I just stood up figuring that if I was moving I would warm up a bit more.</p><p>Joon noticed me move but like a silent bird just stayed in his spot monitoring me as I started to look around.</p><p>Like I said this place was bigger than it looked, 1 possibly 2 bedroom that lead off a small corridor at the end of the kitchenette at the far end , and the walls where brown as if the had been painted or laminated to look like wood panelling.</p><p>No photographs that I could see, but so many books , stuffed into various shelves around the main room which served as the living room , with small desk in the corner, adorned in paper , and pens and various works in progress I'm guessing.</p><p>Art was on the walls, but not in frames, it was more magazine clippings and tattered scraps that pleased the eye from a a variety of different mediums and artists, clippings that seemed handwritten poems in hangul mainly.</p><p>Namjoon was deeper than I thought, he seemed to like things that pleased his eyes , he seemed to write too, which surprised me as I had only seen the extent of his writing in text.</p><p>He was standing behind me whilst I observed the book titles and ran my fingers across the base of their spines, intrigued to know how they entered Joon's mind.</p><p>He placed his hand gently on my belt line and leaned one hand against the book shelf</p><p>' You could say I'm obsessed with the thought of humans and their inner workings , even if I don't like feeling myself most of the time' He said without meeting my eyeline, instead his gaze floating over the spines themselves.</p><p>'No cook books though' I posed as I became more aware of his hand ,and turned to return to the chair I had sat on , despite a brown leather sofa, much like my own being in front of me below the shelves. </p><p>' I don't cook really, I can barely chop an onion and once I placed my hands in boiling water to fetch noodles ' He chuckled as he also to turned and sat down opposite me and then realising he had made him self look a bit of a fool.</p><p>' Well one less thing we have in common' I said trying to hide my smile at the thought of this freak yelping after he realised the water must have been hot.</p><p>' I learned to cook when I was kid , I used to stand and watch my nonna cook everything and she would let me help to keep my away from brothers ' I said letting myself get carried away with giving an answer, but I was letting slip more than casual memories and slightly shaking as the coldness of my skin sunk in more.</p><p>' Kat, you're cold' He posed and slid closer to me.</p><p>' Well we both kind of swam here , I didnt know you were going to bring me across town ' I said shooting a glare at him.</p><p>'Yes should have caught a water ferry' He said trying to be funny.</p><p>' Ill be fine' I said trying to change the subject.</p><p>' Maybe a drink will help, and I feel I owe you kitty after leaving so abruptly last night' he said softly trying to warm me with his words.</p><p>'Its none of my business where you were, I just thought....' I said before stopping and giving him ground.</p><p>' You can trust me Jagi , I promise you that, this is me showing you, that even if you see me , I am somewhere and now you know where to find me ' He said trying to comfort me from the obvious disdain on my face.</p><p>' Bathroom ' I said, ' I think drying my hair a little is gonna help a bit' I said standing , with Joon matching me and coming up to me as if to guide me.</p><p>' End of the hallway , 2nd door on the right' He said standing close to my side.</p><p>I broke away from him and stepped into the bathroom, truth being I was making an excuse to get some space from him</p><p>I just placed my hands on his sink and looked into the broken mirror of the medicine cabinet in front me.</p><p>'What are you doing here Kat' I said to myself as I sat back on the closed toilet and wiping the rain from my face and leaning my back against the cold cistern tank and trying to figure out my next move, but it didnt work and time just passed and I knew it would be awkward the longer I stayed still.</p><p>I just slid the bathroom door to be met with a shirtless Namjoon in the entrance, which made me slightly inhale sharper than I intended .</p><p>' ummmmm..., yeah better' I said as I moved past him with my skin barely touching his in the transit.</p><p>' What would you like to eat Kat' He said following me as I tried to find something different to look at rather than him.</p><p>But it was futile, I knew in my head that all of this was, I just tried to fill my eyeline with anything other than Joon right now.</p><p>'Music ' He said when I was looking at a small apparently hand carved rack on the wall .</p><p>He seemed to gravitate towards me and meet my back with barely and inch between my body and his , his belt and buckle slightly tapping against the top of my pant line, making my breath unconsciously hitch.</p><p>' Music , is artificial feelings and I can listen and fall into any persona I want' He said as his breath slid down my back and into my thoughts in the process.</p><p>' You like words ' I said trying to stabilise my breath </p><p>' only the ones I can relate to , and the good thing about words is you can choose what to say in place of what you feel' He said sliding his hand up the side of my shorts and his fingers toying with the wetness and his touch delicate enough to know he was going to bring warmth if he could.</p><p>His chest breathed in its syncope with the energy of his heart twitching under his bare chest.</p><p>I could feel the pull of his tide , his soft air blowing its way down my spine and warming the skin as it snaked down to find a destination to hit.</p><p>' You still cold Kat, or do you trust me' He said placing his other hand in symmetry and easing me slowly towards him, penetrating any remaining invisible barrier I left .</p><p>' In theory ..' I said trying to resist but failing.</p><p>' Well I can warm you Jagi, and we have yet to see each other fully' He said his lips almost caressing my earlobe.</p><p>' is that right' I said not giving a yes or a no to the question he posed.</p><p>'But of course , we need to be careful, too much heat can burn us ' He said in a lower tone, which I swear to god made my clit jump a few inch away from where it normally sits.</p><p>' Escape clauses are just ....that...' I said as I noticed his fingers tracing my pant line with the soft head of his nails.</p><p>From his pocket he found our promise to each other, and with his hands guiding his intention up to my shoulder he handed me the agreement that stopped us from being too in our own heads .</p><p>I should have stopped as I could already feel the grounds of something building in my stomach as I tried to stop myself falling deeper with Namjoon, but like the moon to my tide I couldn't stop myself from floating and I placed the haze in my mouth , turning to feel the breeze of Joon's warm breath , blow its warmth into me.</p><p>=====SOUND TRACK SUGGESTION - MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS  - FEAR AND LOATHING ====</p><p>I knew there was no turning back and I didnt want to as I felt the pulse in my grow .</p><p>' Do you trust me 'He said teasing my face with his lips mere millimetres from my own.</p><p>'Uh huh' I ached in response</p><p>' Then I can take you tonight ' He said purring and closing his eyes so as to anchor me in his intoxication.</p><p>'Show me' I said , to be met with ' Ill show you' He said ending his words with his tongue gracing my lips gently.</p><p>I used my hands and traced the length of his torso, being careful to not pay too much physical attention to some scars I could feel under the skin of my palms. </p><p>His breath hitched as I found his ribs, and switched to lightly tracing each step with my nails , so lightly as to not leave a mark, I wanted to tease and I wanted to feel his nipples grow under my warm palms and feel his heart tremble under my silky gestures.</p><p>' Jagi' He softly gasped running his hands up my spine in an answer which made my spin break its posture and slide onto him , his eyes poisoning me and pulling me in.</p><p>He dove into my mouth and brought his hands into my hair and he held me in place as if I was the only oxygen he could breath, but to me he felt like the water I needed to survive.</p><p>I moved my hands down to his waistline, I needed something to anchor me and hold onto as I felt the waves of his tongue teasing mine.</p><p>He was becoming harder and I could tell as it pressed for an escape , but was stopped by his belt holding his slightly loose jeans in place.</p><p>He noticed my move and step holding me , backwards into his bedroom, breaking his placing on me to turn me around so I could see my surroundings.</p><p>' There isn't a dress code in here' He melted jokingly into my ear, pawing at my skin whilst he awaited for permission to go further.</p><p>' Well we need to resolve that then, rules are rules' I said with humour in my breath and the haze hitting my every nerve ending so I could soar without care.</p><p>His hands made quick work of removing my top and bra in one motion, stopping briefly to place them momentarily into my mouth as if he wanted to gag me, and well....the way I was going I wouldn't have stopped him in the slightest, but he continued and removed them along with any inhibitions I had and ran his hands back down my raised hands and finding his way to my breasts which he gently pawed at whilst feeding his need at my neck.</p><p>I moaned and tried to keep as stable as I could on my feet ,but the haze was working a little too well right now.</p><p>I spun round slowly and placed my hands around his neck, lightly flicking the back of his undercut with the tips of my fingers , which brought a shiver to his body and a smile to my face meeting his intoxicating haze drunk eyes.</p><p>He sunk down and placed his needy mouth in between my breasts and softly licked any wetness away and replaced it with his own , and danced his mouth around each breast ,in turn finding my cold nipples and embracing them fully with his mouth and drinking them in with his tongue.</p><p>I couldn't make a sentence, I couldn't even remember my primary language at this point, I just knew I wanted to keep speaking to him like this. I held my hands laced in his hair, holding him close like my anchor.</p><p>He moved his hands down, finding the opening of my shorts and making little work of opening them and running his hands down either side and causing them to fall further down me , I was overwhelmed and let his face meet mine again , his eyes dark and thirsty and begging for my sensation. This man is addicted and I am too.</p><p>I just stared into those orbs looking down at me and slowly worked the belt to open and move to one side and I too matched him movement and removed his jeans , to reveal our next step, growing ever closer to a destination we both sought.</p><p>He had forgotten his underwear I'm guessing but I didnt care, it was one less obstacle.</p><p>His eyes didnt move from me , and I knew that I could do anything right now , so lets flip things Joon, time for you to feel me first.</p><p>after placing a soft kiss on his lips , I slid down his chest and lowered myself onto the foot of his bed , and just curled the corners of my mouth in a smile up to him.</p><p>He knew what was coming and he followed the outline of my face with his thumb and placed them gently on my lips which I accepted with a gentle peck.</p><p>I moved swiftly and closing my eyes , for whatever reason I don't know why, I wrapped my mouth around him so quickly that his balance was unstable, His whole member shook and throbbed as I traced every vein with my tongue and let my warm saliva swim around the head of his dick.</p><p>His breath grew and his grasp tightened around my head , but that's ok, I like to know I'm onto a good spot and I had him just where I wanted him, I was in charge at this moment and he knew it.</p><p>I wanted to bring him to the brink, I let him twitch all over my tongue and grace the back of my throat, where luckily my gag reflex was well trained to ignore any intrusions.</p><p>He was building and so was I , my wetness seeping into his bedsheets and slowly gaping knowing I wanted to feel all of me in him once again.</p><p>He couldn't make a noise that made sense and shuddered with every other breath which grew in frequency until he could take it no more and he pushed me off of his member with an fierceness in his eyes , to be met with my sarcastic grin.</p><p>' Bad Kitty' He gasped and with a swift motion held my hair tight at the back of my head which surprised me and I just laughed, I was good and I knew it which only made his expression more feral.</p><p>He moved to his knees and grabbed my chin , lacing my mouth once angry with his hunger and he moved like a dark tide and guided me back onto this bed , our naked bodies meeting together and melting together.</p><p>' I think you need to know who is in charge here' He growled into my mouth and reaching behind him, to the belt that was on the floor. I just kept my gaze as he moved ,.....hmmm really Joon, is this how we are playing it , ok game on , I thought to myself .</p><p>' You need to trust me ' He said hovering over me, his sweat dripping onto my naked skin.</p><p>' Do you worst' I laughed and smiled .</p><p>' You asked for it Jagi' He said quickly grabbing my hands and looping the belt around my wrists and tightening them to the point they were a little uncomfortable.</p><p>He held my hands above my head with a jerk that made my breasts dance against him and he moved with me and dragged my hands to the head of his bed and placing the metal buckle over a small hook in the wall.</p><p>He had me bound and prone to any attack he chose to inflict, he just snaked his way in-between my legs and stayed upright surveying my naked skin below him and he traced a hand up the inside of one of my thighs and teased my fanny with the softest of feeling with like parting a crowd , his action worked and I lifted my knees dutifully and let him work further.</p><p>He could write anything he wanted with his hands, and knowing his pleasure in words I hoped he was going to write war and peace right now on my vaginal walls.</p><p>He slid his fingers in , working his knuckles against the wetness around them and he knew how to make my guttural moans hit his breath in tangent, He moved his literacy into me and caressed every groove in me as I clenched around his hand in agreement.</p><p>The sounds of my wetness and his hands filled the room and just held my hands in place with his other hands, his breast dancing near my  hungry mouth but far enough way that I couldn't reach them.</p><p>' Keep purring kitty' He joked down at my pleasure contorted face knowing full well I was going to decorate his fingers in the tsunami of fluid he was teasing ever further.</p><p>' Time to make you really squeal Jagi' He said grasping my wrists so hard that the belt cut in and I winced, but pleasure pain was different, this wasn't him trying to be violent, this was him dominating me and hadn't the strength to stop him.</p><p>His hands left me momentarily and I just lay twitching trying to place breath back into my lungs, But Joon watched me, just like his prey as he found a condom in the small bedside table. I knew what was coming and I had craved it ever since the last time he had penetrated me.</p><p>He took my bound wrists and placed them over over his head to rest on his neck as his guided me onto him, taking care to notice my face change as he filled me fully , his length penetrating as high as it could.</p><p>I couldn't open my eyes fully, but one thing was for sure, this was all me, the haze had worn off and this was all my craving clenching around him, and whatever I was feeling right now, I was chasing it hard , as hard as his cock, which I never wanted to leave me.</p><p>He held my tight, and thrust in quick succession into me , hitting every spot in the dark room we were in. We moaned our dirty poetry into the air of his bedroom , our bodies swimming and pulsing life into one another.</p><p>He was close as I was and I could feel his words trying to escape, his eyes pitch black but almost crying , as he mouthed at my mouth and yelped when I did as we both climaxed almost with a force that wanted to move every bit of furniture near us.</p><p>He was mine and I was his in that moment , an addiction ridden out together and a mess of fluids mangled together over a sheath of rubber keeping us both safe.</p><p>We hadn't the strength to stay upright any longer and with a grace we fell onto the sheets below us , and frantically found each others faces to check the other was still on the planet, or where we still our cum covered hell from minutes before.</p><p>' Good girl' He said once he could find his own breath and he slowly undid the belt holding my wrists together. My wrists were slightly bruised but I didnt care , I couldn't feel them , all I could feel was a longing between my legs which was already missing him, but I wrote it off and just surmised that it was the orgasm after effect .</p><p>He laid on the sheets of his bed , trying to grasp the fix we both just had and after a time I must have fallen asleep , drifting off in my own exhaustion and beside Joon , knowing I didnt want to leave right now. The top of my cliff was long gone, I was heading for the bottom for sure.</p><p> </p><p>Namjoon's perspective</p><p>Kat just lay at his side , softly sleeping with a slight snore that made him smile.</p><p>He watched her for what seemed like hours, watching her back rise and fall as she slept and her features gracing his pillows as she dreamed about things he could only guess.</p><p>His mind swam with thoughts which his face sometimes had issues with understanding, he seemed to want to speak words silently into the dark room but he stopped himself.</p><p>He lightly placed his right index finger on the faint bruise on her wrist and slightly grimaced at the notion he had left a mark that was painful , even if Kat didnt register that it was.</p><p>He seemed guilty, which only added to the confusion.</p><p>'Oh Kat' He whispered , knowing she was fully asleep , as she snored gently and only shifting gently to make herself comfortable under the blankets that he had placed over both of them.</p><p>It was early hours of the morning now and  the stars matched the hanging lamps outside the trailer and bounced off the skin that both had penetrating the top of the blanket.</p><p>' Kat, I don't know.......I think.....I.....no..I'm trying not to....what are you doing to m.... ' He said trying not to show more emotion in his soft words, to only be disturbed by his phone which vibrated in the pocket which was on the floor after Kat had removed them.</p><p>Namjoon gently lifted himself off the bed and fetched his phone, seeing it as a perfect intersection for his thoughts right now.</p><p>MESSAGES - </p><p>4.43am</p><p>JIN - I'm outside Joon-ah. </p><p>Joon quickly but quietly placed some shorts on and made his way out of the room and stepping over his and Kats clothes on the floor and going to his front door to be met with a tired looking Jin and stepping out his porch.</p><p>'Jin, what' He said as he met Jins face which was part shrouded with a purple faded hoody.</p><p>'You always said to come by just before light Joon-ah' he said whispering , eve though to his knowledge no one else was about except the both of them.</p><p>'Ah yes sorry Hyung, here ' He said retrieving a small brown envelope just from inside the the door which was resting against a small wooden bowl that housed Joon's keys and other random objects .</p><p>' Thank you , you know I would let you stay here for free if I could ' Jin said with a small laugh</p><p>' And you know I wouldn't accept that Hyung, even if you offered, we are helping each other remember' He said trying to act like the older brother type even if he wasn't.</p><p>' So rough night ' Jin gestured with a smirk at Joon's shorts , noticing they where on back to front.</p><p>Both laughed as it seemed like a typical Namjoon thing to do, as clumsiness was in his nature and both seemed to unconsciously know it.</p><p>' No , not at all' Namjoon said trying to make the shorts mishap look intentional.</p><p>Jins ears pricked as he heard a noise in the trailer and knowing instantly it was human , his expression changed , he looked instantly concerned , and made his way in to the trailer , to find a sleeping Kat who had rolled over in her sleep and was slightly moaning in her sleep.</p><p>Joon hadn't been quick enough to stop him, but Jin just came back towards Joon, and  started to grow in concern with every step.   </p><p>' Namjoon-ah !!' He yelled as quietly as he could at a flustered Joon.</p><p>'What are you doing ' he said in matching tone to the sentence before.</p><p>' Jin, its nothing' Joon said in an attempt to reassure Jins concerns .</p><p>'Joon-ah , I don't question who you have sex with, its not my concern, but you've never brought them back here ' He said with concern</p><p>' I know Hyung ...I know' Joon said</p><p>'Then why, this is supposed to be where you can hide, you needed to and she could have been anyone.....and I can't ....I can't lose..... ' Jin said , with concern being replaced by care on his face.</p><p>' Hyung , please trust me , I'm ..I'm' Joon trailed off.</p><p>'Joon-ah , I know her , she comes in the eatery and works near by and apart from a friendly smile I don't know anymore about her , but do you' Jin said trying not raise his voice.</p><p>' Yes I do ' Joon said looking back in the direction of Kats end of the trailer .</p><p>' I trust her Hyung' He said with an emotion Jin couldn't decipher on his face.</p><p>' what's happening Joon-ah' Jin replied.</p><p>' I guess I'll find out ...I don't know .....I thought Haze would figure it out for me...' Joon said , knowing Kat would wake up in the coming hours .</p><p>He and Jin just stood looking at each other, both not knowing what more to say.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 18 - Morning Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat awakes to find herself alone, but in the light of day Namjoon's Trailer home seems different and her eyes take a journey before going home.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The room was light and warm and I stirred under the bed sheets Namjoon must have placed over me when I fell asleep.</p><p>My eyes felt happy and my whole body did , I had broken on of my rules again and stayed in someone else's home.</p><p>His scent was all around me, his pillows cradling my head as I awoke more.</p><p>I passed an arm to what would have been his side of the bed , but it was cold, he wasn't there , and the trailer was quiet, with only the faint sounds of the streets in the distance permeating the stillness of the trailers silence. I rose slowly, the suns rays lightly catching my morning face as I adjusted my eyes the bedroom I found myself in.</p><p>I just sat there , opening and closing my eyes and unconsciously enjoying the smell of him all around and the mild ache of my thighs from his absence and the soreness of my wrists which now felt like a cherished possession. Small dust particles danced in and out of the sunlight and trailed off.</p><p>His room sure did look different in this new light , but again not what I was expecting .</p><p>His bed was king-size and aged metal frame with grey sheets and pillows to match, and the mattress soft and forgiving of any punishment that it had had on it.</p><p>random art and drawings adorned the corners of the room and he seemed to have a thing for plants , small succulents and even small plum tree by the window which made a smile come out of me at the thought that this man who was so good at rough sex , was a gentle soul somewhere deep down.</p><p>I knew he wasn't home , I couldn't sense him and rising myself up and not caring I was still naked , I gently paced over to a small dressing table , a note catching my eyes.</p><p>'Kat,</p><p>I couldn't bare to wake you, but please use my wardrobe to find something to wear .</p><p>I will reclaim it when we have our next fix Jagi.</p><p>Do eat if you feel like before leaving.</p><p>I will see you again soon Addiction.</p><p>Yours </p><p>J.'</p><p>'What's wrong with my clothes ' I said breaking a dry spot that must had formed in my mouth as I slept, I knew I snored a tad so it wasn't a shock and besides my bed hair was always more worrying.</p><p>Turning I could see what he meant, He had taken the wet clothes we had discarded in our rush for nakedness and they where hanging from a small drying spindle that hung from the ceiling .</p><p>' Very thorough Joon' I smirked as I walked over to a small wicker wardrobe a few feet from his bed , and opened its doors .</p><p>He had a style for everything from formal to casual , to a small section that made the fanny stir , and well I wasn't in the mood to try that right now.</p><p>One problem Joon, I'm short as hell so what do we do, I'm 5ft 4 and your 6ft treasures will swap me.</p><p>Pondering for a short while , I found a pair of Grey sweatpants and decided that would be the best option, I can always roll them up at the legs and my ass is bigger than yours Joon so it will hold them up so I can get home, and I paired it with a white vest that I tied at the top of my waist as it was far too long. As I slid it over my head , my memory swam with the thought of him almost gagging me with my own clothing last night and gave me some thoughts for our next fix .</p><p>Everything smelled like him, clean and deep and the faintest taint of cologne, and I would be lying if I said I didnt linger longer than I should have.</p><p>Finding my shoes I knew I had to compromise there was his feet where much bigger than mine and I could endure wet converse for the walk home.</p><p>I wandered slowly through his home, inspecting each part in the new daylight , and trying to not smile remembering my previous journey.</p><p>He did have two bedrooms , and it wasn't my place to look, so I just followed the pictures and drawings around to his desk, now bathed in daylight coming through the glass of the door .</p><p>setting myself down , I could now see that he was a wordsmith, he wrote and wrote a lot , and he seemed to fall into a pattern of writing anything that came into his mind .</p><p>He seemed to write about things he saw, in the parts I could decipher from the English portions.</p><p>It did intrigue me, maybe this was another outlet for him to feel , and get unnecessary crap out of his system , I guess we all needed an outlet.</p><p>I knew I had to go , but I just sat leaning my back against his wooden desk chair, letting my eyes survey the daylight.</p><p>He had a portion of papers tucked away in a letter rack , and I could see what looked like the corner of photograph paper and Ill admit my curiosity got the better of me and I took the corner and slid it out being careful to remember where it had been in the pile , so I could place it back.</p><p>It was a photograph, worn slightly and clearly from the early 2000s as the stamps on the back gave away , and I could recognise a much younger Namjoon, his eyes were a dead giveaway and that cheeky smile he did seems to have been there since the start.</p><p>It had something written on the back , but next to Namjoon was another little boy, possibly a year or two younger with puffy cheeks and sweet eyes that almost matched mini Namjoon's </p><p>'So here you are Joon' I smiled trying to pair in my mind the boy in the picture and the man in my thoughts.<br/>on the back it read ' Mon and Mini , Jeju Island,'</p><p>'Mini' I said , 'Is that you Joon, what does it mean' I said again in my thoughts .</p><p>My mind swam for a second, and I remembered that much like me , he kept his past the past, and he had hid this for a reason. It could have been anyone , a friend, a family member but it was his secret to tell, so I placed the picture back , maybe hoping I would know one day.</p><p>'Right Kat, shift your arse' I said , patting both hands as if to check my pockets and them remembering I wasn't wearing my clothes and slightly panicking as to where my phone and keys where.</p><p>They cant have been in my originals clothes as they looked laundered and hung up, but in my half spins around the living room , I noticed they were on the table by the door , placed with neatness , which again made the corners of my mouth curl.</p><p>I took them in my hand and put them in the deep pockets of the sweatpants that where going to take me home and I left Joon's trailer, clicking the door closed behind me and making my way across the scrap yard to the exit which luckily was not a locked or had a security pad on this side, or id be really screwed.</p><p>I just recollected my step and took a slow walk home and tried to ignore the still dampness of my converse , which made me cringe  slightly, I would be home soon enough.</p><p>I just walked bathing in the sun and breathing to air and having  a head of nothing really, just the occasional fleeting thought .</p><p>I walked as I had walked many times, past the club, past the bar, past the street cleaners moving to the side when they noticed me.</p><p>I walked past EATJIN's too, a flustered Jin placing signage outside no doubt for the day ahead, but my feet stopped when I saw his face, His lip slightly cut but leaving and his eyes looking filled with tiredness and small cut under his right eye.</p><p>He noticed me on the other side of the street and stopped what he was doing when he saw me , his eyes slightly panicked and sorrowful at the same time, and he gave a small bow and went inside .</p><p>'Jin....What' I said under my breath, was he ok, is he clumsy, did he hurt himself ?</p><p>I shook my head knowing I couldn't solve it right now, but it didnt sit right , something didnt sit right , someone with such kind eyes and a sweet character , from what I had seen so far, shouldn't be wearing marks like that.</p><p>But surely if he wanted to tell me, he would in time.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 19-Dream Glow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You start to see the 'Winter flower' references in this chapter, as Namjoon attempts to find new ways to intrigue Kat.<br/>but danger is starting to lurk nearby as Kat finds herself an unexpected job opportunity.</p><p>Also please remember I have aged up characters in places so I can tell the coming chapters and have enough years in the characters to tell a backstory.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joon always had a way since the trailer of letting me know he was watching, that he was around like some welcome stalker that I liked smiling at me in the distance.</p><p>Texts flowed, Picture messages did too some so risqué that I hoped I didnt ever misplace my phone, and a newer twist that I didnt have the strength to argue about.</p><p>Id often leave the apartment to go to work or just stretch any part of me that needed it and I would find in random places on my porch and sometimes in the railings of the steps leading down at all hours of the day, flowers.....</p><p>I'm not talking bunch of flowers, as that would say more than we wanted but it was enough to peak my interest at his next plan on our addicted path.</p><p>I had no idea what these flowers were, I had no interest in plants and to me a flower was a flower past a rose, but as always this freak peaked my senses so I used an app I could find out what I could as he seemed to enjoy being cryptic at the moment.</p><p>and I was surprised I guess , Plum blossom was the small ones I would find laced in the mesh of the outer door , sweet and nice smelling and always seemed to coax as small smile when I remembered his little plum tree in his room.</p><p>Camelia would often be placed randomly on the steps and against my window , their bright pink always catching my eyes , and daffodils which always reminded me of my childhood in England as they always where everywhere in the parks that where dotted around London and I always remembered them dancing in the rain when walking to junior school as a small child , often watching them longer than I should and admiring them before I learned there name in the few years it took me to master English after moving from southern Italy.</p><p>'Weirdo' I would say as I twirled the stem in my hands, and the spinning yellow catching Yoongi's attention, and him coming over to sniff them and then lurch back in disgust at the pollen smell which always made me laugh, and of course I would taunt the unpaying house guest, judgemental Cat as ever !.</p><p>'Flower....flower....FLOWERRRR....' id laugh dancing it in his face and him deciding to disown me in a brief glance. Yes little buddy I am as confused as you buddy.</p><p>My routine stayed constant and I was beginning to think about making a move on Namjoon as things where getting pent up despite my best efforts to attend to myself with the help of the risqué photos.</p><p>but something new , a mild night under the stars and a mild breeze, a note slid under my door but initially I thought the noise was Yoongi trying to reinact the world cup on the floor with yet another Tangerine....I mean for fuck sake dude , I swear I only buy those to keep you amused.</p><p>It was Joon's handwriting, I recognised it from the time in the trailer, and a simple sentence written both in English and Romanised Korean .</p><p>'Kat, I hope you Bloom, Pieonagil barae. J' it read.</p><p>'Dude what on earth ' I said fondling the paper in my fingers for a short while when the phone in my pocket vibrated and I knew it must be the next part of his plan.</p><p>MESSAGES:</p><p>7.19PM </p><p>Namjoon: Tonight Club Dark Hope , time to make you glow again </p><p>7.20pm</p><p>Kat: Sorry, Washing my Hair .....</p><p>7.21pm</p><p>Namjoon: You will need shower after I've finished with you Jagi</p><p>7.22pm </p><p>Kat: Well flowers do need water I guess</p><p>7.22.pm</p><p>Namjoon: Glad to know you are looking after them.</p><p>7.23pm</p><p>Kat: Well Yoongi is ...</p><p>7.24pm</p><p>Namjoon: Well call me the pussy whisperer then. </p><p>7.25pm</p><p>Kat: Don't think you can do that in the club bub</p><p>7.26pm</p><p>Namjoon: I didnt know Yoongi could dance </p><p>7.27pm</p><p>Kat: Joon...</p><p>7.28pm</p><p>Namjoon: See you at 10.30pm Kitty </p><p>7.29pm</p><p>Kat: Yoongi....you've got a date .....go wash your balls.</p><p>and with that I put the phone down after my plans for the evening had now been decided for me and as I had the weekend off, why not go and see the florist in my life and see exactly the type of glow he wanted to give me. I didnt get a response to my joke, I guess he is either laughing or I've suitably wound him up in the fashion I wanted to , weird horny flower loving bastard .</p><p>The hours trickled by and the night grew darker , like a black swan gliding over the once sun kissed sky.</p><p>I of course dressed the part, I was not afraid of my body, whilst it was slightly more rounded than others, it was something I decided not to hate. So many in my past would rip chunks out of my self esteem for having more curves than a board game, but it was the way I was built and whilst there everything wrong with love outside of me, I chose to at least greatly admire my own skin, it was what was going to get me from birth to death after all.</p><p>I left in good time, wanting to beat Joon to the club, and it was a busy night , and surely that fact alone would make Hobi happy with his precious stamps .</p><p>Namjoon was under the signage , the red light bouncing off his features and his eyes cutting a path looking towards me, he looked fine, and I mean , he is having a way of pulsing in me even when he is nowhere near me , fucking asshole...why ....anyways .</p><p>He looked full of himself as usual, walking towards me with his chest slightly erect in front of him and cutting an imprint in the black t-shirt he was wearing, slightly ripped by the arms , his thighs effortlessly moved under his leather trousers , until eyes where interrupted by knee high boots...I mean fuck me sideways ...now that was a look and a half, and oddly looked liked they had been painted on to suit him, and well if I hadn't wanted to fuck him in the past, this new armoury definitely would have sealed the day.</p><p>Turned out we thought alike, I was wearing a leatheresque body con dress making sure it clung to my breasts keeping the barest amount of modesty possible and short enough to make a priest gulp and of course those trusty new rock boots that I need for part height and part domination, and well for once hair down, dancing down my spine. Maybe I wanted to give Joon something to inspire him for later.</p><p>'Kitty ......wow' He said as he walked up to my face .</p><p>' Im borrowing those boots ' I purred back, not caring that they where too large by far for me.</p><p>' Well you have to get them off me first' He challenged back.</p><p>'Joon, you underestimate me...bad move' I pursed to him.</p><p>' Never Jagi' He said trying to make his presence known against one of my hands.</p><p>We both stepped into the club and as expected Hobi was being the gracious host trying to get through the queue as fast as he could.</p><p>'Kat....come out to play again ' He said with a laugh in his voice.</p><p>'I'm not playing alone' I said looking in his eyes as he noticed Joon standing behind me and knowing that he was no doubt checking my arse out to pass time in the queue.</p><p>'Ohhhhhhhhh' he said noticing Joon.</p><p>'Yeah, 2 this time' I said to Hobi handing my hand to be stamped .</p><p>'Kat ....Could I ask you something' he said gesturing to come stand behind the booth with him.</p><p>'What's up.....' I said , with the expression on my face of wanting to make it quick.</p><p>'I need your ....ummm help....yes help.....you work for Bang right ' He posed.</p><p>'Why 'I questioned back, noticing his eyes following Namjoon who already swaying wanting to dance.</p><p>' I need more help here and well a smile helps too' He said coyly.</p><p>'Well as long as you pay me ...fine by me' I reposed back.</p><p>'Of course of course......I need someone who knows how to deal with all of this ' He said with a semi look of disgust at the sprawling club floor housing all different degenerates and walks of life .</p><p>'Like I said, pay me and Ill help...anyways ....kind of busy' I said gesturing to the man mountain of namtitties standing behind me that was Namjoon.</p><p>'See me before you leave .....ummmmm.......Kat......what is that short for ...' He said trying to return to serve the queue.</p><p>'Katalina , Katalina Truva ' I said holding my hand out to meet his , after all being nice to new boss I had may get me some job perks.</p><p>'Hobi ...Hobi Dawon' He said puffing his chest up as if he was trying to stir a laugh and well it really wasn't going to work.</p><p>'Yeah fine later' I said stepping out and holding my hand behind me to perk Joon's attention for him to take me away to the dance floor.</p><p>But instead he laced his hands around my waist and walked me towards the dance floor all the time teasing my hips through the tightness of my dress.</p><p>'What was that about ...do I have competition ' He trickled into my ear</p><p>'Joon firstly don't flatter yourself and second well.....a new job it would seem' I said looking over at an ever flustered Hobi certainly not matching the suited and booted exterior I saw in the town a while back.</p><p>'Jagi ......nice ' He said planting a kiss on me and tying his tongue with mine, laced with Haze of course. It was time for the next ride , and the leather would sweat with both of us for sure tonight , and I guess I needed to prove all my talents.</p><p>Once again, we danced and rode together under the smoky atmosphere above us , feeling each other like a carefully rehearsed tango. I didnt care who was around me , I just longed to have those knee high boots cutting into the underside of my thighs when Joon fucked me into an oblivion.</p><p>I had it all it would seem, money opportunities coming in, a body that could fuck back as hard as it received , and a man thirsty for me but kind enough to make sure we didnt feel to deep other than our primal addiction.</p><p>He just whispered into me and I felt it ....</p><p>'I need you girl.......SHIT' clenching ever more into me.</p><p> </p><p>readers perspective.</p><p>They both danced and made their own grind in time with the music, not caring who saw.</p><p>To the outside world they looked in love, but even the worst actors can fake a good scene.</p><p>The club was heaving, with every walk of life, and the lewdness hung in the air throughout the air.</p><p>Hobi was flustered, he seemed to not know what to do about the heavy crowd and his staff struggling to keep up, ever the demands growing .</p><p>The club has many elements, many hidden corners, and private rooms at the back where the shadiest of situations could take place without the intrusion of prying eyes and judgemental looks .</p><p>These rooms had lights above them, glowing red whenever the guests required service and one was flickering , and a hurried Hobi snaked his way through the crowd after seeing no one had responded, hurrily opening the door and shutting it behind him.</p><p>'Sorry ..sorry ....yes ' He said to the occupants.</p><p>Three men , looking ready to fuck up anything that breathed , and surrounded by inebriated guests of their choosing  half way in between sniffing all substances lined on the table , and half conducting sexual acts like they liked being watched.</p><p>'What the fuck does it take to get a drink around here' The main guy hissed , grabbing Hobi by the mouth and grasping his cheeks hard with his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>'Sorry sorry, but we will have more help....Local girl...Kat .....she will be no problem' Hobi said once the hand was removed from his face and slowly sorting his posture out.</p><p>'Kat.....that doesn't sound local....but a bitch is a bitch I guess and as long as it can pour and suck I don't care' He said , as Hobi opened the door and showed the douchebag challenging him the newest member to join Hobi's staff that night .</p><p>Kat didnt know she was being watched, watched like prey and not in the way she was used to , and not with the attention Joon was paying her.  </p><p>Hobi walked off , trying to conceal any fear in his eyes, and to get away from the asshole who seemed to think he owned everything and everyone whilst hating them all in equal measure.</p><p>'Well ...Well....Look what the Kat dragged in.....' The voice hissed as it watched Kat and Joon swim into each other, unaware them where being watched.</p><p>The voice just stayed there resting both arms upright on the doorframe around him, and smirking with a manicial sense to his face.</p><p>Slowly closing the door and laughing into the smut filled room, he found his own phone and composed a message  .</p><p>MESSAGE :</p><p>'YOU WILL LIKE THIS CLUB, IT HAS ALLSORTS OF TREASURES AND WELL.......A FAMILIAR FACE WE CAN NOW FUCK UP FINALLY '....and sent.</p><p>The recipients phone buzzed, and raising their naked body out of bed and out from under the two bodies around him, wiping the hair from their gaze.</p><p>writing a text back ,..</p><p>'TAE , BE MORE SPECIFIC ....OR LET ME GET BACK TO MY HEDONISM'</p><p>a quick response came back </p><p>'JUNGKOOK, TRUST ME , WE FOUND HIM AND HE HAS A BITCH NOW, NOW LETS HAVE SOME FUN......TIME TO PAINT DEAR HYUNG. .</p><p>Jungkook just laughed, knowing full well Taehyung would only say that for one reason and one only, He had found him, and now to start his greatest art work ever....a painting he would want in all the fluids he could, but one he admired the most .....blood.</p><p>But he did  know he would have two pallets to choose from now , and he loved to think of ways to hurt this piece of the past now , now that Tae had  locked eyes on them both .</p><p>Kat and Joon.......you're in danger.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 20-  Night of the Enigma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now enters the Jade Enigma and a plan falling into place.<br/>The canvas being laid for all that was about to happen.</p><p> </p><p>==I have aged Jungkooks character up as advised before and he is about a year older than Taehyung in this story===<br/>This is a work of ficton and in no way implies any similarity to the real life boys,<br/>only their visuals are similar.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>:: Readers Perspective::</p><p>The small little town Kat and Namjoon called home was like it was becoming caught in a fishing net, slowly closing in on them , from hunters they never could see coming , the dark waters they surrounded themselves with and their own addictive bubble stopped them from seeing the nets dragging on the sea floor right towards them and they would soon have to have a fate or flight.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>Taehyung being the ever dutiful little lap dog had become determined to fully reported back to Jungkook, he got off on it , he always sought approval in everything , like a bloodhound sniffing for his next treat or next pulse to fuck.</p><p>Tae wasn't fit to be around humans , he relished in torture and loved making a mess of anyone who crossed him, He would always chalk it up to an itch he never could scratch and he needed to keep poking at it .</p><p>He had always been like this , he had  a penchant for wanting to dominate everything and make everything his playground, and it is probably why him and Jungkook had clicked all those years ago, two terror like twins with no DNA commonalities between them.</p><p>Jungkook was the leader of many things, an imposing dark persona , that could hide behind an innocent expression when he had to, but everyone knew their place with him, you didn't fuck with Jungkook, you knew you'd end up battered or bruised or diced up in a dumpster somewhere.</p><p>He was an arrogant egotistical fiend who always wanted to be better than the generation before him. He was like a spoilt little prince who had everything but always wanted more.</p><p>He had his pick of everything, men....women in multiple numbers, they where his puppets.</p><p>He and Taehyung where thick as thieves in everything, if you found one you'd always find the other and they relished in being a plague to anywhere they were.</p><p>Taehyung had peaked Jungkook's interest ,and after taking that call , They met at their mutual home, almost a lair like but a Sodom in a building that they could just pick up and move to chase whatever they wanted next.</p><p>They had enemies and they knew it , but this evil that flowed in them was well honed and well practised and they knew how to worm their way out of practically everything.</p><p>The apartment looked normal, but inside it was anything but , and after a particularly perverted night Taehyung arrived home.</p><p>::SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION....COLLIDE - WHITE RABBIT:::::'</p><p>'Hyung-y I'm home' Tae yelled into the compound with his whiskey soaked tongue laughing at his own half joke , and tottered around the many crates in the front part of their current home, containing all manner of contraband whether purchased or stolen was anyone's guess.</p><p>The lights where almost blue , and lit the parts of the room that where necessary. It was a large open space with a mezzanine that stretched along the whole sides of the room, with a twisting stair cases at either side and huge old glass windows in the ceiling.</p><p>'What no welcome party!!' Tae snarled as he discarded a whiskey bottle into the corner of the entrance , ensuring it smashed to provoke attention.</p><p>The room wasn't empty , it had many other bodies all amassed and looked more like a private club that was a cesspit for drugs, prostitution and the air laced with music to suit the mood.</p><p>'KOOK-AH' Tae yelled his voice getting coarse and dry almost like he was growling , twirling around to try and stir Jungkook from wherever he was hiding , and trying to maintain his balance all the same, Tae had no patience for anyone except Jungkook.</p><p>'Brother ......I was a little fucking busy' Jungkook responded in similar fashion , leaning against the thin metal railing of the mezzanine, his shirtless body dripping in sweat and his tiny waist and chiselled abs hardly keeping his pvc style fetishesque trousers up , that had visibly been pulled up in a hurry and not zipped all the way.</p><p>'Well no doubt you were making them fucking scream' Tae laughed back with his boyish grin that didnt match the menacing exterior he exuded.</p><p>'Its an art form as always ' Jungkook said sarcastically bowing and zipping the remainder of his flies up and getting a cigarette from one of the pockets and an old style lighter from his pocket , and slowly making his way down the stairs , barefoot and brushing his fingers through his hair .</p><p>'Do I get to play' Tae smirked rubbing his hands together.</p><p>'Well if they still have a pulse , have at it my little brother ' He laughed knowing full well that had killed those in the past that he had seen no need for , he just cared about getting his dick wet and he didnt care what hole it went into in order to do that.</p><p>'It more fun when they fight Hyung, I don't like them blue ....' he said acting coy and laughing manically and then stopping dead pan when Jungkook laughably blue a smoke cloud in his face.</p><p>'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING HERE, ROME WASNT FUCKED UP IN A DAY , BUT A LITTLE EFFORT WOULD BE NICE!!' he said aggressively to the throws of people lounging about in the main area of the room, clapping his hand and gesturing with his eyes turning dark and overpowering so much so that the occupants knew they were dicing with the grim reaper if they dared question him.</p><p>a hubbub of murmurs and noise accompanied those who left the room, with only a few remaining and disappearing off into the corners of the main room where residual rooms lay.</p><p>'That's much fucking better' He said falling back onto a large sprawling blue velvet couch and manspreading so as to ensure everyone's attention was still on him.</p><p>He cracked his neck and lowered his head as if to check his body out , knowing full well Tae was doing that for him .</p><p>'So Brother, you found a little prize' He said in a quieter tone.</p><p>'Yes Hyung I think I did, I'm sure of it ' he said , whilst excitedly dancing on his feet like a dog wanting a treat.</p><p>'Its been years since that fucking disease of a boy was last in our company, and he is always on my list ' He said sitting up and rubbing his hands together as if mentally savouring violent acts in his imagination.</p><p>'He was changed a lot' Tae said back.</p><p>'Namjoon always was a fucking chameleon ' Jungkook exhaled back.</p><p>'What do we do now' Tae said eagerly awaiting instruction, as his itch to do damage seemed to be flowing out of his and he couldn't control his body movements .</p><p>'We need to be sure its him, I've always said he will be my greatest artwork, he deserves it after all he did to us' Jungkook said with an anger in his voice, a dip of his eyes and his knuckles tensing at the mere mention of Namjoon's name escaping his lips .</p><p>'But but ..' Tae Stuttered.</p><p>'Oh don't worry , once we know , we will decorate his fucking blood all over the town and drag his battered corpse all the way back to our true home' Jungkook said as if making a firm promise to himself.</p><p>Tae became excited at the thought of Jungkook's decorating skills. He knew Jungkook to be a true artist when it was came to punishment, he had a penchant for the older methods and was a collector of every kind of old style weapon and had maliciously taught himself how to use them and inflict as much colour as he could.</p><p>'He had a bitch with him brother' Tae said to peak Jungkook's interest.</p><p>'He had a girl with him' he said his head cocked remembering Tae mentioning it in the phone call.</p><p>'They looked very close Brother' Said Tae.</p><p>'Bullshit , that fuckstain doesn't do love , even though he was obsessed with that vomit inducing notion' Jungkook said standing up and pacing his bare feet on the half carpeted and half wooden floor .</p><p>' I think its called Kat, at least that's what the pathetic bar keep called it at the club ' Taehyung said, which did indeed peak Jungkook's interest.</p><p>'Kat you say........I'm sensing something ....tell me Tae what did it look like' He said , his utter disdain for giving anyone other than himself any decency, as calling people it made them lesser in his eyes.</p><p>'The bitch...oh ...short.....olive skin....black hair....looks like she wants to fuck everything' Tae said and tried to map out Kat's figure with his hands as an ever grinning Jungkook just looked on.</p><p>'I dare say I've seen the pussy you describe, not long before I met you at the beach that time' he smirked.</p><p>'THAT BITCH !!' Tae yelled in shock, his eyes wide and inquisitive.</p><p>'Yes Brother, you only saw the back of her ' He smirked as he continued to walk around the room with Tae hanging on his every word.</p><p>'So that Bastard and the bitch......well....it has spunk I'll give it that, it bought my pouty bunny routine right up ,and whilst I could have fucked it where it stood and tore it in half........I dare say it was intriguing' He trailed off remembering his last encounter with Kat.</p><p>'So Hyung what do we do, you want me to go fetch and fuck up' Tae said eagerly standing alongside Jungkook who had by now finished his cigarette but continued to pace around in the smoke it left behind.  </p><p>'No no brother, if it is him...and I don't doubt your outstanding observational skills for a moment..... we need to do this as we always do..' He said gesturing to Tae the whole way.</p><p>'Like an artwork' Tae said hanging on Jungkook's every word .</p><p>'Indeed ' Jungkook said , his bunny grin overpowering his menacing face.</p><p>'We keep doing as we have been doing , we still take apart that shitty little seaside hovel apart piece by piece and we use what we can and who we can and we bait the water and let Namjoon come to us, and I suspect his old tricks are still the same' Jungkook lectured on.</p><p>'Well he looked in love brother' Tae said looking semi disgusted .<br/>'Bastard doesn't do that.....so I think he is still playing around' Jungkook posed</p><p>'highs.....hmmm that would explain him pouring himself over that whore then' Tae said as if he had worked something else out.</p><p>'Taehyung , go to our contacts and well lets play a little game, lets bait the water , like we have done before ......Blue haze should do it ' Jungkook said satisfied he was forming a plan.</p><p>'Blue haze...fucking savage brother ' Tae snarled and almost chewed his own palms off in excitement.</p><p>'yes the nasty stuff....the mind fucker..., not that fucking amateur hippy derived from an innocent flower bullshit ' He said to Tae 'Lets let this bastard fuck himself up before we made him howl and want death' Jungkook continued.</p><p>' We need him to hand himself over , he needs to suffer, he made us suffer, I will have what is rightfully fucking mine' Jungkook said growing ever more angry, his veins beginning to bulge through every visible part of his muscular body.</p><p>'So Tae, go out , play , keep your ear to the ground dear darling boy, lets cast the net and slowly drain that town and find our treasure ' Jungkook said .</p><p>'You want to paint him again Brother......' Tae questioned back.</p><p>'With every great torturous work of art, you are best to work from the outside and work your way in ' Jungkook said as he and Tae resided in their own arrogant aroma for the next few hours, working on an ever growing breed of sickness and perversion that left a trail of broken towns in their wake.</p><p>Jade Enigma was becoming unstoppable and getting closer to everyone who didnt want to be in their path.</p><p>==========================================================================</p><p>A few hours later and Taehyung had to make a delivery , he was suitably inebriated after the lingering night , and strolled up the back door of the warehouse and knocked and not being satisfied with the wait , he drew his gun out of his waistband, which had been so well hidden it could have been mistaken for his genitals trying to break free from their trouser prison.</p><p>It would be the guide for his newest symphony should anyone at the warehouse sing out of tune to him.</p><p>'FUCK.....ANSWER...YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ' he yelled through the spy hole to gain attention., which was designed for the eyes and not the mouth, but Taehyung didnt care.</p><p>'Who is it.......' a quivering voice said from inside.</p><p>'Jade Enigma Asshole.....' He said smirking. </p><p>'OK..... ok shit sorry.... Tae sir' a voice followed after a fumbling of locks and chains could be heard unlocking.</p><p>Tae was not amused and instead just threw a black tapped bag at the person on the other side of the door when it opened, hitting them firm in the face and shocking them.</p><p>'THATS FOR FUCKING MAKING ME WAIT' Tae said scratching his forehead with his pistol looking visibly annoyed and wanting to inflict pain but he didnt have Jungkook's approval , after all he was here on a mission of sorts.</p><p>'I need you to mix that in with the normal shit you and your clientele deal out ' Tae said</p><p>'You ...You want me ...me to ..to....sell this ' the voice responded.</p><p>'Yes ....testing a new recipe ....and well it wasn't a fucking question assmunch!!!.....you do as I ask and keep your side of the bargain and I don't get violent again and the Jade Enigma will reward you' Tae said.</p><p>'Reward....'The voice stuttered.</p><p>'You get to keep your fucking teeth and your bones all in order' Tae posed back.</p><p>'I will do ....do it ' The voice quivered .</p><p>'Oh and Seokjin........there's a good boy' Tae said as he chuckled and winked like an obnoxious ass and walked off. </p><p>Seokjin just closed the door thankful he wouldn't get another beating and maybe ...just maybe he could keep his end of the deal and keep his business.</p><p>Little did he know the chaos he was clutching in the package against his chest and the dangerous roulette that would ensue.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. 21 - Love Maze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Namjoon and Kat go on another date but the nights turns red and we see the twist in Namjoon's<br/> story start to appear.</p><p> </p><p>The final one of the boys is now in the story but not in the way we expected.</p><p>==TRIGGER WARNING== <br/>implied aggression in some scenes.<br/>rough sexual behaviour described also.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I have to say he was seeping under my skin further and the thaw was setting in even if I was trying to ignore it.</p><p>We had settled into a pattern, a little sordid dance routine that only we knew the steps to, and we just got better and better at it.</p><p>It was working thus far, using our little escape clause so we didnt catch any feelings along the way , as we both seemed allergic to anything that could be good to a regular person.</p><p>Yoongi even seemed happier , having only sniffed Namjoon once, but I guess he was picking up on my vibes and me seeming to have a purpose other than work and hating the world.</p><p>Namjoon kept messaging me in the times when we didnt see each other, I never questioned it , he was his own vehicle, he moved and flowed wherever he wanted but always had a way of making me feel his eyes on me.</p><p>It was nearing the end of the summer season and the cooler air was coming in and our little seaside haven would soon be a little more sparse when it came to the conveyor belt of people coming through , but with that came some tourist traps , moving away from the decadence of beachside raves , a mesh of drugs flowing to help with the atmosphere and the festival vibe.</p><p>It was more small fun fayres, something that never sat well with me, even if the last ride I had was pleasant.</p><p>I had been here this time last year, it was when I started at BANGS , having stopped for a drink in my search for a place to lay my hat until I decided to move on, He was a short man who looked like he was everyone's good friend , he was flustered that night , almost dropped a whole crate of beer , but I managed to be there at the right time and right place to lend a hand for the falling bottles . We clicked , he was pleasant and we saw we could help each other out , and someone who could speak fluent English with a splash of sarcasm was someone he would gladly allow to tend bar.</p><p>But this year was different, This town was uneasy , there was a lot more noticeable goings on and at various times of the day, random businesses being targeted and more of a body count rising around the town and its outskirts , but I guess I convinced myself in my head that this was just a peak, as the world always seemed to be going crazy somewhere and then that somewhere moved and moved again, and well maybe for now it was here and will move on in due course.</p><p>I was waiting for Namjoon to make his next move , he seemed a lot more creative than I did , I guess I was too busy being angry at the world to think of ways to tease the man.</p><p>That all familiar buzz let me know whenever he was reaching out for me.</p><p>6.56pm</p><p>Namjoon: I like seeing you from all angles </p><p>'huh...what the fuck' I would mutter under my breath, never quiet understanding his cryptic messages until they where unveiled under me or in me.</p><p>6.58pm</p><p>Kat: Well if you looked like me , I would too!</p><p>'haha shoot and score Kat', I thought to myself.</p><p>6.59pm</p><p>Namjoon: A Date will show you what I mean Jagi</p><p>7.01pm</p><p>Kat: we do those ?</p><p>7.01pm</p><p>Namjoon: I guess I don't know another English word for it </p><p>7.01pm</p><p>Kat: Well it is just a label just like us, anyways what are you on about boy</p><p>7.02pm</p><p>Namjoon: Kitty , You know I'm no boy Noona.</p><p>roll of my eyes ensued as always ....'grr really Joon really' I said with a smile escaping the sides of my mouth as I placed my tongue in my cheek in semi frustration.</p><p>7.03pm</p><p>Namjoon: Follow me into the Love Maze Kat </p><p>I semi choked seeing the L word and got a little concerned, but he must have been either joking or maybe he is drunk, I don't know.</p><p>7.04pm</p><p>Kat: Pardon?!?</p><p>7.05pm</p><p>Namjoon: It a new attraction, at an old friends amusements , just come into town, and I think you will like it </p><p>'Thank fuck for that' I sighed in relief to myself, I was doing well so far not to engage with anything L word related even if my body had said otherwise.</p><p>7.06pm </p><p>Kat : Ok game on, when and where ....</p><p>7.07pm</p><p>Namjoon: Open the door </p><p>'wait ...what...for fuck sake ' I said as I huffed and went towards my own door half annoyed he had crept up on my again without warning.</p><p>He was dripping sexiness as per usual when I opened the door to see those chocolate brown eyes staring at me from above and begging without words to come in.</p><p>' You asshole' I said I went to open the mesh door separating the outside from inside and Namjoon stepped few paces inside and grabbed me before I had the chance to turn round , his hands gliding round my breast line and placing a soft kiss on my lips that where trying to think of a retort to his sudden arrival.</p><p>'No fair' I said pulling myself off his lips and pinching on of his nipples as payback.</p><p>'If you keep doing that we will never get to where we are going, I cant walk about with a hard on Kitty ' He chuckled gesturing down to his pant area that my action may have stirred the sleeping beast.</p><p>'Ha if that's all it takes...... ' I coyly smiled.</p><p>' Anyways Joon what is this place you are taking me.... ' I said trying to deflect the sexual arrogance in the air .</p><p>' You will see......anyways do you need to change..... ' He said pointing as he sat back in one of my chairs , and making me realise I was still just in a t-shirt  as this was an off day and I had been cleaning the apartment to pass the time</p><p>'I suppose you want to enjoy the show ' I said as I walked up to him and placed a hand on his firm shoulder<br/>'I always enjoy your show Jagi' He said as he run his hands up my naked thighs and pulling me closer to him and his longing mouth, and his fingers teasing my naked genital area , which was trying to resist him.</p><p>'Kat I haven't eaten yet...... ' He smirked up at me weaving his tongue around the backs of his teeth with his breath hitching and matching his almost probing fingers , as if to ask for permission to part me in front of him and allow him to trace every area with his tongue and drink until he was less thirsty.</p><p>' Oh really' I said trying to control a quiver from my thighs .</p><p>' There is food in the fridge.......Yoongi ....He will show you' I said moving back and escaping his grasp and laughing at his shocked face.</p><p>' Anyways entertain yourself , or speak to the other cat' I said pointing at a slumped Yoongi on his comfy spot on the sofa.</p><p>I just strolled into my bathroom grabbing a strappy green dress and some army boots and a lacy thong which I just tossed over my shoulder and in an over exaggerated movement, just to wind him up and and then sliding into the bathroom all the time winding Namjoon up as he was no doubt clenching areas within him to stop himself busting into the room and fucking me six ways from last week.</p><p>I could hear him from the other side of the door, trying to distract himself and even attempting a conversation with Yoongi , and I had to stop myself laughing at this sexy dork's attempt to distract himself from a trouser disaster .</p><p>'So yoongi....is she always like this' Joon said as I could hear him moving closer.</p><p>An audible Hiss and a stumble from the clumsy Joon could be heard.</p><p>'Wow ...wow Ok...two pussies don't like me today ' he laughed and slid back in the chair.</p><p>I have to admit I was trying not to piss with silent laughter the other side of the bathroom door, it was too funny and all a bit endearing at the same time. Thanks Yoongi , you can share this point with me.</p><p>After some time I came out and Yoongi and Joon where in the middle of a staring match , to try and pass the time.</p><p>'Ummm Am I interrupting  the two of you?' I said to break Namjoon's gaze, and both jumping in their own skin a little.</p><p>'Wow ...um NO' Namjoon said shooting up from his seat and rubbing his hands to rid himself of any fluff, which I'm guessing means Yoongi had at some point tested the waters with Namjoon. </p><p>'Ok so where are we going and how do we get there ' I said whilst I grabbed whatever I needed, being sure to bend over and tease my underside whenever I could.</p><p>'Taxi Jagi, now stand up straight before I make you bend further' He purred.</p><p>'And yes I have my essentials too ' He said tapping his shirt pocket and the familiar crackle of a haze sheet moved underneath it.</p><p>'Good good , I'm a safety gal' I joked as I blew a kiss and walked past and out of the apartment.</p><p>'Bitch' I heard him whisper as he stayed a few steps behind me. </p><p>and into the nearest taxi we went.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>Pulling up at the fayre, this one was different, it was in a field a short way from town, and was more circus than fayre , and was more old fashioned than I thought it would be , but it was a nice surprise , something a little different from the adventures beforehand, but every adventure and encounter I have had recently has been different and enticing all the same.</p><p>I could finally see what Namjoon meant, his previous text making sense to me, as I stood in front of an attraction surrounded by purple and pink lights and mirrors on the front, saying in bold older style font ' Enter the Love Maze'.</p><p>'Now you see Jagi' He said pulling himself up behind me and speaking into my neck and then leading my hand to his face so I could marvel at his smug face.</p><p>But my hand stopped over his pocket, his eyes acknowledging me knowing we need to have our clause before anything else.</p><p>He took one sheet and I took the other and followed him fully into this attraction and the flattering mirrors inside. I was a house of mirrors,   a maze in which you started at one end and made it out the other , and I wont lie I was a little nervous knowing how clumsy this 6ft foot sex god was , he would no doubt break something and have to grab me to run away before either of us had to pay for it.</p><p>=======SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - BTS -  LOVE MAZE================================</p><p>The piped music , the failing air con and the disco lightening was both cheesy and entrancing all at the same time and the haze made the images in the mirrors dance even when I was standing still.</p><p>Namjoon was walking in front and turning every now and again and those dragon eyes duplicated themselves in every mirror there was , and I could feel his eyes penetrating everything on me.</p><p>We got lost and then found each other, and after a few mishaps and dead ends ,we found ourselves in the middle , and thankfully alone and with no audience.</p><p>With no warning , Namjoon grasped my arms hard, almost causing too much pain and he lifted me up and thrusted me against the glass, diving his whole body in between my knees and causing the glass behind me to creak.</p><p>He wanted in me and he wanted to fuck me until the walls cracked and maybe cut us both into a million pieces.</p><p>His hands were rough and were everywhere and his was more forceful than normal, and at this point I wasn't arguing, I had done rough foreplay and domination and rough sex in public before, it wasn't something unusual , but definitely the first time in a fayre ground attraction, but there seemed to be more than hunger in his mannerisms. He seemed to be trying to make me submit even though I was already his .</p><p>My high made me go along with him, and I enjoyed his hands enveloping the grooves in my vagina and his hands grasping for my juices and him alternating hands and placing the wetter hand on the glass behind us.</p><p>'Joon ....Baby.....ahhhh' I gasped , feeling his hands and nails inside me ,grazing me ,but again I had rougher than this.</p><p>'fuck , hush' He snapped at me , which I met with a kiss , which he ate fully.</p><p>He eventually abated, and stepped back unsteady on his feet , and the whites of his eyes very visible and he was surveying the mess he had made me as I struggled to gain the strength in my legs.</p><p>I readjusted my underwear and tried to wipe any wetness back to where it came from, but Joon had gone, no doubt wanting me to chase him in this maze, I was now the mouse in this scenario rather than his Kat.</p><p>But the maze twisted and I was coming down, both from the ribbons of orgasm that Namjoon had wiped on the mirrors that kept us upright , and the Haze wearing off as it always did .</p><p>'Namjoon' I said trying to raise my voice above the music still flowing, but I couldn't hear him.</p><p>'Come on Joon , You cant leave me high , dry and horny, its not fair!!! ' I laughed into the smoky air above , which was more steam than anything else.</p><p>The music shut off, no doubt the end of the playlist had been reached, and I was met with a sound that has never left me , and looking back still breaks my soul.</p><p>It was glass cracking and a guttural growl that permeated the air , bringing me instantly to my senses. It was him, it was Namjoon.</p><p>'Joon...What the fuck....where are you....' I said as I palmed each side of the mirrors to try and find the path , forgetting that the best way to do it was to look at my feet and follow the floor .</p><p>I could hear smashing and all I could hear from Namjoon was thick and aggressive Korean screaming into the air .</p><p>My feet picked up the pace and frantically tried to get closer to this sound and to the distressing sounds screaming all around me.</p><p>I must have screamed his name with no answer for sometime, until I found the space nearer the exit and my eyes where not prepared for what I saw.</p><p>Namjoon was growling at his reflection and smashing his forehand repeatedly at the mirror in front of him, making its spiderweb of cracks grow greater with every impact, he couldn't hear me or see me, and seemed intent on decimating his face on this mirror .</p><p>'JIMIN-AHHHHHHHH' he screamed until the air left his lungs.</p><p>My knees almost buckled as I started to run and grab him from behind to try and stop him forcing more blood out of him, which was now decorating the floor and painting his face.</p><p>He just reached round and grabbed me throwing me into the mirror , my back meeting the glass but miracously not cutting me.</p><p>Namjoon just landed fists around me , his eyes the purest dark Id ever seen.</p><p>'NAMJOON.....NOOOOOO.....STOP.....FUCKING HELL' I screamed trying to protect the sides of me as I didnt know if I was the next impact.</p><p>He just yelled and hit around me, but not hitting me screaming the same name over and over again.....JIMIN.</p><p>And just like that, he snapped and he was back , his eyes growing smaller and a fear washing over him as he seemed to now see I was in front of him.</p><p>His feet fell from under him as he stepped backwards almost disgusted with every move he had made but didnt seem like he remembered.</p><p>I just stood shaking, I didnt know what to do, I could feel the sweat on my back , and praying it wasn't his blood, I just stood, lips trembling and stomach knotting as I had no idea what I had just walked into.</p><p>Namjoon seemed to be having the fastest and harshest come down ever, his face contorting in emotion and for the first time, I saw him crying, it was fear and upset stretching its way across his whole body , his whole body falling onto the floor and adopting the foetal position as he attempted to hide his face and screams from leaking out.</p><p>He was like a frightened child, inconsolable and his tears and blood from his forehead meshing together.</p><p>I had to do something, this 6ft man mountain was crumbling at my feet, and I just paced towards him and fell onto my knees not caring if I cut myself and trying to prize his hands from his face.</p><p>'JOON....BABY....LOOK AT.....LOOK AT ME' I said with an unsteady tone to my voice .</p><p>'KAT....KAT....NO I CANT HAVE HURT YOU....NO....NOT AGAIN...FUCKKKKKKKKK' he said between gasps and ever flowing tears.</p><p>'Joon ....no ....im ok...im here....what's going on .....Joon' I said trying to keep his face locked onto mine.</p><p>'Jimin......Jimin-ah' He just sobbed as he sat up and just held my hands like a security blanket around his face, his blood beginning to lace around my fingertips.</p><p>'Who is Jimin  , Namjoon' I said softly to ground him, as his earth seemed to be ending in his eyes.</p><p>He couldn't stop crying and just embraced me resting his head on my chest, to which I responded and anchored him whilst he rode out this emotion, and he caught his breath in time with mine.</p><p>'I need to get you out of here Joon, you are bleeding' I said and I somehow managed to get him out of the maze and into a taxi outside.</p><p>Taxi's knew not to question things ,as they picked up all sorts of people and as long as someone paid the fee , they didnt care. I just sat cradling an exhausted Joon and holding a mass of paper towels against his head that I had found as we exited the maze next to cleaning equipment which I m sure was used to clean the attraction.</p><p>We got out the taxi and I braced his weight on me , his arm around my shoulders, and he was heavy and could barely stand , and even though I seemed stronger than I looked I was close to crumbling but I knew I had to guide him up the steps to my apartment, and have him somewhere safe.</p><p>I managed it....somehow , and placed Joon , who was now awash with dried blood and wounds on his forehead that had made his bleach blonde fringe, pink and red, his eyes where swollen and sullen and filled with a sadness I couldn't fathom.</p><p>He could barely sit up right , but I made him , after I had fetched my first aid kit and a bowl of water and a towel to clean his wounds. I had dealt with bloodied patrons many times over the years I worked and I knew my basics and right now I don't think Namjoon would go anywhere else.</p><p>I pulled an empty box towards me and used it as a seat, and with a hold of him hands to remain his anchor , I gently dabbed his wounds, making sure there was no glass in the them and cleaning them and dressing them with butterfly tape the best I could, all the time watching his eyes try to fight back the tears.</p><p>I had never seen him so vulnerable and my heart ached, and I was feeling for him , I wanted to help him, I cared and I didnt want to fight the urge to show him affection as was I now truly seeing his real self.</p><p>'Joon....Joon...Please look at me ' I said gently grazing my slight blood covered hand around one of his cheeks to guide his eyes to me.</p><p>'Joon please....you have to trust me now' I said breaking his stance and making his face look towards mine and my eyes promising comfort and not judgement.</p><p>His eyes ached and locked on mine and I knew he was with me now.</p><p>'Joon, what happened baby' I said trying to stir a response he may or may not have been ready to give at that point.</p><p>'Who is Jimin. Namjoon...its ok' I said holding my face near his to show him he could trust me , I was keeping him safe.</p><p>'It my fault ' he said his voice broken and low </p><p>'what's your fault Joon' I matched in tone'</p><p>'He is dead because I couldn't save...save him' He said with tears beginning to pool'</p><p>' what do you mean baby' I said gently moving my thumbs along his cheeks to show him it was ok to tell me and I would dry his tears as they fell.</p><p>'he ...he ....he was my baby brother , and he is dead......I loved....Love...him and I couldn't stop him from die...dying' He said as the sadness over took him and he just held onto me, until his tears ran out and he found his breath, the little boy in him , his eyes just looked at me , he knew there was no going back.</p><p>This was new, Joon had loved and his love is something he seemed to blame for the biggest loss he was telling me about. Jimin ...his brother, his dead brother . </p><p>What had happened in that maze...</p><p>'Joon...you can tell me ' I said  and sat back to show him I would listen.</p><p>He just looked at my eyes and knew there was now no going back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. 22 - Two sides of the same Penny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the deepest chapter so far and deals with back story for both characters and I have to add the following trigger warning.<br/>= suicide and implied suicide<br/>=implied rape /non consensual activity <br/>=death <br/>=murder and torture.</p><p>please remember this is solely a work of fiction.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Awkward silence just sat between us , my eyes trying to follow his to let him know he could give me the answers I needed tonight .</p><p>His body was trying to protect itself, his mannerisms that of a scared child who knew they where hurting but couldn't described how. Every time his brow furrowed the cuts on his forehead moved and the pain seemed to resonate in his eyes, like he was using it as a distraction away from his screaming soul.</p><p>I just sat patiently, I was swimming in the deep end right now and I could not get out now , I needed to know why tonight happened. We were both high but why the hell did he scream at someone who wasn't there.</p><p>'Joon' I said quietly to try and crack the air .</p><p>'No Kat....No' He said trying to steady his breathe .</p><p>'Well we have all night Joon, and I can't just ignore tonight ' I said in my previous tone.</p><p>'If I let you in...'Joon said stopping himself .</p><p>'If you let me in...what....why not' I said in response.</p><p>'I will hurt you too, tonight I almost did' He said almost snapping to make me stop questioning.</p><p>'and me letting you hurt yourself, I'm supposed to just let that go ?' I said trying not to raise my voice.</p><p>'Jagi......'He said.</p><p>'Don't Jagi me Joon, tell me....please....you can trust me' I said trying to hold his hand but with hesitance, and his eyes starting to crack as he knew I wouldn't stop until I was inside his walls.</p><p>'Kat ...baby....please' He said with small tears welling in the corner of his eyes.</p><p>I just stood up and took both his hands in mine, he was slumped in the chair I had left him in, he was in no position to comfortably tell me what I wanted to hear. I just indicated with my face to follow me and trust me , allowing my unusual softness towards him to let me in.</p><p>I sat on the bed and laid him down and just said softly to him that it was ok.</p><p>'Joon ...you cant fall now , you are laying here with me....now tell me......Jimin....' I said as I sat next to him as he tried to steady his breathe.</p><p>The moments seemed long but in reality they weren't  as he drew his breathe and gained strength from the air around.</p><p>'His name was Jimin, He was my baby brother' He said with his voice cracking as he began to let go.</p><p>'Your brother..'I responded .</p><p>'My only brother, His name was Park Jimin, he was 2 years younger than me ' Joon began.</p><p>'Park Jimin...but your last name is Kim' I asked as kindly as I could.</p><p>'Yes , Park, I was a Park once , before...before all this.....but I could let that come with me ' He answered, and I knew more was coming. </p><p>'I chose Kim, Kim is part of me too, maybe the only part that was worth anything ....it was my Mother's last name 'He said .</p><p>'Your mother ' I responded back, wanting him to keep going and not close in on me again.</p><p>'My mother, the only person who maybe really loved properly, Grace was her name , Grace Kim ....but ....but' He said trying to keep his composure.</p><p>'Go on Joon its ok' I said resting my hand lightly on his shoulder, not caring that the blood from his head had hardened on the linen below my hand.</p><p>'She was ...was...an angel...but love killed her ...' He said , closing his eyes to block out the memories.</p><p>'Joon...no' I said shocked at what I had heard but trying to keep calm. I knew at this rate I was going to hear a lot of things I could not have imagined.</p><p>'She died when I was 16, she ....she killed herself and left me and Jimin...I didnt know ....know...until it was too late ....why' He said trying not to meet my eyes.</p><p>'Go on Joon, I've got you' I said firming my palm on his shoulder.</p><p>'I should have stopped him from turning her to that, she didnt deserve it , she didnt do anything wrong , but I couldn't save her , I loved her and I couldn't ' He said rising his fists to his eyes in an effort to push his tears back in.</p><p>'Breathe ...baby....please' I spoke to Joon as I laid down to be along side him, resting my hand on his chest, following the beat of his heart with my fingers.</p><p>'Ji-Hoon , Park Ji-Hoon was my father , a man I should have admired and looked up to , he started all of this , He said with a resolution coming to his eyes.</p><p>'your father' I mirrored back to him.</p><p>'My father was the opposite of anything you could think of as love, he was a cold hard man, he didnt care who he hurt as long as he had his way ...' Joon said trying to stop the anger in his voice .</p><p>'He hated me , from the moment I was created me , he just hated me , but that never stopped me wanting his approval' Joon lead on.</p><p>'Stupid right ' Joon said , trying to see if my gaze had changed .</p><p>'Joon ...you aren't stupid ....no' I said reassuring him whilst bracing myself internally for the rest of the story.</p><p>'I was a disappointment , even if I tried to help with his business he just never was able to care' Joon said shifting his body slightly, the tension coming and going.</p><p>'He was a monster, and that monster lives on in me now I guess' He said noticing the blood on his hands and trying to turn away from me.</p><p>'NO Joon, no you aren't going there' I said , applying pressure with my palm to stop him rolling away from me .</p><p>'Kat' He said pushing my hand away and sitting up with his back to me.</p><p>'No Namjoon, you don't get to do that' I said matching his abruptness and getting up and walking around him quicker than he could match.</p><p>'Kat no.....stop......this monster could have hurt you today' He said his eyes growing darker .</p><p>' I cannot do love.....it doesn't work......it doesn't ...but ...fuck...you....why you' He said trying to get up .</p><p>'Wooooo no you don't bud, you don't get to leave it like this ' I said blocking his exit.</p><p>'Kat ....move!!' He said trying to puff his chest out between his harsh breathes.</p><p>'Like ...fuck' I said crossing my arms in front of me in defiance.</p><p>'you.....'He said tensing his body .</p><p>' me what!' I said staring him down.</p><p>'Why you..' He said almost spitting down into me.</p><p>'What !!!' I yelled.</p><p>'WHY COULDNT YOU JUST BE AN ADDICTION.....WHY AM I FEELING YOU IN HERE .....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME!' he said grabbing my shoulders craving an answer, and pulling me into him and I didnt know what he would do next.</p><p>'FUCK SAKE NAMJOON' I said shrugging and making him let me go.</p><p>'AND YOU THINK I DONT FEEL YOU TOO ASSHOLE!!!!' I said screaming and yielding tears towards him, maybe for the first time ever, showing him that I couldn't help myself.</p><p>'KAT ....IM SORRY....BUT' Namjoon said trying to walk towards me .</p><p>'I CANT STOP' He said catching up arm and grasping so I couldn't turn around.</p><p>'You don't do love Joon, its ok neither do I ' I said trying to loosen his grasp.</p><p>'No I don't, I cant say those words to someone , I cant.......the last two people I did ...they died ' He said wanting me to turn around.</p><p>'ever thought maybe I was already dead Joon!!' I said trying to stave my tears back into my eyes .</p><p>'Kat' he uttered , letting me go.</p><p>'I watched you, screaming into a mirror......I watched you cut your head into fucking ribbons and rather than run the fuck away from our shitshow ....... I didnt, I stayed....like a bloody idiot I stayed ...because you.....you....you fucking bastard!!!' I said waving my hands around as I couldn't contain the emotion anymore, my breath hitching faster than I could catch up with.</p><p>His eyes showed me shame, he was listening to me and drifting with my tide of emotion.</p><p>'Oh you didnt expect that did you, this little addicted kitty is a bit complex for you ' I snapped back at him, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.</p><p>'Kat...Jagi' He said stepping towards me .</p><p>'You want my answers, everyone in my fucking life has killed me!! , everyone who was supposed to protect me didnt!!, everyone I thought I could trust abandoned me like a sodding stray!! ,and heck even some tried to have their way even when I said no....' I said trying not to scream anymore than I wanted to , and I just held my hands in my hair over my ears trying to drown out those voices in my head of memories past .</p><p>I just stood there shaking, not caring that Joon was seeing this side of me , I had no resolution left.</p><p>I felt him embrace me from behind and hold me tight against him, and I couldn't fight, I couldn't and didnt want to.</p><p>' Don't you dare say it ' I said both craving and not wanting what seemed to be our forbidden word. </p><p>'I cant say it' He said resting his head on top of mine, and I could feel a wet warmth caressing my head.</p><p>========SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - SEETHER FT AMY LEE OF EVANESCENCE==============</p><p>' We are broken Joon, too broken for this world...' I said trying to slid away from his arms but sinking into them all the same.</p><p>'Ill find another way jagi' He said squeezing me into him, which made my sense come to the front more.</p><p>' What do you mean....' I said nervously.</p><p>'I found a way to tell Jimin ...even after he was gone' He said softly.</p><p>' A word forbidden but I feel you....you are in me ...and I tried to stop you, but you are like her ....and It drew me in' He said lacing my ears with his softened voice.</p><p>' She knew how to do it properly, she saw through my bullshit, she tried to save me without saving herself baby' He said his warmth in his arms growing and I knew who he meant.</p><p>' your....your mother... ' I said and a gasp and tears escaping me as I felt his grip loosen as I turned towards him, his warmth in his eyes returning.</p><p>'Yes ....I tried not to, but you remind me of her, you try your hardest not to show how the world hurts you , but it doesn't work' he said standing closer to me.</p><p>'you're wrong' I said trying to deflect what he way saying.</p><p>' Jagi...Kat......I tried to ignore the light I saw the first night we meet, I had to know you, but I couldn't risk this becoming a way I lost you' He said.</p><p>'I thought I could stay addicted to you, I thought that something I've used to block out the shit in my head , would stop me drowning in you, but It didnt...I didnt' he said as I listened too frozen to move.</p><p>' you are in my words, you flow out of me , and I tried to get you out that way' He said as he turned and went to sit on the couch, me slowly following.</p><p>' You saw the writing right...its everywhere in my trailer, but I knew you couldn't understand it ' he said .</p><p>'The han....hangul' I said my voice cracking as his words melted my exterior more.</p><p>'Yes ...a little habit I picked up from Jimin....he was obsessed with the world of emotion, he was an artist in all sense of the word , and when he left, it was all I had ' He said </p><p>'so you write' I said moving closer to him.</p><p>'Yes I do, in a language that was mine before I could speak it 'He said placing his palms together, his eyes following mine.</p><p>'I know that feeling 'I said , moving to the couch.</p><p>' We both had to learn the words we speak now , English wasn't ours to begin with' Joon said matching my moves on the couch.</p><p>Namjoon wasn't wrong, we both where from our own corners of the world and the words we speak now where not the words we where born hearing, and strangely It was abit like the conversation now, both of us having almost no defences against the other.</p><p>'Jimin .....He was obsessed with L...Lo....Love' Joon said strained .</p><p>'He was trusting , the complete opposite of me , the loving fool , he thought every one was capable of goodness , he even thought our father could change' He said and began to open up again.</p><p>'Ji-Hoon was no father Kat, he hated me for being me, He hated Jimin more for being himself and things he couldn't change' He said stopping suddenly.</p><p>'Couldn't...' I said.</p><p>'Jimin was gay , and well I am fluid ......I too didnt care who I fell for eventually' he said.</p><p>'But my father saw that as weakness, like a disease in both of us , he just didnt have an ounce of love in him, he couldn't see that there was no wrong there, of course there isn't...I mean damn...whoever you choose to be with or care about ...gender and sexual orientation should never come into it.....and fuck...grr...., and his ignorance....his fucking ignorance meant his wrong doings caught up to us all' he said.</p><p>' He was a monster, he dealt in human misery, he was a ....a...drugs king' He said stopping expecting me to be shocked.</p><p>' He and ...and...his best friend Myun-Li , they were brothers in everything but blood , they were every bad emotion and decision wrapped into two demented souls' he said</p><p>' what happened' I said , coming to and listening , setting aside any pain I had from the moment passed.</p><p>'He is the reason....the reason for ...' He said, pulling down his shirt collar to reveal the scar on his neck , that I had noticed the first night we met.</p><p>'Your scar..' I said .</p><p>'Yes, the only real thing he ever left me , It was my biggest regret, trying to help him and falling for his crap' He said , lowering his head as I could see the memories where beginning to hurt, but I just stayed silent .</p><p>' I thought towards the end of knowing him, that He had started to care....after all I had taken an interest in his business , I had tried to be like him, and he betrayed me' He said with the tension growing in his voice.</p><p>' Myun-Li had tried to leave my father, he wanted to control him and my father never liked any element of control, He wanted to break away, and Ji-hoon stole everything he could , but Myun-Li found out, and anger unbated will always get what it is after' He said trying to stop the words flowing.</p><p>'Go on' I said trying to get my voice working again.</p><p>'It was just before Jimin, I was with my father , clearing out the last building we could, when he found us' He said.</p><p>'Myun-Li...' I said </p><p>'Yes ...he had been tipped of .....his fucking son......had got what he needed from me and Jimin and that heads up meant we didnt make the clean break' He said , the shakiness returning.</p><p>'What happened' I said back.</p><p>'We were about to leave and Myun-Li, He thought I was Ji-Hoon from the back , as sadly the fates are that cruel, that I looked like my father...even now' He said </p><p>'Myun-Li, stabbed me in the throat, and would have killed me , but he realised that he had the wrong target' He continued.</p><p>'My father was right in front of me , I yelled with what I could, a blade trying to stop the very blood supplying me' He said , his pain evident and growing.</p><p>'Joon...my god' I said reaching my hand to my mouth.</p><p>'My father looked and square in the eyes, right into my depths and he walked away, he left me there and left me to die' He said ending his sense with a large intake of breath as he let his back fall against the couch more.</p><p>'Fuck.....' I said in shock.</p><p>'My father got away , Ji-Hoon Park, the biggest fucking coward I had ever met, let his own son , his blood to bled to fucking death, valuing money and drugs over me' he said.</p><p>'But you are here....' I said a little confused.</p><p>'Yes ...Jimin...In probably his last act of love for me, saved me...he had found out what Myun-li was going to do and reached out , he called the police , he called anyone he could...and they found me , barely alive, in my own pool of blood , somewhere between here and whatever is next, and the police had caught Myun-Li after following my blood to him' He said.</p><p>'But Jimin' I said </p><p>'It was the last punchline in the story, it was the grand crescendo even I could not see coming' he said , with a dryness in his voice.</p><p>'Tell me Joon' I said, I knew he needed to say it and I needed to hear it.</p><p>'Myun-Li's son.....he found out what was happening and rather than save his father , he found Jimin...he and his demented friend.....They...they...killed him, they murdered him , they had wormed their way in before and posed as his friends , convincing him they wanted to stop Myun-Li too' He said</p><p>'Oh my god' I could only respond.</p><p>'Jimin died because he loved me, he trusted two fucking monsters, just like I did and he died because he loved me' he said cracking.</p><p>'No he didnt Joon' I said trying to muster an answer.</p><p>' What...no' Joon said matching me.</p><p>'Jimin did what any brother would do, he saved you , he knew he could and he chose to, what happened next was the actions of those who killed him, it wasn't you...' I said as both our tears rose again.</p><p>' I know you wont believe me Joon, we both tried to keep each other arms length this whole time, but we are not in the shallows anymore even if that makes me shiver to say' I said .</p><p>'I know' He said his tears matching mine and his hands working their way up my face and cradling my cheekbones against his palms.</p><p>' I cant say the words to you Jagi ...I cant risk' He said resting his injured forehead against mine.</p><p>' I know...so.....we cut the legal high crap....and we find different words...right' I said.</p><p>I knew this was it for me , I gave up the fight , I had to swim with this man, or I would regret it for the rest of my life , whether that last a day, a year or eons, I wasn't wanting to be anywhere other than right in this man in front of me</p><p>'Where have you been' Joon whispered to me</p><p>'Lost' I responded almost grazing his lips.</p><p>'We really where more alike than we knew' He laughed gently grazing my lips back.</p><p>'Yeah ...fucked up......two sides of the same penny' I laughed raising my hands to meet his caressing my face.</p><p>He finally noticed his blood still on my hands , his red tinge spread across my olive hands, and his eyes closed slowly.</p><p>'I will give you different word Jagi....I will have you in my blood in a different way ...I promise' He said drawing me into kiss him and I met his mouth with our tears swimming down the sides of our faces.</p><p>'what are we doing' I said trying to resist ,</p><p>'We are writing right now... ' He said his eyes enticing me back to his lips and I felt myself fall into him.</p><p>after a while , we came up for air , we where both dazed but this was the start, the start of my boyfriend finally being more than a label, we let down our guards , we let each other in, we just had to invent a new language to keep ourselves safe , both too scared to repeat any alleged mistakes from the past.</p><p>'I think we need to clean up Jagi' He said knowing full well we couldn't sit in the mesh of blood sweat and tears we had fallen into, and I made the suggestion for us to shower, to wipe our bodies clean, we could be a blank slate by morning.</p><p>That night I knew more about him than I had ever thought I would , I knew I didnt have all the specifics but I didnt need them, names and places and times outside of what Joon told me somehow didnt matter , I didnt need to know everything about Jimin's death, I knew enough and I knew that I had to protect Namjoon, maybe for the first time since his mother, I had to keep safe my newest port in the storm of my life.</p><p>Namjoon, I will find other words too ....I promise.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. 23 - Blood Brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING <br/>= DOMESTIC ABUSE<br/>=ASSAULT<br/>=MURDER <br/>=DISCUSSIONS ABOUT SEXUALITY<br/>=SUICIDE </p><p>In this chapter we see through Namjoon's memories of him and his little brother Jimin, we see key memories and how these brothers kept each other safe.<br/>We see from Jimin's perspective what Jimin goes through at the end.<br/>it was hard to write as it was a lot of timeline to cover.<br/>Kat doesn't know a lot of this past as Namjoon doesn't tell her, he just recalls the memories in his mind as she sleeps next to him, as he is allowing himself to feel when she is asleep.<br/>Namjoon doesn't know the full rundown with Jungkook and Tae , it is there for the reader to understand the strength Namjoon gave to Jimin and the promise to never compromise who he is .</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>==Readers Perspective===</p><p>Kat and Namjoon, just laid trying to fall asleep in each others arms, still both in their silence reeling from the movement of tonight.</p><p>Fucking each other could wait, and to be honest , they were past that now , their feelings whilst not being named where flowing and they would now involve emotion. Haze had its place and that was derelict now and their new honesty stilled filled the air whilst in their silence they tried to figure out their new words for their relationship.</p><p>Both slipped in and out of sleep, waking to make sure the other was sleeping and still in their arms, but as they woke in solitude to the other sleeping, the memories of the past flowed in their minds , chapters the other didnt know, the words the other couldn't here.</p><p> </p><p>Namjoons  memories :</p><p>2001, 4 year old Jimin and 6 year old Namjoon, running around a garden.</p><p> 'Joonie, Joonie, Be monster again....do it ' said a giggling Jimin trying to contain his excitement from his rapidly approaching older brother .</p><p>'Rawr........Im going to get you' a slightly larger Namjoon roared making Jimin laugh and fall to his knees.</p><p>'Joonie....when will I be a big monster like you' a doe eyed fluffy haired Jimin asked.</p><p>'You will always be mini , Jimin, I will always be bigger than you' Namjoon smirked rubbing his little brothers hair.</p><p>'But I want to be a big boy , I want to be the big monster mon mon' Jimin said , his little lip quivering.</p><p>Namjoon just smiled and ran away from his little brother .</p><p> </p><p>==26 year old Namjoon , laid with his eyes closed trying to reabsorb the memory from escaping , and he didnt want to wake Kat, he closed his eyes and thought back again==</p><p>2007: 11 year old Namjoon and a 9 year old Jimin , hiding under a bed , Namjoon trying to stop his brother crying.</p><p>'FUCKING BITCH.....YOU FUCKING WHORE' A voice bellowed , and a rapid onset of footsteps hurtled towards the two young boys hiding under a large oak bed , trying not to be found , the fumble of a failed door lock heard and an entrance with the sound of flesh meeting flesh with a slap that resonated  through the air.</p><p>'JI-HOON......DONT .....GET OFF ME ......AHHH' a woman said through strangled gasps .</p><p>'HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO WARN YOU GRACE, STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS , KEEP THOSE LITTLE SHITS IN LINE , AND FUCK ME WHEN I SAY' an adult male voice growled.</p><p>Her body could be heard fighting back the adult male who rained down blows on her , the boys hidden under the bed , could hear the creaks of the bed above them and the screams meshed with their sobs, Namjoon grasping Jimin's mouth tightly , so as not to be heard and all the while delicately whispering to Jimin that It would be ok.</p><p>The bed grew silent and the male got off .</p><p>'Now will you remember Grace.....I don't care for your madness, you are lucky anyone loves you.......my money, will keep you in check.....and those little fuckers will see you for what you are , and they will come with me ' He snarled as he left the room.</p><p>Grace sat on the bed , her husband had attacked her again, but her mind , it wasn't what it was , it was slowly disintegrating, he had knocked it out of her with every blow.</p><p>Despite being the perfect wife and the perfect mother, she was an imperfect human in her mind, she would always sit and reason with herself as to how she deserved whatever Ji-Hoon gave her. </p><p>She loved her sons with her whole soul, they where her anchor and they were what kept her tethered, their youth giving them an innocence that would shield them from everything.</p><p>Grace got up and straightened herself up and walked off to resume the kitchen duties she always did.</p><p>Jimin and Namjoon were still under the bed , Jimin sobbing and holding his brother t-shirt so tight  , Namjoon just held his little brother, hoping that Jimin would cry himself to sleep and he could then move to their room. But Namjoon just laid still and his eyes grew darker with anger, and hurt and he may have resolved to himself at that point that his father was evil and he knew he had to try and save his mother .</p><p>==PRESENT DAY NAMJOON STIRRED FROM THE MEMORY , SILENTLY SAYING 'OEMMA' TO HIMSELF.</p><p>He didnt like reliving these memories but he knew after tonight he had to , he had to understand how this one sleeping beauty on his arm had changed things , and showed him care like he remembered from his mother .</p><p>2011 = 16 year old Namjoon , 14 year old Jimin</p><p>Both where having a heart to heart conversation after Jimin had been beaten up at school because people where talking and they knew who his father was, and the two issues didnt mesh.</p><p>'Joonie....are you sure .....is that what I am' Jimin said as he sniffed through his tears. </p><p>'Jimin...there is nothing wrong with you' Namjoon said , resting his hands reassuringly on his brothers shoulders.</p><p>'But Appa says I'm disgusting ...that I'm a fa......' Jimin said before being interrupted by Namjoon abruptly.</p><p>' Don't ever say that word Jimin, its a disgusting word made by fuckers too closed off to ever understand what it is like to be genuine' Namjoon said cupping his little brothers puffy little cheeks .</p><p>'You are gay Jimin, and there is no shame in it , you must never feel shame' Namjoon led on.</p><p>'But .....but'  Jimin stuttered.</p><p>'NO Jimin......you are you, and you have every right to be you' Namjoon continued .</p><p>'But Appa'.....Jimin lead on.</p><p>'You believe that drug riddled sack of shit over me....I will never lie to you Mini' Namjoon reassured.</p><p>'It hurts Joonie, it hurts ....why doesn't he love us' Jimin said as he cried  softly , his tears riddling Namjoon's hair.</p><p>'Because he is a soulless bastard Mini, he loves his money, he loves fucking his women which aren't mom and  He and Myun-li are trying to create a world we will have no part of....DO YOU HEAR ME' Namjoon said raising his brothers head to meet his reassuring eyes.</p><p>'I hear you Hyung' Jimin said softly.</p><p>' Be you, be gay and be happy...you always have me'  Namjoon said embracing his brother and holding him tight.</p><p>Namjoon always looked out for Jimin, every passing year , he loved every facet of his brother, and as the pair grew , even Jimin's eccentricities didnt stir anything bad in Namjoon's heart, he was determined to be his brothers protector and the man his brother could turn to for anything.</p><p>2012 - A nearly 17 year old Namjoon and a now 15 year old Jimin.</p><p>Sitting at their grandparents back garden, it had been 6 months since their mother died and both where having the conversation they avoided.</p><p>'She wasn't killed was she ..' Jimin said as he held a coke can in his hand and played with the ring pull, to try and distract from the awkwardness in his voice.</p><p>Namjoon just sat back trying to brace himself that He will soon have to tell his brother the truth, even though he already seemed to know.</p><p>'No mini, she wasn't' he said with a sadness in his voice.</p><p>'She did it didnt she........' Jimin said , a maturity rising in his voice.</p><p>'Yes bud , she did.....he drove her to it , all those years...he broke her ' Namjoon said, as his knuckles went white from clenching the concrete wall he and Jimin where sitting on.</p><p>' I know Joonie.....I know ' Jimin said staring at his brother and the silence resuming between both of them.</p><p>Grace Kim had died when was 39, initially written off as a traffic accident in which she was driving but this wasn't the truth, nothing added up but everyone seemed to buy Ji-hoons fake tears and explanation at her funeral months before.</p><p>Grace had become a broken woman, and after having enough of Ji-Hoon and wanting to escape the torture of Ji-Hoon and Myun-Li, she walked into rush hour traffic , just wanting the pain to stop , taking nothing with her but two baby photos of her boys , she was killed instantly.</p><p>2013 -  a now 18 almost 19 year old Namjoon and a 17 year old Jimin.</p><p>They where enjoying an illicit beer, both being underage , behind their fathers estate.</p><p>'So tell me ....what crazy art are you obsessed with this Min' Namjoon said taking a swig and resting his head against the cool wall behind him.</p><p>' Art isn't crazy Mon, Art is love, its beautiful ...and well I do get to stare at a lot of life painting ....those guys are damn hot' Jimin chuckled trying to stir a laugh from Namjoon, and it worked.</p><p>'Ha there you go again Jimin, obsessed with love .....I mean....isn't it all just skin to skin at our age' He laughed.</p><p>'Hyung whilst you aren't Gay...you to appreciate a toned male ' Jimin said trying to win the conversation and matching his brothers drinking gulp for gulp.</p><p>'Ha ha got me there' Namjoon laughed and shook his head'</p><p>'Mom was love , she loved us even if she couldn't love herself...I know that for sure' Jimin said</p><p>'Yeah ..yeah' Namjoon said letting out a pained breath remembering their Mother.</p><p>'I want to put her love out into this world, I want to explore it , drink it in, and be everything she should still have been, I want to love for her ' Jimin said , sounding hopeful as he gestured in the air beer bottle in his hand.</p><p>'Dad buys my routine you know, he thinks I have forgiven everything , hell ...I even find myself sometimes thinking he is thawing a bit, and maybe he loves me' Namjoon said almost disgusted at the words coming from him.</p><p>' Fake love isn't the same Joon' Jimin answered.</p><p>'Well either way, we are both nearing 19 and we will be adults in our society and well the sky is the limit, and besides you have mom's trust , you are going to college....granted to study dance. But still' Namjoon said , now drinking the bubbles from the bottom of the bottle and now began working on the label.</p><p>'You are just jealous that I can dance and you cant ' Jimin jested back , trying to elbow his older brother in the ribs.</p><p>' Ha ha yeah....but seriously Jimin.....why are you getting close to him....what if .....if' Namjoon led off.</p><p>'He is like his father' Jimin responded.</p><p>'Yeah' Namjoon responded.</p><p>'Jungkook isn't Myun-Li , Joonie' Jimin said trying to reassure him.</p><p>'Besides he and Taehyung look out for me at school' Jimin said trying to sound proud.</p><p>'I know mini, I'm sorry, we aren't Ji-Hoon so maybe I'm wrong' Namjoon responded , trusting his love obsessed brother was right </p><p>Namjoon had hoped he was wrong and over the coming years it did seem he was, Jungkook was close to his father but to those looking in didnt seem to be interested in Ji-hoons and Myun-Li's dealings , he just fucked about with Tae , occasionally bringing Jimin along too and they were just typical teenagers and Namjoon hoped they would move on as he planned to do when he was 19, or at least he would try.</p><p> </p><p>early 2015- A 21 year old Namjoon and an 18 year old Jimin.</p><p>MESSAGES:</p><p>10.01pm</p><p>Jimin; Moni be careful , if dad works this out , we are both fucked .</p><p>Namjoon: He wont, I'm going to bring that bastard down once and for all.</p><p>Jimin: Saranghae Hyung(I love you Brother), Ill stay safe .</p><p>Jimin closed his phone , knowing his brother was going to try and get them both out of this hell that had been most of their life , Namjoon had kept up the act and even half believed that once he and his father had taken all they could for Myun-Li they would be free and maybe finally Ji-Hoon would love his eldest son.</p><p>Jimin was close and trusting and even half infatuated with Jungkook, Taehyung was always by their side , Jungkook was Namjoon's age and Tae was a year younger . Sure they seemed like trouble makers , but Jimin trusted these friends of his, despite Jungkook's DNA being a problem between the Park's and the Jeons .</p><p>Jimin was going out to meet the boys , tired from graduating school early and starting college. He didnt like to be late or make Jungkook feel any frustration.</p><p>He walked as he walked to a local bar, a million times before, but as he walked a black van followed him, he tried to ignore it and keep his mind on the fact that Namjoon was trying to save them right now ,and he needed to keep the love of his brother in his heart, that very love that had got him this far.</p><p>But the van picked up pace, and Jimin tried to run but just slid about on the damp paving slabs which had been caught in the summer showers and before he knew it , he was in the back of the van bound and gagged ,and shaking like the scared child who had heard his mother beaten years before.</p><p>' SHHHHHHHH' A voice said as Jimin regained consciousness , his head shrouded in a fabric .</p><p>' Chim Chim....come on ...wake the fuck up you little ....' the voice spat and it sunk through the fabric.</p><p>Jimin knew the voice but his eyes couldn't take the light when the hood came off.</p><p>He didnt dare believe it , He couldn't.</p><p>'Well well .....look what the fairies dragged in' The voice chuckled as it came into view.</p><p>Jungkook just lorded about in front of Jimin who was bound to a meat hook with his hands above his head.</p><p>'Kook-ah...what ...what are you' Jimin said before a punch landed across his face knocking his head almost 180.</p><p>'DONT SPEAK UNTIL YOU ARE FUCKING SPOKEN TO ........HAHAHA SOULMATE' A voice hissed it shook any type of pain from its fist before standing in front of Jimin all cocky and arrogant.</p><p>'TAE ENOUGH' Jungkook spat at a hyper Taehyung who was eager to get in another blow.</p><p>'Ok ok chill brother, I just wanna play with him, I mean after all  we have had to fake this shit for years with this .....flouncy ......grrr' Tae said and hissed towards Jimin who was now sobbing as this reality unfolded around him.</p><p>' I'm guessing this wasn't in your love story now was it Jimin' Jungkook said as he strood up to Jimin and grabbed his hair to force him to look Jungkook in the eyes .</p><p>' Love .....you don't know it ...' Jimin managed to mouth back and smirk at Jungkook, an expression Namjoon always made when he tried to win an argument.</p><p>' Its overrated , just like you, I mean fuck you really think we didnt know' Jungkook said .</p><p>' What ' Jimin said back.</p><p>'I know about Namjoon, I know that asshole is trying to beat my father, and your pig of a father is eating it all up like a great big cock' Jungkook hissed as he strutted the boards in front of Jimin.</p><p>'Cock....haha Jimin knows that one' Tae spat back at Jimin.</p><p>Jimin didnt flinch, he was secure in who he was and didnt let the taunts he has had for years ever have an effect on his .</p><p>'did you work all day on that one Tae' He pursed back, causing Tae to lose his shit and Jungkook had to restrain him and throw him down onto the ground to get him to stop,</p><p>'Jimin ....that smart little mouth gets you in trouble......your brother isn't going to be an obstacle after tonight '  Jungkook continued as he straightened himself up.</p><p>'You know nothing about my brother ' Jimin spat back, Namjoon's courage flowing in him from the several times in his life that Namjoon had had to protect Jimin and teach him to fend for himself .</p><p>'I know everything Jimin, fucking everything and when you pathetic fucking Parks are out of the way, the enigma  will flood this town and we will show the world that we really are the true power here' Jungkook spun in Jimin's direction. </p><p>'Never .......'Jimin said, his strength slowly leaving him the longer he just hung there.</p><p>'Oh really....and what are you and that asshole going to do.....kiss me ...hahahahaha' Jungkook broke away laughing.</p><p>' I've done more than you know and well maybe they already caught up to Myun-Li' Jimin said using his energy to laugh and anger Jungkook further .</p><p>'Jimin......Don't fuck about......or I'm going to ....' Jungkook spat , his face barely and inch from Jimin's, their bare chests meeting .</p><p>'Oh you didnt think I actually had a brain right .....just a nice ass you could watch' Jimin said determined to make Jungkook snap so he could some how free himself from the hook if Jungkook got close enough for him to climb.</p><p>' They should be close .....daddy doesn't like the police does he ....and I bet he hates Valiant even more' Jimin said , making the air break and Jungkook feel a cold sharp strike to his spine.</p><p>' bastard' Jungkook mouth at Jimin who just laughed , his sweat covering his face and lips and spreading into the air as his laugh grew.</p><p>Tae and Jungkook seemed to mould into one in Jimin's eye line , they had a hint of fear mixed with a pissed off attitude, their looks being matched by each .</p><p>' Don't think I didnt know who was following you too' Jimin said gasping losing his strength.</p><p>'You know nothing , you stupid little...cu......' Jungkook began to say as he went towards Jimin.</p><p>'Oh Kookie....have a heart.....they will be after you last' Jimin said as he just breathed his remaining breath before his legs buckled.</p><p>Jungkook just stood there, trying to formulate a plan in his head , and Taehyung beginning to do to a text message to an unknown recipient.</p><p>'Have a heart you say Jimin....Finally you make some sense' Jungkook said and he spun around.</p><p>The blood curdling scream filled the air as Jungkook thrusts a dagger from the back of his leather trousers and into Jimin's chest, , pushing the hilt as far into his ribs as he could.</p><p>Jimin's eyes hit Jungkook's, locked as his life flowed out of him.</p><p>'Joooooooo.....' Jimin said with his final breath , his blood flowing faster than anyone could keep up with, He couldn't finish saying his brothers name.</p><p>Jungkook just stood there , making sure he had taken all of Jimin with that one final blow.</p><p>Taehyung just howled and whooped behind Jungkook.</p><p>'Beautiful Kook....Fucking fabulous.....such art ' Tae said eager to get a few hits in to the departed Jimin.</p><p>'As always my dear Tae , I always have the last brush stroke ' Jungkook said through pursed lips , slowing guiding the blade from Jimin and wiping it from his blood away on his thighs,</p><p>'Now I trust you have let my dad know' Jungkook said spinning round and placing the dagger back in his trousers.</p><p>'Of course, Namjoon wont see it coming ' Jungkook responded.</p><p>'What do we do with the leftovers' Tae said walking towards the lifeless Jimin.</p><p>' Make it a spectacle Tae, Make sure Joon sees him, if he manages to survive' Jungkook said .</p><p>'Valiant and the police......stupid boy' Jungkook said to himself quietly as those in the room removed Jimin for the end of the masterpiece.</p><p>'If you survive this Joon, I will find you, You will be the final art ' Jungkook said as he laughed to himself , his face rippling with Evil.</p><p>PRESENT DAY NAMJOON==================================================</p><p>Namjoon just curled into Kat , never knowing the full ins and out of exactly how Jimin died , and how Jimin did fight just as he was taught. Jimin tried to save Joon all the time, trying to pay his older brother for all his love he gave at the expense of his own.</p><p>Namjoon just sunk into a sleeping Kat, that same presence wanting to keep her safe, Jimin's teachings of love starting to permeate his soul.</p><p>Namjoon would never ever lose the vision of how the police found Jimin, Strapped to a tree in the Park home , his heart visible through his wound , Namjoon was determined to not let Kat meet the same fate, all the time not knowing , that the enigma , Jungkook's New Jade Enigma was closer than he knew.</p><p>He at this time thought by omitting names he could wipe Jungkook and Tae from existence and their names couldn't pollute Kats life.</p><p>He just breathed Kat in, holding her , feeling her heart beat and being grateful that it did.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. 24- Candlelight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After the revelations they made, they are now together and no longer just a label to each other.<br/>Namjoon attempts a date with Kat , and it doesn't go exactly to plan, but they find a new way to have sex, now the haze is not doing the work for them.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So we had become something ,we were now together in whatever way our souls had figured out.</p><p>That night had changed everything ,we had both bared more than we ever thought we could , but one thing was sure, we couldn't be without each other anymore.</p><p>Boyfriend wasn't just a label anymore , it was a fact and his title and his place in the thawing parts of my heart.</p><p>We decided we needed to have a few days to adjust , and indeed Namjoon needed to heal from the wounds on his head , but he was always with me , he kept his messages flowing and he started to show me the words he had been working on.</p><p>I started to work on being comfortable in the first real relationship I had had in a long time, and also I had started working at Dark Hope after Hobi came to Bangs bar to work out the ins and outs over a cold beer, he does make me laugh though, drinking a full pint through a straw and being hyper as hell for about half an hour afterwards ...a very strange individual but he seems ok, and well it is more money at the end of the day.....and evenings at bangs and late night to early mornings a few times a week at Dark Hope will do just fine.</p><p>For once in a long time, I didnt feel the urge to move on, that had followed me my whole adult life and not going to lie it was kind of nice , even if it did unnerve me a little.</p><p>I just was looking forward to the next part with Namjoon.</p><p>==========================================================</p><p>'Boyfriend ....Yoongi.....I have a boyfriend ' I said to the bemused cat who was currently watching me try to piece together a meal from whatever was left in the apartment.</p><p>'Right ....right .....yeah I get you' I said to him as I noticed the expression in his face showed he really didnt give a shit , I think he just wanted feeding and tended to forget he was the guest and not the lodger , he just showed up one night and never left.</p><p>I walked over to the foot of my bed  and sat down placing my toast and bacon down by my side and half keeping an eye on Yoongi in case he thought it was open pickings for him.</p><p>I folded my legs in front of me , and flicked bits of fur off me that had been picked up from being in Yoongi's company that day.</p><p>'I have a hard time saying it you know' I said to Yoongi , who was paying more attention this his own tail that he was to me at that point.</p><p>The truth is my past was in my head all the time, It reminded me all the time that in the past I never felt good enough, I never had anyone look at me the way Namjoon did, unless of course they wanted something.</p><p>Those in my past that had taken advantage , they hadn't listened to me ,they even ignored the word no and took what they wanted and that always stayed with me.</p><p>I worried about telling Namjoon it all, even though we both knew we were similar , both bathed in our own pain , that had bashed the concept of love and ability to say the word without to fear to anyone.</p><p>Heck I didnt even say it to Yoongi, he deserved it , he was a fluffy little dipshit who had listened to my tears ever since we met, tears I hid from everyone, and tears I shed when I believed love was pain and because of that I would never have what was normal to everyone else, and with those thoughts it just built my resolution to just keep moving about and I had fit into that routine for years.</p><p>I was more vulnerable than I let people know and I was willing for once to be that with Namjoon and I had aa hard time accepting that change could be a good thing.</p><p>I would often just spend time listening to the world and have Yoongi asleep on my lap , candle light lapping the room as I just sat and thought, and I even did that tonight.</p><p>My thoughts where then broken eventually by the familiar buzz that now brought small smiles as opposed to sarcasm.</p><p>MESSAGES:</p><p>NAMJOON: 4.55PM</p><p>'My trailer, 7.30pm tonight Jagi. J. x'</p><p>'Hehe I get a kiss this time..... ' I said noticing his sign off on the message, I just placed the phone down and didnt question his intention, as whatever it would be, it would be nice and dare I say maybe even a proper date, without the need for haze.</p><p>I just lounged about in the hours that followed, had a shower and got ready to go , pulling on a simple pair of denim shorts and a white tank top with a black bra underneath, my go to when I didnt have the strength to coordinate and I made my way to the scrapyard , the sun was still in sky, painting the evening sky but dusk was not far away.</p><p>'130613' another text to my phone read and I knew he meant the passcode.</p><p>after inputting it I stepped into the scrap yard, a business that hid in plain site , and you would never know that there was a trailer there , hidden by towers of broken metal and cars stacked creating a barrier to hide behind.</p><p>I noticed no lights where on, just a few lanterns outside lit and swaying in the gentle breeze and the side gate to the back of the trailer was ajar which just peaked my curiosity as I entered Namjoon's home that way , it was an extension of the inside, a mishmash of pots plants, and orchids at the back windows, a sliding glass door I had seen from the inside and festoon lights hung over the fences.</p><p>It did raise a small smile, It didnt match his persona , it was soft and earthly, the plants all looking well cared for , and I felt another connection, He cared for them , like I cared for Yoongi , they were a companion that didnt answer back and just stayed silent when you needed it to, albeit it Yoongi didnt.</p><p>' So you've found me out ' I had Joons voice quietly utter from the glass sliding door that had been silently opened and he stepped onto his decking bare foot , his presence not making a sound.</p><p>'Plants......you are a gardener' I laughed .</p><p>' Guilty as charged baby' He said folding his arms in front and smiling at me causing his dimples to swell.</p><p>' So what .....why the text' I said matching his pose and walking up to him.</p><p>' We never this properly did we' He said staying in the same pose.</p><p>'Never did what' I said coming ever closer .</p><p>'Date without the Haze ' He said back.</p><p>'This is true ...and well .....do you know how to treat a girl' I said mockingly.</p><p>'you are not just a girl Jagi' he said as he slid his hands down my sides , knowing how to make my spine engage with my senses.</p><p>'Asshole' I said as he gently kissed me , a kiss I had until now only imagined, it was tender and melted away any tension we had made out and fucked through before.</p><p>He moved away making his way back into the trailer , causing me to follow.</p><p>It was dark, darker than outside but bathed in soft light .....candles ....just like me , a collection of them on the side bar of the kitchen and the table which was now in the middle of the room.</p><p>'wow' I muttered almost too low to hear.</p><p>'I needed that' Namjoon said his back to me as he stood in the kitchen, the light of flames dancing on his Silhouette, dressed in a simple loose black t-shirt , slightly overlapping his jeans , his black jeans, those same ones that had taken me in the alleyway a few months ago.</p><p>'So you really are doing a date ' I said as I walked observing the candles and removing my shoes to feel the comfort of the rug under my feet.</p><p>'for my girl....yes I am' He said .</p><p>'And I thought Id would even try cooking' He said with his dimpled grin staying in place.</p><p>'Oh dear god ' I said tensing up slightly with a modest cringe in my face.</p><p>'You really are determined to burn down your own home!!' I joked to him, his eyes engaging with my sarcasm , which made his smile larger and his tongue click behind his teeth.</p><p>' Kitty ......I don't know what you mean' He said turning back around sarcastically to work on the dish in front of him.</p><p>The absence of his face made me walk up behind him, past any barriers we had before and I rested my forehead in between his shoulders and placed my hands on his thighs and for once his breath hitched instead of mine .</p><p>'You will make me burn stuff if you keep doing that' He said as he stepped aside and a rather interesting stir fry met my eyes , causing me to snort and laugh a bit .</p><p>'Oh god Joon.....is it supposed to be that colour' I laughed and pointed and saw his eyes agree silently with me .</p><p>'Here lets sort this out , so at least we can both eat, and well we can work out after later ' I said winking at him  implying we both knew how the night would end.</p><p>I worked on the meal , trying my best not grimace at the amount of fluids I had to pour out the dish , just to make it look edible. He had tried and that meant something but I didnt fancy my arse being destroyed that way tonight, but heck I'm always open to the other ways.</p><p>' There .....I think I fixed it ' I said as I flicked the last sesame seeds on the top and reached round to take the two bowls Namjoon had held whilst he watched over me and checked me out in equal measure.</p><p>We sat , chopsticks and spoons all ready and took out first mouthfuls at the same time.</p><p>'Wow' I said as I coughed and tried to swallow .</p><p>'Yeah ' He matched coughing.</p><p>'I'm gonna say that was you ' I said back to him.</p><p>' I didnt know spice powder did that ...and why is it sticky' He said wide eyed like a small child.</p><p>'And how did you make it smell like flowers......you didnt ....did you' I laughed back.</p><p>'No ....NO.....I tend to flowers I don't cook them' He said as he tried another mouthful getting used to the mixed tastes .</p><p>I did the same, and just kept going as it was food, and everything with us was interesting.</p><p>'Its not supposed to burn right ' He said rubbing his eyes .</p><p>'No ....why....oh fuck sake Joon , it was on your hand and then your eye' I said trying to stave off a laugh and fetching a cloth from the side of his kitchen.</p><p>'hmmm there you go ' I said as I handed him the cloth and sat back and watched him.</p><p>his eyes streaming , and Ill admit it was cute, kind of painful but cute to see this big man reduced to funny tears from spices.</p><p>'You know there was always a way I could calm my stomach after spicy stuff ' I posed he tried to regain his composure.</p><p>'yay what's that.....grr ah fuck' He said wiping his eyes more.</p><p>'Mint chocolate chip ice cream, we had it every where in the UK and it was always the go to when my brothers couldn't match my mother cooking'</p><p>'Well I don't think this is going to work out Jagi' He said semi sternly.</p><p>'Oh, shall I grab my coat now ' I said knowing he wasn't serious and he knew I didnt bring a coat anywhere.</p><p>'That shit , I would rather eat toothpaste ' he said as he got the last spice out his eyes.</p><p>'Well we will have to agree to disagree Joon, and besides this is entertaining to watch'  I said resting my elbows on the table and looking at Joon with my eyes growing in warmth.</p><p>He was bashful, a sex god bashful giant, who couldn't cook and hated mint chocolate chip, and a dork I was falling for , even if we both agreed not to use the forbidden word.</p><p>I just laid in his lap after we had eaten , both of us not knowing if the other would have the dinner repeat on them, and Joon just stroked my hair and watched as my eyes danced under my eyelids .</p><p>I had felt my arse go numb a little while ago and like I always did at home I got up to take the dishes to the sink.</p><p>Namjoon just watched me as I straightened myself up, I knew he was watching me, drinking in my visuals and I worked on that.</p><p>It took a while to clear the dishes and the water pressure here was unpredictable so it dowsed my shirt more times that in his the dishes.</p><p>I had just finished the dishes when I felt two hands sliding up my legs and caressing my thighs , cutting through the candlelight .</p><p>' You said something about afters Baby' He softly said as he pawed gently at my side , my arse in front of his face</p><p>'you did miss a bit' He said as he ran his tongue around the area where my shorts meet my thighs, making me slightly grasp the counter.</p><p>He could have been lying of course , I doubt I got food there, I always aimed to get everything I wanted in my  mouth in any task I had that involved it.</p><p>'Well you were a good boy, you cleared your plate' I said as I turned and ran my fingers lightly through his bleach blonde hair , his dark roots had creeped in even further than before .</p><p>He ran his hands across my front, trailing his hands over the denim and finding the sides of my shirt and raising it slowly so my abdomen and navel showed and in a delicateness I had not seen in him before , gently caressed my stomach with his kisses, even tempting his tongue around my belly button.</p><p>I just stood there , letting the energy wash over me , this was the first time without Haze and he was a high in himself.</p><p>He had somehow worked my zip down with his teeth and began to suckle gently at my panty line , teasing the lace with his tongue as his hands lapped at my sides making me shudder.</p><p>'Baby...'I moaned lightly, for the first time meaning it and feeling it properly, his  grip increasing.</p><p>He slowly slid my shorts down , half pulling my panties down even further, his mouth eager to find my entrance and begin drinking in mouthfuls , but he stood up and slid into my stance his shirt catching mine as his hands moved to my breasts and his mouth moving to my neck and his tongue tracing my jugular and his teeth gently grazing me making me shiver .</p><p>He moved his hands down to my underwear , sliding his hands down the creases where my legs met my groin and directed me with his fingers to permit him further, and I agreed without a fight , letting him slid so slowly into the start of what he craved, he moved his fingers so gently around me , but knew he was being the fire inside me that he could feel in my breath.</p><p>He took my breath and kissed me deep, for the first time without his addictive aggression, I could feel his emotion, I could feel he wanted me on these new levels we had .</p><p>He stirred his hand , while his other hand wrapped around me cupping my ass , and his fingers teasing my back entrance too.</p><p>'Better than mint chocolate isn't it ' He purred into my mouth causing me to moan and laugh , my eyes rolling back into my head for the first time tonight.</p><p>'well normally.....lly...I would....ha...have eaten the whole cone' I managed to mouth , which made his hands escape and just stand close to me breathing in time with me, his lips so close it was the closest they could get without touching mine.</p><p>He smiled and swept his hands under my shirt taking it gently over my head , and his eyes gave me permission to do the same , and our shirts fell to the floor silently.</p><p>His hands returned and his fingers swam through my hair and caressed my neck and I danced myself around them , his face ever watching me enjoy it all.</p><p>His eyes where dark but they had warmth , they pulled me in and made my feel the warmth in my stomach, they made the pulse move into different parts of my body , and I was thankful I had found him, this moment would not have happened and I wouldn't be dancing in this candlelight  with this man.</p><p>I laced kissed across his chest, gently pecking any scars he had, knowing the pain he had in the past , they would have been from that, and if I could heal a small part in this moment I would.</p><p>I danced my tongue around his nipples , my hands now grazing his thighs and his belt line.</p><p>He rose into my mouth, his chest raising and lowering as I suckled with equal parts passion and gentleness.</p><p>His hands tensed in my hair , and his hips shuddered from time to time , as I opened his belt buckle and teased his zip open.</p><p>Tonight wasn't about fucking, we weren't guided by artificial feelings, we both probably for the first time where driving this ourselves.</p><p>'Baby.....Jagi.....'He said , breaking the contact with my gaze on his chest.</p><p>'Baby.......I want you .....all of you.......Let me ' He said , taking small gasps as I ran my fingers delicately up his abs being sure to feel every outline.</p><p>'I'm all yours Joon......for the first time....this is all us ' I said smiling as he graced my sides with his hands and gently removed my bra.</p><p>'I'm always yours baby, we found each other now ' He said as he graced my mouth with a kiss , a kiss that could have made tears come out of both of us .</p><p>I was one with his skin at this point, our breasts together with one another, until he lifted me up and resting me on his hips , and he slowly walked back to his bedroom.</p><p>He made short work of the door, and kicked it closed , and his strength sustained me in one hand as he removed his trousers with the other.</p><p>I was admittedly climbing him like a tree again, but he was the foundation below me and I knew he held our strength together.</p><p>'My Jagi, My sweet, My ....' He said and stopping himself speaking.</p><p>I just kissed him further , as I knew he wanted to say something we had agreed to not say.</p><p>He connected with my thought and lowered us both onto the bed below , his warmth and body swamping me, but he didnt force his weight on me.</p><p>we weren't ravaging each other like before, we where worshipping each other , counting the lines on each others skin, feeling the pulse we could bring each other.</p><p>We had taken our time and we where both naked and we ached for the other .</p><p>Joon carefully without breaking my gaze or taking his lips too far away from me , reached for the condoms in his stash , and he rose up to prepare himself , knowing we still needed just the one barrier in all this.</p><p>I laid back, thinking of this body being bathed in the new moonlight that caught his body.</p><p>I wanted everything he was going to offer.</p><p>He fixed himself and slid down further and guided his hands to open my thighs, his breath preparing and meeting the fluid amassing , and he lapped it up with his delicate taste and explored my area with his movements , and he moaned in time with me, my back arching as I felt the shudder inside me , that meant I would bathe this man , and he awaited me obediently.</p><p>I came like I hadn't before with him, he just took it and slid his hands around my thighs, coating me and appreciating my form with his fluid covered fingers.</p><p>'Please Joon' I begged quietly and like a soft cloud he rose up between my thighs and silently and slowly guided his member into me and both of us clenching and matching the start of what would become our orgasms.</p><p>He held me and kissed me , letting me taste what I had done to him.</p><p>He thrusted with precision, and went deeper each time and stretched me out and made me moan his name whilst he tried to groan syllables at me, he made his rhythm match mine as my walls clenched around him, my orgasm building and the tip of his member twitching against my cervix .</p><p>I couldn't hold the sounds , I moaned and I palmed his back and tried not to dig my nails into his flesh, He was piercing my soul and this beat any high we had had.</p><p>I could feel the blood inside him engorge him further .</p><p>'Kat.....Kat....Baby....I'm with you' He said as he was losing the strength in him .</p><p>'I knn....know.....Joon-ah.......I ...I ...fuck ' I said as I grasped fully onto him and I came over his member flooding out of me, and his orgasm bulging in me, his breath and sweat moulding into and he kissed me , with every ounce of strength he had left.</p><p>We didnt want to move, that would mean breaking this closeness but he was heavier than me, so he reluctantly slid out of me , being careful to hold the condom and discarded it with care to the small bin at the side of his bed.</p><p>We just laid , naked and laced around each other, my head resting on his chest , my hair married up with this sweat, and let the moonlight dance above our heads.</p><p>After a while one of us spoke.</p><p>'That was different' I joked </p><p>'It was , and I have a new regret Jagi' he said softly.</p><p>I looked up at him slightly confused.</p><p>'That I didnt do this to you sooner' He said his hands embracing my face and showing me it was ok to lay back down.</p><p>'I know what you mean Baby' I said sleepily.</p><p>'I'm with you.....I'm with you' I said </p><p>'By your side' Namjoon matched as the need for sleep took over us both.</p><p>We didnt know at that point how important those words would become and how we would find our new way.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. 25 - Sweet Daylight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The morning after the night before , and short and sweet but nice chapter.<br/>Kat reads Namjoon's words for the first time time , and they both find the words that fit .</p><p>This is the first time you see the context of how I made this story inspired by the Lyrics of Youhna Ft RM -Winter Flower.<br/>my interpretation of some beautiful words that could be a promise of love.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up and smiled , instantly remembering how I got into this bed and knowing it had welcomed me as much as I had wanted him.</p><p>The sunlight was now dancing through the window above my head and I could hear all the morning nature sounds mixed with the town waking up.....at least I hope it was still morning.</p><p>Namjoon was not next to me , but I knew from the last time that it was ok, I wrapped the sheet I was under , around my body, taking time to breathe our scents in and enjoy, whilst I stretched and cracked my neck, still feeling some of his kisses on me .</p><p>'I could get used to this' I said to the quiet room, then hearing a small hum from the living room.</p><p>Finding my feet I fastened the sheet around me, not caring to put on my clothes again and made my way to Namjoon's living room.</p><p>And well a girl can really get used to this indeed, His form met my eyes, bathed in daylight too, with the faint aroma of candles from the night before still in the air.</p><p>He was writing at his desk in the corner, his brow furrowing as he thought more and more, his pencil just working away .</p><p>I could have admired his form all day , as I leaned against a nearby doorway.</p><p>He was in just a pair of black joggers, his bare feet bouncing as he wrote, his breath moving in and out and making the dust particles dance in the sun.</p><p>I could see his tattoos in full splendour, his Bulletproof tattoo was one I always found first , I knew now that it was there for a reason, he had survived death , the last act from his father, and no doubt his life after that point he lived in his bulletproof way. I mean maybe once you've tasted death you don't truly fear it much and you live ...I don't know.</p><p>He too stretched and cracked his neck, eyes closed silently enjoying it , openly them slowly to see me watching him and grinning in the sheet I had fashioned into clothing.</p><p>'Well ......Jagi.......you even make that look good ' he said , setting himself back in his chair, which caused his chest to flex and bounce slightly.</p><p>'Well it was just laying around' I said trying to strike an ironic model pose.</p><p>'Morning my girl' He said sitting back up and resting his elbows on his desk, his arms falling carefully on a mass of paper in front of him.</p><p>'Morning ' I said as I walked towards him.</p><p>'You hungry' He said as I came to stand at the side of him and placed a kiss on his pink lips.</p><p>'Maybe ' I said wanting another kiss, but instead one of his hands just softly held my face and he kissed my nose, and he walked around me to his kitchen.</p><p>I sat in his desk chair, which dwarfed my frame compared to his, as he went to his refrigerator and I assumed his pose on the desk and my eyes dancing over the scribbles in front of me , and todays paper to my left.</p><p>I picked it up as an all too familiar headline was appearing everyday.</p><p>'GANG VIOLENCE ESCALATING, POLICE AND VALIANT AGENCY IN TALKS' It read.</p><p>I read the details and just huffed 'its getting worse ' I said.</p><p>Namjoon came back towards me with two iced coffees and a croissant , offering them to me with a welcome smile.</p><p>'I went out whilst you were asleep .....' He said as he handed over the goods.</p><p>'You are a good man' I said as I half scoffed the croissant and held the paper in the other hand.</p><p>'Its getting worse everywhere Jagi' He said , drinking his coffee with a barely traceable hint of concern in his face.</p><p>'Yeah I know, whole world goes crazy regularly' I said now taking a sip of my iced coffee, and my face embracing the caffeine hitting my soul. This man knew the perfect non sex related wake up call.</p><p>'Who is Valiant though' I said as I tried to search the page for more info, its a name I had seen once or twice but I was just a word to me.</p><p>'I think its some type of government private thing, maybe cleaning up the messes the police cant take care of in this part of the world' He said quickly.</p><p>'Hmmm maybe ' I said casting the paper to the side and resting back slightly to sit and admire Namjoon who was perched on his coffee table , just looking at me .</p><p>The coffee slid in well for both of us and the sounds of my stomach quelled.</p><p>I began to fondle the paper in front of me , most of it written in Hangul and I couldn't understand more than a few words.</p><p>'You write so much Joon...' I said as I held each piece up gently and the sunlight catching it.</p><p>'If I write it then its out , One of Jimin's little tactics' He said with a small smile as he remembered one of his brothers lessons to him, he came and stood behind me, resting his slightly cold hands on my naked shoulders.</p><p>'Will you teach me what these say' I said gently brushing his hands with the side of head.</p><p>'There is one ....One I worked on ......for what we can say' He said partially pausing each time.</p><p>'I know what you mean baby, and I agree with our arrangement ' I said catching the side of one his hands with my lips.</p><p>He found a buried note and brought it into front of my eyes as he slid down to his knees so he was hugging me from behind laced between me and the chair.</p><p>my eyes read and my soul understood.</p><p>'I always thought I could be a songwriter' Namjoon said softly as he kissed my shoulders .</p><p>'Jimin said words could dance even if I couldn't' He said , as he made his breath dance on my neck, and he lightly laughed remembering his brother's words again.</p><p>I just read and could feel him almost mouth the same words behind me.</p><p>'I will take it away before you stumble, I will stay by your side until you survive' we both read in unison, the words were in english.</p><p>'Wow' I mouthed , 'Perfect in a sort of broken way' I smiled looking back at him.</p><p>'Yeah , we are both broken, we where both lost in our own winters I guess and well , I felt your hurt and you felt mine , and well this sort of just came out of me, maybe there is a song in there somewhere' He said resting his chin on my arm.</p><p>'I'm with you, I'm with you, I will be by your side' I read as I saw the other side .</p><p>'Is that a promise ' I said holding it to him asking for an answer.</p><p>He sealed our silent promise, his words finding a place in our minds.</p><p>Our newest escape clause, words we could say, that said we would never be without each, a safe way to avoid the word that had lost meaning in the past.</p><p>Namjoon baby, whatever is coming next, I am with you , by your side.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. 26 - Red Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat does a hard shift at Club Dark Hope and meets JK again and has to deal with Tae.</p><p>She doesn't know the connection to Namjoon as he never told her their names in the previous chapter, something he chose to do , as he didnt want to let too much go and he omitted the names as a type of security blanket when he told his story, but she hates them all the same and she sees that she knew JK before.</p><p>We see some of Kats vulnerability and her remembering dark parts of her own past that no one but her knows and she ends up in the one safe place she has<br/>to be safe just for now.</p><p>===Trigger warning====<br/>=implied possible sexual assault<br/>=implied domestic violence<br/>=mentions of prostitution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hobi 6.50pm</p><p>'Kat , Hi, Could you come in earlier tonight'</p><p>A text from Hobi had flashed up on my phone , he wasn't one with the big words on texts, which was good , I wasn't one with the big words either.</p><p>I only really had a phone because nowadays it was a necessity , and well it was also easy to have minimal connection and traceability when you paid as you went on a phone. Less contracts I had , the less it meant my past could find me.</p><p>Kat 6.55pm</p><p>'No problem, Ill come by 11pm tonight, no shift at BANGS tonight , is that ok. K' </p><p>I just set my phone down on the side and unless I heard otherwise I would head to the club at the texted time.</p><p>I knew Namjoon would not be around today, he had text me saying he was going out of town on errands for a  few days and of course not to worry, which I did a little, since he was deeper in my life now, he had said he would be back earlier tomorrow morning , so I would naturally contact him when I woke up.</p><p>But like me , he floats, he floats around and does what he needs to do to make it from day to day, and I had learned to trust him, we had built that since the day that changed everything for us.</p><p>Yoongi was nowhere to be seen tonight , but as dutiful a housemate I was, I made sure to leave him some food , and I would always laugh to myself every time I did , as he wasn't mine, he could have several homes he does this to, but the furry fucker had his place in my heart and it was literally pennies to keep this cat, and as long as I left him a cushion to sleep on , and some random bits and bobs to roll around he was content.</p><p>I had been out to EATJIN earlier, which had become a bit of my routine now , he seemed nice, and always had a smile for me, even if sometimes his face was tinged with worry, or his eyes bloodshot from either lack of sleep, or he had been crying , or perhaps both?.</p><p>I didnt question it, I just met his gaze and pacified his expressions with a caring expression, and I'm sure if he wanted to talk he would. I don't know, maybe he is just worried about all the violence escalating , he seems to work so hard. He was an acquaintance of Namjoon's and that was enough of a reassurance that Jin was a good soul.</p><p>I just passed the rest of the evening best I could and made my way to club Dark Hope.</p><p>========================================================================</p><p>The club was bustling and I could see every member of staff was struggling to keep up.</p><p>The balance of staff and rude customers was way off balance tonight and it seemed to be like they were all from the same group, all acting similar, but heck maybe I was just reading too much into things .</p><p>'Move......Move .....MOVE 'I would yell over the music as I pushed myself past the patrons, not giving two fucks for an ounce of etiquette towards these alcohol swilling idiots who just looked down their nose at people like me.</p><p>I reached a very flustered Hobi , who I could help but noticed seem to have a concerned expression on his face and he kept scanning the room with his eyes , until his expression broke and his gaze caught me.</p><p>'KAT!......thank goodness' He said as he held his arms out to take my bag from me .</p><p>'What is with everyone today, did a dickhead parade march into town or something ' I said to him as I readjusted my clothes and tossed my hair into a bun and tied my waitress belt around my waist.</p><p>'Something like that' Hobi said and pointed over my shoulder at the back rooms, 'Rented out in full tonight' He said rolling his eyes .</p><p>'Ahhhh joy' I matched with sarcastic tone.</p><p>'Kat.....Um....Just please be careful tonight ' He said as he gently placed a caring hand on my forearm.</p><p>'Boss don't worry.....one thing I do well.....kicking idiots in the dick if they go too far '</p><p>'You hateu the snake' He posed back jokingly.</p><p>'Something like that' I said actually laughing a little as his face matched his displeasure .</p><p>Hobi left to go to his small office, a place off bounds to staff and was separate to the clock room we would use , and I put on my best resting bitch face and yelled 'NEXT' abruptly into the drunken mob in the club.</p><p>I was quick with my hands in every element of my life, I could do this type of job with no second thought, it was carefully rehearsed muscle memory honed over many years and my skills where transferable .</p><p>Plus this was extra money and I tended to stay on the legal side of things now , and well extra cash would always help if I ever moved on, which was still in up in the air now that Namjoon was my anchor and made me want to stay and swim with him, in our little world hidden in plain sight.</p><p>Any time the patrons would get a little too fresh, I would picture Namjoon holding them down and me kicking the shit out of them. Yes I didnt need anyone fighting my battles for me , I had done it alone for years and I doubt Namjoon would doubt my abilities and would probably just stand there proud with his dimpled smile as encouragement to put assholes in their place.</p><p>No one owned me, and I had learned to fight harder than my 5ft 4 frame had supposedly restricted me to. </p><p> </p><p>The light under the counter blinked on and off , meaning the back room wanting service , and I was the closest so it was my turn to venture in there.</p><p>I gestured to my fellow barmaid , Jessi, that I was going in there , and she mouthed at me 'Be careful' which only resulted it a slightly bemused ok in response.</p><p>And I made my way over, keying in the code to show a green light on the inside.</p><p>:: SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION:: UNDERTAKE RENHOLDER REMIX - PUSCIFER:::::</p><p>The room was dark and the veiled lights always gave a creepy ambience to these little dens .</p><p>'Kat....your server ...what can I get you boys' I said taking the pad out my belt and trying to look as uninterested as I could with the 6-7 guys in the room and each with a girl each , and an empty chair at the end of the room by its back door which was used as a private entrance and exit , which was now slightly ajar.</p><p>They ignored me and just barely moved away from each other.</p><p>'Service....you buzzed me' I said to the room, stirring a response from shadowed individual at the side of the room.</p><p>'Well ......well' He said as he slivered towards me , looking me up and down.</p><p>'You must be Kat' He said biting his lip and invading my space a little further and sliding his hands around his thighs as if he was getting ready to use them.</p><p>'Yes Kat....now drinks' I snapped back , just fondling my pen and trying to be as an uninterested as I could be at whatever this idiot was thinking of attempting.</p><p>'Whiskey.......whole bottle....whatever is expensive ....and an extra glass for you' He said in his previous tone.</p><p>'Fine' I said as I left room and collected the order , minus the one glass for me, I'm not accepting any approach like that, Grrr this guy already is making me pissed off and not in a good way.</p><p>I went back into the room and set down the order on the marble table in the middle , stirring a slight response from those sitting around it , and I tore off the tab number and left it on the tray and went to leave when an arm shot across the door and stopped me .</p><p>'Not drinking with us ...bad sport' He said trying to lace his breathe down me thinking it would work.</p><p>'No working ' I said trying to get around his arm.</p><p>'Well I want you to stay and drink with us' he said , his breath making his movements vibrate .</p><p>'No thanks busy' I said in a frustrated tone.</p><p>'Kitty .....please' He said , his devious eyes checking me out and his arm turning me out into the room.</p><p>'Kat...and I said no thankyou' I said shaking his arm off and half shooting him a look telling him if he did that again he would lose a testicle in rapid speed.</p><p>'Wow feisty ' he laughed in a semi manicial fashion as his buddy closed round me blocking my way out .</p><p>'Not at all......just don't have time for bullshit...can I go ' I said trying to get out the room without having to touch any of these wanna be losers.</p><p>The main asshole who had not permitted me to leave in the first place just stood in front of me, his hands on his hips and his tongue licking around his lips.</p><p>'Baby....you could do better than this place' he said trying to touch my face which resulted in my stepping back away.</p><p>'Kat....I'm not going to hurt you.......The name is Tae' He oozed.</p><p>'Well ...Tae....I've got work to do' I said back.</p><p>'Sit and talk with me ' He said as he gestured all but one of the guys to sit back down and resume the activities with their girls.</p><p>'No'I said turning and noticing there was still one at the door.</p><p>'This shit hole.....a girl like you, you need to set your sights higher' He said as he used his fingers to trace my outline in front of him and then move as if his groin was irritating him.</p><p>I just sneered at him , half spitting through my teeth.</p><p>'You wont get a choice in this soon' He said as he lent forward and rested his elbows on his knees, the leather of his trousers making a slight sound as both met .</p><p>'Whatever asshole' I said as I snapped around and tried to make my way around the idiot still in front of the door.</p><p>an arm shot around me almost catching my cheek, and I could feel his odorous warmth behind me and his aura just making me feel sick to my stomach.</p><p>'Let me  go or you'll be thrown out' I said with him at the back of me, my eyes burning holes at the door.</p><p>'I said No' Tae said as he moved so close .</p><p>' fuck off ' I said as I tried to move forward'</p><p>'I haven't touched you.....yet' He said and began to laugh, and then grabbed my wrist and forced me to turn around, but I think he anticipated what would happen next, and his knees cased mine in and I couldn't move , I was pinned against the curtained walls behind me , his face trying to drip into mine.</p><p>'Now come on Kitty , you're in my rabbit hole now .......open up' He said running his index finger over my cheeks, making me feel sick to my stomach and I just tensed up all I could , and mustered as much saliva in my mouth as I could and spat at him , square in his face , making him move slightly.</p><p>'Ohhhh yummy ' He said as his insane face contorted and just drank my spit trailing down his face as he laughed and he grabbed my face , to try and force a kiss onto me , causing me to close my eyes tight and tense my jaw.</p><p>'TAEHYUNG!!!!!' A voice roared over the crowd , causing Tae to snap out of his perversion and his grip to go from me.</p><p>'Don't fuck about without me present' The voice said growing softer and a face appearing from the doorway at the back.</p><p>I recognised him instantly, those eyes and features where hard to miss , and I was surprised as his aura was different this time , making me think before may have all been an act.</p><p>'You ...'I  said acknowledging that it was JK standing in front of the crowd, and Tae now hanging on his every word.</p><p>'Yes ....I see we have met before' JK said as he sat down</p><p>'Not such an innocent bunny if you associate with these assholes JK' I said as I just looked like I wanted to end everyone in the room.</p><p>'Jungkook ...if you will....' He said gesturing for me to sit down, and elongating his form to fit the chair and show dominance over the rest of the crowd around him</p><p>'Id rather stand ........Jungkook.....actually I would like to leave and get on with my job' I said trying not to choke on the bile in my throat .</p><p>'Kat......please.....I wont ask again' He said curling his mouth making his teeth present .</p><p>I didnt care that I was outnumbered , I didnt care for their intentions, I was nobodies property, not even Namjoon's.</p><p>'You refusing a drink with me , you are doing better' He said with confusion that I kept rebuffing him.</p><p>'Yeah.....not desperate enough JK ......and well I'm spoken for ' I said sarcastically, to be met with Jungkook standing up and walking towards me making me stand against the now unguarded door.</p><p>'I highly doubt that Kitty.......Can he make you moan.....' He said to me stopping himself coming further, and my spine move in disgust .</p><p>'BOYS OUT NOW .....WE ARE LEAVING ' He snarled as they began to flow out of the back door and into the night, followed last by Taehyung , still trying to stare me down and licking his lips as he left.</p><p>Jungkook just tossed a pile of notes on the wet tray with now amassed empty whiskey glasses.</p><p>'There....Keep the change......Kat' He said , leaving the room and smirking as he swung the back door shut, leaving the room empty.</p><p>I just knelt down, the air acrid and still filled with arrogance, I had to vent my anger and stop acid tinged tears working their way down my face . I just grabbed a whiskey glass hurling it at the back door and screaming as I did so.</p><p>The carpet below my knees was wet , and I didnt want to get up in that moment , but I knew I had to leave this room and vent my anger about these assholes into the crowd in the main club.</p><p>Who on earth did these arrogant pricks think they where!, That wasn't the same man I met at the beach that night surely, but yet again I guess it just proved my theory that almost everyone I met just wanted to use me , and only Namjoon was the exception to this.</p><p>I straightened up and picking the money up shoving it in my belt and grabbed the tray and walked back to the bar, making the tears that threatened , peak ever so slightly.</p><p>Jessi noticed and took the tray from me.</p><p>'You ok girl' she asked , giving me a look.</p><p>'I will be ....anyways lets serve the rest of these fuckers and call it a night shall we' I said in a effort to move the awkwardness on.</p><p> </p><p>======SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION -  MY HEART IS BROKEN - EVANESCENCE=============</p><p>And the rest of the night did move on, but my anger never left me , even when I left at the end of the shift and ignored Hobi's attempts to stop and talk to me as he cashed up at the end of the night, I just took my tips and wages from the stack of envelopes he left by the entrance once the club was empty. It was all cash in hand here and a grab and go was always easy.</p><p>I stepped out into a downpour , it was hammering it down and the streetlights just danced in the reflections of the puddles as each blast hit the ground.</p><p>I didnt care that I was not dressed properly for this weather, I just made my feet move as fast as they can until the club was out of eyesight and I let my back fall against a building wall and the rain wash over my face maybe taking from frustrated tears with it .</p><p>That was awful tonight and just made memories swim in my head from my past, from partners that went too far and took what wasn't theirs, to my father who liked to colour my face with his palm whenever I didnt meet his approval , to a brief period where I did what I could for money and sold parts of myself , but that was a secret I kept , as I never intended for sex to be a way to survive but I had been 22 and desperate and I had sworn to myself that I would never again let that happen again, I would always be worth more than what someone would pay to have their way with me.</p><p>I could never tell anyone, it was the past , and I never let anyone close enough to tell them and trust that they would not judge.</p><p>My Stomach felt sick, I wanted to be sick, the rain wasn't washing away tonight stains and I wanted to feel safe and warm, something I always silently wanted.</p><p>I was more water than human at this point and this wasn't going to go away.</p><p>I managed to look at my watch, it was 4.43am meaning I knew one place I could try , I just needed to feel something.</p><p>I walked , and walked trying to bash my old memories out into the pavement with my steps but it was no good.</p><p>'130613' I said over and over again to make the time go quicker, my teeth chattering as I said each digit as the cold worked its way into my skin and I kept going  until I was at the gate of the yard and keyed it  in, fingers slipping over the keypad, numb and trembling, and I rushed inside.</p><p>Stepping through the muddy puddles I stumbled towards my bolt hole, his trailer, and the lights inside moving when he moved past them, he had come back this morning just as he said he would.</p><p>I hammered his door , and it swung open, its warm air hitting me.</p><p>'Kat ...Jagi....what the hell!!' Namjoon said stepping out onto his wet porch and grabbing me and pulling me inside, his hands sliding up and down my wet arms trying to warm me to no avail.</p><p>I was half out of breathe, half hyperventilating and I just held the sides of his shirt by his chest and rested my wet hair against his chest and tried to catch my breathe, and let a few tears fall without him seeing.</p><p>'Baby....you are soaking...baby come on... ' He said trying to tease my head up with his trusting hand.</p><p>'Kiss me Joon....please just kiss me' I begged and said as I let a few tears go ,and he didnt hesitate to meet my request as I melted into his arms, and didnt stop to question my tears, he just embraced me , taking my pain away and emanating his warmth into me.</p><p>He was my safe place, He wanted me , and I was crumbling and he would see that and just like our new words said, he was by my side and would be with me to help me survive.</p><p>We were safe , in his arms I was safe, and as he took me that night , I knew I was safer still , in his arms.</p><p>For now at least.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. 27 - Poetry In Motion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Namjoon teaches Kat his language with an unexpected turn when his mind wanders.</p><p>I tried my best to make sure I used the correct words and their translations, but please if any of them are incorrect let me know, I am more than happy to change anything that is incorrect or not factually correct.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I did finally sleep, when we had become still , after hours upon hours of easing each others worries and saying our emotions anyway our bodies would permit.</p><p>I felt safe when I was with him, the sound of his heartbeat was a sound I was getting used to falling asleep to , his fingers always lacing through my hair softly in the room as I fell asleep.</p><p>I had woken up with him this morning, his warm brown eyes smiling with puffiness at me , he was like his own little sunrise although it was early afternoon.</p><p>His warmth met mine as we laid close and enveloped under his sheets.</p><p>'Good morning...or afternoon Jagi ' He cooed as I rubbed my eyes to banish the last parts of sleep, and he placed a soft kiss on my lips as he slid down to be face to face with me.</p><p>'You are beautiful when you sleep Kat' He said brushing away some strands of hair that where teasing my eyes .</p><p>'Just when I sleep ' I said in a croaky morning voice and smiling , half tempted to close my eyes again.</p><p>'Just you breathing is beauty baby' He said putting his arm under the sheet and softly across my naked body and pulling me closer to him.</p><p>'You are fresh with the poetry this morning' I said snuggling into his warmth and breathing into his chest and losing my barriers with his scent.</p><p>'Well I aim to please always ' He said rubbing his nose softly over my forehead and lightly peaking my nose and lips in succession.</p><p>'Well you did that a lot last night ....in fact I think we might be laying in it ' I half laughed and acting like I was cringing to make him laugh and I eyed several used condoms behind him.</p><p>'Oh yeah.....we did ....a lot ........I just needed you' He said not falling for my half joke.</p><p>'I needed you too last night, it wasn't a good day ' I said rubbing my eyes again.</p><p>'want to talk about it Jagi' He said resting his head by mine and allowing his dark eyes to reassure me.</p><p>'It isn't worth thinking about , it passed, and it doesn't matter now ' I said half shivering as my senses woke up as I woke up more.</p><p>'OK....but you can always tell me anything Jagi....know that' He said placing a kiss on me half way through his sentence.</p><p>I met his agreement with a kiss , and kiss that lingered and threatened to make us use the condom stash he had once again, We had learned about our way to have sex, it wasn't animal instinct or addiction anymore , but more worshipping and adoration, and well sometimes it was fast and furious as we both lit ourselves on fire sometimes in waves of orgasm that threatened to tear down the very walls around us .</p><p>we eased ourselves down , knowing we need to do something today before the daytime became night, and of course eating something other than each other would be a good solid plan too at some point.</p><p>I noticed he kept a black notepad by his bedside and it seemed well worn , and I know he uses words as his art and it gave me an idea.</p><p>'Teach me your words' I said as I tried to sit upright , and his gaze followed me.</p><p>'What baby' He said slightly confused.</p><p>'Show me your words , The hangul , teach me your favourites' I said as I adjusted my pose under the sheet.</p><p>'And you'll teach me' He said meeting my question with a question.</p><p>'Italian....yes I can do that....but you first' I said as I teased him with a kiss and tried to get up and over him to go to the door.</p><p>He stopped me when I was half over him, his hands grasping my naked hips and made me sit upright on his just below his groin, naked from head to toe.</p><p>'Joon......what are you doing' I said half joking and wrapping my hands around his to steady my balance.</p><p>His eyes danced over my form , sitting on top of him, his eyes scanning my bare breasts and my face that was smiling down on him and was half tempted to move further up on him.</p><p>'Finding a canvas' He said as he then trailed his fingers up my stomach and and gently embracing the tattoos on the sides of my ribs.</p><p>'And....' I said as he tried to read the Italian words and wrote over them with the tip of his finger ,making my sense tingle.</p><p>'That's Forza ....it means strength ' I said trying not to show that he was arousing me more than I wanted to be .</p><p>'Anyways what did you find ' I said as I stared down at him placing a palm on his chest and gently cracked my neck , and shake my hair off of it.</p><p>'This ......this will work 'he said as he placed his hands on my waist and used his thumbs to trace lines along my stomach.</p><p>'You want to write ....there..... ' I said half surprised , as he teased my curves with his hands.</p><p>'Yes.....Yes ' He said his eyes wanting me to agree.</p><p>'Have a pen......?' he joked , surely he wasn't serious and about to colour me in a sharpie.</p><p>'Thought I was sitting near one ' I said as I jokingly looked down at his penis , hoping he would get the joke.</p><p>'Oh haha...that's for decorating your insides baby' He said joking back and causing me to roll my eyes as he looked proud of himself with his dimples matching his sarcastic smile.</p><p>'I have an idea....hand my my bag ' I said and he handed the bag that was by the side of his bed.</p><p>I set it down with effort on his breasts causing him to laugh and half jump at my abruptness.</p><p>I rooted through my bag and found the makeup pouch I had, and a selection of lipsticks, and I rooted one out and handed it to him , and he eventually worked out how to get the lid off.</p><p>'Ummm Jagi....I'm gonna need a different colour baby' He said showing and pointing the ruby red lipstick at me with slight worry in his eyes .</p><p>'Its red baby' I said matching his glance not overly sure of the issue.</p><p>'Its a thing.....In Korea ...its a bad omen....writing anything in a red ink , or the such.....its a bad thing' he said trying not to hurt my feelings.</p><p>'Oh oops' I said taking the lipstick back and not being offended in the slightest. it was his culture and I respected any superstitions whether I believed in them or not.</p><p>'Bad omen....' I asked to show I was listening.</p><p>'Yes it is, and if I was to write a name or a word that relates to a name, it could mean I wished that person dead' He said half biting his lip at the end of the answer.</p><p>'Joonie...its ok ....I have like a hundred of these things' I said as I routed through the makeup bag and found a good alternative.</p><p>'Here this could work ' I said handing him a black eyeliner pen and his eyes lightening a bit when it met his approval.</p><p>I adjusted how I was sitting to ensure that I wasn't making his legs go dead and I stretched my body so he had room to write and also gave me an opportunity to make my breasts dance a little just to tease him.</p><p>He adjusted himself too, steadying my waist with this left hand and he delicately began to write with his right hand, his eyes ever so often meeting mine.</p><p>It tickled a bit but this was sensual and touching all at the same time, sharing words in his first language with me.</p><p>'Well.....this would be you' He said , after several flicks.</p><p>'Your name baby, I cant translate it properly as Katalina is ...well your language so I went for the closest I could.</p><p>'You wrote Cat didnt you' I said giggling slightly as I stared down and saw '고양이' on my stomach.</p><p>'Its Goyangi' He said. </p><p>'Go...yan.gi..' I said back, and half smiled as it sounded a little like Go yoongi in my head, somehow that little furry turd was even in this moment.</p><p>'So when you say kitty, this is it in Korean' I said with my fingers tracing the hangul on my skin.</p><p>He just shook his head and smiled .</p><p>'Umm well how do we get this off' I said realising there is only so much room on my stomach.</p><p>'Oh I have an idea , as he reached down by where my bag had sat' </p><p>'Here' he said darting something black towards my stomach and only me realising as it touched my skin.</p><p>'Joon....that's my panties ...you bellend ' I half screamed and laughed.</p><p>'Bellend???....what the hell does that mean' He laughed back still wiping my stomach with little effect on getting rid of the eyeliner, only making me laugh more.</p><p>'English slang...another word to describe an asshole' I said making emphasis on that last word.</p><p>'Oh...right....well I'm using that in future....haha bellend' He said laughing to himself.</p><p>I just shook my head, I didnt know I could impart that wisdom in this circumstance .</p><p>He seemed to look puzzled as he couldn't get it off , so in a swift move he sat up almost making me lose my balance, and he planted his lips on my stomach , part licking his tongue over the ink and then laying back down and using my panties to remove the rest.</p><p>'There we go......now next' He said smirking and his eyes moulding into that dragon gaze that made me go weak.</p><p>'Well show me your name now' I said as I placed my fingers on his writing hand.</p><p>He scribbled again , taking his time ....and writing '남준' on me.</p><p>'That's me .....pronounced Nam Jun' He said being sure to make the distinction between how the east and west pronounced words .</p><p>I traced the hangul with my fingers, looking proud that he was both on me and under me.</p><p>He cleaned the slate of my skin again lacing a kiss on my stomach and licking his way between my breast and up to my neck before he sat back down.</p><p>He wrote again , a longer word I could feel.</p><p>It was '  예뻐요'</p><p>'This is you too ....Ye-Ppeo-Yo' He said in his Korean accent.</p><p>'what does it mean' I said as I admired it .</p><p>'Pretty...it means pretty ...and it appropriate right now' He said as he smiled and I matched his smile back.</p><p>'Well give me one more....close your eyes and right one that's in your heart' I said and closed my eyes.</p><p>I felt him breathe deep under me and he too had closed his eyes.</p><p>I felt the strokes deeper as he wrote after cleaning my stomach once more.</p><p>I opened my eyes to see his tinged with a little sadness , but he still smiled at me.</p><p>I couldn't make it out , but I just let the air sit in the room for a moment.</p><p>'Joon ...baby....what's this one'  and slid my hands along his forearm to break his worry.</p><p>'Its another name, one from my past......Ae-ra' He said with a slight tinge in his voice.</p><p>'She was my halmoni.....my grandmother .....my mothers mum' He said not realising what he had written.</p><p>'Its ok baby' I said trying to reassure him .</p><p>'Korean names have meaning behind them always, they are things you want to instil and well...this one....I cant' he said his eyes slightly sad.</p><p>I connected with what he meant, it was our forbidden word , it related to that , the word we agreed not to use but now Namjoon seemed a little disappointed in himself that something related to that was now on my skin from him.</p><p>'Forbidden word related ' I said to reassure him that I was ok with this moment</p><p>'Yeah...yes' He said as he put down the eyeliner and held my legs and his eyes were thankful and said the words our mouths couldn't.</p><p>' Its ok Joon......I know your past ....I know there is pain...but your words...they are going to help heal you....Just like Jimin said ...right ?' I said as I took one of his hands and placed it over the word Ae-ra and he slightly twitched his fingers under my palm letting me know it was ok.</p><p>I laid down on top of him and ran my hands up his body to meet his face with a kiss and I let my hips travel so our groins met, I just wanted him to know I accepted him as he is vulnerable or not.</p><p>He wrapped his arms round me and rolled me onto my side , his legs wrapping around mine and his kisses swimming in my mouth with every breath he took.</p><p>We came up for air eventually.</p><p>'Ill show you more words baby...I promise' He said</p><p>'Shit I need to get more eyeliner then' I said to break a joke.</p><p>'Ill write them in your soul baby' He said as he laid his head on my breasts as I rolled onto my back, his hair dripping back and tickling my neck and as I stroked his neck with my finger tips.</p><p>'We need to eat' He said as his breath danced over one of my nipples opposite him.</p><p>'Yes ....just please don't cook ' I said half gripping his hair and him nodding in agreement.</p><p>'Takeout it is .....im in the mood for Italian now ' he said as he grazed my thigh with his fingers under the blanket.</p><p>'I meant real food ' He said to assure me he wasn't planning on visiting the cuisine between my legs , that surely would stay open all hours for him. </p><p>'Italian food....good call' I said as I watched his naked body rise from the bed, his pert bottom tensing as he walked out the room.</p><p>He was written in my soul whether I knew it or not. Our days ahead looked brighter and we would learn our words more in time.</p><p>I just hope to god right now , he knows his foods, or this could be an interesting concoction he comes back with as I sat up and walked my naked self to his bathroom and grabbed one of his t-shirts as I went.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. 28-Dancing with the Devil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A very long chapter and probably the most sexually explicit I've written so far but I tried to do it justice.<br/>I needed to cover 3 different events occurring on the same day in this chapter from 3 different groups of characters perspective.<br/>There is also depictions of graphic violence in this chapter, so if you are squeamish then I wouldn't read it <br/>again this is work of fanfiction and in no way is a depiction of the boys in real life.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For us 8 months, had pass since I first met Namjoon in the height of the early summer and we had been together as an unconventional couple for about 5 months of that , finding our way in our world and finding ways to make our own ways of caring.</p><p>It had been a few weeks since the shitshow that was the clubs private room and thankfully I hadn't seen those two fuckers anywhere , just the usual scum we have in the club from time to time, and over time, I became to forget that snakes hands on my arm , and those evil eyes from Jungkook, I mean who the hell did they think they are . </p><p>It was getting close to Valentines Day , and it was a day I had always dreaded, it seemed to seep into every part of the world and the saccharin fake love sentiment was everywhere, when I always felt people never knew what love truly meant.</p><p>I was always the sceptic , I avoided feeling for so long, that I had become cold to it, as it never visited me in the past and stayed.</p><p>I didnt think Namjoon would mark it all, I didnt need him to , he gave me everything I didnt think I had needed, all the while not saying those poison 4 letters we had both agreed on. I don't think I will ever need him to say it, his arms and body shows me , his protection of me shows me he is within me , and I will always find myself shaking my head at times that this is real.</p><p>He was my port and my dungeon all at the same time, he could provide my safety and he could chain me up and make me his prisoner all in one day and night.</p><p>The bar was going to be shut again for a little while, sadly the violence around us was getting worse and some motherfucker had broken into the bar and smashed it to pieces and covered it in green paint , taking all the best liquor we had and it needed repair and Mr Bang, being the odd but caring manager he was , had let us all have paid time off , as long as we could come and help stock and clean when the repairs where done. I did like that man, he was kind and eccentric .</p><p>Hobi reminded me a lot of him , but I was seeing less and less of Hobi as the days went on, but I didnt question it too much, he was a businessmen and establishments get busy at certain times of the year.</p><p>I had done a thing though, Even though I always say I don't do valentines, I had seen something in one of my many trips out of town , and after much deliberation I would give it to him when I next saw him, something other than my flesh that he could own. </p><p>He had given me many writings over the months, Christmas we had exchanged nothing except these little poems , words we could write in our own language and our shared English so the other could keep.</p><p>I still liked him chasing me , guess there was an old romantic in my somewhere, and Valentines night was no different.</p><p>The day had passed and I was just sat with my phone, the evening drawing in much quicker than it did in the summer past.</p><p>I had even treated Yoongi to some salmon I got in a town trip I made, and I had even managed to find him a toy fluffy tangerine toy, and Oh my god his little eyes and gummy grin when I gave it to him , It was hilarious and jaw achingly cute at the same time, his eyes wide like Gollum finding the ring in that movie, which its title escaped me. Somethings clearly hadn't changed , he was still as weird as the day he strutted into my home and never left for longer than a day or two.</p><p>Salmon served ,I heard my phone buzzing from the bed, as I had placed it on top of a notepad I had . Well well well......who could that be I hoped and hoped as I made my way across the rugs on the floor.</p><p>7.27pm</p><p>Namjoon:</p><p>Outside ...Now...Jagi</p><p>'Huh what' I mouthed at the phone as I walked to my door and opening both layers, not caring that I was still in my pyjama bottoms and a bikini top, it may be winter here but it still warm by England's standards.</p><p>'Joon .......Namjoon' I said as I walked out onto the porch, in my bare feet , my hands gently passing over the metal railings that overlooked a small parking lot below.</p><p>Nothing , no sound at all except the cars in the distance and Yoongi Meowing as he fell asleep in his squished position in the window.</p><p>I went to grab my phone, to text back , as this Kat hadn't found the texting mouse.</p><p>But my vision went black as hands grasped in front of my eyes, taking my breath with them.</p><p>A hard chest against my back , panting and feeling cold and warm at the same time.</p><p>'Move ...Now' It snarled into my right ear, almost biting it as it went .</p><p>For a split second, my soul dropped out my body until I recognised the tone.</p><p>So this little mouse , holding his grasp over my vision , was Namjoon.</p><p>'And what If I don't 'I muttered, going along with his little game .</p><p>'Well' He said as I could feel his dimples growing against my cheeks.</p><p>=====SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION  - CAMILLA CABELLO - SHAMELESS=======</p><p>He forced my steps inside and he kept his hard body against mine.</p><p>'Do exactly as I say ......don't open your eyes ' He said as he removed his hands and trailed them down my neck , his lips following them.</p><p>'Ooo....Ok ...Ok' I trembled .</p><p>I felt his hands reach mine and he thrusts them behind my back ,  holding them together , his breath like lava down my spine.</p><p>'Do you trust me baby' He said , as his sweat started to appear on me.</p><p>'In theory' I said relishing the feeling he was giving.</p><p>'Say yes to me ' he said .</p><p>'Yes' I said without hesitation, my spine now swaying as fingers explored it .</p><p>I felt a softness around my wrists, like silk, but it got tighter.</p><p>He was binding my hands together , he was releasing a little bondage and I wasn't going to argue, I just wish I could have opened my eyes and taken his punishment.</p><p>He knew what he was doing, clearly having done this before .</p><p>He laced his kissed around me, taking off my bra top as he went , and I felt his shirt disappear with a rush of air hitting my naked breasts as he did and he was standing in front of me , I could tell as his hands barely cupped my breasts but his thumbs teased my nipples, making me groan quietly.</p><p>'Let me see you' I groaned , wanting to close the gap between us.</p><p>'Soon' He said as pinched my nipples simultaneously making my body buck into him</p><p>'Stop teasing me fucker' I said , knowing that when I cursed it turned him on and I could picture his eyes in my mind.</p><p>' You trust me ' He said placing his hands on my hips and working his hands to the sides of my pyjamas an easing them down, and his mouth following a trail with his tongue until they where on the floor too.</p><p>'I'm with you, I'm with you' I said hitching my breath as the erotic heat in me grew, using our code , to show him I understood.</p><p>I could hear his pants unzip and the small thud of his remaining clothing hitting my carpet.</p><p>He pulled me into his, I could feel every ripple of his muscular body , his sweat congealing with mine, I could feel his dick on my thighs and his hands dancing in the small of back back.</p><p>'Turn around for me and Trust me ' He said and I moved as he said those words .</p><p>I was close to hyperventilating, his senses making mine electrify with every touch.</p><p>I felt his hands paw my arse, his fingers dancing in my crease and his fingers teasing the back hole of me and it was then the penny dropped , this was going to be a different ride with him inside me and I wouldn't say no, I couldn't say no.</p><p>This wasn't the first time doing this , I had done it before with others, but never with anyone I felt for.</p><p>He placed his thigh and his knee between my legs , his thigh grazing my vagina and my fluid starting to decorate the hairs on his thighs in a beautiful pattern that I could imagine.</p><p>'This ......yes.....'He said as he began to slowly push his fingers inside, making my spine buckle against him.</p><p>'Yes .....'I moaned, so consumed with trying not to cum before we get to the real ride.</p><p>'Then I need to do something else' He said as I felt his hands reach for two things, one was the familiar sound of the condom wrapper and a small smile escaped the corners of my mouth, knowing I could trust him to do that whilst I had no vision.#</p><p>The second , was typing something around my eyes , my face instantly understanding, and smirking realising it was my bra top fashioned into a blind fold.</p><p>'Ready .....to take me' He said, grasping the binding around my hands .</p><p>'Yes baby' I said now bound and blind to him.</p><p>I felt his chest laugh and a hand shot between my legs his fingers collecting my juices which he laced around to my back entrance , helping both of us with what would happen next.</p><p>He held the binding tight and lowered me down onto the bed and held my hips to the side and on a pillow as he inserted his fingers into my hole , gently stretching me .</p><p>I tried not to clamp around his hands, I tried not to scream is name , or moan so loud it could break the very sky.</p><p>He just knelt down and angled himself, holding my firmly, his skin aggressive with mine.</p><p>And with a breath from both of us , he was in the back of me , his length making me howl into the room and my body jerk , my eyes watering under the makeshift blindfold.</p><p>He wrapped his arm around me , clenching his fist around me as he built his pace.</p><p>'Stay with me baby' He purred as he gently bit my neck , sucking skin between is teeth as he went.</p><p>I whimpered, feeling my whole end clenching around his engorgement and riding every wave.</p><p>He was hitting my G spot from the walls of my anus , and he was teasing me closer to hell with every dirty verse he said .</p><p>I was in pain, but this was normal, I loved it , He was tight in me and I was tight against him.</p><p>I could feel my orgasms coming on after the other a cascade of watery cum that trickled towards the back of me lubricating us both.</p><p>'I'm with you' Joon said as he moved his hands down to my clit , playing it like a sadistic piano key  ,making me jerk uncontrollably and his orgasm shooting through his length and pulsating inside of me, his teeth marking my back as he came.</p><p>'Cupid has nothing on me' He said as we both shuddered and he gently eased out of my back hole, making me whimper as he did.</p><p>I didnt think I could but I quickly passed my jelly feeling legs through my legs, no doubt impressing a febrile Namjoon with my flexibility and rolled around, hands bound and sight obscured and tried to find him in the darkness of my vision.</p><p>My strength left me when I couldn't find him and I lay a sweaty breathless mess on my sheets.</p><p>I heard a chuckle and his kind damp fingers slowly untying my wrists and removing the blindfold from my eyes laced with tears.</p><p>I moved into his embrace, us both laying in the darkness naked against us.</p><p>'Now....now....that...that...was better than flowers' I managed to saw before his lips attached to mine and we moved up the bed.</p><p>I had never had that experience like that with anyone else, I could still feel him pulsating in every area down there.</p><p>He just smiled and his eyes watched mine as my soul came back down to earth.</p><p>' I didnt know what to get you' He laughed his motion slowly moving to grab a blanket on the floor and over us.</p><p>'Well .....asshole ....wasn't on the Wishlist ' I laughed covering my mouth with my hands realising how funny I sounded.</p><p>'Well you did call me an asshole when we met I think' He joked back.</p><p>'That's not what I meant' I said shooting him a look.</p><p>'Well ...did you like it ' He said his eyes making diamonds in mine.</p><p>'Well....what do you think' I said looking down under the blanket at the wetness all around .</p><p>'Well well.....I did well' He said looking half proud with himself.</p><p>'You've done that before I'm guessing' I questioned back.</p><p>'Yes both given and received ' He said with a smile.</p><p>'Well good' I said matching his smile, knowing he was fluid in his sexual activities , he didnt care for gender, and I would never judge as I was the same, connection was with a soul in my eyes .</p><p>'Well my compliments to your teacher ' I joked back as he then held me closer and we laid for a time , listening to each other breath and the sound of the time ticking by.</p><p>'Joon.....'I said breaking the silence .</p><p>'Jagi' He pursed back his hands now caressing my hair.</p><p>'I did do something for this day you know. But 'I said nervously.</p><p>'You are all the gift I need, but Ill be honest ....I did too' He smiled at me .</p><p>'What are we like' I said as I gently sat up shaking my hair down and catching his gaze.</p><p>'Shall I go first' I said .</p><p>'Sure Jagi, This is new for me too' He said as I then got up and walked across to my kitchen after pulling a t-shirt on as the night was getting colder.</p><p> </p><p>=====SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - TROYE SIVAN  - STRAWBERRIES AND CIGARETTES========</p><p>I took out a small package from the kitchen draw, nervously eyeing it and hoping I wasn't making a mistake and I held it in my clasped hand and sat back down on the bed.</p><p>'Its something that reminded me of where I came from ' I said as I passed a small black bag into his waiting hands.</p><p>He opened it carefully as he sat crossed legged gloriously still naked on my bed spread.</p><p>His hands tipping the contents into his palms.</p><p>A small silver disc with a black leather cord bounced into his palm.</p><p>'Jagi.....what ' He said as his eyes met with surprise and a tinge of happiness.</p><p>'Its a lira coin, the currency of Italy when I left, I found it ages ago and kept it in my purse, and a little while ago I went to a metalsmiths who was making jewellery in this beachside tent thing and well' I said as I tried to explain.</p><p>'N...J' He said as he noticed the smooth polished front and recognising his initials.</p><p>'Yeah you....I did want asshole but it didnt fit ' I laughed to remove any awkwardness from my face.</p><p>'Jagi.....perfect 'He said as he pulled me into a kiss and tied it around his neck, the cord long enough that it sat close to his chest area.</p><p>'Its corny I know' I said as I laughed and kissed him back.</p><p>'Its ....I ....lo......well, its not leaving me now ' He said as he held it tight in his palm and his smile grew, and I knew it meant something </p><p>'I do have something for you baby, But I need to explain it ' He said his hands resting on my bare thighs.</p><p>'Its ok Joon' I said matching my palms on his thighs, to which he smiled and got up to walk over to his discarded pants on the floor , and getting something from his pocket and he rolled it around his palm, He also picked up his phone and noticed it had a missed call but he just shut it down and placed it on my bistro side.</p><p>He walked over to me , some sorrow painting his eyes as he held what ever this was near the necklace I gave him.</p><p>' I ...I never cared enough to share this with anyone' He said , his voice lightly cracking.</p><p>'It ok Baby' I said as I met his free hand and holding it to show he was anchored still and safe.</p><p>'It belonged to Jimin....' He said as he clenched it closer still and slowly sat down next to me, and his voice shaking slightly.</p><p>'He wore this all the time, on his odd little pinkie fingers ' He said as he opened his palm to reveal a worn silver ring and its very sight making us both form a tear in our eyes.</p><p>'He loved his jewellery ' he said as he laughed as if he remembered a memory.</p><p>'Because of him, I learned how to feel a little , even if I refuse to name it ' He said as he tipped the ring into my hand.</p><p>'Joonie...no....its his...I cant ' I said surprised by the sentiment and feeling how attached he was to it and his care for his late brother.</p><p>'Its your Jagi, I have one the same, as he always bought more than one' he said as he laughed slightly.</p><p>'Joon....you must be sure' I said my eyes letting him know it was ok to take it back.</p><p>'Jagi ...its yours, He would have liked you, he would have approved of you, you are a lot like Grace and he would have seen that too' He said as a tear rolled down his face and he tried to turn his head away.</p><p>'Baby.....Thank you' I said catching his tear with my hand.</p><p>'You say he wore it on his pinkie finger' I said as I tried to put it on, but it was a little big making us both laugh, knowing it must mean that I have very small hands.</p><p>'Ummmmm...... Yeah,,,, well lets fix the problem' He said as we looked for a bigger finger.</p><p>'Oh god !!' I laughed in unison as it slid on well on my middle finger and both of us appreciating the irony of how we met and how appropriate that this is .</p><p>'Well it does fit' he joked as he held his hands over mine and kissed it .</p><p>'I will take it away before you stumble ' He said holding my hand against his face and closing his eyes .</p><p>' I will stay be you side until you survive' I said back knowing our line off by heart now .</p><p>and we stayed looking at each other , another piece of each on the other.</p><p>Damn boy....you are good at this .</p><p> </p><p>============================================================================</p><p>Readers perspective </p><p> </p><p>Earlier that night two angry voices where cutting hell into the air.</p><p>'Fucker ......fucking whore' Tae screamed as he proceeded to kick the shit out of the large couch in their hovel of a home, his hands gripping his hair and his eyes rolling with anger and his grip on his gun shaking.</p><p>'FUCKKKKK' he screamed as he shot a hole clear through on of the sofa cushions.</p><p>Jungkook sitting close by barely flinched, he was ever so used to Taehyungs little out bursts and he just half felt like letting Tae see out is temper tantrum.</p><p>'Brother ....if you keep doing that...you will run out of .....FUCKING CUSHIONS!!!' Jungkook said snapping at Tae.</p><p>'But why isn't it working, why can we not just get them now  !!!' Tae said sulking and spinning and landing sitting on the assassinated cushion.</p><p>'Like I said for the fiftieth  goddamn time my dear Tae !!.....We need both of them to walk into our net.... it is no fun just killing them like a ....well' Jungkook said ending his sentence looking disapprovingly at the dead cushion.</p><p>'But I want to kill something' Tae said sulking and folding his arms gun still in his fingers.</p><p>Jungkook just rolled his eyes and then sat up looking at Tae</p><p>'We've tried to tease him out right ' Jungkook said , engaging Tae in conversation.</p><p>'Maybe we need to colour the water more ....Yes ....Yes Tae you are right' Jungkook said as he stood , his blue silk pyjamas moving over his legs and his open shirt gliding off his chest, revealing his scars and tattoos which matched well with those around his wrist.</p><p>'Here is what you do.....you end a loose end, it didnt work, and we need to keep this fucking town on its toes ' Jungkook said as paced and unravelled a plan he would conduct from a far.</p><p>Taehyung knew who he meant and his childish grin grew and he rose to meet Jungkook eyeline.</p><p>'Do me favour ......make it pretty Tae......something that will surely hurt that bastard .......lets give him a taste of the past huh' Jungkook said as he put his hands around Tae's excited face which was laughing now.</p><p>'Take the boys , do it, report back , and leave a ....calling card' Jungkook said almost blowing a kiss at a now delirious Taehyung who left as quick as he could, leaving an evil looking Jungkook just nodding his head knowing this would move the game along.</p><p>=============================================================================</p><p>The same evening.</p><p>Jin had locked up , he had finished cashing up and was bagging the stock up in the store to put into the back refrigeration.</p><p>He was tired, his eyes heavy with worry , as he many financial worries were catching him up.</p><p>The lights did flicker , but they always did in that part of town.</p><p>He would often sit in the shop alone, his conscious often fighting itself with all the illegal side deals that he had to do just to stay afloat and his face worrying that he would be bruised again if he didnt keep his end of the deal for all parties concerned.</p><p>He was in too deep and he knew it , but he knew he couldn't just leave it all.</p><p>He could hear the sounds of the night outside, some making him jump and some not making him move much.</p><p>He knew he couldn't sit there all night , he heard glass cracking , too far to be the front but close enough to be near .</p><p>'Hello ' Jin said into the darker end of the store, and satisfying himself that the sound was outside and not in his premises.</p><p>He turned each light off in turn, but in his absent mindedness from worry didnt notice the back door to the warehouse was ajar , and eyes had watched him for some time now.</p><p>He worked his way all around turning lights off and locking doors , and deciding in his mind to do the warehouse last.</p><p>A laugh suddenly broke through the darkness, making Jin's hair stand on end .</p><p>He froze trying to tell his mind that it was playing tricks on him.</p><p>But the laugh came again, Jins fear creeping up his body caused it to shake and mould into his voice too.</p><p>'Who .....whoooos .....there' He said praying he didnt get an answer.</p><p>He tried to hold in any cry and didnt want to make a sound, instead hearing steps coming towards him.</p><p>'leave ....we are closed ' He said his eyes growing wetter and his knees shaking as he needed to decide which way to run.</p><p>'Not .....to ...us' A voice whispered cutting through the darkness making Jins blood run cold.</p><p>His coordination left him, his legs running everywhere he could to escape the howls and the whooping yelling in the distance, his scream meshed in with them.</p><p>He tried to get to his phone, missing it on several occasions, but finally pulling it out and hitting the first number he could find .</p><p>'Namjoon-ah....Namjoon-ah .........No........NOOOOOOOOO' Jin screamed into Namjoon's voice mail , his calls had gone straight to it, His hands lost the phone as he fell due to his feet sliding on the wetter end of the shop floor, his phone sliding under a counter.</p><p>Jin crawled as much as he could but he felt a foot stand into his spine, causing him to whelp as his face hit the floor too.</p><p>'AHHHHH Jin .......why the running.....we just wanna talk' an older voice crept in .</p><p>Jins tears could be heard as two feet stood in front of him, clicking a heel on the floor.</p><p>'Boss wants me to talk to you little man' Tae growled at him despite being younger than him .</p><p>Jin tried to cry silently into the floor hoping it would take him with it, but the boot in his back lifted and the two men either side of him restrained him and dragged him into the warehouse , Jin being too frozen in fear to do anything.</p><p>'Now ...Now Seokjin....Where is he ' Tae spat at Jin.</p><p>'Where is who...'Jin Said only to be met with an punch from Tae making his jaw move.</p><p>'You know exactly who......we gave you the haze ...to test out' Tae said as cracked his knuckles after the hit .</p><p>'No.....No...'Jin said knowing they meant Namjoon.</p><p>'That fucking sack of shit owes us' Tae said , the whites of his eyes growing in rage .</p><p>'NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS HE.......!!!!!!' Taehyung snarled , his lips aggressive against Jins ear.</p><p>'I don't know....I don't....he doesn't live here' Jin said, trying with all his might to keep the truth off his face.</p><p>Jin of course knew exactly where Namjoon lived, Namjoon paid Jin to stay in the Junkyard Trailer , A side venture owned by an uncle who lived in China most of the years, the place was well hidden and wasn't even listed so He knew Namjoon could hide there, their story starting about two years prior this evening , a story they rarely spoke about, but Namjoon had saved Jin more than once in the past and Jin returned the favour by helping Namjoon stay off the radar.</p><p>'Well when does he come here' Tae said his pace growing</p><p>'he ...he doesn't' Jin gasped , blood now forming in his whimpering mouth.</p><p>'I know about his Whore Jin, now don't fucking lie to me' Tae said gesturing for another punch to knock the information out of Jin.</p><p>'No ....NO .....leave her alone' Jin said , his chivalry wanting to protect Kat even in this moment</p><p>'Yes that little bitch.......boss wants her too.....little play thing' Tae said his eyes dancing in his own head.</p><p>'I don't know .....know...Tae....please' Jin said as he fought harder to keep his two friends safe in his mind.</p><p>'You really are fucking useless Jin' Tae said , laughing towards the end .</p><p>'That means you are a dead end ...and we cannot have dead ends hanging around....no no no....boss doesn't like that' Tae said his hyper side coming back and noticing the perfect solution.</p><p>'Boys ...up there...perfect' Tae said with a glint in his eyes.</p><p>Jin knew instantly want Tae meant and his body fought as much as it could but was no match for the men holding and dragging him, his eyes burning from the tears he was screaming.</p><p>Tae watched as Jins fighting body screamed for its survival .</p><p>The men pulled Jin tight and lifted him high , making sure his last vision was of a snarling Taehyung in front of him.</p><p>'Give Namjoon ......Jade enigma's regards.....' Tae smirked as he indicated for the men to drop Jin.</p><p>The Meat hook slid through the back of Jins neck, piercing and rupturing through his larynx and his blood pouring out of him as his life left him, his body twitching as the muscles spasmed as death met them.</p><p>'Perfect calling Card' Tae laughed as he watched the blood trickle towards him.</p><p>'Now we wait' He said as he left and closed the doors with his two heavies being careful not to leave any trace , other than one, Taes flare , his black and green paint marks on the outside of the door from a little pot he always kept in his pocket, the mark , the call card of what he served.</p><p>They snaked off into the darkness, back to the hovel they called home and for Jungkook to wait for Namjoon to come out of his hiding.</p><p>But Namjoon, was unaware right now, he was in Kats arms, his pendant rolling on his chest when his breath grow and they where in their safety....if only for now.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. 29 - Harsh Reality of Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Namjoon makes a shocking discovery and spirals , with Kat catching him and they put the pieces together and realise how close everything has been , right under their noses.</p><p>===THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, DRUG INDUCED VIOLENCE , AND DESCRIPTION OF DEATH SO READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED =====</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Namjoon's perspective </p><p>He had woken up , his raven haired beauty asleep and slightly drooling on his chest as she released little snores that just made me smile and want to kiss her over and over .</p><p>He felt a presence by his bare foot poking out of her blanket on the bed , and to his surprise there was another cat liking him right now, as he saw Yoongi snuggled at the foot of the bed and totally content with Namjoon being in his new makeshift family.</p><p>'I pleased 2 kitties in one night ...sweet' He laughed quietly to himself , placing an arm behind his head so he could wake up and register the day a little more and he could watch his girlfriend dream at his side .</p><p>He watched as the pendant she gave him rose and fell with his breath and he gave a bitter sweet smile at this gift which was now probably the greatest thing he owned.</p><p>Kat moved about and rolled over to continue whatever she was dreaming , and Namjoon chose to sit up and made sure the blanket covered her and protected her from any morning cold.</p><p>Namjoon always wanted to keep her safe even if the threat was only a cool breeze.</p><p>His face said words his mouth wasn't allowed to and his eyes danced over her form for a few moments before he got up , gently stirring Yoongi who just meowed and went further up the bed to sleep in the small of Kats back. </p><p>Namjoon found his discarded Trousers from the floor nearer the bistro bar and he placed them on, and smiling to himself remembering how he lost them and he fastened the buttons silently so as to keep the slumber going on before they all woke.</p><p>Cracking his neck and wiping the sleep from his face and brushing his hair out of his face he went to Kats fridge and retrieved a bottle of water, opening it silently and gulping down what he could before he needed breath.</p><p>He felt for his pockets and noticed his phone wasn't there and he remembered he had taken it out and placed it on the bistro bar and he probably thought it had a dead battery by now.</p><p>But it hadnt, it had stayed awake and Namjoon noticed he had a missed call and voicemail from Jin, and he quietly exited the apartment and onto Kats back porch through a small screened door much like the front door but just a little smaller.</p><p>The sun had started to rise in the sky, thick orange and red and cutting through the clouds.</p><p>Namjoon dialled and raised the phone to his ear.</p><p>'KIM NAMJOON....YOU HAVE 1 NEW MESSAGE , PRESS 1 FOR YOUR MESSAGES 'The irritating automated voice pulsed in his ear.</p><p>Pressing one he pulled the phone back to his ear , and waited for the message to start, only to be rocked by what he heard.</p><p>'NAMJOOOONNNN.......NAMJOOOOON.....NOOOOOOO' Jin could be heard screaming for his life and a panic in the background and a crack as if it had been thrown and the line going dead.</p><p>Namjoon face contorted and his hands began to shake as he tried to find Jin's number in his phone and called it .</p><p>No Answer, the phone just going straight to voicemail on every of the 5 or 6 attempts he tried.</p><p>Namjoon stomach clenched, the screams resonating in his head , the sounds of someone in more fear than he had ever heard and no answers as to why.</p><p>He quickly but quietly entered Kat's apartment again , and pulled on the remainder of his clothes, pausing only briefly to decide whether to wake Kat or not , his face confused and upset as to what was the right thing to do.</p><p>He didnt wake Kat , he just glared knowing he had to find out on his own, and he left as quick as he could , hammering down Kat's metal front step and running as fast as he could to EATJINS.</p><p>His feet pulsed along the pavement, his skin etched red from the blood coursing its way around his body as the oxygen left him the faster he ran.</p><p>He reached the shop, it was silent and the lights where off and even the sign at the front flipped to the closed side.</p><p>Namjoon knew there where 3 entrances, the one he was standing in front of , the one in the warehouse which was normally locked if everything locked closed and a small door that pointed out to a back alley just behind the office , it was a passcode entry door much like the one at the scrapyard Namjoon called his home.</p><p>Namjoon raced around, checking also that he wasn't being seen as something just didnt feel right , his fingers slipped nervously over the keys as he typed in the code Jin had entrusted him with in the past '  921204', and he swung the door open, to be met with the darkness inside only illuminated slightly by the daylight permeating the front of the shop.</p><p>======SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - KRWLING - LINKIN PARK  FT AARON LEWIS OF STAIND======</p><p>'Jin-ah' Namjoon yelled into the empty shop, his voice echoing and bouncing about.</p><p>'Hyung....where are you' He spoke as he took steps further into the building and his foot steps began to feel things on the floor and he could see that the shop wasn't in it usual chaos , but this looked deliberate .</p><p>'Jin.......JIN' he yelled his soul hoping for an answer and his inner thoughts urging him to keep going .</p><p>A mass of foot prints where in the shop and glass smashed and stock everywhere, showing signs of a struggle.</p><p>Namjoon leaned against the main counter , his foot grazing something solid under the counter top, and his intrigue made him bend down and root his hand around where his eyes couldn't see and he felt a cell phone and pulled it out.</p><p>'Oh fuck....no' Namjoon mouthed as he recognised it as Jins phone , the same phone that had called him, and if it was under there after hearing the message , Jin must have been in great trouble as he was normally glued to that thing.</p><p>Namjoon thrusted the phone into his trousers pocked and lept around the side of the counter, to check the only place he hadn't been...... the warehouse.</p><p>He knew the warehouse was large, larger than the shop front, but his eyes caught the ajar back door and Namjoon walked towards it to close it and turn on the lights as the only light in the room was from some of the refrigeration units humming and the sun cracking through the gap of the door.</p><p>He clicked the light on first, and went to turn and tried to yell one last time to Jin , hoping he was just hiding and being the Joker guy that he once met a few years ago, but his eyes caught something he couldn't fathom, something that tore his mind to shreds in an instant.</p><p>Jin had been there many hours, hanging from the meat hook that had been used to murder him, and his body tight as it had begun to swell having been dead for many hours , his eyes part open with the white of his eyes painted red from the stress of those last moments.</p><p>'JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN' Namjoon screamed until his voice cracked, his body falling to his knees and his eyes erupting in tears , he had no strength or breath in him to stand , but his eyesight just stayed focus on his friends swaying body.</p><p>Namjoon knew he was dead, and he had been for a while, and his conscious made the connection to the phone call, Jin had called him moments before in an effort to save himself , and Namjoon's emotions overwhelmed him and he just bowed his head on the cold concrete in front of him, crying hard , harder than he had in a while.</p><p>Namjoon felt guilty in those tears, he had been with his girlfriend and perhaps he could have stopped this .</p><p>Jins body didnt leave Namjoon's mind and he knew he had to do something , He couldn't get him down, he was too rigid now to attempt that and he didnt in his own way want to hurt his friend anymore. He did all he could think of ...He picked his phone up and called .</p><p>'Yes .....Yes Police and Ambulance .....I need to report a death........A man,28, Eatjins , Cascade Road ......Goodbye' Namjoon left as little detail as he could, he didnt trust police but he knew he couldn't leave his friend in this last moment he would spend with him.</p><p>His eyes stayed on Jin, he tried to keep his eyes on him, but he couldn't, Jin wasn't in there anymore , his soul had been ripped from his body and Namjoon's pain grew with every second passing , he turned and made his way out the open back door .</p><p>'Mihane Hyung(Sorry brother)' He sobbed as he quietly left and pushed the door closed to the warehouse his body retching and half falling over the railing on the small set of stairs, his stomach contents rising in his throat and pouring out of him as he sobbed and tried to catch his breath whilst the vomit shot up his nose too.</p><p>He just held onto the railing trying to keep himself in this reality, but he could hear the sirens getting closer , and he knew he had to get up and get out of there , he needed to stay hidden , it was what Jin had helped him do and he knew in his gut he had to keep doing it.</p><p>Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then holding his pendant from Kat to try and muster up his strength his eyes turned and a bit of truth caught his eyeline, The mark he had seen by one body before, his brothers when he had been found , Black and Green , painted on the door and Namjoon just went pale with fear , he knew and he knew what had happened .</p><p>Jade Enigma, they were here, they were close and they knew.</p><p>Namjoon knew that Jungkook and Taehyung where the cause of this and his past screamed through his head as his feet ran as fast as they could back to his trailer.</p><p>===========================================================================</p><p>Kat's Perspective.</p><p> I woke up and didnt find Namjoon beside me but this wasn't unusual, he often did this and it didnt bother me , even when I woke up horny, which after last night was a given.</p><p>I felt sore down there but it was something I enjoyed last night and well my man did a good job.</p><p>I felt a fluffy mass at my side and knew that Yoongi was now taking his place on the bed after Namjoon had left.</p><p>It was early afternoon, Crikey...how long had I been asleep, how long had Namjoon been gone....Holy shit I am hungry ......gawwww too many thoughts for this early after waking up.</p><p>I just got up, and put on the shirt I had discarded before Namjoon and I had fallen asleep, and I admired the ring on my middle finger, my smiles swelling at the importance of this connection between me and Namjoon's late Brother Jimin. My mind did wonder what he would have thought of me , would we have clashed, would we have been best friends, who knows.</p><p>I found my phone after I grabbed a banana to stop the snarling in the pit of my stomach , and I sat down on my bed .</p><p>I flicked the screen on and I had no messages, which itself was a little odd , Namjoon always text or left a cryptic clue if he left whilst I had slept and I was a little confused as to why I hadnt found that yet.</p><p>I just composed a message .</p><p>KAT 12.22PM</p><p>'Morning Joon.x ' and I sent it .</p><p>But my phone stayed silent, the message delivered but it stayed silent and the vibrations in my stomach grew, this wasn't normal.</p><p>I picked up the phone and tried to call, but the call kept being pushed to vm, every time and It rang beforehand so I knew it was being done manually.</p><p>'Fuck sake Joon ...answer me' I said into my empty apartment my anxiety rising every time he didnt pick up.</p><p>KAT 1.04pm</p><p>'Joon answer me !'</p><p>Nothing in return</p><p>KAT 1.07pm</p><p>'Joon you're scaring me , answer the phone,  please' </p><p>again nothing </p><p>'Fuck sake what is going on , grr what do I do' I screamed at the lifeless phone as I tried one more time in frustration to get hold of my boyfriend who was feeling further and further away from me by the second.</p><p>The call connected and all I could hear was him breathing, heavily.</p><p>'Joon....Namjoon...what the fuck...is that you...speak to me baby. Please' I said desperate for a response.</p><p>'No .....no' I could hear his voice say pained and his voice sore with emotion.</p><p>'Jesus ...fuck....baby...where are you.....Please' I pleaded .</p><p>'NO ...NO FUCK OFF' he yelled down the phone at me in confusion.</p><p>'WHAT ....DONT TELL ME TO FUCK OFF ....WHERE ARE YOU ...TELL ME NOW !!' I screamed as the bile rushed up my throat.</p><p>'They will hurt you too Jagi.....they always do......why......' he said and started manically laughing down the phone , and then the line went dead.</p><p>My hands shook, and my breath rose faster than I could keep up with half making me choke.</p><p>something was wrong with Namjoon, I could feel it , it was like a vibration in my bones and I knew I had to get to wherever he was quick and I knew where I had to try first. The trailer before I started ripping this town apart to find my boyfriend.</p><p>I pulled on shorts in record speed and grabbed everything I needed and ran, my legs folding at the speed sometimes , I needed to get to him quick.</p><p>I got to the scrapyard stopping on briefly to get some oxygen into my body before I passed out.</p><p>I put in the code , throw open the door and hurtled towards the trailer, rattling the locked front door trying to get in.</p><p>I went round the side and into the back via the porch, my feet missing the steps at the front and falling partly into a dark trailer.</p><p>Everything was upside down, everything thrown about, smashed plates and the air thick with tension.</p><p>'Joon' I yelled, trying to remember where his lights where , and my back to the hallway that led to his bedroom.</p><p>'NO!!!' I heard a scream from behind me and my whole body was pushed out of the way.</p><p>Namjoon looked rabid as he lunged towards me , placing his hands around my throat , his eyes satanic and rolling about as he squeezed and forced me into the wall below his bookshelves.</p><p>'Joooo...nooo' I tried to gasp , his strength unbearable by the moment</p><p>'if you aren't real...they cant take you too...you aren't REAL.....REALLLLLLLLL' he screamed at me as he came close to my face, close enough to drink the tears of fear falling down my face.</p><p>I acted on instinct and kicked as hard as I could between Namjoon's legs hitting him square in the dick like I had intended.</p><p>He released his hands and I punched his face to make sure he fell down, I never wanted to ever hit this man, but I was fighting for my breath and for some reason something had gotten into him.</p><p>I ran to the door ready to run but my heart told me not to, as I heard Namjoon's tears again, those same tears I heard when he screamed about Jimin for the first time to me. I knew what this was ....or I had an idea.....He must have taken something but why.</p><p>I sat precariously on his office chair and watched as he sat up against his coffee table his hands slapping his face , trying to knock some sense into himself and rambling about me not being real .</p><p>=====SOUNDTRACK SUGGESSTION - THE FUNERAL SONG - THE RASMUS===================</p><p>'You have ten seconds to tell me what the fuck is going on Joon before I leave for good' I said as I nursed the soreness of my neck.</p><p>'No .....noooooo' He sobbed.</p><p>'I'm fucking serious ......what have you done' I snapped at him like a mother chastising a child.</p><p>'I thought it would take it away ....take it out my head....him...I can still see him' He said hitting his head .</p><p>'you took haze Joon' I said nervously.</p><p>'How much and where is it ' I said as I got up to look at the counter , and seeing just a blue tab of it left.</p><p>'Haze isn't blue Joon.....its like paper .....is this new ...I don't get it ' I said as I held this familiar yet alien new variant in my hand, and my mind fell back to that night .</p><p>'Joon how much ' I said with my back to him wanting an answer.</p><p>'All of it ....I don't care......leave me ' He said sniffling into his legs as he sat rocking back and forth.</p><p>'Fuck sake Joon no.....there is something wrong with this...and I think this has happened before ' I said as I pulled the chair in front of him and sitting down on it.</p><p>'You owe me a goddamn explanation......a fucking good one considering you just strangled me' I said giving no warmth to my voice.</p><p>'He's dead' Namjoon sobbed .</p><p>'Jimin??' I said thinking this was his memories regressing and ripping through his mind along with the haze in him.</p><p>'Noooooo' Joon sobbed again</p><p>'Who is dead Joon, cut the bullshit ' I said stamping a foot in front of him to try and get an answer.</p><p>'Jin.....Jin .....he has been killed and its all my fault' He sobbed his head disappearing in his knees.</p><p>I sank off the chair in disbelief , what was Namjoon saying to me , Jin ...dead...how.....none of this makes sense.</p><p>'Wha....what do you mean Jins dead ...Joon what did you....what happened ' I said as I clung to the floor whilst sitting trying to make sense of what I had just heard .</p><p>'He is dead because I'm here ' He said as he looked over his knees , his eyes begging me to not ask anymore , but I ignored it.</p><p>'You didnt' I said , hoping he wouldn't admit to hurting Jin, my heart telling me he couldn't</p><p>'They did it ....they did it.....they ALWAYS FUCKING DO IT!!!! ' he screamed as he lunged towards me and wrapping his hands around my waist and his head buried and crying into my chest.</p><p>I was too scared to move , he just sobbed into me and my own tears and fear was cascading onto his hair as I tried to think of what to do next.</p><p>'Joon.....who......' I said nervously.</p><p>'They cant take you too, I cant do this again' he said holding me tighter<br/>'Tell me Namjoon ...who are they' I said once more.</p><p>'They killed Jimin.......They are here and I cant stop them......They killed Jin and they will kill us both ' He said as he fell too the floor sliding off me .</p><p>'No .....'I gasped as I tried to sit proper on my aching legs .</p><p>'Jade.....Jade Enigma....they killed Jimin' Namjoon said as he laid on his floor and I had crawled to his position by his couch.</p><p>'Jade.....those criminals in the paper' I said not sure I wanted an answer from Joon.</p><p>' They have found me , We are dead Kat....both you and me Dead ' He screamed at his the ceiling.</p><p>I grabbed his arms forcing him to sit up and look at me, his eyes returning to a better shade of normal the more I anchored him into this reality.</p><p>'Who are they' I said keeping hold of his hands.</p><p>'Myun - Li , its his organisation, his son runs it and calls the...the shots...since Myun Li was locked up for life' He said his sobs slowing and he was coming back to me.</p><p>'His son.....the one who killed Jimin' I said confused.</p><p>'His son and his demented friend .....they killed my brother ....they have been tearing places apart trying to find me and my father ' He said as his face grew from sorrow to anger.</p><p>'None of this makes sense ' I said ever the more confused.</p><p>'You need to go the police ' I said to which Namjoon just laughed.</p><p>'This isn't funny Joon.......if Jin is dead...they need to know....someone needs to stop them' I said convinced it was the right things to do.</p><p>'I found Jin, I called what I could and I ran...I ran and I couldn't get him out of my head' Namjoon said his face remembering how he found his friend .</p><p>'Holy shit' I  muttered and then made sense of why Joon had taken so many highs .</p><p>'They are going to kill us Jagi.......I thought....I'm so sorry' he said as he got closer to me</p><p>'That shit...it must be that shit...they are fucking with me, and it made me think you weren't real' He said trying to worm his way back into my arms full of apology.</p><p>'Baby ...im so sorry ....I wouldn't never hurt.....no' he said as he held me and I knew and felt what he was telling me was the truth.</p><p>I just held him, my heart letting go of the hurt Namjoon had given just earlier, It made sense and we had been through too much for me to walk away now .</p><p>'We aren't going to die baby...I'm here .....I'm with you' I said making sure to anchor him all the way down and holding his as he crashed after a high overdose.</p><p>'You don't know these guys Kat.....They don't stop' He said taking deep breaths as he came all the way down.</p><p>'Well we deal.....same as we always do' I said holding his hands.</p><p>' Jagi....I've known from early on...I'm going to die young......They will never stop ....I just keep running' He said , tears beginning to form and him fighting the feeling to push them away.</p><p>'Everyone dies Joon, for a number of reasons......that's why you live ....and you don't give a fuck' I said squeezing his hands.</p><p>'We keep each other alive....you owe me that....you owe Jimin that' I said catching Namjoon's gaze and showing him I am serious.</p><p>'Jimin....'Namjoon said as his tears fell.</p><p>' I know baby' I said as I held Namjoon .</p><p>' I never want to see the things I've seen......they called it artwork.....they always mocked Jimin......and every time they kill.....they leave marks ......its like demented fucking breadcrumbs' Namjoon explained .</p><p>'What do you mean......' I said , as my curiosity and anxiousness built .</p><p>'Jade Enigma .....the fucking henchman... they leave marks , green and black marks ......like they are marking what is now theirs' He said as his face went to explain more.</p><p>'Green....and Black.....those marks ......paint.....the Bar!!' I said shocked as I was piecing together what I was hearing.</p><p>'Yes ......its all them......I just wasn't sure until......' Namjoon said .</p><p>'Jin.......you saw it there.......' I said already knowing the answer.</p><p>'Yes .......Taehyungs stupid little trick' Namjoon trickled off .</p><p>My eyes shot open, I couldn't believe what I heard.</p><p>'Say that again!' I partially yelped </p><p>'What' Namjoon posed back.</p><p>'That name.......Joon ...who are these people......' I said with him noticing the expression on my face.</p><p>'baby........what' He said looking surprised.</p><p>'What are their names' I said sharply.</p><p>'Jade Enigma.....Myun Li's son....He is Jeon Jungkook ....and his sadistic little lapdog ......Kim Taehyung......Jagi....why.....Jagi ...NO!' he said realising the fear now on my face.</p><p>'I know them, they are already here.....they know who I am .........you might be right .....oh my god' I said unable to form more words as I was shocked.</p><p>They were right under my nose the whole time, they had wormed their way around me, they had crawled right up without me noticing or making any connection.</p><p>They killed Jimin, and now Jin , and they knew we were here, they must know Namjoon is too.</p><p>What do we do.</p><p>Namjoon and I just sat in silence , our gazes trying to keep each other alive in that moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. 30 - A New World of Confusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter mentions several triggering elements <br/>-suicide<br/>-mentions of past sexual assault<br/>-mentions of past violence <br/>-mentions of grotesque death .</p><p>This chapter deals with the aftermath of the events after Jins death and how Kat and Namjoon tell each other everything from their past.</p><p>This is work of fiction as always and is not representative in any way shape or form of the real life guys in any way other than their visuals and a few little bangtan Easter eggs hidden in line of dialogue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We had a lot to speak about that night after the revelations poured out of us and the ground once again turned to quick sand.</p><p>I had forgiven his grief stricken drug fuelled attack on me and I knew it wasn't the core of him doing that.</p><p>We both agreed to not lie to each other, to hold nothing back and to make some decision about what to do next.</p><p>Jungkook and Taehyung had probably been aware of me and Namjoon long before we were aware of them , and that both didnt sit well.</p><p>But our homes where intact and untouched, we had done well to hide away from the world from our own respective hells and we hadn't been found by anything we fled from. Our homes weren't in our names, and were arrangements with friendly faces and money at the end of each month, everything our homes ran on was coin meters or our own generators, so did staying make sense?</p><p>we had found each other , and we had committed to each other, so was one going to run from the other at this time, would one force the other run to stay safe , would we both go done in flames trying to fight this . We needed to work it out and in truth we knew it would take more than one night of screaming and tears to make this work.</p><p>Namjoon didnt hold back, he told me everything, things I never thought my mind would hear and I watched with every sentence, the hurt dance over his face when he hit parts he had probably never told anyone about since they happened.</p><p>He told me about his father, his disgusting sack of shit father, who had left his son to die and had run away with all Myun-Li's money, never to be seen again. He told me that Myun Li had been imprisoned back in Korea for life and even from inside he held power and his son had taken over operations and morphed Jade Enigma into something great and unstoppable.</p><p>He told me that it wasn't just those two arrogant fuckers running the show, it was a network of people. He told me how Jungkook was the master manipulator and he knew how to get what he wanted without you seeing him coming . He explained how Taehyung was the one to draw in Jimin, he was great actor when he needed to be , but the screws where complete loose and he was sick and deranged and Jungkook played on that, more often that not using Taehyung to get the work done.</p><p>Namjoon had been on the run for 5 years , He had to or he knew he would die and the voice of Jimin in his head told him to go, he left with just a bag, he left the home he grew up in, he took very few belongings with him, just what he could carry, he visited his mothers and brothers grave one final time and left South Korea and never looked back. He told me he learned from looking online that his families estate had been burned to the ground and every single memory was now lost.</p><p>He told me how Jimin was found, his eyes burning with tears with every word he made.</p><p>He told me how Jimin had been dead before he was 'put on display' as a message , his insides on the outside and strapped by his neck and wrists to the tree he and Jimin used to run around as a child, Their gardener had found Jimin and called the police. Namjoon couldn't even say goodbye, as once he left the hospital after recovering from his own near death he fled, he knew he had to. He admitted to me he felt like a coward for doing it , but he was the last part of his Mother and his Brother and he was determined to stay alive as long as he could even though he felt in his soul he would die a lot younger than the years left in him.</p><p>He told me everything to my heart, he told me again he had never intended me to be anything more than a conversation , but he again explained how he felt connected to me and how those parts of me spoke to him and he couldn't leave , and for once he had stopped running and anchored himself in the first place he had felt safe in a long time. It all made sense , I knew his heart was full of 3 things , Me , his Mother and Jimin.</p><p>He read my face, making sure I understood him, he held my hand when I held his , he knew I wanted to be wherever he was.</p><p>I saw both a broken man and a frightened boy, the opposite of his asshole bravado I had met that first night last year. It was ironic, someone who always tried not to show affection did and he did it well , even if we agreed to not say the word which had hurt us more times that we could know.</p><p>I had to tell him my side, I told him what happened at the club and how I knew who Jungkook and Taehyung where , I had to watch as Namjoon's eyes burned with anger ,and how I had come to him that night wanting him to heal me , when the rain didnt wash away the memory of that night.</p><p>I told him my past, I told him how I was beaten by my alcoholic father when I didnt satisfy his demands and every time I didnt match up to my 4 older brothers. I told him how I was called a whore more times than my actual name as a child and that when I could , I ran and I left the Truva shit show and tried to keep them far away from me. </p><p>I told him how I stayed with an old school friend who turned out to be a big mistake, how he wouldn't take no for an answer, and how he drugged me and raped me to stop me telling his indiscretions to the world , about how I tried to run when I woke up the next morning and he attacked me again throwing me down a flight of stairs fracturing my collarbone and leaving me there when he decided he didnt want to stay at his home.</p><p>Namjoon had to absorb everything, He had to know everything , he had to see every part of me and he had to control his emotions about reacting to each hell I told him.</p><p>I needed to unload everything , because if we were going to stay together, there was to be no baggage.</p><p>I told him about being homeless and leaving the UK at 20 and going wherever my feet would take me , I told him about having no other choice at times than to sell my soul on my back and on my knees to just pay for the food in my stomach, and I felt as his hands held me as I sobbed , letting these lead balloons in my head float away and him still caring about me all the same.</p><p>We once likened our selves to pennies , kicked down life's road and scuffed to shit and feeling worthless to everyone else in the currency of life. It made sense why we had out outlooks on life and love and why we didnt believe in it and how we were risking our minds and bodies by finding it in each other.</p><p>He told me how the police couldn't stop Myun-Li and his son, and that this Enigma just morphed and changed and even a Private Government unit called Valiant , from back home had been tracking these guys for years but never had any luck getting the main ring leaders, just a few paltry convictions of the on the ground guys who never got more than a few month in prison.</p><p>He told me that it was Jungkook running the show , he told he was good at anything he tried to do and he was obsessed with pain and gore and that rather than modern warfare which was Tae's penchant, Jungkook had an obsession with how to inflict pain, he didnt use guns, he even in his younger years was interested and obtained older weapons like collectors items.</p><p>He explained how he knew Tae was obsessed with this Green jade handled gun he had , he would almost orgasm over the thing just by holding onto it , he was that sick and twisted about his little toy, and heck that sure matched up to the asshole I met.</p><p>We talked for hours eventually retiring to his bed , too tired to do anything other than sleep or just rest our sore eyes in the darkness as we held each other.</p><p>We knew and I think we had semi agreed in silence movements that we couldn't run, this would follow us and for now we would just hid in plain sight, as they hadn't found us and because no one had in years we would hide in plain sight.</p><p>I know I would have to act in ignorance if I saw them , I had never admitted any connection to Namjoon by name, It was just two separate occasions they had met me and for now I had to play the best poker face of my life whilst Namjoon worked things out further and he told me that Jade Enigma play a long game, they don't go for the straight kill or obvious hit , as was evident in the crimes rising around us.</p><p>I had work in the morning , Hobi needed me for stock take and an empty club with just his humorous attitude might take my mind off things.</p><p>I woke in the morning and Namjoon laid next to me his face still red from the night before, his eyes heavy and deep in sleep , I knew he would be asleep for hours and I could be there and back before he woke and I would text him too.</p><p>I laid a kiss on his cheek, which was slightly bruised from where I had to hit him to get him to stop last night, and my eyes felt a tinge of disgust, but I knew and we had even agreed to each other that it was an act of desperation and I had to snap him out of his drug rage or the night could have ended very differently.</p><p>=============================================================================</p><p>I left when the sun was barely peaking above the horizon, having only a couple of hours sleep in my body at that point and I just walked along the beach, the silence of the dawn more unnerving that the chaos of the night . </p><p>I walked past EATJINS , which was surrounded in police tape and the windows obscured , my heart sang and tears stung my eyes as I felt so sad knowing what had happened and how Namjoon had found him. Jin had been so nice to me , always that goofy smile and his bizarre laugh and I wanted to mourn him, I just didnt know how.</p><p>Word must have got out , but I hadn't read the paper ,  I don't think I could as I already knew the truth , but I saw flowers at the front of the store, and the wind catching the cards making them dance, burned out candles on the paving slabs, and this feeling dragged in my stomach as I walked faster.</p><p>I got to the club , and the front entrance was locked , so I went up the back stairs knowing sometimes we were told to use that when the club was closed.</p><p>I used my work keys to get in , and walked into the club which was barely lit.</p><p>suddenly two hands grabbed and shook my shoulders yelling in my ears.</p><p>I screamed and flinched harder than I knew my body could , swinging around ready to attack however it was and half convincing myself that it was Jungkook and Tae .</p><p>A very confused Hobi stood half laughing and then realising he had scared the life out of me, he stepped forward which only made me back away.</p><p>'Kat.....Katalina....It was a jo...joke....a prank' He said holding his arms towards me his eyes mixed with sorrow and regret.</p><p>I couldn't hold my tears and I just cried uncontrollably, holding my face as the sorrow flooded the floor in front of me</p><p>Hobi took me in his arms, rubbing my back to try and summon courage in me.</p><p>'Kat.....oh no......what is the matter' He said reassuringly , but it just didnt know what to say.</p><p>'Vodka...now ...go' He said turning me around and his goofy grin not taking no for an answer .</p><p>I wasn't going to say no at this moment in time, and Hobi was solid, I knew him , and right now familiarity and his whole aura might just keep me down to earth.</p><p>' Is it Jin' he said  the tone in his voice knowing something had happened to Jin.</p><p>'I know he ...he is dead' I sobbed as I blew my nose into his beer napkins, making his face slightly shudder at the sound.</p><p>'Poor poor guy, so so sad, how could he do it ' Hobi said, as he drank a can of sprite he must have been working on for a while.</p><p>'Huh ' I said as I gulped and let the alcohol burn down my raw throat.</p><p>'Seokjin, they found him in his warehouse, he had killed himself , people are saying it is because he was in debt ......poor guy...' Hobi said as he shook his head , and my face tried to hide the disgust in what I was hearing.</p><p>'He .....he .......sorry...He killed himself' I mused , again I couldn't believe what I was hearing as I knew the truth.</p><p>'Yes one of his staff apparently found him, hanging in the warehouse , he had hung himself' Hobi explained.</p><p>I just sat confused, I knew after speaking with Namjoon that what I was hearing was not true, but in a way this rumour Hobi was telling me made perfect sense, Jade Enigma liked a spectacle and they would be cover their tracks way too well, or maybe the police in this area didnt know how to deal with what they found.</p><p>I couldn't tell Hobi , I couldn't let on anything , and I just decided to go along with his version of events until I knew more of a plan from Namjoon. </p><p>Hobi sat with his drink and me with mine in silence both us feeling our own thoughts for Seokjin and none of them marrying up with each other.</p><p>I tried to text Joon, but their was no signal at the moment which wasn't uncommon in the club as it was essentially a big ugly concrete eyesore and the WIFI was shit beyond belief.</p><p>I had to keep thoughts from my head and get on with the few hours of work for Hobi, I had to keep my rouse up and keep the show going.</p><p>Hobi gave me my space and even offered a hug when I left but I was too tired to engage in that and just accepted a smile as I left.</p><p>I walked back , the day was quiet , maybe the scene at EATJIN's had inspired some respect.</p><p>I walked and walked , I couldn't go back to Namjoon's yet, he probably wasn't awake and I needed fresh clothes as the past 24 hours had laced my current ones and apart from the spare panties I always kept in my handbag I had no clothes with me.</p><p>I found myself in a daze walking far too far and checking my phone and examining it for signal, but still nothing , and I was at the pier, a place that held happiness for me , Namjoon's little excursion brought me here once and cracking a smile in my aching face, I let my feet walk me under the pier as the tide was out and I knew again I could hide in plain sight under there and just let me thoughts drain out of me without being watched.</p><p>I craved peace, I wanted it for once in my life and I wanted Joon to give that me and I wanted to give that to him, but we where do we even start, when we are in danger .</p><p>If the waves could give me an answer right now I would gladly swim in them.</p><p>Girl....You're in Danger .</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p> Namjoon's Perspective.</p><p>He awoke, his face stinging, skull banging and his cheek sore from Kat's actions last night .</p><p> His mind still adrift with the images he had seen of Jin and the memories he had to tell Kat.</p><p>He was alone in the bed, and noticed that Kat wasn't there , and he went to find his phone .</p><p>No messages and calls, highly odd for both him and her.</p><p>He tried calling and it would connect, his mind swam with fear, his thoughts rattled like a roller coaster in his brain, as he tried over and over again and only got Kat's voicemail.</p><p>No ......No he couldn't let it happen again and ran grabbing any clothing he could and out the door not caring if he met his fate in those footsteps, He didnt know where Kat was, He couldn't let missing or not making a call being the action that ended Kat's life , like Jins.</p><p>Namjoon couldn't form a rational thought , his panic guided him , his phone never leaving his grasp, he had to find the other part of his soul, before those that tried to destroy it , took her away from him too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. 31- Waves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The tide is moving and Kat and Namjoon make a decision together.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Namjoons perspective:</p><p>'Where are you baby....come on' Namjoon said under the hood of his hoodie and shaking his phone to try and summon signal  which came and went faster than he could keep up with.</p><p>'Please no.....not like this .....no' His voice shook as he sped along the shoreline , hoping to catch sight of Kat, his breath was hurting him, his lungs hurt from the anxiety racked in his body.</p><p>He didnt know what had happened, he didnt know if Kat was with them or not, he didnt know if she was dead like he found Jin.</p><p>He hated himself for falling asleep , he did that the last time and didnt answer Jin's call.</p><p>Of course Jin's murder wasn't his fault but he couldn't fathom that.</p><p>His feet hurt and he could run no more , he had to get the air back in his body, he slumped sat down on a bench , not knowing how close he actually was .</p><p>He couldn't draw attention to himself , he didnt know who was watching , he was a walking target.</p><p>The sky above him was the only innocent thing he could focus on , he didnt fear the clouds , he knew that he and Kat are under them.</p><p>In his mind he just said the same thing over and over again, not daring to let his lips utter them.</p><p>'Please don't let me lose her , I cannot lose another person I love , please don't take her away from me, I have to survive for her , I have never loved anyone like this , don't take her away, I will do anything .....' He said in his mind over and over again as tears hit his phone screen like a silent wish to give it power.</p><p>He did mean his thoughts, for the first time he believed himself , even if he would never say them out loud.</p><p>He was half a soul , lost and looking , but where was she ......</p><p>============================================================================</p><p> Kats perspective </p><p>I must have fallen asleep at some point, the pain of the hours before and the peaceful lap of the waves must have lulled me to sleep .</p><p>I still felt a little numb, and it wasn't the cold wind under the pier, I felt overwhelmed at the task I know me and Namjoon had to endure, and I knew I couldn't hide under the pier for ever.</p><p>I hope the waves as I stared at them could give me some answers, the water washing away my worries and cleansing us of everything bad around us.</p><p>I didnt care that I was caked in sand, I didnt care that I looked like shit, I was hidden and I knew that was something I would have to get used to.</p><p>The waves never came up to where I was on a concrete sand covered Groyne , I was safe even at the highest tide , unless of course a storm surge hit , but right now the threat wasn't the water.</p><p>I hadn't decided in my head what I was going to do, myself and Namjoon where like fish in a barrel being shot at .</p><p>I checked my phone , signal was back but as I suspected no messages from Namjoon, I guess he was still asleep.</p><p>I could hear more life around me , and sat watching it , the innocence of people who couldn't know what was happening in this town.</p><p>I was a little jealous, I wished for their triviality, I wished I knew their secret, and why their existence didnt invite hurt at every junction.</p><p>A young couple with a baby boy, probably no older than 2 , were playing on the shoreline, his laughing piercing the air as his father ran from the small waves, and the child's mother rolling her eyes as she got sand everywhere, Love stretched across their face .</p><p>It made me smile , but I knew that they were the lucky ones, they knew love and it was ok for them.</p><p>Both I and Namjoon must have been broken from the start, we never had that , never had the dream in front of my eyes .</p><p>I knew he was my waves , and this incoming storm could take him away.</p><p>'Don't stop laughing little one' I gently spoke as a tear ran down my face, wishing I could have known a time like that when I had a family that loved me.</p><p>'turning soft in your own age ' I huffed to myself as I scratched some fly away sand out of my hair.</p><p>My phone was vibrating in my pocket , it was Joon....why was he calling, he normally text.</p><p>'Namjoon.....I' I started but couldnt finish over his booming voice.</p><p>'KAT ..where the fuck....whats happened where are you!!' He bellowed his voice stretched with pain.</p><p>'woooo Joon I had to work at Hope's and I went for a walk and I ...I fell .....asleep' I said trying to give an explanation that made sense.</p><p>'What the fuck.......Ive tried for hours ....where are you' He yelled.</p><p>'Joon calm down, I'm ok ......what...I told you about working....didnt I?' I said unsure as the last night was a muddle for both of us .</p><p>'Where are you' He said and I could tell he was crying gently as his breath hurt to hear.</p><p>'Im sitting under the pier , I am safe....baby ...please' I returned.</p><p>He hung up the phone and I just sat shaking my head, Oh god what had I done.</p><p>Have I put him in danger, he must have been looking for me for ages , oh god what if they found either one of us , what the hell.......Kat you stupid bitch.....you hurt everyone !</p><p>I just pulled my knees up to myself , this all felt too big, I wanted to just be held , but no one had done that in years, and the one person I want right now, I have just scared the life out of .</p><p>'Kat ....you ruin everything' I said in repetition , until my thought was broken by steps and a silhouette cut by the daylight.</p><p>It was Namjoon, a mixture of anger and desperation and adoration painting his red cheeked face.</p><p> </p><p>======SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - LENA FAYRE - THIS WORLD====================</p><p>'Jagi' He gasped as he came up to me and embraced me so hard almost losing his balance and pressing my form into his chest.</p><p>' I ruin everything.....I'm sorry soooo sorry  ' I sobbed holding him , my arms draped exhaustedly around his neck, both of us having our tears cut stencils on our necks.</p><p>'You don't Kat.....but I know what we have to do, its clear now...' he said , his lips gently warming my neck as his hands caressed my hair to comfort me.</p><p>' I cant do anything Joon....Its too hard....what if we....' I said my words so tired as my body had run out of ideas.</p><p>'This scared me , Last night I almost lost you through my own doing , I didnt fight baby....Jagi....I didnt face....I always run......and I can't...' He said as his embrace grew harder.</p><p>'what baby....what....' I said pulling my head away from him to rest my forehead against him.</p><p>'You are worth fighting for, we are worth fighting for ....they aren't taking the last thing I have, not this time....and not you! ' He said with his eyes overpowering me and his hands forming into the nerves on my spine.</p><p>'What ...what if we aren't strong enough' I said , my mouth begging him to take me and never leave.</p><p>'We are bulletproof remember... ' He said moving his neck to make sure I saw his tattoo.</p><p>'I'm not...baby ....I'm not, I'm already dead....' I said feeling the weakness overtake me again, my eyes not having the strength to cry anymore</p><p>'If we fight Jagi...we live , even if its just a moment.....even if our lives end soon, I live every day with you......we stay....however long we have , we have it all' He said his hands now holding my face and his lips gravitating towards me .</p><p>'I will take it away before you stumble' He soothed with his voice to me.</p><p>'I will stay by your side until you survive ' I spoke back to him , our words saying everything we wanted to in that moment.</p><p>'We live ...every moment'' He said before filling my mouth with his.</p><p>He pushed me back into the sand , his hands guiding my body to wrap around his , my hands fought his clothes, his clothes that intoxicated me with his scent , his eyes penetrating me before anything else.</p><p>He pulled me into him , not wanting to waste any space between us , his touch bringing me back to life with every grasp.</p><p>I didnt care if anyone could see us , I needed him with me, we needed each other to survive and our bodies wanting to soak each other washing away the hell we had fallen into last night .</p><p>He removed my shorts and laid my body over the groyne , my soft moans crashing in time with the waves which had grown stronger , He had lowered his trouser and had remembered I always kept us safe with the contents of my handbag, He prepared himself quicker than I could notice and he guided my hips onto him.</p><p>'I'm with you' He said over and over and my back arched with every thrust he made.</p><p>I moaned , I breathed fire every time I felt his length in me , he was igniting me , giving me reason to fight, He was penetrating my heart and I knew as our bodies connected and our fluids ran around us that he wasn't ever leaving my heart.</p><p>He picked me up , wanting to close any space between us , his forehead resting against me as he used his strength to lift and lower me on him, his eyes closing in ecstasy as I grabbed his hair , trying to give him some of my strength as his orgasm overtook him.</p><p>'I'm with you by your side' I said over and and over in his ears , his sweet kisses meeting mine when your tide had pulled us both to the sand once more.</p><p>We had made love on that beach, maybe for the first time it was more than sex, it wasn't fucking like we had started , this was the closest I had ever let anyone and I wasn't letting go now .</p><p>So we fight Namjoon, to the end of our days , whenever that may be , we just have to work out how.</p><p>Stay........Stay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. 32- Paint it Black</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat is having to learn to be brave in her new reality , she just isnt overly sure how yet.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time flies both fast and slow when you are watching everything around you, you sit waiting for something to happen.</p><p>I guess that is what it felt like for myself and Namjoon as the green and black tide kept moving around us and we still had to figure out how to escape this whilst staying in one spot.</p><p>I wasn't giving up on Namjoon, the old me would have run a mile at the slightest hint of anyone with a complication and I wasn't able to separate my life from his anymore.</p><p>One thing we agreed is, as far as we knew Jungkook and Taehyung as of yet didn't see us together, they were just two parasites feeding of anything they could find in this town ,and myself and Namjoon had been hiding in plain sight for years.</p><p>For now I would still work, anything out of the ordinary could show that we were unnerved , if we put a drop of blood in the water, those two sharks would come right to us.</p><p>I would work and I would jump at every sound around me , I hated not having control of the spiral we were in but there was no choice, we had to stay put for as long as we could and hope that someone or something took out Jade Enigma, or they just burned themselves out and moved on thinking Namjoon had left.</p><p>I didnt let on to Mr Bang , Nor Hobi, but I'm sure Hobi noticed the tiredness in my eyes and he was being nicer to me than normal, or maybe I don't know maybe I am just over analysing all this.</p><p>We needed money of course, I needed to keep paying Mr Min and not make his apartment that I stayed in a target. This in turn was going to be a little difficult as the units around me where filling up with new tenants , and their sounds kept me awake at night.</p><p>I wanted to fill the air of the apartment with mine and Namjoon's moans as we enveloped into each other and made love and lost ourselves in the last true escape we had left, but we both agreed that my place was too out in the open for Namjoon to keep coming round.</p><p>Namjoon's home, as I said , you would never know was there , it was concealed behind a hidden scrap metal wall and only the owner, who was never around and Jin had known where it is . I knew he would be safe there and we would have to work out how to be together in the hidden place , as the streets pure aggressions where growing.</p><p>I could feel it in the air when I was working at BANGS, the sirens in the air, more drugs being circulated, customers and passers by growing ruder and more aggressive.</p><p>Businesses in the town where being vandalised , some where packing up and leaving , getting out before they were next, or just simply moving where there was more money.</p><p>Namjoon couldn't stay in the trailer forever, he still needed to make his own money, and I never questioned how that happened, I never knew what work he did, or if it was even legal but he was a man of simple means, he paid Jin in quarters for the ground rent for the trailer , and he had made an arrangement using some details Jin had left in his phone to make sure the rent was still paid.</p><p>The owner didnt know of Jin's demise , Namjoon told me how he found the phone and never handed to anyone, it was Jins diary of sorts, Jin was mixed in all sorts just to keep things straight, he had helped Namjoon a few years back in a by chance meeting in the alley behind the warehouse.</p><p>Namjoon had been attacked, having just arrived in town and Jin found him when he gone to throw some bins out , mistaking him for a drunk at first, but Jins kind nature had taken pity on Namjoon and the two struck up a friendship, Jin had agreed in exchange for help he could find Namjoon a roof over his head , and Jin was looking for friendship, he had been ostracized from his own family , for not wanting to be in the family business and he wanted to set out on his own.</p><p>They had needed each other and had formed an unconventional friendship, and he was an older brother to Namjoon, a bond that Namjoon had missed since Jimin died.</p><p>He had told me everything as we agreed we needed to know everything so we could get out of this eventually.</p><p>I was glad to have known Jin, but my heart hurt every day that he was dead because of us in some way . Jade Enigma was trying to flush us out and Jin was caught in the crossfire and his whole death had been written off as a suicide.</p><p>Days and weeks bled into each other , and the summer season approaching and I could just feel the smoke in the air , as the fire around us grew.</p><p>we would go stir crazy if we didnt figure out a way to do this as more and more shit fell onto the streets.</p><p>===============================================================================</p><p>'Baby I have to do this double shift at Hope's, we need the money' I said to Namjoon on the phone.</p><p>'Jagi....I will find us money' He said concerned.</p><p>'I'm ok, we've found this pattern right and so far so good, no fucked up twosome, and even if they find me , they wont find you' I said with a plead in my voice.</p><p>'You have to trust me now ' I said softly, as I heard his concerned breath on the other end.</p><p>'I'm going crazy stuck in here by myself, I need you baby' he spoke softly.</p><p>' Im with you Joonie, always' I said , knowing our quote was as strong today as it had ever been.</p><p>'Just promise me you will be careful and as always call me when you get home and take route 3 home' He directed on the phone.</p><p>We had worked out a series of ways to get to his and mine and in such a way that we wouldn't take the same route twice in a row, in case we where found. I would change my clothes after work, I would cover my face with a face mask , which was common anyways due to pollution levels sometimes , I would remove all my make up , and this costume would help me hide in plain sight.</p><p>Namjoon always wanted to protect me and fight off anything in front of me , but my stubbornness and attitude gave him some reassurance that I could do this . I guess It could be my undoing at some point, but for right now it was what was working.</p><p>'It's your birthday soon Jagi ' He said trying to change the subject.</p><p>'I stopped counting Joon' I joked </p><p>'Jagi, you don't look 35, you don't feel 35 , and you are forever young with me Kat' He said trying to schmooze his way into my good books and I just tutted down the line knowing full well it was working.</p><p>'It's just a number Joon, and you can be like this , you are 27!' I retorted back.</p><p>'Well you have a point ' He laughed.</p><p>'I miss you, come see me tomorrow if you can' He asked .</p><p>'I will try baby, we need to get find a way for you to hide in the outside too.</p><p>'Ok Kat, I'm with you, I'm always with you' He said , and I could hear his lips kissing the phone.</p><p>'I'm by your side ' I whispered back as I hung up the phone and got ready for work.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>The club was busy and it was full of arrogant assholes , spitting their demands at everyone , throwing money around like it was confetti and not caring who they insulted .</p><p>It was normally me and Jessi on managing the Bar with a handful of other servers, and Hobi when he was there , which was becoming sporadic , but tonight he was here.</p><p>Jessi could tell something was on my mind, but I guess knew me well enough at this point to leave it alone unless I turned to her.</p><p>She knew I had a boyfriend , but of course I gave him a fake name, I didnt trust anyone knowing Namjoon. His alias when I did talk to her was Joe, which I guess wasn't too far a stretch.</p><p>I knew this job wasn't going to last, everything in this town was going to shit but I was going to hang on as much as I can.</p><p>'wow ....they are on something tonight Unnie' Jessi said to me trying desperately not to lose her cool and throw a glass at someone's head.</p><p>'You are not wrong girl, seems like everyone is on something these days , and this town is flooded with shit which doesn't help' I tutted as I finished unloading the dish washer.</p><p>'I mean the bastards don't even tip no more' Jessi mused and sneered at anyone she could find.</p><p>I just smiled knowing full well we shouldn't expect it , not now.</p><p>the night would follow a patter, Serve, sneer , take cash, rinse glasses repeat.</p><p>I fell into my own little world, my mind filled with thoughts of Joon and being safe in his arms again soon.</p><p>We had been together in some fashion for nearly a year now , our connection starting that day in the bar on the beach.</p><p>I felt older than I had in a while with everything in my head and around me.</p><p>'Hey Unnie, you in there ' Jessi said coming up to me and mocking a knock on my head.</p><p>' Oh shit sorry, yeah I'll do that side now ' I said knowing it was out turn to switch sides again.</p><p>'Thanks Kat, that creep is back again....and I just.....well ...I just can't get arrested again' She said , and I knew full well she had had some shit a little while back with an asshole who tried it on a little too heavy with her. I remember her telling me and me wanting to smash a bottle into his head if she ever wanted to point him out to me.</p><p>'What will it ......be....' I said and looked up in shock.</p><p>'Well hello to you too' Taehyung purred as he dripped his arrogance over the bar.</p><p>This was the first time I had seen him in a while and It took a second or two to fill Namjoon's voice in my head and keep calm enough to get through this , I mean this was going to happen sooner or later, but Namjoon and me had not been seen side by side.</p><p>'Whatever!!' I said as I tried to walk away making it look like I was recalling his treatment of me in the back rooms.</p><p>'Service would be nice, and your hands did such nice work before' He said , his poison gliding over the bar.</p><p>'What do you want.......drink...what do ...you' I said fumbling over my words and trying not to stab this guy with the ice cube holder I had found with a hand under the bar .</p><p>'I could drink this whole bar and you know it ' He said and laughed at the view of the crowd behind him.</p><p>'Soju....now...Glass' He said clicking his fingers at me.</p><p>I turned and swallowed any fear I had , my eyes I could feel grow dark, Namjoon's courage coursing through me, This fucker wasn't going to get anything out of me , and if he clicks those finger one more time, I'm going to rip them off and shove them up his arse!!</p><p>'fuck sake Noona, watch the clothes ' He bounced back as I slammed his glass on the bar and placed both my hands on the bar service to assert that I wasn't going anywhere.</p><p>'I'm sure you have plenty ......asshole' I said back .</p><p>'Now now .......you don't want that pretty little mouth to get you in trouble 'He hissed over the bar</p><p>'No no.....what would a little boy like you do anyways ' I hissed back, forgetting my rouse in the midst of my anger rising in my stomach.</p><p>'Id teach you a thing or two .....' He said pulling his face closer to mine, his eyes growing wider to try and intimidate me.</p><p>'I....doubt ....that 'I said not breaking gaze and wanting to spit in his evil face.</p><p>I tapped my fingers and drummed them into the bar , the metal of Jimin's ring making a separate sound that seemed to irritate Taehyung and leave him with a confused look.</p><p>He couldn't of known who the original owner was surely, he just didnt like that he couldn't get his own perverted way yet again.</p><p>He just hissed back, drank his drink and tossed it , with it rolling and hitting the floor and smashing by my feet.</p><p>'BOYS !!!! lets leave this shithole....we have things to do' Taehyung yelled when the song ended behind him and about 20 others silently nodded to each other and walked out too.</p><p>'Take care ....girl.........too much attitude will fill that little head of yours....and well....you never want it to be too much for you.....I mean that poor Seokjin....I hear he couldn't hack it ' Taehyung said as he laughed and threw his arms in the air and left and kicked a glass pane in the front door smashing it and causing Hobi to come out of his office bemused.</p><p>I just shook, I could barely catch my breath, the anger and the adrenaline mixed and made me hum with an unsafe energy.</p><p>I wanted to calm, but Tae's poison was everywhere, He mocked Jin knowing full well he killed him, He wanted to poison me with his rancid charm and his very presence just made everything feel more dirty that it already was.</p><p>'Kat.....Kat...Unnie' Jessi said as she shook my shoulder.</p><p>'GAH!!.......Sorry .....Im...im ok' I said shaking and trying to stop any tears escaping me and me letting my guard down any further and not wanting to concern her, I was grateful he hadn't involved her too, because if he was the creep she had referred to, she would have been on his list, and I didnt want blood on my hands if I could help it .</p><p>'I just need to use the restroom...yeah...Ill be right back' I said and Jessi nodded and understood without me having to say more.</p><p>Our rest room was separate to the rest of the clubs and I almost threw myself in the stall and just hyperventilated , and for a moment losing my shit and decided that trying to smash the toilet bowl with my feet was a good idea, but it didnt work and I just sat on the lid and held my head and panted with my head between my legs.</p><p>This felt too big, he was there without notice, this whole club was swimming with those bastards and I didn't know . They could have done anything to anyone, why were they there , and my god Thank fuck Namjoon doesn't come in here anymore.</p><p>'What the fuck am I going to do' I said resting my hands behind my neck and grabbing hold and I just breathed as if I was praying to the light fixture above me.</p><p>I just couldn't muster a solution over the din of the noise all around me and in truth I would have been happy to sit in this stall until everyone left this town.</p><p>I couldn't cry, I felt like I had done that enough, but my spiralling was broken by a knock on the door.</p><p>'Unnie......Katty girl....you ok' Jessi said from the other side , and I slowly unlocked the door, my tired body still sat on the toilet .</p><p>'Oh honey....what's wrong....is it Joe' She said as she crouched down to look me in the eye .</p><p>'Something like that ' I said back with a wry smile , I wish I had someone I could share all this with and I wish I could have a friend to take some burden, but I hadn't done friends in a long time.</p><p>Jessi was nice, she had spent half her childhood in America , and her attitude suited the bar well, she bounced her sarcasm off the clientele just like I did and in the small time we had known each other, she was the closest thing I had in a female fried.</p><p>'Well  fuck any man who messes you around' She said assuming I was upset about a man taking advantage , oh geez how wrong she was, but I just went along with it. Namjoon aka Joe wasn't a waste of time , he was my time, my world and my only stability in my life .</p><p>'I think I just don't feel well Jess, must be my period or something?' I said as I pulled myself to standing with her help.</p><p>' Well get out of here then, I'll keep Hobi off the scent ' she said as she winked and handed me my bag.</p><p>'I owe you one Jess, I'm gonna get changed though as its colder tonight ' I said as I took my bag and half shook her hand in thanks.</p><p>' oh and Kat .....Happy birthday for Sunday ' she said with a wink, remembering my birthday was 3 days away , and I must have mentioned it to her.</p><p>I closed the door and adopted the outfit I had in my bag, part of the plan me and Joon had decided on, and I took off my make up in the mirror and sink opposite the bathroom door.</p><p>'35.......and this is my life' I said as I wiped the last traces of my make up on the back of my hand.</p><p>Jessi had been the only person to wish me Happy Birthday in many years , and I felt both old and young all at the same time.</p><p>after some hesitancy, I popped on my face mask and slivered out the club unseen , a few hours before I was due to, which played into my favour as it wasn't part of a pattern and I had less likely chance of being caught, and less chance of that fuck bag Taehyung hanging around.  </p><p>12.34am</p><p>Kat: Baby, going home early, will explain more later, I'm safe . </p><p>and send , I slid the phone back in my pocket and made my way home. </p><p>My feet had moved quick and I took the agreed route and I got indoors and just laid on my bed , not even removing my face mask.</p><p>The tears started to simmer, until I felt a bonk on the side of my head, and had to blink as the light seemed to diminish.</p><p>'Yoongi.....ewww get your ass outta my face!!!' I laughed as I pushed him to one side, he had tried to head bonk my head with his.</p><p>I swear the fluffy turd knew when I needed a little affection and I just sat up and took my mask off and let him curl up in my lap and fill me with warmth and a little security.</p><p>The phone in my hoodie pocket buzzed.</p><p>1.32am</p><p>Namjoon: Im with you jagi, See me tomorrow and I will make you forget whatever you need.</p><p>1.34am</p><p>Kat: Ok, Joon can you promise me something though....'</p><p>1.35am</p><p>Namjoon: anything baby</p><p>1.37am</p><p>Kat: my birthday .....can we do it when  this is over , maybe for the first time I can actually celebrate it then.</p><p>1.38am</p><p>Namjoon: Your wish is my command Jagi, but of course you can still blow my candle out tomorrow if you want ;)</p><p>He made me smile with that remark, I knew he was trying to lighten my mood, and I wished that it could, but I was still trying to find my place in all this chaos, but I would go to him tomorrow and find some peace at least.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. 33 - Uncomfortable Duality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two pairs , the same evening, two very different plans .</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Well it was the plan , the plan I had wanted to get to all day , and finally I found the right time to leave, packing a few essentials and making my way to Namjoon's .</p><p>'Be good whilst I'm gone ...and don't speak to any strange people Yoongs' I said at Yoongi who was sprawled out on his back on the counter top, too comfortable to give two fucks. Haha what's the betting he comes back as a rock in his next life.</p><p>4.44pm</p><p>Kat: on my way, route D.</p><p>4.46pm</p><p>Namjoon: Ok baby....I'm waiting.</p><p>And with that I put the phone in my bra , as my hands where full as I tried to lock my door behind me, a lock that was a bastard to do at the best of times.</p><p>I took the route we agreed, I was alert and checking every corner I went round until I got to Namjoon's and slid into the scrap yard as silently as I could.</p><p>I could see his form the other side of the screen door on the front of his trailer, his namtitties always had a way of greeting me even now and his bleach blondes tresses still picked up the light</p><p>'Baby' He said as I went indoors and he pulled me into his bare chest and wrapped his arms around me , comforting me with his breath and holding me still as I calmed my chest down and brought my pulse into rhythm with his .</p><p>'Hi ......better late than never.....' I said as I reached up to meet his kiss as I lowered my hood and meet his face with mine.</p><p>'You ok' He purred his nose caressing mine on both sides and making me still with the calm he created.</p><p>' I am now ' I said as I pecked his soft lips , wanting to fall into them every time I did.</p><p>' I know its hard baby, but we are working this out ' he said his hands cupping my red cheeks and his thumbs hovering over my cheekbones.</p><p>I broke away gently and went and sat on his couch, placing my bags on the table .</p><p>'I got food' Namjoon said as he bent over and took some tubs from his refrigerator, his beautiful ass just being hugged by his jogging bottoms , and his pendant I made for him swinging from his neck and catching the light in the room, evoking a small smile from me.</p><p>'Please tell me someone else cooked that' I joked, remembering how bad a cook he was, and removing my hoody as he stood back up.</p><p>'No ...no ...its a friend, Jackson, he cooks great Chinese food , and I picked it up from his ' He said as he wrestled with the lids and tried to figure out a good configuration for them in his microwave just over head.</p><p>'I got 7, ummm  7 different things we can eat from there ' He said as he pushed the buttoms and set the microwave on its first task.</p><p>'7 sounds good' I said I placed my hands in my lap and shook out my hair and just watched him as he watched me.</p><p>'I did have an Idea Jagi....follow me ' He said a hand outstretched before me</p><p>'Sex ..before food...baby.....Hangry and horny are two different things' I joked with a snort and a hint of sarcasm.</p><p>'No ....no...come see' He said as I stood and followed him, my hand intertwined with his.</p><p>He led me to the bathroom, and handed me a box .</p><p>'This ....we do this tonight, another way of hiding in plain sight' he said with a soft smile.</p><p>'You want to dye you hair ...' I responded looking up at him and half seeing why he thought it was a good idea</p><p>'I stick out baby, ...blonde....its not natural ...and as much as  I like it ...It might help' he said his voice soothing me and convincing me.</p><p>'Ok...well I thought for a minute you meant me .....My hair is already black though, I dyed it recently' I said back.</p><p>He looked a little confused.</p><p>'grey hairs, even with this youthful face , I get grey hairs ' I pursed back to him with a small laugh.</p><p>'Oh...right ....yeah...got you' He said as he took the box back.</p><p>'Well your carpets and curtains match baby don't worry...' he laughed and his dimples formed making him too cute for words.</p><p>'Asshole!' I said in shock that he had learned this British phrase from somewhere which meant that both my head hair , and private hair where the same colour.</p><p>I just jabbed his ribs, laughing and he just held me tight .</p><p>' Will you do me tonight ....the hair ....hair ...definitely the hair ' He said falling over his words.</p><p>' Baby....I can do both' I said kissing his lips and then us both turning as his microwave pinged and we both went to eat.</p><p>I sat in between his legs on the floor and took a set of chopsticks and helped myself to the dishes in front of me , my stomach welcoming every mouthful and my back feeling Namjoon around me keeping me safe.</p><p>He had a stack of newspapers on the table and I knew why.</p><p>'They are still going at it aren't they, more places have moved out' I said in between mouthfuls.</p><p>'Yeah baby...they are getting desperate I think, they do this.....they peak and dip ....and well' Namjoon said as he gestured towards the papers.</p><p>'Yeah seems like that....They are everywhere ....Tae ....he was....in the club last night' I said hesitantly.</p><p>'What......baby...you didnt say' He said in shock almost dropping his food on the back of my head.</p><p>'Its ok, I did as I was told by you, he was trying to get a rise , It didnt work' I said reassuringly.</p><p>' Jagi...if he so much as ' Namjoon said , before I stopped his sentence and arched my back to look at him.</p><p>'Joon , trust me, I'm ok, you were with me , I felt it ' I said cradling on of his legs.</p><p>'I'm by your side ' He soothed back.</p><p>We just sat and ate and would let the rest of the night take its course.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>Readers perspective.</p><p>The Town was slowly being pulled apart from the outside in, Jungkook and Taehyung intimidating or making ultimatums with anyone they could.</p><p>They hadn't found both Kat and Namjoon in the same place , and as Namjoon had told Kat ,The two toxic men would peak and fall , to keep everything on its toes.</p><p>The police where useless, underfunded  and some where corrupt, in this area of the world where money was a sacred commodity.</p><p>Taehyung did most of the dirty work, He was Jungkook's puppet, he part loved it and was part oblivious to it , he loved himself far too much and his demented outlook gave him the impression that everything around him was his, whether it agreed to be or not.</p><p>Jungkook had his hands in everything , they did vandalism, assault, robbery , prostitution, anything to keep them masters of their own universe .</p><p>They were concocting the next phase, the same evening as Namjoon and Kat where working on their disguises, the two never knowing what the other pair was up to much to each others frustrations.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>Soundtrack suggestion - Paparazzi - Tbeatz </p><p>'WELL EVERYONE IS HERE......' Taehyung yelled up to the mezzanine to stir Jungkook's attention and to get him to come down.</p><p>The smoke was thick in the room , the chatter amongst the minions of the Jade Enigma waiting for their boss to stir and come down and address his court .</p><p>They sat in this den of iniquity , surrounded by their spoils , the spoils that in time were divided and moved on to the various ranks in the group.</p><p>Except in the corner in the left, the far corner was Jungkook's corner, a corner dedicated to his weapons, the weapons he made his masterpieces with, the weapons he cut and sliced and stabbed a bloody canvas with.</p><p>Jungkook of course, since a child had an obsession with the macabre and his care and devotion to these instruments of torture where always on display and ready to go at a moments notice.</p><p>'Ladies.....and gentle fuckers' Jungkook's voice bellowed from the mezzanine as his figure cut a shape in the moonlight pouring through the skylight above him, and he worked his way down the laddered staircase like a snake going the wrong way on its board game.</p><p>His feet met the ground floor, their very presence creating a silence from the mob around him.</p><p>'We still have work to do ' He said as he held his hands together , his pace growing as he paced up and down, Taehyung bouncing around behind him and salivating at Jungkook's very movement.</p><p>'We are doing well...but we need to do better, we need to make the cuts deeper, the strokes...more...more vibrant ' Jungkook pursed as if he was instructing an orchestra in front of him.</p><p>'We are striking fear, but we need to give them the fear of god, make the see their shitty little town is just that.....anyone who can be bought , we buy them, anyone who squeals, we slaughter like sick little piggies, we keep our eyes on the big prize and we try and find the treat I'm after'  Jungkook continued.</p><p>'Now the girl, leave it for us, we will work out something , she is the final play thing I want to rip into pieces , whilst she is wrapped around me of course' Jungkook snarled much to the raucous cheering of the mob and Taehyungs disapproval.</p><p>Taehyung had told Jungkook about his visit to the club and Jungkook semi approved, but much like Namjoon , he wanted to get the kitty last, it was his ultimate bargaining chip against Namjoon, his fail safe if he didnt find him first.</p><p>'So boys rest for a few hours, drink, eat and fuck whatever you like here and then spread out and make the picture more colourful' He said as one of the woman that floated around handed him a a whiskey and draped themselves around Jungkook , making it obvious what she was there for.</p><p>'What about me boss' Taehyung said trying to catch a scrap of approval from the man that mesmerized him.</p><p>'Tae tae ...surprise me .....do what you want' He said , as his girl groped him and and edged him closer to going back upstairs, not knowing that with Jungkook sometimes you didn't come back down those stairs with a pulse .</p><p>'Will do Hyung ......I know just the thing, a little secret I've been keeping that I'm gonna go find' He said as he joined the crowd and his eyes grew more deep and sinister as his plan grew in his mind and his laugh grew into a screech .</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>'JOON!!!. you have to sit still' I said as I gently slapped his cheek as he sat in front of me </p><p>'Well Jagi if you had those in front of your face...you would be a little distracted too' He said flicking my nipples through my top as I was standing in front of him, it half made me almost drop the damn bottle of hair dye square on his head.</p><p>'You are impossible' I laughed and looked down at him, a mesh of blonde and black hair below me.</p><p>'That's why I ....I'm by your side' He said holding my hips and focusing his gaze on my chest again.</p><p>I worked the dye through his hair, matching it up to his natural black roots and half sighing that we had to do this , even though he was just as sexy with any hair to me.</p><p>The wet sounds filled the bathroom, Namjoon wiping my arm anytime dye got on it and then me resuming the work to change his hair colour.</p><p>'What's London like Jagi' He said out of nowhere, his head watching his feet whilst I worked the dye into his head.</p><p>'Pardon' I said a little surprised, as he had never mentioned it before.</p><p>'Really Baby , what is it like' He said again.</p><p>'Full of bad memories and pollution, why' I said with a streak of sadness in my tone.</p><p>'I have never been, never been past Europe' He said as his hands stayed on my thighs and his fingers lightly drummed.</p><p>' It did have its charmed, you...and well Jimin would have liked the art and diversity there ' I said trying to erase any disappointment he had at my answer.</p><p>'Let's go there , if we get through this , I'll take you, for your birthday ' He posed to me .</p><p>'Joon.......Its a bad place for me' I said back.</p><p>'If I keep you safe from here, I can keep you safe from London too 'He said, his face moving upwards to me and his hand holding my arm which was the same as the hand I held the dye in.</p><p>His eyes were welcoming and soothing and wanting me to give him a good answer.</p><p>'You are serious aren't you' I said falling into his gaze yet again.</p><p>'Its similar to where I am from.....Ilsan , its close to the capital Seoul, and in Seoul there is this big River , The Han River ...and its gorgeous ' he continued.</p><p>'I don't think the Thames would match up, its filthy' I laughed.</p><p>'One of the first memories I have of my Mother, of Grace , is her walking me in a stroller with my Halmuni, ummm Grandmother along the Han River, with my grandmother cradling Jimin who was just a baby in her arms ' He said his eyes misting as he remembered.</p><p>'I want to give you a new memory baby, lets rewrite the old ones, one blank canvas at a time , like Jimin would' He said his arms pulling me closer.</p><p>'Joon....you philosophical dork' I laughed never actually agreeing to it all.</p><p>'Call it a late birthday present , new adventures and no more running if we make it to the end of this race ' He said and embraced me , not caring where the hair dye went at this point.</p><p>'You aren't going to let me say no at this point are you' I said wiping a small amount of dye on his nose .</p><p>'Not in my plans no' He said as he wiped it off and let me put the bottle down on the side behind me.</p><p>'Well you and your great plans' I said as I bent forward to kiss him.</p><p>'Yes Jagi, I'm full of mystery and sexual magnetism' He said as he lent back to see me better, but plain forgot his head still had dye in it , and he managed to splat the wall behind him , resulting in a grimace and a laugh from both of us.</p><p>'Well I think you are half right ..' I said wide eyed shaking my head as this sexy man dork.</p><p>'We make plans if we can' I said and turned to wash my hands and letting Joon start to run a shower to wash his hair when the development time had passed , which still had a few more minutes at this point.</p><p>'I do have another plan Jagi' He said with my back to him.</p><p>'This is the part I normally get scared Baby...' I smiled as I cleaned my hands .</p><p>'Stay' He said .</p><p>'Stay with me here , its safer, at least for now , lets let the tide pass please ' He continued.</p><p>I was taken back a bit , he was essentially saying to me to move in temporarily and wait for the light to come back into our little world.</p><p>It did make sense, it made a lot of sense and I think my heart decided before my brain agreed .</p><p>'Are you sure....two targets apart are better than one target in the same place' I said testing the water.</p><p>'Yes I am sure , and yes Yoongi can come too' he said trying to use the fluffy lodger to seal the deal.</p><p>'Baby' I said turning and meeting his serious gaze.</p><p>'I'm serious Jagi, I need to see you, every minute apart recently is painful, and I would feel happier ' He said his dragon eyes drawing me into an answer.</p><p>'Well I would need to get some stuff together, I cant wear your clothes ' I responded .</p><p>'Well who said you need clothes baby...' he said indicating he wanted me naked as soon as possible .</p><p>'Not funny....anyways I would need to actually catch Yoongi....I don't feel right leaving him to fend for himself and I need to pay Mr Min, he knows nothing of what is going on at the moment ' I said formulating a plan as I spoke.</p><p>'All is fine Kat, do what you need to do , as soon as you feel comfortable to' Namjoon said as he was about to put his head under the shower head.</p><p>'Its a deal baby' I said as I just watched the water fall over his form and I fell even deeper .</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. 34 - Into the Shadows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING<br/>-VIOLENCE BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE<br/>-ANIMAL CRUELTY</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'You are sure about this plan , aren't you?' I said to Namjoon who was cradling my stomach whilst laid next to me.</p><p>'Yes baby......' He said, stretching the rest of his body and shaking his head slightly to move his newly black fringe out of his face.</p><p>'I'll do it today, whilst it's early ...less people about  and I need to make sure I get the important bits and ...well actually catch Yoongi' I replied cracking my own spine whilst I was sitting , and gently feeling Namjoon's fingers stroking my sides where his hands met .</p><p>'Oh we are going to need Tangerines...' I said with a small wry laugh.</p><p>Namjoon looked at me like I was a bit out of sorts this morning .</p><p>'You'll see why' I leaned down kissed and laughed at him , he didnt know what he was in for letting the little citrus robbing freak move in with him too.</p><p>'I would come with you if I could Jagi' He said as his started to place kisses on my hips.</p><p>'I know ....but after this , you wont have to worry as much' I said as I moved slightly as Goosebumps formed on my skin from the sensation of his lips meeting my hips and his arms embracing me more around my waist.</p><p>'Eat before you go baby' He said as he rested his head now on my legs and he let me run my fingers through his hair and twirl its length between my fingers.</p><p>His natural black hair was just as sexy as his bleach blonde locks, it matched his gorgeous honey skin and made his eyes shine like black diamonds . I could look at his all day , I just sort of hoped he could say the same about me , as right now I must have looked a state having not long woken up.</p><p>'I will but I am not eating your cooking ' I laughed as I drifted my hands round his hair and caressed the back of one of his ears with my fingers, resulting in his face smiling as if he was a purring kitten in my lap.</p><p> </p><p>'Toast......Do you...Do we have that here' I said </p><p>'Yes ....yes we do' He said his eyes still rolling under his eyelids as he melted in my lap further.</p><p>'Ok ...well....as much as I like the view from here, The longer I leave this ....' I sighed.</p><p>'Yes , Yes ...I know Jagi' He said reluctantly moving and letting my get out the bed , wearing just my underwear.</p><p>'Its too quiet Jagi' he said as I stretched and stood in the doorway.</p><p>'Well ...take my phone , find some music on it , open Spotify or something' I gestured with my hand , I had no issue him being in my phone, and half of me hoped he would open the camera roll....let's just say I had been practising a little treat for him.</p><p>I walked into the Kitchen area after using the bathroom and washing my hands afterwards .</p><p>'Oh dear god....make it stop' I heard him yell and laugh as a song erupted from the speakers of my phone and my face dropped in horror.</p><p>==SONG SUGGESTION - RICKY MARTIN FT CHRISTINA AGUILERA - NOBODY WANTS TO BE LONELY=======</p><p>I ran to the bedroom to try and save a shred of dignity knowing he found my guilty pleasure playlist .</p><p>'What the fuck....Jagi.......oh my ears.....don't let this kill me too' He laughed as he shook my phone in disgust and didnt stop the song and just continued to mock me.</p><p>'Ill have you know that was a banger when I was younger' I laughed at him in return.</p><p>'The one and only time I'll say this .....Jagi....you are showing your age ....badly!!' He laughed and erupting in hysterics .</p><p>'ASSHOLE!!' I said throwing some of his washed socks at him hoping I would knock him upside the head with them.</p><p>He just sat there half naked , laughing and trying to screech along to the lyrics , whilst I left him to his bedroom concert and just shook my head in the fashion I had become accustomed to and I smiled as made toast and every now and again grimaced at his high note attempts.</p><p>But the song , as cringe as it was , I listened to the words , and well .....I guess neither of us likes being lonely.</p><p>================================================================================ </p><p>The day was growing mature and I knew I had to get going.</p><p>I borrowed one of his hoodies, as I had already worn mine too much and it could be noticed ,and well , everything else of his would be too large for my 5ft 4 frame.</p><p>'Ill be back soon ' I said as I kissed him, not wanting to leave his arms .</p><p>'I'm with you , I'm by your side ' He said as he let his kiss penetrate me more , trying to stop me leaving maybe</p><p>'Ill send a message when I'm on my way back baby, this might take a while and I need to get Yoongi too' I said my hands holding onto his belt loops and in truth not wanting to leave either.</p><p>'Ill be waiting and Ill get the little turd what he wants too' He chuckled as he placed on final kiss on my lips and let me leave into the day.</p><p>I walked a long way round to my house, all the time looking through my sunglass and over my face mask at everything around me, making sure my steps where only mine.</p><p>I stopped for a short while and sat under the pier , wanting to ground myself and rid any doubts from my head , This was a little safe place, it was a place I connected to Namjoon and It was out of eyeshot of anyone or anything , and I just gathered myself before setting off again.</p><p>=============================================================================</p><p>=====SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - PLACEBO - RUNNING UP THAT HILL==========</p><p>I walked up my front steps , the day had grown darker as sea mist had followed the breeze into town and was now lacing the streets and dimming the natural night ,but hey I guess it worked in my favour, I could hide in the fog all the way back to Namjoon's.</p><p>I fiddled with my keys and opened the janky lock and walked into my apartment, the lights all off as I had been gone overnight , and I like my old routine , walked in and placed my bag on the bed and took off the hoodie and walked over the fridge for water , the light of the fridge illuminating my feet , The coldness hitting the back of my throat I had sorted my thirst and closed the door and was about to turn around for the lights, when two hands shot in front of my eyes making me jump.</p><p>Namjoon I remember had a way of surprising me like this, so after the initial heart stopping moment, I just gasped</p><p>'Thought I was going to do this alone baby' I said trying to play along.</p><p>'New Game ......kitty' The voice hissed into my ear , catching my ear lobe with its razor tongue .</p><p>I knew now it wasn't Namjoon , and I tried to scream, but these hands didnt let me , instead holding my mouth and throwing me onto my bed and leap on top of me pinning my arms and legs in place .</p><p>'Stop squirming little bitch ' Taehyung laughed as he pushed my limbs down into the mattress , trying to cover the screams now erupting from me.</p><p>'Tae!!.....NOOOO......HELLLLP....ME' I Screamed my throat almost seizing up in fear.</p><p>Taehyung was much bigger than me, not much smaller than Namjoon and he was demented , he just laughed and dug his knees into my thighs.</p><p>'Scream louder for me baby' he said as he laughed more and more his eyes blazing their way through me.</p><p>He moved one his legs and pushed his knee fast up in between my legs hitting my pelvic bone and making me wince.</p><p>'Just kill....kill me....'I gasped with tears forming from the pain of his movement </p><p>He reached his hands around and grabbed handfuls of my hair so tight I could almost feel blood falling , and my face contorted in pain and adrenaline , he pulled me close to his face, his saliva leaving the pools from the side of his mouth and falling onto my face whenever he spoke.</p><p>'I'm not gonna kill you bitch....but doesn't mean I cant batter this kitty around a bit ' He said his mouth so close to my own , my lips clenching shut, to stop any advance by him.</p><p>' Oh you don't wanna play' He said he moved his head back.</p><p>'One thing you forget about Kitty's........We scratch...FUCKER!!' I said as I wiped my hands up as fast as as I could with the adrenaline in my muscles helping all they could and I clawed his face as hard and as deep as I could with my finger nails, digging in as deep as I could so as to draw blood and hopefully damage his perverted eyes .</p><p>'AHHHHHHH FUCKING BITCH ' He screamed as he jumped up and fell back , clutching his face as my claw marks grew and the blood rushed to the surface.</p><p>I tried to take my chance and move, my legs not knowing what they where doing or which way they would go, but his adrenaline was greater than mine, he lept and grabbed me from behind , spinning me around trying to grab my throat, but he had that gun, the gun that Namjoon had told me about, poking out the back of his trousers.</p><p>I tried to grab it, I tried to use all my weight to keep him off balance, which only worked a bit , he had grabbed his gun before I could reach it and held it above his head, and my actions made us both fall backwards , the gun falling from his grasp and hurtling and falling behind my seats on the other side of the room.</p><p>'Now that wasn't NICE!!!!' He said as he grabbed a fist full of hair and laid a punch the other side of my face.</p><p>I rolled into the floor, my jaw feeling out of place and the blood filling my mouth and working its way down my throat , and the tears falling down my face.</p><p>'Nah nope...no you don't' Tae yelled at me as one of his feet volleyed into my stomach , and sent me rolling and the breathe escaping me.</p><p>This was it, I was convinced of it , This was going to be how I would go, I closed my eyes and tried to mouth the words me and Namjoon used , my air not allowing me to form words.</p><p>'Ah don't cry baby....' Tae said crouching down by me and finding amusement in my tears and my attempts to speak.</p><p>'Jungkook will make you beg much more .....until we get what we want' He purred, his hands fidgeting at his sides trying to figure out what to do next .</p><p>'NO.....nooo' I mouthed , the blood now cascading down the sides of my face.</p><p>'Namjoon.......hand him over......and the money and this all stops' Tae hissed as he grabbed my hair again.</p><p>I stayed resolute ,I may be about to die , but Namjoon wouldn't I wouldn't let it .</p><p>'Well ....well.....the bastard does love again I see.... ' Tae snarled and dropped my head hard on the floor, making stars form again in my vision.</p><p>'Well how about you.....what do you value..... ' He hissed again at me , as he got up and walked over and kicked a box , the box moved and screeching from within could be heard.</p><p>Oh my god , no....not ...it cant be .....He had Yoongi, he had caught him and I could hear him screaming inside the box not knowing what was going on.</p><p>'Yoon.....Yoon..gi....No' I said with some voice returning and I tried to reach my arm towards his direction, even though I could barely move.</p><p>'Ah little kittens....such play things ' He said as he walked towards me after taunting the box some more.</p><p>'How ....How ' I mouthed my voice cracking.</p><p>'Oh how did I find you ......well Kat...anyone can be bought ...and well a kind little old man bought a sob story and ......I've been watching in the shadows waiting for my time' He said as he stood over me , his legs placed one either side of me</p><p>'No ..'I said as I sobbed , feeling powerless as all mine and Namjoon's work had been for nothing at this point, Taehyung must have bribed the rather gullible Mr Min and found me in the process.</p><p>'Yes ...Yes .....and now bitch....we resume ........unless you give me Namjoon!!' He said crouching over me , too weak for me to fight right at this moment.</p><p>I just closed my eyes ' I'm with you , I'm by your side ' I mouthed as a I gasped swallowing my own blood.</p><p>'Bullshit ....big kitty first...' I heard Taehyung yell as a cascade of assault rained down on me , and I felt myself slip into the blackness, my mind screaming out to Namjoon and hearing Yoongi squeal in helplessness.</p><p>Goodbye ....if this is it ......I tried ....I tried for us baby and I don't regret it .</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>I felt like I was in a black hole, maybe this was what hell was like , or maybe this was like a waiting room to the next part, It was cold and alone for I don't know how long.</p><p>Light stung my eyes , voices echoed around me </p><p>'Miss ......stay still....Miss can you hear me ' A voice echoed as a light shone again in my eyes </p><p>'No......no' I tried to mutter.</p><p>'Victim is conscious, badly beaten but conscious, send an ambulance'  a kind male voice said as his face gained clarity in front of me .</p><p>'Ms Truva......is it ......Is this your ID' The face as as he tried to get my attention with my passport he must had found in my bag.</p><p>'Kat .....Kat me' I said my mouth ripped with pain.</p><p>'You've been attacked Ms Truva, your neighbours heard screaming and called us' the man in front of me said as he wiped my eyes to help me see better.</p><p>'Tae ...it was Tae ' I said as my pain grew the more conscious I felt.</p><p>I winced , crying in relief that I wasn't dead but in a slight sadness I wasn't out of the hell I was in.</p><p>'Miss ....Katalina...Try to stay calm.....we will get you to hospital, I can give you something for the pain if you, I think you may have some broken ribs ' He said as he held my hand to calm me .</p><p>I just cried , and cried, the emotion of the stress of all the shit flying out of me.</p><p>'The police will be at the hospital and I think Valiant will want to see this too' He said to his colleague who had come in with the first officer, his colleague gesturing behind him and both their faces inhaling with disgust at what they where seeing.</p><p> </p><p>'What....what's going on' I said as I cracked my mouth open and breathed and tried to get up.</p><p>'Miss ....Katalina.....You need to stay still please' The man said placing his hand on my shoulder and guiding me back down as His colleague moved a stretcher into place me on to get me out of here.</p><p>'I have your things miss .....I will bring them with us, I see your keys and phone are in here, I think I found a charge too for you ' He said as he grabbed some clothes for me and put them in a bag, trying to keep me calm and focused on him, this angel helping me in the darkness that was now flowing from outside.</p><p>My body was racked with pain that even the painkillers wasn't helping , and I was lifted on the stretcher, its wheels sticking, and that's when I saw it , the image that they had tried to obscure but I caught it before they could stand in front of me .</p><p>I just screamed, I screamed so hard that the whole room stopped and my eyes erupted into tears I never thought I could cry ever in my life.</p><p>Taehyung had taken to Yoongi second after he had finished with me , he had ended his assault and ended it with him before the police showed up and he fled, he had left his newer calling card.</p><p>Yoongi was there , pinned to the wall by my kitchen knives , every limb held up by a different knife and his life missing from his, his blood colouring the wall in the darkest sorrow , and green and black painted swiped across his bloated face.</p><p>Yoongi , I'm so sorry, You died because you knew me , you died screaming to protect me . </p><p>This isn't real .......Why , I just sobbed , my tiredness taking me once more as I was taken from my home and away from him for the final time.</p><p>Namjoon I need you, But I don't want them to find you.</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. 35 - Bright Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kat wakes up in hospital and has to answer questions, but which route will she take , she has one last thing to lose .<br/>but can she keep this all from Namjoon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When I came to , the lights burned my eyes , the stinging in my hands came next , and the clinical smells overwhelmed me.</p><p>I could hear this incessant beeping, and my face felt like it wasn't mine , as I tried to open my eyelids and felt them snap as a crusty element of sleep stuck to them.</p><p>'Miss Truva ......Miss Truva, I'm Dr Shen....you are in hospital, can you talk to me' a quiet older voice spoke to me , shining a light in my eyes and stirring me further .</p><p>'Yes I'm....wait where ' I said when his words resonated in my head and I remembered what had fallen in my thoughts before .</p><p>'In hospital Katalina, you were badly beaten at your home , and your neighbours heard screaming and they called the police who found you and you were brought here' The older doctor said to me .</p><p>'Doctor.....what......I'm in hospital....no ...NO!' I said starting to panic and wanted to get up and out of the bed , and away from here as this was not part of the plan, Tae found me once and he could find me again.</p><p>'Miss Truva, police are outside , you are safe , but you must rest , you sustained injuries and we need to make sure they are taken care of first ' Dr Shen soothed as he tried to calm me, albeit not fully understanding my panic.</p><p>'Injuries ...what Injuries ' I said , laying back down as my head spinned and I tried to hold it steady with my hand, only to feel the pull of a canula stabbing the vein.</p><p>'You probably have concussion as you received several blows to the head, you have a small fracture in your left orbital bone ....that's the one under your eye , but its minor and the swelling is low , but it will give you some pain.....you have two fractured ribs too...but overall you were very lucky, these will heal in time and don't need further intervention, and you have a badly bruised left wrist too, but with the other bruising, you must be made of tough stuff, you will be ok' Dr Shen told me.</p><p>'Lucky.....no.....I just want to go ' I said shaking my head , convinced Taehyung was waiting outside the door.</p><p>'Is there anyone I can call for you Miss Truva....any family.....a boyfriend...anyone ?' He said </p><p>'No ......no' I said, because as much as I wanted Namjoon with me , he was hidden and he would no doubt do the same for me.</p><p>'Well ok, please rest and we will see how you are this evening , I can't keep you against your will, but I want you to speak with those officers outside, let them help you' Dr Shen said as he placed a caring hand at my bed side .</p><p>I knew I didnt have a choice , I didnt know what to do next, What must Namjoon be thinking right now , how long have I been in here , oh my god Yoongi , my memories flooded back and I tried to hold back the tears as they pressured under my eyelids hurting the fracture I had.</p><p>A knock to the door stopped me in my tracks.</p><p>'Miss Truva may we come in.....I'm Detective Lee and this is Detective Hyun-Min , we want to speak to you' They said , their navy blue uniforms resonating under the strip lights above them.</p><p>I gently nodded knowing I had to get this over with, and knowing that I couldn't trust anyone, yet again I would have to put on a great performance, If I stood any hope of getting out of this hospital.</p><p>'Miss Truva , do you know what happened ' They said as they stood either side of my bed , as I pulled myself up to sitting, wincing as each new pain on my body made itself known.</p><p>'I was attacked....I came home after a day out....and I was attacked by some one who entered my house .....and they ....they killed my cat too' I said , trying not to meet their eyes , I didn't trust them and I knew they wouldn't help, they were as powerless as me .</p><p>'We think the assailant knew you' Detective Lee said he started writing in his notes.</p><p>'Knew me....why' I said dryly.</p><p>'Yes , there was no sign of forced entry, so he may have known how to get in' the detective continued.</p><p>'Detective....you know who did this , don't sugar coat anything for me , its insulting' I said showing I wasn't up for the cat and mouse style of questioning .</p><p>'His name was Kim Taehyung, you probably have heard of Jade Enigma, well he is part of that, and He paid me a visit ......he and his demented mind had a little fun' I said as I stared straight through the detectives , my anger too high to control.</p><p>'We know who he is ' The Detective said and his eyes rolling as he kept writing.</p><p>'I need you to tell someone exactly what happened, this could help us, if you are trying to hide someone , please tell them , this could help you, a girl like you doesn't need this' Detective Lee said as he gestured to the other Detective to leave.</p><p>This was odd, really fucking odd, where was the 20 questions, did they know Tae, where they going to let Jade Enigma know I was here, I mean what the actual fuck.</p><p>I just want to get out of here, I looked around the room trying to figure out my next plan, and I saw my bag to the side of my bed and holding my ribs, I slowly pulled the wheeled chair it was sitting on a little closer so I could find my phone, and prayed it was still intact.</p><p>as I reignited the screen, a fluffy of notifications hit the screen, all Namjoon, messages and missed calls , Oh god what on earth am I going to do, is he safe?, is he trying to find me ?</p><p>Another knock and a swift door open made me jump and like an instinct I thrust my phone under the blanket on top of me.</p><p>'Miss Katalina Truva , I'm Agent Choi , Valiant ' He said as he showed me a bag styled much like the more famous FBI of America.</p><p>These where the guys in the paper, the ones Namjoon told me about, the ones who had tried to catch Jade Enigma and had failed spectacular.</p><p>'Fine' I said as I sat and tried to ease my phone further under me.</p><p>'I think you know why I am here ' Agent Choi , continued .</p><p>I just nodded and held the blanket higher on myself , maybe to give myself a feeling of security.</p><p>' It isn't often we get to speak to a conscious victim of Jade Enigma and we need your help ' He said as he pulled a chair and sat alongside my bed.</p><p>'I'm no victim' I said back dryly.</p><p>'Kim Taehyung, this his work' The agent asked as he motioned his hand up and down</p><p>I just nodded.</p><p>'Do you know where he is ' He responded </p><p>'No and doesn't look like you knew either , or this wouldn't have happened' I snapped back , my brow furrowing and stinging from the bruising lower down.</p><p>'Miss ...you should know it isn't that simple, we have to try and get all the pieces or it doesn't work' He said , his face showing he wasn't telling me everything </p><p>'Who are you protecting ' He continued.</p><p>'Myself ' I said , my soul resolute in keeping Namjoon's name out of this .</p><p>'Miss Truva ...please' He sensing something was off.</p><p>'Just myself....I pissed that fucker off in the club I worked in and well he returned the favour' I said as I tried to think on my feet about what to say next.</p><p>'My superior wants to help you, the trouble, any trouble you may be in, we can protect you if you let us ' He said trying to reason with me.</p><p>'No thanks .......I only have me, Ill just move on' I said my eyes probably telling the fact that the words coming out of my mouth weren't real.</p><p>'Please Miss Truva , help us to stop this' he said trying to plead with me.</p><p>I just stared at him, my pain growing but I was going to protect the last thing I had , Namjoon, and I would deal with him next.</p><p>'Well Miss Truva , they are not going to stop, they have already hit BANGS bar and Dark HOPE overnight , so I really think you need to search in yourself and help us ' He said as he rose up to leave, and closed the door behind him and I could hear him talk to others behind the door.</p><p>Wait what....the club and bar, they got hit too....oh my god , Namjoon......I panicked and picked up my phone, my tear ducts stinging with nerves.</p><p> </p><p>========SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - THOM YORKE - HEARING DAMAGE=========</p><p>I could barely see the buttons and hit the answer my mistake , and his voice erupted through the ear piece.</p><p>'Kat ...baby...where the fuck are you......'He yelled his voice more terrified than I ever heard it.</p><p>'I'm ok....I'm ummm, I'm with Jessi ' I said as I lied through my teeth.</p><p>'Kat I went to yours and what the fuck happened there is police tape everywhere , I couldn't get in there , too many cops ....I thought.....Shit I thought you were dead baby' He said and I could hear the upset in his voice and almost hear tears fall down his face.</p><p>'Yeah ...Umm Jessi ...she let me stay with her , I know the club was attacked and the bar and I called her ' I kept lying, hoping he bought it .</p><p>'Baby...' he said softly almost pulling the rug I was frailly sitting on , I wanted his arms wrapped around me , I wanted to cry into his chest, I wanted him to take the pain away but I couldn't.</p><p>A tannoy broke my thoughts, A tannoy that gave the game away </p><p>'Dr Shen to Emergency Bay 7 , Dr Shen , Trauma coming in' It screeched .</p><p>'Baby....NO!!' Namjoon yelled as his voice hit my eardrum like a bullet through the phone.</p><p>'Joon...please stay away.....please don't let them' I said as I couldn't control my sobs.</p><p>'You are in the hospital .......baby ...fuck.....what happened....' Namjoon pleaded with me , his voice cracking with his fear.</p><p>'Baby please trust me , It's to keep you safe, I wont let them have you too' I said almost embracing the phone as I fell into myself.</p><p>'They did this....Jagi.....what did they do to you' Namjoon said his voice shaking and his fury could almost be spelt in every breath</p><p>'He killed Yoongi ......I tried to stop him' I sobbed letting the flood gates open</p><p>'I will FUCKING KILL THEM BOTH!!' Namjoon screamed down the phone , his anger making him too far gone.</p><p>' Please.....please ...baby...for me ........trust me ......I can't lose you too ' I managed to get out .</p><p>'Stay there ....I'm coming....I'm coming for you' He said and he put the phone down.</p><p>Oh god, No this can't be happening, he can't come here , they will find him and take him from me. </p><p>I just laid back trying to stop myself hyperventilating , I knew I was hours away from his , I was at Bangwool Hospital , at least 3 hours away , it was the closest hospital to the me and It had everything and it took ages to get here by conventional traffic . I had once needed a shot and some stitches for a cut I got when I smashed a crate of wine on accident.</p><p>I wanted everything to stop, I wanted to just disappear back in the darkness with him and now here he was running through the battle ground to get to me. I pray that he is careful, I pray to anything that could listen to me right now .</p><p>I messaged him, knowing he wouldn't answer.</p><p>4.55pm</p><p>KAT: I Know I can't stop you , but please be careful , Use Joe if you need to, the police are here and Valiant was here , I didnt tell them anything other than Tae's name.</p><p>I kept typing....</p><p>'Please baby, don't do anything stupid, I'm by your side, please just remember I am with you and you with my until we survive, but I need you alive, we will get out of this hospital tonight and go back home. Please Joon. xx</p><p>I put my phone down , pressing the buzzer for the nurse, if I was going to get out of here I needed to lie and say I was feeling ok.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>I think it worked the rouse I laced to the doctors did the job, and I gave the Jessi's address as mine, I needed to so they didn't ask any questions and even though they pleaded with me to stay, I didnt want to .</p><p>I explained , laying as much fake story I could as the police and Valiant left, that a Close friend called Joe Wang was coming to pick me up and to just let him in.</p><p>I was clutching at anything I could , I needed to try and I yearned to be somewhere safe with Namjoon.</p><p>I tried to rest , but kept looking at the clock growing more anxious the more time that went by until I heard his voice in the hall' Joe Wang for Kat Truva , I'm her friend' and a flurry of foot steps, and the door swinging open.</p><p>He was masked and in plain clothes , his black hair protruding out the top of his hood and under a beanie .</p><p>His eyes met mine, his mask pulled down and his lips shaking, eyes  puffy and I knew he had been crying.</p><p>He saw my face, the bruises and the cuts and his legs almost gave way and he shaked as he rushed forward to catch me in his arms in an embrace and I littered tears over the sleeves of his hoodie and held the fabric firm in my blood stained fingers and I breathed him in , as much as I could </p><p>He shook, whether it was upset or anger I don't know.</p><p>'Its ....my fault....baby' He said holding my tighter causing me to wince.</p><p>'Stop saying that ' I said as I wiped my nose on his sleeve, as he then took my face in his hands his mournful eyes surveying the injuries I had .</p><p>'They were looking for me ' he said his eyes onyx black and his tears falling like small rivers as he continued to shake.</p><p>' They were looking for both of us ......there is no you...or me anymore' I said trying to pull my face away from his grasp.</p><p>'I'm the one that's supposed to die ....not you!!' He said shaking his head.</p><p>'Joon...stop fucking saying that.......' I begged as I sat up more , as if I was going to get up and stop him from wearing a hole in the floor below his paces.</p><p>'I am with you, I am by your side, I am not leaving....and last night ........I kept my promise....Tae doesn't know' I said trying not to scream at him and alert security to come to my room.</p><p>'I lose everything ...I always do' He said as he shook and tried to steady his head in his hands.</p><p>'I'm still here , You know me.....Tough doesn't cut it ' I said softly as I tried to catch his arms with my hand.</p><p>'I just want to go home .....our home....maybe the only place we have left ' I begged to him softly as I pulled him into me , to try and get him to agree with me .</p><p>'Besides...you should listen to your elders once in a while' I joked, catching his gaze.</p><p>'But....but Tae did this to you....what ...what hurts baby' He said taking my face in his hands again, and his thumbs trying to graze my bruised face.</p><p>'A small break here ' I said taking his index finger and holding it above my left lower eyelid.</p><p>'A few small fractured ribs ' I said guiding his hand down to the spot too.</p><p>'And bruising......but Joon ...feel .....I'm still here ....and I promise you we will win this.....one way or another ....' I said as I placed his palm flat against my heart .</p><p>'We fight ' He breathed to me</p><p>'Every day of our lives , for as long as they are ours' I said </p><p>'Yes Jagi.....damn ....I hate when you are right ' He said gently hugging me , even if I didn't fully believe him.</p><p>The night moved on and after collecting some painkillers, we left the hospital against the doctors advice , and Namjoon got me home, some how he did and we fell asleep in his trailer, both of us silently praying this would still be the one place we had left.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. 36 - You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two sets of people, sharing a set of a days in different ways .</p><p>This is where we start to see the groundwork for the final chapters laid and the chapters that follow will be long as there is alot of stuff to cover and it will twist and turn right up until the end.</p><p>We get to see great interaction between Taehyung and Jungkook in this chapter.</p><p>I felt inspired to create Taehyungs character on characteristics and behaviours from one of my favourite movies , Dusk Til Dawn(1996) both the dynamic between Jungkook and Taehyung was a little inspired by that of Seth and Richie Gecko in this movie, and I wanted to try and capture that atmosphere a little bit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We made it home, and I don't remember most of it, The drugs the hospital gave me did what they were supposed to do.</p><p>I just clung to Namjoon as much as I could and he took my weight as much as he could, with care and tenderness to not make me hurt anymore.</p><p>He called in a favour, which made me worry, but I didnt let on, I trusted him, even if the most recent events showed we were never safe.</p><p>Namjoon had called Jackson, who met us away from the hospital and we hide out in the back of his delivery van, Namjoon holding my injured body between his thighs and hugging me and kissing my head lightly whenever I winced in pain.</p><p>He whispered the words he had worked on into my ears , helping me drift in and out of sleep. He was my security blanket, and Jackson our navigator.</p><p>Jackson seemed nice, a Chinese guy that Namjoon had met a while ago , and he got food from in exchange for a few errands. Jackson didn't ask question which helped and it let Namjoon do what he needed to do. You could feel the honesty come from Jackson and his kindness at helping us no questions asked spoke volumes.</p><p>We agreed that we would be to do the last part of the journey alone, we couldn't be followed or allow Jackson to be dragged into this too, and we just stayed in each others arms watching the lights coming through the windshield and dancing on the vans ceiling above us and the gentle hum of the radio over the sound of the engine taking us as close to home as we had agreed.</p><p>Jackson had pulled up in a lay by just an hours walk from our home , and let us sleep before the sun rose and woke us both gently.</p><p>'Happy Birthday Jagi' I felt a sweet whisper in my ear, and a kiss on my lips as Namjoon gently woke me before we had to move , and he wrapped another jumper around me.</p><p>'Thank you baby' I said kissing him gently back being careful not to aggravate the bruising on my face.</p><p>I had never planned to celebrate my birthday, we had agreed not to, I never thought I would be feeling like this the day I turned 35, but his kiss and his arms around me and his protective embrace were my gift and he was the present that I would always need.</p><p>'We are here guys, Please Namjoon keep safe brother' Jackson said , shaking Namjoon's hand and embracing him in a gentle bro hug, and then smiling affectionately at me and letting us both go, I felt his smile and I knew he was a good guy</p><p>Namjoon and I set off on foot over the last part of our journey, and It hurt, every step it hurt, and Namjoon would take my pain as much as he could and would always spur me on telling me I could do it and I could make it home.</p><p>He would tell me about what he planned to do when we went to London and I would laugh and agree , knowing full well it would never happen, but right now dreaming is the only thing that can't hurt us.</p><p>He looked guilty the whole time, I know he felt deep down that my assault was his fault, but I tried to tell him it wasn't.</p><p>Taehyung was a sick bastard and whatever he wanted he would have got with out without Namjoon's involvement and It was ok as I was alive and we would figure this out, even if in truth we didn't have a bloody clue.</p><p>We got home, and I was barely walking, and once we got into the safety of the junkyard after creeping through the silent town that was almost ghost like and charred from the crimes that had taken place whilst we were away, Namjoon lifted me into his arms.</p><p>'I've got you Baby, I'm with you' He soothed as I cried in his arms trying to hide my pain, as I couldn't walk anymore and the painkillers had worn off some time ago.</p><p>He took me inside and laid me in his bed and curled himself around my front and just held me delicately as I cried , letting out everything that had gone on the past few days.</p><p>'How are we going to do this' I said trying to wipe my nose on the sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing , It was Namjoon's and miles too big for me.</p><p>'Shhh Jagi....Sleep....we will do this tomorrow....My girl can't cry on her birthday anymore' He soothed gently holding my chin and pursing his lips to give me a kiss once more.</p><p>'Shut up' I laughed .</p><p>'We will do cake another time....you can still blow out my candle' he said winking at me, and making me laugh to break the tension.</p><p>He always knew how to make me feel a little better.</p><p>We weren't going to survive this surely, we are both going to die I just thought over and over in my head , but right now , I just want to be in his arms , this is heaven within the hell.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - PASS OUT - NITTI GRITTI ,GAEKU, KAKU</p><p>'WHAT THE FUCK TAEHYUNG!!!!' Jungkook screamed over and over again in desperation for an answer as he lept and grabbed Taehyung by the throat forcing him back into a bookshelf at the back of the main floor of the den and causing various items to fall off and smash on the floor.</p><p>'LET ME THE FUCK GO' Taehyung yelled back , foaming at the mouth and looking completely insulted that Jungkook had just done that. He had only done what he was told, he was told to do whatever he wanted and felt like he was scolded child right now.</p><p>Both looked ready to kill each other and their breathes heaved in front of them and both stood clenching their fists and their eyes razor sharp and glued to each other. Both mirrored each other, both where inseparable and sick in their own behaviours but even both of them had their own standards which didnt always line up with each others.</p><p>'When......when....did I ever tell you ....to touch that bitch...what the fuck possessed you!!' Jungkook said raising his hand wanting to know and answer, but knowing he wouldn't get an honest one, he hadn't in years.</p><p>'You told me to do what I wanted!! and Hyung that Bitch.....she has pushed her luck for a long time.....and I found her.....Yes Jungkook ....I found her....she was squatting in a little room from a kind old man.....who just loves money too. ' Taehyung said sternly trying to reposition his jacket that Jungkook had pulled up when attacking him.</p><p>'I didnt want you to touch her at all.....she is the prize .....we get her ....we use her and we get Namjoon.....that's the way IT FUCKING WORKS!!!' Jungkook screamed and rolled his eyes after seeing that it just wasn't going into Taehyungs deluded head .</p><p>'Hyung....I didn't......I didnt touch her like that......She was asking for it ....but I didnt....that's your job! ' Taehyung said as if he was trying to plead slightly, he knew had overstepped the mark, and he is glad he didnt run away with the thoughts he had had in his head that night.</p><p>'I just sent a message, I battered both kitties , They need to know their place....she has a mouth on her and I made her shut it!' Tae continued as he paced up to a bemused Jungkook now rubbing the bridge of his nose with the thumb and index finger of one of his hands, totally bewildered as to how gone in the head Taehyung was.</p><p>'You killed the cat.....you stabbed the cat into the fucking wall .....sick bastard.....I don't know with you sometimes....fucking sick....' Jungkook said as he laughed as he could do nothing else.</p><p>'Why not.....we've killed a lot of things....you know this about me ....we paint....we paint with them...' Taehyung said looking eager for approval, and sensing he maybe had done something wrong.</p><p>'Yes ...Yes....but why beat the girl........she knows you and she could talk.....she was mine Tae....it was my job to make her scream when the time came ...but you, why beat the shit out of the girl.....she is easy...she is with Namjoon for fuck sake !!' Jungkook continued.</p><p>'But but.....'Taehyung just pursed towards Jungkook wanting approval for his actions and that he hadn't done wrong in almost killing Katalina that night .</p><p>'We are ahead here Tae, we have everything we could want, and I needed you that night.......the bar and the club, you and I protect each other ....I needed you to have my back brother and We are safe from those fucking vultures called Valiant if we are together' He said walking up to Taehyung and placing his hands either side of his face to steady his gaze.</p><p>Jungkook was too used to dealing with Taehyung, he knew he was fucked , he knew he wasn't on this planet and he was a stroke of demented evil.</p><p>Jungkook knew as a person that he was Evil , but he was Evil with purpose, he wanted revenge for this father and he wanted to be bigger and better than his father ever was .</p><p>He could leave Taehyung , they had been stuck together for almost 18 years now , ever since Jungkook had found Taehyung trying to beat some pigeons to death at the back of the school playground with rocks and naming them as he did it .</p><p>No one really befriend Jungkook and he took pity on Taehyung all those years ago, He was an only child and lived in a chaotic crime filled house hold which seemed perfectly normal to him, but on a strange level he fell into the big brother with Taehyung , even though he was barely a year older than him, he was both a blessing and a burden over all the years that passed, and he knew Taehyung would do anything and he would take the fall without question.</p><p>'Ok .....Ok you didnt break the big Kat, we will still find the bitch and I will have her moaning my name before this is all over......no doubt Namjoon is hiding her ....but its ok...we will still find them both' He said to Taehyungs face which was now nodding and giggling at its own inner voices.</p><p>'we are so close Taehyung, Namjoon ...the money ....we will get my father out ....we will have it all, but you have to stay with it , listen to me and don't do that again unless I ask you to' Jungkook gently said as he brought Taehyung down.</p><p>He gently slapped Tae's face to bring him back to reality who began to roll his eyes under his eyelids almost orgasmic at the feeling of Jungkook's hands on his cheeks and he felt satisfied in the pit of his stomach that he wasn't in trouble, his grovelling always seemed to work and gave him a twitch in his dick every time he got approval. </p><p>'We keep going , we burn it all down , we kill that bastard Namjoon.....last and final.....yes brother?' Jungkook posed.</p><p>'All the pretty colours ......We will make a masterpiece Hyung' Taehyung said as he hugged his brother in most senses of the word  and walked off to join the others outside.</p><p>'Fucking idiot.......sick fucking idiot !' Jungkook said under his breath as he shook his head and cracked his neck and just let his brain spin on exactly how to finally get rid of Namjoon and hopefully Taehyung too .</p><p>============================================================================</p><p>Weeks passed and the bruises faded and the breaks healed ,we didnt leave the trailer more than 2 or 3 times , and only when it was to get food , Namjoon sought food from Jackson and Jackson helped where he could.</p><p>We spent night after night, listening the sounds around us, one of us always awake whilst the other slept , in case we where found.</p><p>Namjoon was on a mission, he was trying to piece this together , he wanted to try and control the future, even if it was futile and he just wanted to try and stop our world spinning .</p><p>We would talk about London, that little make believe plan, our little day in the sun we called it, where we could be normal.</p><p>Namjoon had told me several times in the past he was going to die young he felt it , and I think I finally convinced him he wouldn't.</p><p>Taehyung had had the chance to kill me and he didnt, he had a gun and he didnt use it , and Namjoon was around this town a lot longer than I was, I know that we will make it , I am not going to let him give up or exchange himself for me , this shit just doesn't work like this.</p><p>We passed the time in our usual way , we wrapped our souls around each other by joining our flesh once the pains in me had eased.</p><p>He was my healer , the plaster that held the breaks together, the arms that held me when I screamed and shook in my sleep as the nightmares ravaged my mind as Yoongi's demise had been burned into my eyes that night .</p><p>I would watch him sleep, passing the time by counting the hairs on his head and assigning a reason why he was my everything to every single one of them.</p><p>I would lightly trace my fingers across his scars whilst he slept being careful not to wake him , I would apologise to his skin that he had to endure pain for whatever caused them, even though he had admitted some where his own doing because he just had so much lose in his life.</p><p>We had survived this long and a part of me was happy to stay like this forever , even if the tide around us was burning.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>The summer had come back around again and with it the first rain storms varying in their ferocity , and I had hope they would wash away the evil in all areas of this town that was swarming around us.</p><p>It had been a few weeks and I had mostly healed and I was safe with Namjoon , but time was running out and we both could feel it.</p><p>One day in particular I could feel my breath burning in the summer heat, my sweat evaporating on production, but the rain was relentless and hammered away like a troop of angry dancers on the roof of the trailer.</p><p>I sat out on the porch, wearing just a crop top and cotton shorts, my hair stuck the the sweat of my back and my legs aching from the heat.</p><p>I watched the rain bathe Namjoon's garden and It swirling down the make shift guttering from the roof .</p><p>I watched it bounce as the strength of the rain changed, taking pictures I could with my phone, but the date caught my eye and I just grinned and felt an urge to go and stand in the rain even though I didnt have many of my own clothes, Namjoon had managed to get to my old home and salvage what he could, but it was too dangerous to stay there too long.</p><p>I stood up and swept my toes in the dust that had blown in from the beach close by and was littered on his wooden porch.</p><p>Namjoon was asleep at his writing desk and he looked so peaceful and beautiful that I didnt want to disturb him.</p><p>'I met you one year ago today baby' I said looking over my shoulder and smiling wishing I could see his dreams at this moment.</p><p>It had been a hell of a year but I didn't have any regrets now , through everything we had each other , for however long it lasts. We had tried to keep each other as just casual fucks by using a drug high but we fell deeper and deeper and I found myself willing to do anything for this sleeping honey skinned dork that was now my every other breath.</p><p>I had no regrets about the situation we were in, this is Namjoon's fault and he is the first person , maybe in forever to allow me to feel and I feel it back in return. He had taught me lessons I thought I could never learn.</p><p>I stepped into the rain when it had eased slightly, so it wouldn't sting my skin upon impact, I just let it soak me ,and I danced around in the dirt of his garden, letting any stress go and just feeling the water wash away any bad thoughts I had .</p><p>I lifted my head up , and laughed remembering Namjoon doing the same on that fateful evening and I felt alive , maybe for the first time in a while.</p><p>I laughed and laughed , and it just fell out of me, and the sound of the rain was loud enough to mask it to anyone who didnt recognise it .</p><p>I was soaked through to the bone but didnt care, I kept spinning and dancing around , much like a kid who found the greatest puddles, only stopping and stumbling briefly when I noticed Namjoon standing in the patio sliding door , his arms crossed across his naked chest and one hand to his chin with his index finger gently rubbing his dimples.</p><p>'Don't knock it until you've tried it ' I said half spitting out some water making it spray and shaking my wet hair out of my face.</p><p>'You'll catch your death Jagi' he laughed back slowly stepping out onto the porch.</p><p>'Better than death catching us' I said as I continued to dance and my eyes inviting him to join me.</p><p>'What's got you so happy in this baby' He said as he leaned against one the wooden beams holding the patio roof up, his chest moving as his moved and it catching my gaze.</p><p>'You' I said walking up to him, holding my hands out for him to join me </p><p>SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - YOU ARE - KINNA GRANNIS, IMAGINARY FUTURE.</p><p>Namjoon took steps and held by hands, slightly flinching as the rain grew heavier.</p><p>'Listen baby, you cant hear the hell outside over this ' I said as I held his hands and pulled him close to me , the rain washing through his dark locks and snaking down his body from forehead to cheekbones, to rippling in his dimples, to snaking down his neck and over his bare breasts , and down the grooves of his abs.</p><p>'You sure you are ok' He laughed as he placed his hands around my waist and his eyes glowed with affection.</p><p>'Its today baby, you changed me one year ago today' I said placing my palms on his wet abs and moving my thumbs to sooth both of us .</p><p>His face just looked down at me and his happiness broke through and he gave into our little paradise in the rain .</p><p>'One year .......and we are still here ' He said, as his hands had now worked their way intricately up my body and to my shoulders where he was toying with the thin straps of my crop top.</p><p>'Told you I would be by your side until you survive.....and we will keep doing that' I said half expecting a smile and a laugh when I used his own words against him.</p><p>Instead he pulled me into him and placed his lips on mine, half drinking the water falling down both of us , his stomach meeting mine and his kiss so deep it made me stand on my toes and go weak at the knees with every movement of his tongue against mine.</p><p>He was praying into me with his kiss, and we where baptised from the hell around us with the water from the sky.</p><p>I traced his spine with my nails , delicately lacing the water up and down and feeling him quiver under my touch.</p><p>I could stay in this moment forever, our sins had gone and forgotten.</p><p>He lifted me onto his hips , guiding my legs around him as he walked me into the porch and sat down and a large wicker chair resting against the porch door.</p><p>He guided his silky palms up my damp exterior and removed my crop top and laid his claim to my throat with his kisses decorating my skin.</p><p>He was tender, every touch delicate and as beautiful as the last, a much different affair to the alleyway where we had been thrust together in the heat of passion.</p><p>He stirred under me , his hips bucking into mine as his thirst grew.</p><p>I had never felt like this, never felt this complete, never wanted a moment more.</p><p>He worked my clothes off and had me naked on top of him praying with my skin against his , he had worked his own clothes off , his mouth now enveloping my breast and caressing my heart with his tongue and softest lips and his whispers of korean words against my heart.</p><p>He was my heart beat, I felt him everywhere, We were naked and together under the rain and our adoring words kept private to just us as we where dulled in sound by the rain , as we moved closer and closer.</p><p>His hands grasping my thighs and my hands laced in his ebony locks of hair , he glided into me filling me with every inch that I could never be without , he was soft and deep and I felt every pulse of him in me , I moaned in unison with him, my lips thanking his as we climbed the tide of our orgasms together, He hit my soul with his skin in mine , I never wanted it to end .</p><p>Our wetness fusing the moment and our exhaustion bringing us spilling over , I lay on top of him, almost wanting to cry the happiest tears I ever could onto his shoulder, that I had decorated with the softness purple marks as he had thrusted into me.</p><p>I held his face and our foreheads just held their place together and our breaths married each others in completion.</p><p>Heaven was real .....we had finally found it .</p><p>===========================================================================</p><p>Namjoon's perspective </p><p>Namjoon sat with a sleeping Kat on his lap, both naked under the throw that was over the back of this chair, he had carefully covered them both after the waves of sex with each other had fulfilled them.</p><p>He felt complete , he felt like all the fear he carried for so long had left him, he was holding his own soul in his lap and he felt Kat breathe and dream with her head against his chest , and he cherished every moment , she was all he had ever wanted in life and he felt it deep in him.</p><p>The rain eased and the day grew into night , and the temperature dropped lower, Namjoon held her close , just like he always wanted to , keeping her safe as much as he could.</p><p>Namjoon slowly took to his feet with Kat in his arms and walked her carefully in his embrace to his bed where he gently laid her down and covered her with his bedsheets , his hands gently following the shape of her figure over the blanket .</p><p>His eyes observed the beauty he had , he felt like he had won every battle he had ever faced and anymore that where still to come.</p><p>'I love you Katalina......' He spoke , the words coming out for the first time, and a tear coming out of his gaze as his hands rested on her face so slightly, his throat hitching with emotion and its first time saying those words out loud for a while, and smile breaking through and catching the tear in a dimple with gratitude when it did.</p><p>'I love you .......my baby.....always ' He whispered once more to her as she slept.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. 37 -Trip the Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finally the tide reaches them....they have very little time to decide.<br/>here it goes</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days fold into one another when you have nothing to fill them , especially when you are sitting waiting for whatever happens next.</p><p>The town was a ghost town, growing more empty with every sun rise , and the sounds of destruction haunting the air at night</p><p>we had a close call a few nights ago when one of the thugs of Jade Enigma almost got in the junkyard and even though we hide in plain sight there , it was too close .</p><p>One thing I hadn't known in the whole time I had been at Namjoon's is that there was a crawl space under the trailer, designed to stop flooding so that would flood first and not his house should the tide ever push into the town .</p><p>We had to hide there , and I clung to Namjoon the whole time, stilling my breath and praying we wouldn't be found , I felt safe in his arms , laying in the darkness and the dirt, his firm grasp holding me close. We laid there for hours until the sounds passed and crawled out.</p><p>Both looking at each other we knew that we couldn't admit to each other that was too close and our hands might be forced without warning.</p><p>===============================================================================</p><p>One evening , I sat on the back porch, hair wet from the shower I had taken wearing one of Namjoon's long t-shirts, with a half smile on my face thinking about how I was wrapped round Namjoon in that shower.</p><p>I felt unsteady in my stomach and had for a few days , we hadn't eaten well in a few days as it had been harder for Jackson to get to us without getting caught up in the hell outside.</p><p>The summer breeze seemed innocent and I let it blow over me , whilst a million thoughts danced in my mind , I didnt want to leave here , I wanted to stay with Namjoon, I wanted us to get through this just like we had planned , I wanted us to reach London, even though it was a city filled with the nightmares of my past.</p><p>I just couldn't decide what we had to do, I guess in part I wanted Namjoon to make a choice.</p><p>He must read my mind sometimes, as I hear the porch door slide open and his soft footsteps come towards me and I feel his weight sit down behind me and his bare chest and stomach against my back, his wet hair dripping down his face and onto the fabric on my shoulders.</p><p>'My girl' He said as he wrapped his arms around me , and encased me in his long muscular legs.</p><p>'Always ' I said as I leaned my head back and rest my head against his collarbone, he swept my hair to one side with his hands and kissed my neck deep causing me to moan in satisfaction.</p><p>'What's wrong Jagi...you are tense' He softly spoke into my ear and placed his hands on my shoulders and gently massaged them.</p><p>'Joon I just climbed you like a tree.....I'm fine ' I said , knowing full well I was lying about how I felt , even if our sex was as great as ever.</p><p>'Jagi ....I know you ....what's on your mind' He said not buying my lies.</p><p>'What do we do we do Joon, I don't know what's best....the other day was too close' I said , as my stomach tightened again.</p><p>'I know baby......I know ......we are running out of options ' He said with a sigh and rested his chin in the nook of my neck.</p><p>'If we leave this follows us , and I don't want to run for the rest of our lives, but if we stay that could be it ' I said unsteady and just holding his hands in mind as they where now in front of me again.</p><p>' Now do you believe me when I say I'm not supposed to outrun this ' He said as he squeezed me tightly.</p><p>'I've already told you I don't believe that, its bullshit ......we decide our fate surely' I said , I hated hearing him sound like he accepted his ending sometimes, a persons end is surely mostly in their hands, at least that's what I always thought.</p><p>'you hearing from anyone ' Namjoon said , whilst rubbing the nub of his nose along the back of my neck , soothing like a little kitten wanting warmth.</p><p>'Jessi....she messages me sometimes, I cant reach Hobi...I really hope he is ok....he seemed too nice and he helped me ' I said as I curled my neck round to look at him.</p><p>'I hear from Jackson, but he says its bad out there , Police and Valiant ...its like trying to piss on a bonfire 'Namjoon said with sadness in his eyes .</p><p>'London seems so far away hey ...' I joked .</p><p>'London is in our hearts Jagi, we have made that day in the sun in us , even if we don't get there, its in our fantasies' He soothed as he placed kisses on my cheeks as I had now turned so I was in his lap, my head to his chest , listening to his heartbeat.</p><p>'You like doing that ' He joked as he felt me slightly humming along to his pulse.</p><p>'You noticed.....well if I feel it ...then its real' I said as I placed my other hand on his other bare breast and kissed the one I had been leaning on.</p><p>His eyes fluttered and a smile broke from his face.</p><p>'If you keep doing that ....we will ....need....need a shower again' He stuttered.</p><p>' Promise' I laughed.</p><p>'When the time is right we will know Jagi, and we will know how to leave this ,and we will follow our instinct.....I guess that's the right thing ....its all we can do right now ' he said , growing tense.</p><p>'I'm with you...by your side' I said as I leaned back against him, my anchor , my tether and we sat together as the sun sunk below the horizon again and the sound crept back around us .</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>A few more nights passed , we slept when we could , and even broke our pact of one asleep and one awake as everything spinning made our minds tired.</p><p>My sleep was broken one night , my phone buzzing and dancing on Namjoon's thick oak dresser.</p><p>I barely got any texts since living with Namjoon as he was filling my ears and body with his intentions now instead of my inbox , and this phone like his , was a burner phone, paid with top up credit on a sim that could be easily destroyed if I needed to get lost.</p><p>The signal had also become temperamental , but like the electricity around here, I am guessing that it could be the heat cooking everything.</p><p>I got up and fetched my phone.........and sat back down next to Namjoon, sleeping but snoring, which always made me smile, he looked so dorky, his mouth wide open like he was catching flies.</p><p>It was Jessi, several messages from her.</p><p>MESSAGES-  </p><p>JESSI-CLUB 3.22AM</p><p>Unnie....tell me its not true .</p><p>JESSI - CLUB 3.31am</p><p>Girl are you ok......what has Joe done</p><p>JESSI- CLUB 3.42AM</p><p>KAT! you are both wanted!!</p><p>my eyes spotted a link at the bottom of her message, what was she tripping about and why this time of the morning, it was almost 6am now and I needed to know what she meant.</p><p>I shook the bed as I read, the shock coursing through me and making Namjoon stir at my side.</p><p>'PARK NAMJOON AND KATALINA TRUVA  - WANTED  - FOR INVOLVEMENT IN JADE ENIGMA ' It read with all our details below , including an old photo of him and a picture of me from a long lost facebook profile.</p><p>'NOOOOOOO' I yelled throwing the phone at the foot of the bed, I could feel the panic rise in my and the panic woke Namjoon , who wide eyed sat up and grabbed hold of me as I tried to breathe slower.</p><p>'Jagi......Jagi ....baby ....babe...whats wrong' he said sleep still fresh in his eyes.</p><p>'Theyve got us Joon....they've set us up' I said clinging to him and crying and clenching my fists into his back not wanting to let go.</p><p>'Did you have another nightmare baby' He said more awake and his warm hands cradling my face.</p><p>'No this ...this is real...my phone' I sobbed and pointed.</p><p>He reached on hand and opened the page, his eyes meeting the same thing I had read, and he read it all , when I couldn't.</p><p>'Baby.....I .....I.....' He stuttered , not knowing what to do.</p><p>'They think we are part of that!!' I said my voice cracking in shock.</p><p>'They ....They have our names....They have your birth name .....Park Namjoon....why' I said , not being able to control the panic.</p><p>Namjoon held my hands and told me to breathe, we both knew we had no choices left now and my panic showed that.</p><p>===================SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION  - LACUNA COIL - TRIP THE DARKNESS===========</p><p>He calmed me, the same way he always knew how to, he was always my safe place.</p><p>We composed ourselves and went into the living room , both drinking a cold coffee to still our nerves , both thinking something would come crashing through the front door.</p><p>He powered up his laptop, a machine he despised mostly, as he preferred paper, but it was necessary evil when trying to hide from the world.</p><p>He punched in the web address link Jessi had sent me , his eyes showing the realisation we didnt speak out loud.</p><p>'Baby.....Jagi.....'He stuttered.</p><p>'Its an evacuation order .....' he said his hands rubbing the side of his face in disbelief.</p><p>'Wait....what....an evacuation order....that wasn't there before' I said standing up sharply and walking over to him to see.</p><p>'Starting 7th July , All residents are ordered to evacuate the town and subsidiary areas in 72 hours, check points will be enforced around the exit routes and vehicles searched in an effort to halt the escalating crime wave and murders.</p><p>We ask for your co-operation and ask if you see the following people to call emergency services promptly. Do not approach these individuals as they may be armed and dangerous'  I dictated as I read , my legs shaking with nerves,</p><p>'The names...baby....' I said as I pointed and I placed a hand on his shoulders, my breath hitching again.</p><p>All names had photos ....some older than others, but it was certain ......</p><p>'Katalina Truva , 18th May 1986'</p><p>'Park Namjoon, 12th September 1994'</p><p>'Kim Taehyung,  30th December 1995'</p><p>'Jeon Jungkook, 1st September 1994'</p><p>All four of us alongside each other for the whole world to see, no lines between who was bad and who wasnt .</p><p>We both stayed still in shock, we didnt know what to say until the silence was unbearable.</p><p>'72 hours.....' I said clenching his shoulders.</p><p>'we have to try Jagi' he said taking me hand.</p><p>'Try what' I said trying not to let my nerves overwhelm me again.</p><p>'We try and fight, they are stuck like we are ......and we fight now I guess....'He said , a resolution folding over his stare.</p><p>'I know what you mean' I said to him , knowing we had made the decision to make our stand once and for all. we were fish in a barrel being shot at and we needed to make those two fuckers stand out and take the bullet.....NOT US .....I REFUSE IT TO BE US !!.</p><p>My phone again broke the silence.</p><p>It was Jessi</p><p>'Unnie......oh my god .....girl ....are you ok' She yelled to me.</p><p>'Jessi .....calm down it isn't what it looks like' I said trying to bring her voice down out of the rafters.</p><p>'You and Joe ....I mean Namjoon....you are all over the web and papers........you are in that group !!!' she continued to yell.</p><p>'Jessi....Listen to me.....I cant tell you everything ....Just know that we both have been set up....those two other guys....look at one of them......you've seen him before' I said .</p><p>I heard Jessi clicking on her phone as she opened the link back up.</p><p>'Oh my god.....that Creep!!....the club creep.....wait that's him!!' She said with surprise in her voice.</p><p>'Yes.......he has ....he and that other guy....they are from Namjoon's past, they have been after us......he tried to kill me ' I said , letting the truth flow out of me , not caring if I could fully trust her or not</p><p>'GIRL ....WHAT!!!!..........'She yelled , her voice piercing.</p><p>'It was about 6 weeks ago, the night the club burned down......he was after Namjoon and used me to send a message ' I said , and I could hear her voice cracking and almost crying.</p><p>'Unnie.......what can I do....this isn't you girl.......you haven't done anything ' She said pleading.</p><p>'I know and neither has Namjoon.....he hasn't ....he is the victim in this ' I said and by now I was in his room, well our room and sitting on the bed , having closed the door .</p><p>'Unnie......he can't drag you down!!' Jessi said , having always had a pessimistic view on men due to the club.</p><p>'Jessi ....please honey ......he isn't....he saved me....I can't explain it...he ...he .....I .....I' I said almost crying and trying to stay quiet so Namjoon didnt hear.</p><p>'You love him.....don't you' She said softly.</p><p>'Yes' I said , the tears escaping and my sobs causing silent tears to hit the handset, finally almost saying it with my own voice , but it came out of Jessi's mouth first.</p><p>'Girl......please.....I know ....I trust you.....He .....he saved you' She continued .</p><p>'Yes he did , for the last year he did....and now I don't know what to do' I sobbed.</p><p>'Unnie.....What can I do ' She said offering help even though there was nothing she could do.</p><p>'leave ...leave with the rest of the town...be safe.....and don't let anyone silence that mouth of yours' I sniffed and laughed.</p><p>'Well I can do one of those things ' She retorted back, with comfort in her voice.</p><p>'I will be ok.....we will be ok........I promise' I said to her .</p><p>'Unnie.....I'm so sorry.........I wish I could do something' She said .</p><p>'Live.......live and don't give a fuck.....like we always say right ' I said half sternly, remembering many friendly chats we had after hours whilst we pilfered Hobi's alcohol left overs.</p><p>'I'm a different kind of beast!!! ....remember ' She said down the phone clicking her tongue at the end.</p><p>' Shit....Hobi.....have you heard from him...is he ok' I said startled .</p><p>'He wasn't in the club at the time honey....he was ok...no one had seen him for days before hand , so I can only assume he went back to the city on business again' She posed and I bought her response.</p><p>'Ok' I said.</p><p>'Stay safe Unnie........you got this ' She said , her voice cracking as she knew now she had to say goodbye.</p><p>' I will.....too tough right ' I said and heard her agree and we both hung up.</p><p>I took a minute or two and went back into the living room , Namjoon's eyes still looking like they had the weight of the world in them.</p><p>'Jagi' He said his arms reaching for me to come to him.</p><p>I placed myself in his lap and hugged him, trying to keep my eyes off the screen.</p><p>'What did Jessi say' He asked softly, his breath warming me.</p><p>' Nothing I didnt already know baby' I said as my fingers stroked the back of his dark locks , where they met his neck.</p><p>'Well.......Live and don't give a fuck' I said.</p><p>'She gives good advice ' Namjoon said nodding and holding me.</p><p>Now was the time to fight .........it was time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. 38 - To the Barricades</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So we had limited time , but we had always known that , we knew the hour glass had been dripping against use for a while and we had to fight , this last fight to our lives could be ours once more, or we go out in a blaze of glory.</p><p>Namjoon was trying to protect me , the same way he had done all this time, and he knew that annoyingly he couldn't protect me from everything. </p><p>He wanted to make sure he didnt make the same mistakes he felt he made with Jimin, even though he never had made a mistake with his Brother, he loved his Brother with every facet of his heart and he was Jimin's hero no doubt.</p><p>I think I would have got on well with Jimin, he was like the light side of Namjoon and he was the words that inspired Namjoon's mind , he was a link to Grace Kim, their Mother , and I know all Namjoon ever had wanted to do , was be the man his Father never was, He wanted to give light back to the Park name and prove that one rotten apple doesn't kill the whole tree.</p><p>I cherished the link to Jimin that I had , the ring Namjoon had entrusted me with and I often found myself talking to Jimin in my head and finding a link to him through the ring , yeah silly I know how it must sound but Jimin was the reason Namjoon was a natural protector and I owed Jimin a lot.</p><p>Namjoon and I decided we would walk through the wasteland together, We know one way or another we would be caught, whether that be the Police, or Valiant with their bullshit demands for our capture, or Jade Enigma would find us first.</p><p>Taehyung had caught me unaware at the apartment and attacked me and blindsided me and I was determined to never let his stench creep in again, hell if I was going down in the next 72 hour , I was taking the bastard with me.</p><p>The bastard who has taken the light out of too many people because his own sick darkness is something that can never be cleansed by pure goodness. I owed it to Jimin and dear Jin to fight.</p><p>The only thing I had was Namjoon, my life had battered the shit of out me since birth and I was going to have new life , I mean I wanted to after this deadline had passed.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p> </p><p>'You packed Jagi...' Namjoon said as I stood in his bedroom still and thinking.</p><p>'How do we ever pack for this baby' I said speaking towards the back of me and feeling his warmth and presence approaching me .</p><p>'We leave this hear and Jackson will come and get it for us' Namjoon said , his warmth and his solid arms embracing me from behind and his lips meeting my hair briefly, as he tried to build the courage in the both of us.</p><p>'Jackson......' I said </p><p>'Yeah he will come and get this if we make it out, he will keep stuff safe for us , your belongings and the last....the last...bits of Jimin and my mother I have ' He said squeezing a bit tighter.</p><p>'And if we don't make it out .....' I said .</p><p>'I thought I was the pessimist in this relationship Jagi' he said as his nose trailed my ears and the nape of my neck.</p><p>'I'm just checking' I said , smiling and holding his arms , and trying to believe my own words.</p><p>'So we leave , we walk out of here, we join the crowds, we hide in plain sight , and if we are spotted by Jade...' He continued.</p><p>'We face it , we face them.......I know they are looking for us as much as we are looking for them' I said .</p><p>'I owe Taehyung a thank you ....' I said which slightly confused Namjoon.</p><p>'I owe him because he reminded me of the strength I have and how he has no idea' I said and I leaned my head back to Namjoon and he kissed me and guided his hands to turn me around.</p><p>'That creature wont hurt you again' Namjoon said, his eyes still hurting from when Taehyung did.</p><p>'Doesn't mean I won't hurt him' I said as I soothed Namjoon's gaze, and the coolness of the Ring of Jimin could be felt on his cheekbones.</p><p>'Jagi..' He said closing his eyes and exhaling.</p><p>'Yes my baby....' I said as I gently kissed his soft velvet lips.</p><p>'In London....I may change the finger for that ring.....and mine too' He said smiling.</p><p>I was a little taken back of course, but I knew what he meant, and whilst I had never thought of that in my life before, Namjoon had melted that ice and the thaw may lead me to that.</p><p>'Don't make promises.....not just yet  ' I said slightly laughing, always thinking of a slight tension</p><p>'I promise baby...when this is over.....there will be nothing forbidden anymore ...no words or anything' He said taking my hand from his face and placing it on his heart.</p><p>'This is yours Jagi...until it beats no more....and even past that......whenever it may be ' He said , and I felt more of him than I ever had.</p><p>I kissed his chest and hugged him making sure to nuzzle into his clothed breast and listen to the sound that soothed my soul.</p><p>He always made me feel better, even if in my body I did feel sick , my stomach looping every day and it was spinning the more this chaos went on.</p><p>'I promise too....we owe it to them.....' I said. </p><p>'Who baby?' Namjoon said his head now resting on top of mine.</p><p>'Kim Grace, Park Jimin and Kim Seokjin.....we owe it to everyone that those fuckers ever hurt'</p><p>'I.....I .......I'm with you, I'm by your side' Namjoon said his eyes spilling water from their sides, the importance of my words resonating with him.</p><p>'I will stay by your side until you survive.....and beyond Jagi....' I said staring into his eyes , their dark heaven taking me away.</p><p>'Hey ...Jagi is my word..' He said as he laughed and placed a kiss on me and we embraced before leaving the bedroom.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p> </p><p>'SO WE ARE FUCKING RATS NOW ...RATS IN A FUCKING TRAP!!!' Jungkook screamed to the few henchman he had left at their hideout , his whole body contorted as the words escaped him.</p><p>Even Taehyung was worried and nothing phased him, even the sinister dance going on in his head daily.</p><p>'Hyung..' Taehyung said to try and get Jungkook's attention, only to be meet with a deathly glare.</p><p>'BROTHER .....NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SHUT THAT FUCKING FACE OF YOURS ........'Jungkook said spitting from the corners of his mouth.</p><p>'We will paint this ....we always do....the pretty lights of those bastards flashy cars don't scare me' Taehyung laughed as he tried to jeer on the rest of the room to do the same, much to Jungkook's disgust.</p><p>Jungkook lunged at Taehyung, he could no longer abide this cyclone of a man that haunted his side.</p><p>'YOU DONT FUCKING GET IT DO YOU, DOES ANYTHING EVER GO INTO THAT HEAD OF YOURS ........WE ARE TRAPPED HERE , AND I DONT CARE IF WE HAVE TO KILL EVERYTHING WITH A PULSE .......NAMJOON.....HE WILL NOT GET OUT OF HERE .....NOT NOW ......IM TOO CLOSE ' Jungkook screamed at Taehyung , his hands firmly around the youngers throat , and his eyes electric with rage that stilled the whole room.</p><p>'GET OFF ME ASSHOLE' Taehyung managed to growl and kicked Jungkook off him.</p><p>'WHAT....WHAT GREAT MASTERPLAN DO YOU HAVE ....THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT' Jungkook screamed knowing full well that Taehyung left the wrong crumbs when he has attacked ans toyed around with Kat,</p><p>'HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIGURE THAT 'Taehyung said looking hurt for the first time at the man who he adored to unhealthy perverse levels.</p><p>'The whore .....you batted the whore around, you couldn't leave it to me!!!! ....and now they.....fucking valiant are here and ....they .....see' Jungkook said grabbing Taehyungs head by the nape of his hair and thrusting him towards an open computer screen, almost making the screen shatter when he hit Taehyungs head centimetres away from the 4 faces on the computer.</p><p>'Valiant will use them , use them to get us , all because you couldn't keep your fucking hands to yourself.....we had it , we had it planned, I was going to teach that little bitch a lesson and make her little piggy boy come and beg for mercy...but now.....now we have to deal with being trapped ' Jungkook said , his voice cracking the more he screamed into Taehyung .</p><p>Taehyung worked out of Jungkook's grip , and tried reasoning with his irate leader , knowing full well he had over stepped the boundaries and his next words could give him a cemetery plot .</p><p>'Brother ......we have escaped many times, we will do this.......no one does this shit better than you........we will paint this town with their screams.</p><p>Jungkook just shook his head, he wasn't used to not having complete control of the situation he was in.</p><p>His father forever swam in his head, he was a boy after all moulded and tormented and judged and directed by his own father, except Jungkook loved his father , unlike Namjoon.</p><p>Jungkook wanted to be the biggest and the baddest, he wanted to show he could be a boss like the mighty Myun-Li Jeon but not get caught in the process. Taehyungs actions smelt far too alike the betrayal of Ji-Hoon and Namjoon. He wanted to win this evil game once and for all without outside interference.</p><p>Love had saved Namjoon before, Jimin's last actions saved Namjoon and that never sat well with Jungkook, Jungkook couldn't understand love, he understood power, he understood hurt , he understood control and Namjoon always intrigued him to the point it drove him made.</p><p>The room was uneasy with indecision, the remainder of the hoard of Jade Enigma was waiting for their orders , from their now irate leader.</p><p>Jungkook took moments to calm, and to rebuild the steel gaze in his eyes.</p><p>'We have nothing to lose and everything to gain' he said with his back to the room, his hand laced in his hair behind him and grasping in desperation.</p><p>'They are stuck in this like we are, we are all in this maze and we need to draw them in, use them as bait .......time has come boys....yes.....go out......get them.....get me Namjoon and bring him here 'Jungkook said his head nodding to itself with every word and slowly turning to face a Taehyung , eagerly waiting his next order.</p><p>'I cant believe myself....but Tae.........eliminate the bitch ......take the one thing he has left...........rip the bitch to pieces I don't care..........Just make sure he knows and......he will come to me on his own' Jungkook said getting every closer to a now salivating Taehyung .</p><p>'Yes Hyung ....yes ........wait .....what's off limits?? ' He asked , as he had already been told he was in the wrong before and Taehyung didnt handle confusion very well.</p><p>'Nothing ......NOTHING, If you want to bring her to me and I can finish her off, then do so , She is like that curse Jimin.....so hurt her.....rip the pretty pussy Kat to tatters .....' Jungkook said .</p><p>Kat was marked for once more than Namjoon was , but the end result in Jungkook's mind would be the same , the concept of love that Jungkook hated and detested , he would extinguish ......and make it more colourful than he ever thought he could.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>We both couldn't bring ourselves to leave the trailer, we waited until the last moment, we danced our bodies inside each other one last time before we made the journey out of here.</p><p>I would never get enough of this man inside of me , I felt his resolution to get us through this, I felt absolution that this was it forever, I would have him with me forever, and our feeling, our pact , our survival had got us this far.</p><p>'We have to go baby' I said kissing him and trying to still the tears welling up in my soul.</p><p>He held my naked body against his , he held me close almost enough to pause time itself and he breathed deep.</p><p>'Jagi......whatever happens, this is perfection ' He said slowly moving to sit up with me , he held my hand in his, his ring of Jimin's meeting mine, his other hand held the pendant I had given him on Valentines that he now never took off.</p><p>'You got that right ' I said , knowing we could say every word we had and it still wouldn't be enough in that moment.</p><p>'We have to leave separately ....you remember right ' He said his dragon eyes holding me still.</p><p>'Yes ......but you are with me, by my side ' I said holding his hands tighter.</p><p>'I'm by your side ' Namjoon said , his lips meeting mine and our emotions silently agreeing we needed to get dressed and make the longest journey of our lives.</p><p>'When this is over , meet me at the other end of the beach, I will work out how to get us through and past those looking for us , Keep your phone on you, and baby......if you see those bastards' Namjoon said , his mouth straining over the last part.</p><p>'Move fast' I said , I knew this time , it was on my terms.</p><p>We got up and both got dressed , but this wasn't going to be a covert affair, if I was going to be captured possibly , I was going out my way, and I pulled on those boots that gave me power before, I pulled on the leather effect trousers, I pulled my hair up and put on the war paint , all under the watchful eye of Namjoon, enjoying my form once more for good luck.</p><p>'There my girl....my addiction' he said as I turned .</p><p>I was ready to kick ass at anything that came my way, I grabbed my phone and the few belongings I would keep on my person and we made our way out of the junkyard .</p><p>He held my hand.</p><p>His words ever more coming out before we ran in the opposite directions.</p><p>'I will take it away before you stumble' he uttered.</p><p>'I will stay by your side until we survive' I said , slightly changing the words to suit the situation.</p><p>I was with him as I left in darkness , and he in the opposite direction.</p><p>I'm with you baby, this will be over soon.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>The town was more chaotic than I had seen it in a long time, Cars and peoples clambering to get out , when in reality 72 hours wasn't enough , not to move a whole life, for those who had never left here.</p><p>I walked past parts of my history, parts of my story in that town, memories burning in my mind brighter than the flames and sounds of nearby.</p><p>I hoped inside that Jessi, Jackson and Hobi where safe, the few friends we had , those people who have saved us and not even realised or questioned situations.</p><p>Jin, he sat in my head, he didnt have to die, he was collateral damage in this , he like Jimin was a pawn in a fight he had nothing to do with, if I had any regrets , it was him, he was a good soul, he never did me any wrong and lent an ear that encouraged me to stay.</p><p>The human masses where mixed , it was hard to guess who was who , who was Jade and who was innocent, only the police sticking out by a mile.</p><p>The air was thick, flares lit the sky and smoke littered the oxygen around us , meaning that masks were worn, or our lungs would suffer.</p><p>I'll admit it made me feel a little safer, I tried to stay to myself , I didn't want to be caught by either side of this , and I wanted to keep my promise.</p><p>My phone was the rock I held onto , my digital anchor, my way to reach Namjoon, but we hadn't anticipated how pivotal it could be, the signal was worse than ever , and I only prayed it would hold out, it had to.</p><p>I had to take one of our old routes, it took me past my old apartment, I stopped just briefly and lowered my mask, giving one last smile into the darkness towards the home that had given me a lot , the police tape now fluttering in the wind.</p><p>'I'm sorry Yoongi......I hope you are stealing all the tangerines wherever  your fluffy little soul ended up'  I said as tears fell down my face, as I tried to blot out the vision of his body attached to that wall ...and just remember the fun times by the sweetest lodger I could have ever had.</p><p>'Goodbye old friend' I said and raised my mask back up and picked my pace back up.</p><p>My feet sounded around me and so did others, but over time I noticed my footsteps matched ....tap for tap on the concrete.....I was being followed.......maybe for a while......but I dare not turn around now.</p><p>===============================================================================</p><p>Namjoon's breath gasped under his mask, as he ran the streets around him trying to keep clear of anyone identifying him.</p><p>Whenever he needed air , he stopped, he stilled himself and he held the pendant tight, he felt Kat's love guiding him, his brothers lessons in his ear , and his mothers purity willing him on.</p><p>He didnt know what would happen next, he couldn't have planned it , not in this chaos.</p><p>The moon was high in the sky, like a beacon, he needed to get to and meet Kat like he planned.</p><p>But a voice broke his tracks , a coldness meeting his bones </p><p>'Park Namjoon.....STOP!!' the voice bellowed.</p><p>Namjoon recognising the face as he turned, his shock dripping over his mask as he lowered it , how had he been found by someone , someone who knew the old him by name.</p><p>'I can help you, I can get you out, but you have to trust me ......let me help you and her ...and end all this .</p><p>He knew he had to trust this , it may be the only way, he just didnt know why.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. 39 - Boiler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The longest chapter of the story, the start of the showdown</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>==SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - CRADLE OF FILTH - NYMPHETAMINE=======</p><p> </p><p>Life is defined by moments, quick ones or ones that linger, ones that can make or break your future or past in great synchronicity , and right now was one of those moments.</p><p>It wasn't my mind anymore, I knew I was being followed, I felt the grasp of the shadow at my heels , I felt the resolution to fight build in me, whoever this was , they would get an answer they didnt like.</p><p>I stopped my foot steps, I paused them, making those behind me stop too.</p><p>You often find calmness in times where you think this is it, and this was one of those times, the courage from the Park family watching over me.</p><p>'Its not nice to follow a lady' I said cocking my voice , and swaying my hips , this wasn't fear in me , this was fight .</p><p>I just heard a sly laugh, I knew who this was, but this time I was ready.</p><p>'Never a lady bitch ' He said and went to grab my from behind , but I moved quicker now than he anticipated.</p><p>He stumbled forward his rage spilling over at his error.</p><p>'Awww Taehyung....guess you don't like it when you aint in control!!' I said slowly walking backwards from him.</p><p>'Control......im gonna break you bitch' He screamed, his eyes wiry more than  normal.</p><p>'Not a chance' I said and ran and ran around every corner I could find, if wanted to be the cat this time , I'm going to let him.</p><p>The frenzy filled the air, I could hear, his voice screaming, and the louder it grew, I knew I wouldn't be the only one hearing it.</p><p>Plans always seemed to work in my head, until something unexpected comes along, the back alleys where a lot more littered than those times when I fucked Namjoon that first time and the debris was unpredictable under foot.</p><p>My foot caught glass and made my balance stumble from under me , falling down with a parade of curse words falling out of me.</p><p>'Games over Kitty' Taehyung said grabbing a portion of my hair in his hand and forcing me up, but this time I was going to fight, he wasn't winning this , not this time , they both wouldn't, they had killed Jimin and the pain of Grace reverberated in my head, pain had driven her crazy and she did what she did to save herself in her own way. </p><p>I managed to grab a handful of debris in my hands , and as Taehyung spun me round , I threw the mesh of Stones, glass, and debris into his face aiming for those poison eyes and kicked out at him, forcing him backwards, his venomous words spilling from his filthy tongue.</p><p>He was a strong bastard, the adrenaline made him insanely strong, his hand catching mine and pulling back onto the ground, my plan ending.</p><p>'NOT SO FAST BITCH ' he said as he thrust me down, the debris below me ,scrapping against the bare skin of my legs and the dust hitting the air around us both.</p><p>'I went easy on you last time whore.....and now you....and your pretty body....will be ribbons baby!!...'He said as he slithered over me , his sweat cascading from his twisted face , and his eyes blood shot from the injury I had caused, his hands pawing and pinning all at the same time.</p><p>'Stay still baby....I wont hurt you.....much' He said his hands gliding somewhere he was not allowed to enter, my thighs angrily fighting back.</p><p>He tried to keep me quiet....and then it hit me, the clarity in my mind , as his flesh danced around me.</p><p>'Taehyungie ' I said coyly acting to him and squirming under him as if I wanted him, making his face confused, he didnt like to be out of control and time to play the bastard at his own game now.</p><p>'BITE ME ASSHOLE!!' I screamed as I bit his bare wrist with the force I could muster in my jaw, the tips of my teeth ripping his arm like demented crepe paper and his blood pooling from him, I felt the tendons of his wrist grating together and straining and vibrating like a piano wire snapping, my own jaw tearing in pain as I was determined to not let go until I hit the bone.</p><p>His ungodly howl made his body force itself backwards, his other hand reaching up to the gaping wound I had created , I took only a moment pleasure , barely enjoying the taste of his blood around my lips , I kicked him in the balls, with the end of my steel heel forcing all I could , to ensure I ruptured his testicles with sheer force, and flipped myself up and began to run, not this time bastard.</p><p>He somehow wasn't beaten by this , I mean how !!....he wasn't human was my only temporary assumption, I only had one option, and thought on my feet , I could hear humanity trying to leave , and well .......He was gaining on me , his limping and screaming curdling the nights sky, his wrist leaving bloody breadcrumbs as each gush hit the dirty floor below him. </p><p>'Fuck .....shit....Fuck....no' I said as my breath was giving up on me and his slimy blood was trying to make its way to my stomach.</p><p>'Now .......KAT RUN NOW ......DONT LOOK JUST RUN!!!'............I said in my head and pushed every ounce of strength I had into me .</p><p>I ran, I must have had my eyes closed , but I ran in the faith that something was guiding me but I made it , I made it most of the way and  turned and opened my eyes , I could still hear him and feel his stench in the air , he could only see me , my steps continued at pace backwards, I wanted him to see my face.</p><p>I moved. I moved out of the incoming but he kept his gaze on me.....</p><p>'TAE!!!!'I screamed at him over the roar.</p><p>His face fixed on me and not his surroundings.</p><p>'JUMP.....FUCKER!!' I said my sinister smile saying farewell to him .</p><p>The cars slammed into him, sending him flying, his head bulls -eyeing the windscreen and flipping his body in the air , his bones cracking over the sound of the screeching traffic, his body contorting like a leather clad piñata spinning above the traffic .</p><p>His body hit the tarmac , his blood bathing the lights of the cars, and his gaze vacant, his head round the wrong way and all life ended in his ruptured iris's, and his blood decorating the road around him.</p><p>I did it , one down.........you brought this on yourself Taehyung ........but in death....you wont end up in the peace Jimin did.</p><p>'Rot in Hell motherfucker' I said to myself as I sat on the railing on the other side of the road , the finish line , I looked at the sky, my only constant and gathered my breath as I spat the taste of his blood from my mouth.</p><p>'For you Jimin......now to find your brother ' I said as I ran away raising my mask and disappearing into the darkness , I had to find Namjoon, or the barricade.</p><p>================================================================================</p><p>Had he made a deal with the devil, could he trust the words he heard and what he just agreed to. </p><p>Love was guiding him and he would do anything for Kat right now , he would always be her ride or die.</p><p>He could hear sirens building and was told to avoid them by the face who offered his get-out ticket.</p><p>He reached for his phone, wanting to check in with Kat, but the signal was gone.</p><p>'Dammit .....not now....no' Namjoon said shaking his phone in a vague hope that it would work.</p><p>He was still in a stir over what he had just agreed to , he was willing to do anything to save Kat but how the hell could he trust someone who had been deceitful , it didnt make sense , but he had no other way.</p><p>The sirens kept filling the air , echoing from the other side and he prayed in his soul that Kat was no where near them, he didn't want to be away from her , he trusted her and knows that she would do what it took to get to the meeting spot, if and when they found a way through.</p><p>No time to stop is what they agreed , don't look at the online noise and just head down and out and seal with a loving kiss the other side.</p><p>'Jagi...keep running baby' He spoke quietly to the sky and hoped the wind would listen and bring those words to Kat.</p><p>He was sweating, his hair dripping, his skin tight and sore from the heat under the mask, but after getting his breath, he had to keep going.</p><p>MESSAGES</p><p>NAMJOON 10.59pm</p><p> Jackson , Hyung , If you see Kat before I do , tell her to stay where she is , don't believe anything you read please, trust me , I think I have a way out of this . Joon-ah</p><p>The signal wobbled , as did Namjoon's brow hoping that it would get through.</p><p>Message sent , green tick, and another breath into his lungs to ease his worry.</p><p>his handset buzzed in his sweaty palms .</p><p>JACKSON 11.02pm:</p><p> Brother ....I've seen it, are you sure you know what you are doing, I know you aren't part of that, why say you are !</p><p>NAMJOON 11.04pm: Because sometimes a lie might save a life , I can't tell you, but if I didnt agree to this , she would be the target and not me .....I love her brother .</p><p>JACKSON 11.06pm: I don't doubt that brother , she wouldn't let you do this you know.</p><p>NAMJOON 11.07pm: Just tell her I am with her , please, make sure she is safe on the other side of the barricade . I cant talk much longer , I've got to stay where I am whilst this plays out .</p><p>JACKSON 11.08pm: Bulletproof always then I guess . See you again one day Brother, I will keep her safe I promise.</p><p>Namjoon placed the phone in his palm and wrapped his fingers around it , hoping against hope that Jackson would get to her and keep her safe.</p><p>He paced around where he was , The trap was being set he was about to the bait on the hook.</p><p>He looked one final time at the reports online.</p><p>'NAMJOON PARK - HEAD OF JADE ENIGMA , ARRESTED FOR MURDER  OF LOCAL BUSINESS MAN KIM SEOKJIN AND GRAND ARSON, ALLIES IDENTIFIED AND ARRESTED AND MONEY SEIZED -VALIANT SECURITIES  ' He read, his heart breaking with each letter he read.</p><p>'I'm sorry baby..........This is the only way ' He sobbed silently.</p><p>============================================================================</p><p>Jungkook couldn't believe the words he read, his blood boiled and almost erupted from his veins as each one threatened to combust in his arms.</p><p>Park Namjoon, the face stared back from his as he read .</p><p>'Park, 27, was arrested and fortune seized after raiding a seaside location, Park a known associate of Korean crime lord Jeon Myun-Li was captured at gun point off the cascade road after an anonymous tip off'</p><p>Jungkook's handed cracked the electronic mouse below his grasp as he scrolled on, the silence cracking in the empty room of the lair .</p><p>'Jeon Myun-li it can be revealed had contacted Mr Park and had made an agreement to share embezzled funds in exchange for keeping his son Jeon Jungkook in hiding , assets to the value of 45 Million Won have primarily been seized with further investigation pending 'The online article read.</p><p>Jungkook couldn't read anymore, he threw his arms across the desk, the force ripping the cords from their sockets and spurting electricity from their frayed ends, as he screamed and smashed anything he could reach.</p><p>'NOOOOOO......FUCKING BASTARD .......NOOOOOO.....IT WAS MINE.......IT WAS ALL FUCKING MINE !!!!!' Jungkook screamed, his voice gargling in the saliva lacing his throat.</p><p>He was so far gone tonight, he had lost control and it clouded his rationality, it made the plan in his head fade away as the adrenaline hit it like a steam train.</p><p>'FUCKING ASSHOLE..........WHY ........THIS IS MY FUCKING KINGDOM!!' He screamed his words bouncing off the walls, he had no understanding of this, how could this be real, the whole time he was doing this , his father, his idol, had been working with Namjoon all along, he had the money that should have been Jungkook's, he had everything and was the proverbial good son now , and Jungkook was tossed to the side.</p><p>His phone buzzed , breaking his rage momentarily.</p><p>BOYS 1 11.25PM: BOSS , LOCATED THE BITCH, TIME TO SILENCE HER, LOOKS LIKE TAE MISSED THE MARK YET AGAIN ?</p><p>JUNGKOOK J.E 11.27PM: IM COMING TO DO IT MYSELF NOW, CHANGE OF PLAN.....I GET TO KILL HER, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME FROM THE START , SO FUCKING  LET ME KNOW WHERE SHE IS .</p><p>He threw his phone down, he had changed the game plan.</p><p>He was going to have Kat murdered that night, his spotters ordered to let him know when she was found and then he would use her to get Namjoon, making him think he could rescue her , Jungkook wasn't stupid, he knew that Namjoon would do anything for this bitch he loved , he would say anything and believe anything Jungkook said , because he wasn't quick enough to save Jimin.</p><p>'I'M GOING TO KILL HIS BITCH MYSELF' Jungkook said to himself over and over again trying to calm his anger, Namjoon had taken his place, so Jungkook was going to take Namjoon's place and take Kat away forever.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p>Namjoon just waited he circled the block a few times, but he had to hide in plain sight once more , waiting for his ticket out of this , and for the local law enforcement to sweep in when a faint whiff of the Jade Enigma showed themselves.</p><p>Namjoon went to lean against a trash can but was meet with a thump to the back of the head causing him to fall forward against the wall in front of him.</p><p>'GOT YOU FUCKER!!!'  A large bearded man lunged towards him, grabbing his lapels of his Jacket and spinning his dazed body around so his face was meeting Namjoon's inches below his .</p><p>Namjoon's feet scraped the floor below him, the dust spiralling.</p><p>He had the mask ripped from his face and his head forced back against the wall .</p><p>'SO YOU ARE THE REAL BOSS ARE YOU........I DONT THINK SO ' The man yelled into Namjoon's face , his satisfaction in Namjoon's capture rippling in his muscles.</p><p>Namjoon's dragon eyes , narrowed under his brow, the outlines almost red as his fire rose in him, The crux of it was , years of hurt were probably going to help him right now.</p><p>He forced his head forward, headbutting the man on the chin, with such force you could hear his jaw crack, he gained his grasp back and landed punches on the man , all the pent up anger of the years past, flowing out of him and a melee of hits on this man in front of him.</p><p>The size difference didnt matter, he knew he had to fight, he promised to , He knew that this henchman didnt buy it and he had to shut him up .</p><p>The fight we back and forth, Namjoon's body taking hits and swallowing them as he fought for his life and his right to it.</p><p>He tried to overpower the man , but the man got a hold of the leather cord around  his neck, the pendant Kat had given him and he twisted and twisted to cut off Namjoon's air supply.</p><p>'That's it ......that's it asshole.....choke like that pretty little Seokjin did .......scream for me.....like when he dangled for me ...AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ' The man spat into Namjoon's ear , his purple hue now rising through his honey skin tone, his eyes squinty to draw strength to fight back.</p><p>Namjoon had maybe only moments left if this continued...... but he dropped his legs and pulled down with all his might , making the balance shift, the size difference finally helping in the opposite way.</p><p>A death curdling snap was heard when skin met metal, and this mass of a man that was attacking Namjoon, halted in their descent.</p><p>The man was not moving, Namjoon had pulled this man forward over him and his full force of his face had met the metal trash can snapping his neck in the fall .</p><p>Namjoon laid half under the dead assailant , breathing oxygen back into his blood and unwrapping the strained cord from his throat, the indentation sore and cutting into his neck and the lines rubbed into his Tattoo and the irony of this jewellery and the mark it left didnt escape Namjoon.</p><p>'I Wish people would stop going for the neck...' He half joked coughing as he crawled out from under the mans body.</p><p>He sat against the wall , his face sore and slightly bleeding from his brow .</p><p>'Always saving me Jagi' he said as he moved back and held the pendant in his hand , his hand hitting something on the way back.</p><p> A mobile phone, it wasn't his , it didn't even look new , it must have fallen out in the scuffle.</p><p>He opened the phone and saw something that made his blood stop still.'</p><p>MESSAGES: </p><p>JUNGKOOK J.E 11.27PM: IM COMING TO DO IT MYSELF NOW, CHANGE OF PLAN.....I GET TO KILL HER, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME FROM THE START , SO FUCKING LET ME KNOW WHERE SHE IS</p><p>Namjoon couldn't do anything but gasp, this was 15 mins ago, what did a change of plan mean....</p><p>'OH GOD NO........NO........NOT HER TOO' Namjoon said as he hurried through the phone looking anything he could , where was Kat, who was watching her as well.</p><p>But he saw a new road , he again has to make a choice.</p><p>The notes, said it all, an address.</p><p>'LOT 7, BANGTAN PARK</p><p>LOFT 13'</p><p>It was close and on foot, you would never know it was there  , his feet guided him, he wouldn't get this chance again, he had to know, so the plan changed again.</p><p>He took one last glance at his phone, the signal was gone, but he had to let her know something at least.</p><p>MESSAGES:</p><p>Namjoon: KAT , JAGI, PLEASE KNOW I AM WITH YOU, IM BY YOUR SIDE ALWAYS, STAY . J.x</p><p>He placed the phone back in his pocket, his eyes taking focus elsewhere.</p><p> The light of the phone screen eventually dimming , after the message failed and the box flagged red, and eagerly waiting for a moment of signal  and sat in its place waiting.</p><p>==============================================================================</p><p> </p><p>SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - BOILER - LIMP BIZKIT </p><p>Jungkook sat ,hearing the sirens all around the town wailing in the air , the smell of acrid smoke coming through the open vents on the loft and the door to the fire escape open to get air into the room and provide an exit to the roof if it was needed.</p><p>He pulled at his hair, his bunny teeth gritting against his lower teeth and his jaw clicking with rage as he tried to grasp what the fuck was happening.</p><p>It had all been for nothing, his years of rape, pillage and murder and building the Enigma had been for nothing , Namjoon had been the ace up the sleeve the whole time , the son Myun-li must have wanted even if he wasn't his son.</p><p>Jungkook never knew proper love but his black heart beat with jealousy as it thought of Namjoon's betrayal.</p><p>'why.......why........WHY!!!!!!!!!!!' He screamed, throwing and breaking a window in front of him.</p><p>'Because Hyung......you never were the fucking smart one!!'  A voice cut through the darkness of the doorway behind Jungkook, laughing as it finished the sentence.</p><p>Jungkook hadn't heard that voice in years, a voice only a scratch younger than his , those 11 days always haunting him.</p><p>'Namjoon' He said as he turned and the two's eyes met for the first time face to face since Namjoon had fled Korea.</p><p> ================================================================================</p><p>'I bet right now Kook-ah , you are asking yourself how the hell I'm here right' Namjoon said pacing, his hands in his pockets and his steps echoing into the room.</p><p>Jungkook's eyes were wide and his pace unsteady as he moved matching Namjoon.</p><p>'They caught you.........you took everything ' Jungkook flustered trying to find his words as his mind whipped in rage.</p><p>'Oh you stupid little child .....you aren't the only one who can plant lies ' Namjoon said to a confused Jungkook.</p><p>'They know where you are.....I'm guessing its just a matter of time.....I mean all your boys......well they must think I am the real boss by now right ......and well Taehuyng ........who knows.....that fuck.... ' Namjoon said mocking, he knew there was nothing to lose at this point and he had waited a long time to finally confront his brothers killer.</p><p>'MY FUCKING MONEY.....YOU AND APPA ....' Jungkook said trying to get to his weapons, forgetting any sense left rattling around in the depths of his mind.</p><p>'NO you idiot fuck..........I've never even heard from him.......for once I am now the bait and you are in my trap!' Namjoon laughed.</p><p>'IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU ....JUST LIKE YOUR SICK LITTLE BROTHER ' Jungkook screamed, his words wanting to be bullets hitting Namjoon.</p><p>'MAYBE.....OR MAYBE KOOKIE.....ILL TAKE YOU WITH ME' Namjoon said as the two lept at each other .</p><p>Jungkook was fast, he had been running and hiding and had amassed bounties that kept him safe, but Namjoon was driven by rage and he wanted to put Jungkook in the ground or in prison, whichever came first .</p><p>The lair was vast, and the chances endless for both to wage war against the other .</p><p>They wrestled, both hitting blows on the other, skin ripping and bruises rushing to the surface , their sweat filling the air</p><p>Two hearts, two almost birthday twins , one pure and one evil battled into the night and fought with every breath.</p><p>They travelled the whole length of the lair , ascending to the second floor when they had smashed all they could below the mezzanine.</p><p>Jungkook needed to change the arena, one Namjoon couldn't understand, he jolted out of the fire escape ascending the ladder to the roof , when he had knocked Namjoon down with enough time to run .</p><p>Namjoon followed, his feet hitting the water now cascading down the steps as the heavens once more dumped the summer rain on to the town.</p><p>The flames and sirens in the distance sounded out for the end of Jade Enigma, the colours painting the night sky.</p><p>Namjoon and Jungkook, two men 11 days apart in age , stood opposite one another, ready for the last leg of this fight, both ready to die for what was in their hearts.</p><p>'READY TO DIE?? .....YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT JOON!!.......YOU THINK THEY WILL LET YOU GO......THEY WONT!!' Jungkook laughed as his long hair caught the rain and drew itself over his face and his teeth snarled in his demented smile, his legs shook under him but he stayed standing</p><p>'FOR HER YES......YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS .. ' Namjoon said as he paced forward, not an ounce of fear in his eyes .</p><p>'FOR A WHORE .......YOU'D RISK IT ALL FOR A WHORE!!....YOU ARE SICK BROTHER!! ........LOVE DOESNT EXIST!! .......YOUR STUPID LITTLE GAY BROTHER BELIEVED IT SO MUCH.....IT WAS EASY BLEEDING IT OUT OF HIM.....HOW COULD LOVE EVER SAVE YOU BASTARD...' Jungkook taunted and laughed manically and his anger did grow, all he was focused on was Namjoon, his jealousy, his anger, his childhood trauma all melting together and his delusion taking over him.</p><p>'My brother was more of a man that you would ever hope to be Kook, and yes I would ........for her, for my mother and ........for the one thing that is now real......one thing you never had ....' Namjoon said his steps getting ever closer as his balance waivered as the rain and the wind picked up, he could feel the energy of those he loved in him now more than any moment in his life .</p><p>'YOU PATHETIC FOOL.............YOU' Jungkook said , his ears now ringing from all the sound and his balance shaking as Namjoon grew closer.</p><p>His eyes snapped, his venom rose , but ....but </p><p>'THIS ISNT FAKE LOVE !!' Namjoon screamed as he closed his eyes and charged at Jungkook striking his shoulders with full force into Jungkook's abdomen sending him falling backwards, his back meeting the sky light glass, his arms and hands catching the shards of glass and decorating his skin through his black ripped sweater as he fell with rapid velocity , it cracking under his weight and Jungkook body falling into the darkness and his deathly howl trying to destroy the darkness one final time.</p><p>Namjoon caught himself before he too slid into the frame , his eyes clenched closed as he rolled onto his back, his tears meeting the rain pounding his face.</p><p>'For ...you....for your baby brother.....I....I did it..... ' He gasped as he caught his breath and held his shoulder , knowing it was partially dislocated from the force , and he scrambled his fingers around trying to find the pendant of Kats, and his fingers grasping in relief when he found it.</p><p>'Now time to find my love Jimin, I love you....but I have to find her now ' He said as he rose up to hit feet, and tried to pop his shoulder back into the socket, and he spent only a moment looking into the darkness into which Jungkook had fallen and met his fate .</p><p>Namjoon made his way , his way down the fire escape and into the night, he had broken a promise by not staying put , but he had to find her , and keep the true promise he had made from the start to his brother.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. 40- Winter Flower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The following chapter deal with dark and triggering topics , and reader discretion is advised.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Where are you Joon....baby come on' I said as I tried everything to get my phone to work, the signal was gone, every  bit of frequency being used by the services in the area, it wasn't uncommon in other areas of the world for mobile or cell phones to be restricted when needed for other things. I had to listen to my heart for this one.</p><p> </p><p>The emergency services flooded the area, they moved from the barricades , it was now or never I guess , I had to do as we planned, I had done my half of this battle and I could only hope that Namjoon had made it out , I begged with my heart to the night sky , I wanted to see the daylight, I wanted to see it with him and I needed to know he was ok.</p><p>I walked with the crowds, past the police, past the detectives, who were heading to Taehyungs death scene, for once in my life I wanted to be surrounded by people.</p><p>I couldn't help but feel pride in what I had done, no -one ever wants to cause death , not anyone decent anyways I suppose but I had no other choice , I don't know why I chose that way of doing it, letting the cars make the choice for me .</p><p>I know Namjoon's mother was driven to that by his father, I wanted to make it right I guess, Taehyung was attached to a portion of that past, he was responsible for robbing the world of Jimin.</p><p>I breathed every step I took, I willed myself to make it past the finish line we had only dreamed off and I closed my eyes , wanting to open them on the other side, I wanted to stop the tears of any fear I had. The rain had met me and blurred in with all the sound around me</p><p>I kept the pace and could see the lights dim in front of me , their hue not coming through the skin of my eyes anymore. The rain was the music moving my feet.</p><p>===============SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION- YOUNHA FT RM  - WINTER FLOWER=========</p><p>I was at the beach and opened my eyes, the rain washing away the stampede of the night and my eyes catching a familiar face I could feel safety from.</p><p>'Jackson......' I said shocked and took my mask down....</p><p>'Kat........you made it....thank god ... ' He said as he came up to me and hugged me trying to warm me up , he had been standing in the rain, and was just as wet as me.</p><p>'Where is he ....Where's Joon' I said confused as hell, and not seeing him anywhere here , he had promised, so please ...please he has to be here.</p><p>'He said to meet him here , and Kat you mustn't believe what you hear....please just do that for me' Jackson said , his eyes willing me to believe him.</p><p>What was he on about , I checked my phone, no signal and no messages , what is Jackson saying to me?.</p><p>'He is ok......Jackson......he is ok isn't he!??' I said as I panicked and held onto Jacksons arms steadying myself so I didnt panic even more.</p><p>'You know Joon-ah....Trust him Kat' Jackson Joked and smiled.</p><p>'That's what I'm worried about......does he truly listen ' I said as tears tried to escape my eyes.</p><p>'I can't lose him ........I cant .........I .......I ' I said as the tears rose and I fell into Jackson's arms and sobbed. </p><p>He held me, he was warm and friendly and he was the last connection I had , please god, if you fucking exist and can hear me , don't take Namjoon way from me, I only just found him  .</p><p>Jackson held me as the rain enveloped us both , the cars around us all but moved as the barriers lifted , he held me and his hand stroked my hair as I sobbed like a hurt child who had lost her only friend.</p><p>'He will find you.........I know it ......' Jackson said as his arms let me go, making sure I was still able to stay firm in one spot</p><p>I wiped my nose and smiled .</p><p>My face relaxing , the finish line had moved down the road, was this freedom....what was this ........we hadn't all finished the race though.</p><p>Jackson took a step back which confused me.</p><p>'I will Stay by your side until you survive' Said a voice that cut through the rain and made my soul leave my body, and my attention move behind me.</p><p>'Joon!!!' I screamed and ran into his arms , my lips meeting his with force and my arms draping around his neck as he hugged my soul into his.</p><p>'I'm with you baby........I always keep my promise don't I?' Namjoon said between sobs into my ear.</p><p>'Better late than never asshole' I laughed kissing his neck and looking over his shoulder to see Jackson smiling and walking away to his van, he had kept his promise and he knew we were both safe.</p><p>'What happened ....why .....why are you cut up' I said looking at Namjoon's sore face and my hands holding his cheeks surveying the cuts but loving his beauty I thought I would never see again. He would no doubt tell me later if I couldn't get the details now.</p><p>'Its a long story Jagi, we will have to write this one down, lets write this crazy story down one day' He said as he laughed as he kissed me and convinced me not to say anything more.</p><p>'You got it , our crazy story' I said holding him in my arms , I watched as Jackson drove off and left us together in the rain, the sirens static in their spot and the dark barricade was no more and our dark road clear ahead.</p><p>His breath grew in its pace, his lips pressed near my ear and his words quick but strong  into my ear.....'Please tell me baby.....its ok now.....tell me now .....' He said , his hand now in my hair , holding my head to hi</p><p>' I know baby....I know' I said as I kissed him on the lips , his eyes loving me like I had wanted that whole night.</p><p>'I love you Joon, I fucking love you' I said as I kissed him, his lips smashing into mine and his eyes wincing closed.</p><p>'I love you too baby...Always ' He said his lips parting from mine and his whole body spinning round almost making me lose my balance, it slightly shocked but excited me, and I feel his body jolting against mine like an impact  and his embrace hurting my ribs , his arms squeezing me like a heavy blanket and pushing me into him, was this the passion I got this night ?.</p><p>The hurt grew......his breathe quickened, and his embrace fell away, his embrace melted off mine....wait ....what......!!</p><p>'Joon......Joonie!!!....'I said as I saw his eyes , an image I can never lose, the fear and I knew what was happening, His fear, he was scared......</p><p>The sting grew and my breast grew warm as the wetness dripped down me and I realised our final horror as he slumped forward onto me</p><p>'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!' I screamed , catching us both as he fell into me and we hit the asphalt together</p><p>His shirt was crimson, the crimson flowing around his neck too bathing us both, the tip of something poking through his chest , I had no time to fully catch up and notice I was cut too by this , my breast growing warm but the wound only barely open .</p><p>'NAMJOON.....NOOOOO ....BABY.....NO.....SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!! ....' I screamed but I couldn't get the words to travel far enough, it all became clear, he had been shot in the back, after he spun me round, he was shot in the back by something and that something was lodged in his lungs , the storm of a water sound echoing from the hole as it wept.</p><p>I kept trying to hear his heartbeat, if I hear it , its still there , I wept.</p><p>His breath was laboured and wet, he sounded like he was drowning , and I couldn't stop it .</p><p>'Kat........baby..........I love......I love you.....you....please.....please.....I love...' He sputtered, the blood filling his mouth , his eyes locked on me, those diamonds growing weaker by the second, my lap growing warm and wet under his body, his blood mixing with the rain water and making a bigger lake around us </p><p>I could see in the distance , I saw what it was , that dark shadow one more time, ready for us both.</p><p>Jungkook , battered and bloody had shot a cross bow right at us and struck Namjoon in the back, he was the epitome of evil stumbling towards me , his eyes still laser focused on me.</p><p>Why , why.....I was so close....why ........</p><p>I tried to put my hand over his wound, trying to push all the blood back into the heart I loved, but it was futile, the wound was fatal, the tip of the arrow grazing everything as it entered and I couldn't fix him this time.</p><p>'No baby....noooooo....please no!!.........' I said as I rocked with his body growing ever colder in my arms and his blood snaking its away all around me , his body shaking as the air couldn't get in his lungs, his death rattle growing as his hands held onto mine as tight as he had left.</p><p>'I'm with you ....I'm with you' I said as I held his face in my arms and kissed his lips, tasting his love one last time.</p><p>He looked into me , his life almost fallen away , sirens approached behind me furious and loud me.</p><p>'Stay.....'Namjoon said, one final word and then his breath then falling silent , his blood slowed and the current stopped.... and I felt myself die inside too......The love I had searched for my whole life, was gone, Namjoon was gone, He died in my arms and I was about to die to.</p><p>Death take me away please, you took him, you took him away from me.</p><p>I rocked and held him, he wasn't going to be alone like Jimin and Jin, I wasn't going to let him die on his own, I just closed my eyes and prayed in my mind to put all the blood back in his body, he must have seen Jungkook, he must of, how could he not ?.</p><p>I could hear the bastards boots behind me, his limping footsteps coming towards me , him cocking the bow once more and his sick voice speaking.</p><p>'We don't all have nine lives do we Kat!!.....he tried to kill me so many times....even tonight .....and he couldn't.....and he cant save you........ nothing will ever fucking save a whore like you !' He laughed, but pain stretched across him like he could barely move without falling.</p><p>I kept my eyes closed, I didnt care, I would be with Namjoon , that's all that mattered.</p><p>' There is only one of me , always FUCKING WILL BE, IM THE ONLY FUCKING NIGHTMARE THIS WORLD WILL EVER NEED, AND IT WILL ALL BE MINE AGAIN ' He Howled noticing the sirens getting closer and closer.</p><p>I just cried.</p><p>' Didnt anyone ever tell you bitch......Kat.....never cry over spilt milk WENCH!.....TIME FOR THE FINAL NAIL IN THIS LOVED UP LITTLE COFFIN ' Jungkook hissed and began to laugh as I heard his bow raise , and I readied myself for the final blow.</p><p>I love you Namjoon and I'm always by your side, I said in my mind.</p><p> My hands gently falling over Namjoon's face , closing his dead eyes so he and I would be as one in this, my eyes closed and face pressed against Namjoon's, Goodbye my sweet love, my tears falling on his face, we have no more miracles left in us. </p><p>Moments seemed like an hour and I heard the bang, bracing my soul for impact, but nothing, did death happen quickly and all that's left is this darkness..........but wait what the fuck.......I was still alive , my lovers body in my arms .</p><p>I opened my eyes and looked up at Jungkook who was feet from me , and say his dark eyes falling as the second bullet hit him square in the forehead , his bow dropping to the floor , its arrow shooting across the asphalt , the sound of the gunshot cascading through the air.</p><p>Gunshot .......what....gunshots.....wait....</p><p>They came from behind me ,cars now behind me, white lights flashing eliminated the puddle of what was left that I was sat in , footsteps coming towards me.</p><p>My grief roaring like a tornado in me , only to hear a sentence through the hell.</p><p>'THIS IS  VALIANT AGENT JUNG HOSEOK, MAIN TARGET DOWN.....I REPEAT.....MAIN TARGET DOWN, ALL UNITS STAND DOWN!!' The voice ended and bellowed as it looked down at me.</p><p>My eyes were in a nightmare , they had to be , for I couldn't believe it .</p><p>'Hobi.....no.....Hobi!?!' I gasped as I lost all senses and screamed into myself and held Namjoon's cold body in my lap and screamed into the night.</p><p>This isn't real.........take me to hell.....please.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. 41 - To my face this time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The following chapters deal with dark and triggering topics, reader discretion is advised.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I must have sat in that room for hours , listening only to the hum of the strip lighting above me , the dark walls and camera not interesting me.</p><p>I was sitting barely sitting on a cold steel chair , my bloodied hands on the desk in front of me, static , the only thing in my gaze, Namjoon's blood all around every mark on my hands.</p><p>I felt nothing , just darkness, empty and just the involuntary reflex keeping me breathing .</p><p>He wasn't in my arms right now , but I could still feel him everywhere on me.</p><p>He was down the hall from me, his beautiful form laying on the metal slab he has always told me he could foresee.</p><p>We are both cold now , He was dead and so was I , everything in me that formed life had left.</p><p>Time stands still, so I must be in hell right now , and if this is hell and he is down the hall from me, I am staying.</p><p>=============================================================================</p><p>Door clicking and footsteps fall but my stance didnt change, even when that lying voice hit the air around me again.</p><p>'Katalina, are you ok' Hobi said , walking into the room, his hair still slightly wet from that moment where he found us all.</p><p>His stance different, his whole body suited and his white shirt poking out from under his black suit, His eyes where Hobi, but this .....this fucking imposter...who was he.</p><p>'Katalina....you are safe here' Hobi said as he gestured through the mirror behind me , probably to start recording.</p><p>'Safe......safe' I said , my voice cracking and dry and confused in tone.</p><p>'Yes Kat you are safe here' Hobi said as he sat opposite me and caught my eyes .</p><p>'Am I really..........because right now .....I am staring at a fucking liar' I said , I had nothing left to lose , and Hobi knew it.</p><p>'Katalina.......I know you have questions' Hobi said as he put his hands together in front of him on the steel table.</p><p>'Well one big one.......you are with Valiant aren't you' I said, not meeting his gaze but staring at Namjoon's blood on my hands.</p><p>'I am Jung Hoseok......Chief agent , Valiant securities ' He said , his voice uneasy as he told the truth to me probably for the first time ever.</p><p>'Then who the fuck is Hobi.......who were you' I said , my fury wanting to break out the more I heard.</p><p>'Hobi.....he...I was there ....to watch ....to work this out' He said to me.</p><p>I laughed , coughed and laughed</p><p>'I never meant for this to happen, we had a lead and then' He said trying to explain.</p><p>'You never ....you never.......I'm sorry Hobi.......or whatever the fuck your name is ......you never wanted this to happen??' I said as I clenched my fists together.</p><p>'I watched all of you, you were in the middle of this , but you also got us closer' He  said .</p><p>'Got you closer.....so you fucking used me' I said , my voice shaking.</p><p>'Never my intention' He said laying his hands on the table.</p><p>'Never anyone's intention, but they still do' I said as I sat back and tried to wipe my face but realising they where still covered in blood and I winced , I couldn't taste it again.</p><p>I just hugged myself with my arms , my clothes still wet and copper smelling .</p><p>'Kat.....Katalina.......we had been looking for Namjoon for a very long time' He said and continued.</p><p>'He wasn't any of this , we know that now , we had to find who was doing this, it got out of Korea and we have been chasing this for years' he said as he described.</p><p>'We tried everything , we've lost countless agents in this , good men and woman, and then we had to think differently, we had to work as Jade Enigma worked, we had to hide in plain sight' He said stopping as he saw I was hurting every word he said and they hit me one by one.</p><p>'That's why I .....why I hide in the club, they didnt know those in Valiant higher up, we aren't easy to find ' Hobi ,he had to tell me everything.</p><p>I sat rocking on the chair , my soul incapable of hearing much more.</p><p>'Katalina.....Kat ...is there anyone we can call....do you have anyone ....any family.....fuck I don't know' He said his hands meeting his mouth as he was struggling to find words.</p><p>It snapped me out of it , my eyes like a razor hitting him full pelt.</p><p>'Family.......FUCKING FAMILY.......do I have anyone ........NO I DON'T HAVE ANYONE ........NO ONE...........' I screamed as I smashed my hands into the metal of the table, the sounds rippling and making Hobi jump.</p><p>'The only thing I ever had , is down your hall, in a fucking cadaver, dead ...fucking dead....murdered by Jeon Jungkook, So unless you are going to shoot me in the fucking head too ....I have nothing ......absolutely fucking nothing' I said , tears couldn't form as my eyes were so swollen.</p><p>'Kat....I ...I ......I tried' Hobi said trying to reason with me.</p><p>'You tried.......you didn't do anything Hobi!!, you were going to trap me and him, you put that disgusting notice out and now everyone thinks we are fucking criminals' I screamed , and wanted to rip the table to pieces, despite it being stainless steel.</p><p>'I found him Kat, I found Namjoon, I offered him a way out , a way to clear his name' Hobi said.</p><p>I had heard enough, I lunged at him, grabbing him and him catching and pulling me down with him, I tried to smack the shit out of him, I kept missing, the hurt in me was too much.</p><p>'He was always fucking innocent , how dare you' I said and I couldn't help but howl as the pain was too much.</p><p>Hobi caught my hands and pulled both of us to our knees, an alarm sounded but Hobi gestured towards that mirror to stop anything further happening.</p><p>'I know .....I KNOW THAT NOW KAT ,BUT WE NEEDED TO FIND ALL OF YOU, YOU AND HE WOULD HELP US FIND THEM.....AND I FUCKED UP' Hobi yelled at trying to shake me to see sense.</p><p>'No you didnt.....you must of known.....How the hell did you find him......why couldn't you find them before they found us ......we are no 'ones bait ' I cried and said as much as my voice could muster in each breath.</p><p>'I will tell you everything, Namjoon made a choice , even after I offered him the easier way, I don't know how he found Jungkook, but by the time I knew, I tried to.....I tried to find you both.....after what happened with Taehyung' He said to me.</p><p>'I killed that fucker, he chased me into traffic and I made sure he stopped it....and dare I say it was beautiful.....and you are all a little jealous... ' I said a small hint of pride in my voice , for doing something Valiant couldn't'</p><p>'You Killed Taehyung......' Hobi said his hands leaving me </p><p>'Yes ........so lock me up, shoot me....put me next to my lover....I don't give a fuck....I cant...' I said cold and stoic.</p><p>'It was an accident, we are viewing it as an accident....' Hobi said as he raised himself to his feet and raised me to mine.</p><p>'I meant all of it .........the bastard deserved it all' I said my skin growing cold and the lights burning my eyes.</p><p>'Let me help you Kat, let me get you home' He said trying to give me space.</p><p>'I don't have a home Hobi!!, my home is dead ........because of you!' I said , my hands falling to my side and my breath swallowed as my throat hurt every time the oxygen hit it.</p><p>' I will tell you everything ........I fucked up.........I .....He made a choice ' Hobi said , not being able to find the proper words for me.</p><p>'He made a choice .......he choose to have a fucking arrow in his back?????.......Hobi ...I swear to god I will fucking kill you too!!!' I screamed and winced as my throat almost drew blood as I howled.</p><p>'I will tell you everything , I will help you get home....I don't have a choice now.....your visa .....it expired...its out of my control' He said knowing he would push me too far now.</p><p>'what the fuck' I said and lost control.</p><p>I lept at him, my blood cracked hands hitting his white shirt and my screams throwing themselves onto him.</p><p>'Here.....here you asshole........does this taste like my home......does it !!!' I screamed as I thrust my soiled hands towards his mouth, I was going to make him taste what he had done to us.</p><p>'I hate you so much' I said slapping him as much as I could.</p><p>I felt other arms pull me away and drag me, Please drag me to hell , I deserve it , I cant be here now.</p><p>'Let her go!!' Hobi yelled, his own face red and breathless., and directed his colleagues to let me go and leave me where I was.</p><p>I sat , my legs crossed and huddled in front of me, No more.....please no more.....just take me away.</p><p>'Katalina......I have to tell you......why he made a choice.....a choice I should never have offered........He wanted to save you' Hobi said as he crouched, hoping id listen.</p><p>'But he ....he didnt save me ......why am I still here' I said as I fell onto the ground and cried , my ear pressed to the ground, I couldn't hear the heartbeat I craved, it wasn't real...it was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. 42 - In earlier hours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How a deal was made.<br/>Triggering topics in the finals chapters, reader discretion advised.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the hours earlier , Namjoon had been offered a way out , a way out for one of them, but he had to do anything he could if it meant she could at least be free.</p><p>His eyes meet the voice, a voice he had only heard in the Dark hope club, his eyes not believing what he saw.</p><p>'Hobi........club Hobi' Namjoon said confused and his feet ready to run.</p><p>'Yes Namjoon....Park Namjoon....I know who you are ' Hobi said , knowing he was confusing the hell out of Namjoon right now.</p><p>'I am not who you think I am' Hobi said, causing Namjoon to panic, 'But you have to listen to me'</p><p>'NO fucking way......where is Kat ...what have you done with my girl' Namjoon said trying to push at Hobi.</p><p>'Namjoon I can help you both, Valiant can help you both' Hobi said, his voice praying Namjoon would listen.</p><p>'Valiant....wait what ??' Namjoon said his voice concerned.</p><p>'We had been looking for you since Korea, we know Namjoon.....we know' Hobi said.</p><p>'You bastards let them here' Namjoon said , his stance still ready to attack.</p><p>'I am Agent Jung Hoseok, I was the one that found your brother, I was the one that has been piecing this together , and now I know ....you had nothing to do with this ' Hobi pleaded and he saw Namjoon's mannerisms change.</p><p>'I may not look it , but I'm older than you think, I work for the violet division, no one knows who we are or where we are, and I've been watching all of you for a while' Hobi continued.</p><p>'You...you found Jimin' Namjoon said his voice shaking .</p><p>'Yes local law enforcement received a call that a young member of the Park family had been killed....and I thought it was you ..........I thought Jade Enigma was you.....' Hobi flustered.</p><p>'I didnt Kill Jimin......you fuck....' Namjoon said his voice making his fist tense.</p><p>'I knew that when I found Jimin, the paint on his body, I knew who it was . I knew Taehyung had a part to play in this, too much added up, he was doing to much and Jungkook couldn't stop him from opening his mouth' Hobi continued .</p><p>'Myun-Li ...he confessed to everything Namjoon......he had been speaking with Taehyung this whole time, he wanted to use Tae to make Jungkook move faster....he used him to make Jade Enigma move faster , he knew Jungkook would want to be the head, but he needed a push....he could never be as depraved as Myun-Li wanted him to' Hobi said , his voice trying to reach over the sounds around them.</p><p>'Taehyung....that sick fuck.....he encouraged it all.......but he is crazy' Namjoon said , ever the more confused.</p><p>'Taehyung is crazy........he is but he also had the talents for the kill and Myun-Li used that ........the same talent Ji-Hoon had ....the same cruelty that left you for dead...I thought you both died that day when I heard news we had both Park brothers ' Hobi said , stepping towards Namjoon.</p><p>' But you left, I didnt know it then, but I know it now , it wasn't you, you didnt have the money, you didnt have anything except what Ji-Hoon left you with' Hobi said as he pointed at the scar.</p><p>'I know all this in me but I don't know how to prove it , those above me need assurances' Hobi said.</p><p>'I want to make a deal with you Namjoon, Let me help you to help her, I've seen you both, I know her and I know you need her ' Hobi said .</p><p>'What deal.........I will do anything for her ....I can't lose her like I lost him' Namjoon said , the truth ringing around in his ears , but he would do anything for the love that consumed him now.</p><p>'I need to lure Jungkook out, I need to use you.......his hate for you.....him being at the club wasn't enough.....I need his proof .....Help me Namjoon....Help me end this ' Hobi pleaded.</p><p>'What do I have to do' Namjoon said hoping for a miracle</p><p>'I use you as bait....I need you to agree it was you.....you are the head of Jade Enigma....you and Myun Li' and the money.....and we tell everyone .....the same way I lured you and her out wiht that order' Hobi said his voice unsteady</p><p>Namjoon was speechless for a moment, the evil that had followed him, he was now going to have to lie and say it was all him.</p><p>'I will use you, I will arrest you at the border, I promise you she will go free.....I know both of you are here illegally, can she get there too, I will have to arrest you, I have no choice ' Hobi said and knew he had to make a deal to save this night once and for all.</p><p>'She will never forgive me , How do I tell her ...........how I ....yes .....we are to meet at the north barricade, we were going to find a way' Namjoon said his head lowering, knowing he had no choice.</p><p>'You will have to hurt her to save her , you will save more than her, this will lure Jungkook out, all that animal has ever wanted was his fathers praise and to be bigger than he was ' Hobi pleaded, knowing Namjoon was forming an answer.</p><p>' I have no choice .....I love her ....I cant lose her...I have no choice....so yes ....do what you need ....just let me tell her , let me have a moment with her' Namjoon said , nodding and shrugging his shoulders as the burden hit him.</p><p>'She will be safe you have my word Namjoon, and once I have Jungkook, I will do all I can to clear your name  , and you will be with her ....I will try , but we have to save who we can right now ' Hobi said , a promise thick in his voice.</p><p>The two parted, he would meet Hobi , Agent Jung Hoseok at the barrier , he would now put the word out , Park Namjoon, the head of Jade Enigma, the petrol to this flame that would burn Jungkook out of his hide out.</p><p>What had he just done.......</p><p>================================================================================================================================================================</p><p>The plan was in place, Hobi orchestrated the order and he updated it , making sure it hit every news server it could, he cast his net wide and hoped that he could finally end this , the violet division doing what it could.</p><p>He was at an abandoned building , listening to everything, the barricade, escorting people through and checking cars and passengers as the night went on.</p><p>He was clutching at strawers, but this needed to stop here, it had bled across Asia , he couldn't keep it in Korea, and he lost two men , The Park brothers, because he didnt act quick enough the first time.</p><p>He could hear the towns noise in the distance , but had learned to block out noise, their offices where in hiding miles away and he had no issue with blocking out what he didnt want to hear in the headquarters miles away.</p><p>'HOSEOK-------HOSEOK.-----AGENT ----COME IN'..... A voice cracked over the radio.</p><p>'Agent Jung....what is it ....over' Hobi responded.</p><p>'Kim Taehyung....Target located....Target deceased...over...' the voice responded.</p><p>Hobi's brow became razorlike as he grabbed and responded on the radio lightening quick.</p><p>'Deceased.......what do you mean.....deceased' The voice copied back to Hobi.</p><p>'Car crash, pedestrian VS vehicles, Target is deceased, pile up on the northern end of Cascade road, a hooded figure seen leaving the scene' The voice echoed.</p><p>'Over ......' Hobi said back not knowing how to respond.</p><p>'Namjoon what are you doing ....this isn't the plan' Hobi said as he angrily picked up his jacket and went to his car. He had no way of knowing that Namjoon had no way of doing this, this had been all Kat , all her doing and a fitting way for him to end .</p><p>Hobi sat in his car, losing his temper and punching the steering wheel as he screamed behind his dimmed windows, he had lit a fire , the wrong fire and it wasn't going how it should .</p><p>He didn't know what to do next , he had to come up with something, he couldn't return to his superiors empty handed this time.</p><p>He had taken a radio with him, and switched the cars transponder on too, after sitting in the silence trying to think of this next move.</p><p>'CODE RED.....CODE RED..........agent down ........agent down' a voice yelled over the radio.</p><p>'HOSEOK , AGENT JUNG, OVER'  Hobi said.</p><p>'Send help to Lot 7, Bangtan Park, Loft 13, Agent found deceased, Jeon Jungkook is now on foot, on foot to cascade road, multiple calls' the agent yelled down the phone, the panic showing.</p><p>'What do you mean agent down!!' Hobi yelled losing any professionalism he had left.</p><p>'Agent Sehun....he went to the location after seeing Park running away, he found Jeon unconscious, he appears to have fallen from the roof hitting the couches he had in his apartment , he called me for back up, but when I got there ........Agent.......Hoseok.......He ....' The agent said unable to finish his sentence.</p><p>'AGENT....PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER ....WHERE IS JEON' Hobi said sternly grasping onto his radio and his other hand clenching his hair in desperation.</p><p>'He is heading towards cascade road .........but Agent send a team to Bangtan park...sehun .....he was decapitated ' The agent responded , the static of the radio being heard after both could speak no more.</p><p>Hobi didnt know what to do, he thought he had the perfect plan, but it was falling apart, had Namjoon found Jungkook, how had he found him, what was this , Sehun is dead and both Park and Jeon are on the run, both .......oh shit .....both heading the same place.</p><p>Hobi threw everything down, he had to get to cascade road, he had to make it , he had to make it before Namjoon found Kat and before Jungkook found them both!.</p><p>He pushed his foot into the metal of the floor , the accelerator pedal pushed to the max as he speed towards the barricade, praying all the whole time.</p><p>would it be enough though?</p><p>===============================================================================</p><p>'So now you see Katalina ..........one way or another ....he chose to save you ........I'm so sorry........I'm so sorry .....the whole shitshow tonight........' Hobi said trying to hold me as I stood in the corner of the room, I leaned away from him, I wanted nothing touching me right now or ever again.</p><p>The cameras where now off, Hobi owed me that I guess, he owed me the full story, I  needed to know everything that night  even if sense had left my being completely.</p><p>'Hobi....stay the fuck away from me.....I'm warning you' I said , begging with my words .</p><p>'Kat...........he saved you.....please' Hobi tried one final time to plead with me.</p><p>'I hate you.......this is your fault..........no one.......no one can save me now.....You cant save something that doesn't exist!!! ' I said as I spat at him with the air left in me and left the room, resolute in my mind what I had to do next.</p><p>Hobi had no choice but to let me leave , his agents let me go to, they had nothing to hold me for other than an expired visa.</p><p>I want the night to swallow me , Namjoon.......why ..........baby.....WHY!!!!</p><p>You should have saved yourself , then this would be the right way round.</p>
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<a name="section0043"><h2>43. 43 - Where is it ?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Contains a very triggering event. reader discretion is advised.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My feet just walked on auto pilot, after I left the premises that housed those Valiant monster, who now had Namjoon's body.</p><p>I had no rights, I couldn't take him and leave like I wanted to to, I couldn't be alongside him either.</p><p>He was no doubt going to be taken back to Korea, he told me once that his Mother and Brother were in a plot together, one he visited before he began running, so I can only guess he will end up there.</p><p>I might never find it , I might never be able to go there, We were going to be apart forever , and the darkness made that feel like forever.</p><p>There wasn't anyone around, no police , no valiant, no people, no one, just the stains of the night before everywhere, the curfew had expired , 72 hours changed everything and I was alone, just the beach , the tide, the quiet and me, in the loneliest place on the earth.</p><p>Where could I go , what was left now , I walked until the blisters formed and my skin cracked.</p><p>I found myself back where I found out I loved him, my walk guided me there.</p><p>'Honey .....I'm Home' I said with a vacant glare, as I caught and ripped the police tap off the bottom of the stairs , those metal stairs leading to my apartment , somewhere I hadn't been in a long time, not since I was wheeled out of there.</p><p>My stomach cramped , it had been like that for while, but this hell would surely do more to some people.</p><p>I guess I was lucky no one looted this place, it was broken, it smelt, and the blood from Yoongi had darkened on the wall , he had been removed the same night I was, and my god I wished that fluffy shit head would appear like he used to and convince me this was all just a dream, but the rotting tangerines on the countertop proved it wasn't.</p><p>My bed was still there , dark and cold , I just looked at it, the pain stabbing me all over when the memories of me and Namjoon tried to creep in, I just shook, my hands shaking as if my soul was cold.</p><p>He was still all over me , I felt sick, I tried to rub it off, or rub it in , I wasn't sure , but I stumbled to my sink, punched the tap and the water trickled out , I just rubbed and rubbed, my tears matching to flow as his blood trailed off my hands and down the plughole, I just left the water running, I hadn't the strength to do anything else.</p><p>I stumbled back to the bed , and fell back , my weakness over taking me , the quiet haunting me.</p><p>I laid there, not feeling the pass of time , just the emptiness , my body jerking every now and again.</p><p>======SOUNDTRACK SUGGESTION - LOVE IS GONE - SLANDER FT DYLAN MATTHEW ACOUSTIC VERSION====================================</p><p>'Hello' I said , not expecting an answer.</p><p>'Where is it ?' I said , the words falling from my lips as my mind fell at the same time.</p><p>'Where is love .....this isn't supposed to be this is it Joon?' I continued .</p><p>'This isn't the blank canvas you promised asshole........we didnt make it to London did we ?' I said , wanting to hate him, the same way I met him, hating him.</p><p>'Baby ........Jagi....please answer me.......please' I said as the scream built and the sobs bounced from the wall.</p><p>'Baby.....I can't do this ....why did you have to change the plans.....we would have got out .....we would ......ahhhh fuck......I HATE YOU ........I FUCKING HATE YOU !!!!' ....I Know I should have stopped screaming but I couldn't, I kicked and flung all my limbs , I couldn't control it .</p><p>'IT WASNT YOUR JOB TO FUCKING SAVE ME JOON........WHY ......IM NOT WORTH IT WHY!!!!!!' I needed to keep these words howling.</p><p>'YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU ....YOU WERE RIGHT....YOU DIED YOUNG.........YOU STUBBORN ASSHOLE .......WAS IT ALL FOR NOTHING.........I GET TO LOVE YOU....I GET TO GIVE YOU MY SOUL AND YOU LEAVE .....EVERYONE LEAVES......EVERYONE AND I GET LEFT BEHIND.....YOU SHOULD HAVE LET HIM SHOOT ME , I DESERVED THIS NOT YOU ........BABY.......ANSWER ME .....I CANT HEAR YOU ANYMORE' I said , my body now on the floor on all fours, my spit leaving my mouth and hitting the floor as my fists hit my head so hard my ears rung.</p><p>I couldn't stop the rage of grief, I couldn't hear any sense in my head .</p><p>I threw whatever I could around my once home, I needed something to speak to me.</p><p>I threw the fruit bowl , it smashing and hitting the couch , releasing a metallic sounded bang as something hit the floor.</p><p>my senses became intrigued ,it was a couch, it shouldn't have made that noise .</p><p>I tiptoed over the chaos on the floor and moved the couch, my arms hurting me as I did it and my eyes meeting what may have been the answer.</p><p>Taehyung's gun was there , the one I had knocked from his hands when he tried to kill me that night, the precious jade green handled metallic phallis.....His pistol....maybe the only thing  he loved , he hadn't come back to get it.</p><p>'Ok......I'm ......I'm Listening now ' I said as my gaze cleared and I leaned down and picked up the gun, its weight in my hand making me feel something, Joy, relief....I don't know......I really don't know.</p><p>So this was it , Katalina had her answer, I said over and over to myself.</p><p>If a tree falls in the woods when no one is around does anyone hear it , I thought to myself .</p><p>I walked backwards to my bed , and sat , and wrapped the blanket around me, my tears acid like all over my face accepting the best choice I could make .</p><p>I pulled out my phone, the signal still gone, and I opened the gallery, and he hit me over and over again, his voice, his skin, his smile, his dick, our bodies together, everything I had ever received from him , flooded through the screen , his voice hitting me and making me quiver .</p><p>'You lied ....and its time to save myself.......I.......I........' I said as I put the phone down at my side.</p><p>I closed my eyes for the final time, breathing the air and holding the pistol handle with both hands , the shaking had subsided, I was alone and I would soon be in the darkness forever.</p><p>I let the tip of the pistol pass my lips, its cold barrel sliding over my tongue , the saliva welcoming it, the only shaking now was in my jaw ........I swallowed to help ease it back ......this was it , I placed my index finger through the loop......and tried to press.</p><p>Silence.....All was silence, just my breath breathing out its last............</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=='MESSAGE TONE' and the phone vibrating made my eyes shoot open, the barrel hitting my teeth and making me hyperventilating , I saw the light as my eyes flinched open.==</p><p>The signal was back .......Who the hell.</p><p>I had never expected this ......never</p><p>MESSAGES:</p><p>NAMJOON: KAT, JAGI, PLEASE KNOW I AM WITH YOU, I AM BY YOUR SIDE ALWAYS . STAY.</p><p>J.X'</p><p>I dropped the phone and the gun, and I screamed, I screamed for as long as I could, and I let the tears wash over me. </p><p>My energy was gone , I just held my hands together , the ring all I had left.</p><p>'Stop saving me Namjoon' I whispered as I let the tears wash me away further into the day.</p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. 44 - So it is now written</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So there is was our story, it has been a bit past  4 years since that day I met the clumsy man in the bar who insulted me and made me fall in love more than I had ever anticipated I could.</p><p>I never understood that Love could do so much to a person, I never understood until I met Namjoon that it could change the very sky you stood under.</p><p>4 years ago I took a risk , and looking back I don't regret him, I don't regret that almost leaving , was the moment I began to live again, his final message saving me at the final moment.</p><p>These following years have changed me and I made sure to keep our promises.</p><p>I'm looking out of my apartment window, the trees of Camden , London, England, and the leaves dancing and letting the sunshine through , a day in the sun, Something I promised myself to enjoy wherever it hit my window.</p><p>You made me live , you were a paradox, through and through and I will tell our story.</p><p>I had finished typing the laptop in front of me, finishing our story, that chapter of my life , the words all captured, for who knows who it will inspire., and then I continued the next part in my mind, the tool I still talked to Namjoon with.</p><p>You wrote love Joon, you wrote love because Jimin inspired you to , you were the poet, ever the wordsmith, even if you made me cringe.</p><p>You educated me , even if you couldn't save yourself fully.</p><p>I understand now , I understand every year on this date, you died 3 years ago today , and I couldn't see at that moment how you would stay with me in some form forever.</p><p>I write to you every year now , writing the new chapters, about us and about a blank canvas.</p><p>Love stories aren't perfect, they also aren't forever are they, Love ends things but it also start them and after it all you gave me a future , a chance to live , and I learned how.</p><p>Everything in life can always be a paradox if you look at it really .</p><p>I had made it back to London, Hobi had helped me when the clarity returned to my mind, he has found you and in time I will come to Korea and be with you once more whenever I can.</p><p>My cousin helped me on my feet , she guided my through everything that followed.</p><p>I did die that day with you, our story right to the end , about loving the other , and I kept my promise.</p><p>I close my eyes and see your eyes sometimes, your photos are in my heart and a few around my apartment.</p><p>So to the next chapters , what will it hold , well that my love, is part of the next story.</p><p>======================================================================</p><p>I just breathed out and fiddled with the ring , Jimin's ring now polished and on my left hands ringer finger, I had had it adapted to fit, joining you forever in my heart.</p><p>I tapped my feet, and smiled thinking of your touch, from the start to the last.</p><p>listening to my life around me, when it hit me .</p><p>A plastic cup, hitting my lap, and making me tilt my head slightly.</p><p>'MAMA....MAMMAAAA OOOOOOPS!!' squealed a little voice , smiling from ear to ear , dimples and all, black hair all fluffy and poking out of lopsided pigtails , </p><p>'Sorry Ae-ra, Mummy was daydreaming again.....lets go ' I said as I scooped up her in my arms and her giggles filling the air , and my lips kissing her chubby cheeks and her grabbing my hand knowing I never took this ring off for more than a moment.</p><p>'Momma ...you happy' She said, her little lisp making her eyes widen and meet mine .</p><p>'I am baby..........anyways let go play in the sand.......let go the the beach and write to your Appa, today is always going to be a happy day......lets go play in the sun ' I said as I held her , a tear almost falling as I loved the little girl in my arms.</p><p>The little girl who had my soul, the little girl who carried your eyes for almost 2 and a half years too ....those dragon eyes never did leave me baby. Our next chapter was starting before our ended and your canvas and words live on, even it took me a while to know about it </p><p>Your Daughter , You saved all of us, I know that all now. xx</p>
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<a name="section0045"><h2>45. 45 - Epilouge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kat's Letter every year on this date , the day Namjoon died, she marked each year , determined to remember the real meaning of all the love she had.- </p><p> </p><p>Dearest Namjoon,</p><p>Firstly as I always start these , I love you , I always love you, Every year on this heart-breaking day, Love blooms every day. </p><p>How have the years flown my darling since you left me in my arms, but I know now you made a choice that you did not regret and it saved more than you know.</p><p>You promised you would always be by my side and I don't think I fully understood how that would work until I found our greatest Love, A love that was close to us both in those final moments.</p><p>Watching her rolling about in the sand now , her smile as beautiful as yours, her dimples match yours, she is as clumsy and bashful as you and it always makes me belly laugh like you did, and those eyes never left me, those mesmerising black diamonds.</p><p>Baby , they shine on in your Daughter, our beautiful shining star .</p><p>Baby, I wish you could have known of her but I know that you do know her , I hear you in her voice, even now as she is totally eating the sand every time she trips up now, I shouldn't laugh, but It reminds me of you, Its good to know that maybe clumsiness is hereditary .</p><p> I didnt know myself she was living in me until I made it back to England like I promised you, but you always had a way of surprising me, and I felt something speaking in my soul , I just didn't know what I was , You healed me one final time when I heard her heartbeat and I knew you were still with me, your heart didnt die that day , it just went somewhere else.</p><p>Aera-Grace , as I've told you each year, was the perfect name, there could be no other, the legacy I wanted for her , and she knows her Appa, she knows you and in time I will tell her our story, its written down, a version for her to know and understand but for now your photos are all over her room and your smile watches her as she sleeps and no doubt baby I know you sneak in some how and tuck her in when I sleep. She knows Halmuni Grace and Samchon Jimin, love goes on, life goes on in her , all they wanted lives on.</p><p>I changed everything I didn't like about myself, and I moved the ring like we promised and I hope that's ok, even making a new name for myself .</p><p>I thought all the love died that day, the concept of it , the cruelty of what I thought it did , I lost all belief in it , but I know I was wrong, I was wrong about the idea of love before I met you, you saved my life without me even knowing it.</p><p>I don't blame Hoseok anymore , I knows he helped you and I know why you accepted , He felt guilty , but I know now he is not at fault, we couldn't have stopped the final blow and you made your choice. You honoured love in its entirety. He was a noble man in an impossible situation just like you. maybe fate really was happening that day, but I have stopped asking that question, I cant keep thinking , because it changes nothing.</p><p>Love is not duration when it is real , it finds a way to go on.</p><p>Hobi, He helped me get back to London, our names cleared , and he knows about our daughter , I told him after that first year, when the love you and I created melted any unnecessary hatred in my heart. Hatred is something that eats and destroys what it touches and I couldn't hold onto that.</p><p>I think he has forgiven himself finally for not being able to save you, the timing wasn't on anyone's side , but he knows he saved a lot more as Jungkook would not have stopped at us, so baby you saved more than just me and our daughter, you saved others from pain they didnt yet know about, and again you are the truest example of love to me.</p><p>Baby, Jagi, I know love isn't perfect, it isn't meant to be, its multi layered, its hard, its pure, its difficult, its fast, its slow....its all the emotions you ever feel , its one of the earliest feelings you learn.</p><p>Love is purity and it can last forever , even if not in physical form.</p><p>Love is always complex but you can't deny it or push it out when its real , whether it last a second or a life time.</p><p>I feel you with me every day, you're the voice in my head, you push my soul forward, you are in my dreams, you live on in my fantasies too. I will never not crave you.</p><p>Thank you for teaching me to love again, love did save the day, even if it didnt keep you here, I know that gave me a chance at life, and you ultimately saved our Daughter , by giving yourself in my place.</p><p>I know you are with your mother and brother, and in a place I hope I get to visit when my time here is done.</p><p>But Baby I promise , I am still by your side, I am always with you.</p><p>Please always shine your light through our beautiful baby girl , our beautiful blank canvas.</p><p>I try not to ramble each year I write these letters, letters with no address other than I hope they fly to your soul.</p><p>I promise I'll never stop trying to feel again, I owe you that, you gave me everything, and I will give everything to Aera-Grace.</p><p>Anyways , shit, I always make these so wordy, but I guess Jimin finally inspired me like he did you, tell him he was right , I'm sure he would like that .</p><p>So until the long night comes,</p><p>Sleep well my beautiful Love, </p><p>Dream of me ,</p><p>Live in our memories and dance in the sky .</p><p>I love you , Saranghae, Ti Amo.</p><p>I love us forever. </p><p>My most beautiful Paradox</p><p>'I will take it away before you stumble  , I will stay by your side until you survive'  </p><p>Love blooms Forever </p><p>Katalina Truva-Kim  , Aera- Grace Kim. xx</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=============================THE END ===========================================</p>
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